baby sleeping problems

It seems that baby Quinn has his days and nights mixed up. Some days I
have to wake him up to eat every time and then he's up all darn night
for hours and hours crying. Nothing we do seems to sooth him except
food and he's eating 3 oz every 2-3 hours (I'm pumping as nursing was
very difficult for me) but then we have to change his diaper after
eating cause he ALWAYS poops during feedings and boy does that make him
mad! He screams at every diaper change. Swaddling has helped some but
not to get him to sleep. DH and I are exhausted. I've been told to
wake him up and stimulate him a lot during the day to eat and change,
and but it's not very easy to keep a 6 day old awake if they're sleepy.
Neither DH nor I have gotten more than 2-3 hours sleep at a stretch.
I've tried sleeping when the baby sleeps but I have a very difficult
time sleeping during the day. We're having difficulty managing Quinn
now. He seems to be very active, not a passive baby in the slightest
and when he gets upset and screaming/crying it can be nearly impossible
to get him to calm down-he gets himself in such a state. So I can't
imagine the challenge for me after DH goes back to work on the 24th.

White noise, cuddling, swaddling, rocking doesn't seem to get him to
sleep so we're going to try a car ride tonight. My best guess is that
he's sleeping around 14 hours a day. Isn't that on the low side? Any
suggestions? We could use the help.

Angela
Quinn born 5/07/04

Angela Schepers wrote:
It seems that baby Quinn has his days and nights mixed up. Some days I
have to wake him up to eat every time and then he's up all darn night
for hours and hours crying.

I wouldn't wake him if I were you - let him wake on his own when he's
hungry, its possible he's overtired and over stimulated. It takes a few
weeks for babies to adjust, the good news is that by about 6 weeks old
he'll likely be sorting out his days and nights and even rewarding you
with some longer sleeping stretches - the bad news is that until then
you can't do a whole lot except feed him and try to sleep when he's
sleeping. Most new parents don't get any more than 2-3 hours sleep at a
time so you're hardly alone. If you are pumping and he's taking a
bottle, why don't you give DH baby duty for a 4-5 hour chunk of the
night, and you take the other half, that way you both can try to get a
longer stretch of sleep at night.

cara

TRy not giving eye contact or make nights fun keep the lights down dim,save
all fun for day time he will soon sort out days and nights, 2-3 hours
between feeds is normal, hang in there it doesn't last too long, you just
can't expect to do anything else but look after him and rest when he does.
good luck
Alissa
"Angela Schepers" wrote in message
news:wGToc.4697$6f5.341694@attbi_s54...
It seems that baby Quinn has his days and nights mixed up. Some days I
have to wake him up to eat every time and then he's up all darn night
for hours and hours crying. Nothing we do seems to sooth him except
food and he's eating 3 oz every 2-3 hours (I'm pumping as nursing was
very difficult for me) but then we have to change his diaper after
eating cause he ALWAYS poops during feedings and boy does that make him
mad! He screams at every diaper change. Swaddling has helped some but
not to get him to sleep. DH and I are exhausted. I've been told to
wake him up and stimulate him a lot during the day to eat and change,
and but it's not very easy to keep a 6 day old awake if they're sleepy.
Neither DH nor I have gotten more than 2-3 hours sleep at a stretch.
I've tried sleeping when the baby sleeps but I have a very difficult
time sleeping during the day. We're having difficulty managing Quinn
now. He seems to be very active, not a passive baby in the slightest
and when he gets upset and screaming/crying it can be nearly impossible
to get him to calm down-he gets himself in such a state. So I can't
imagine the challenge for me after DH goes back to work on the 24th.

White noise, cuddling, swaddling, rocking doesn't seem to get him to
sleep so we're going to try a car ride tonight. My best guess is that
he's sleeping around 14 hours a day. Isn't that on the low side? Any
suggestions? We could use the help.

Angela
Quinn born 5/07/04

"Angela Schepers" wrote in message
news:wGToc.4697$6f5.341694@attbi_s54...
It seems that baby Quinn has his days and nights mixed up. Some days I
have to wake him up to eat every time and then he's up all darn night
for hours and hours crying. Nothing we do seems to sooth him except
food and he's eating 3 oz every 2-3 hours (I'm pumping as nursing was
very difficult for me) but then we have to change his diaper after
eating cause he ALWAYS poops during feedings and boy does that make him
mad! He screams at every diaper change. Swaddling has helped some but
not to get him to sleep. DH and I are exhausted. I've been told to
wake him up and stimulate him a lot during the day to eat and change,
and but it's not very easy to keep a 6 day old awake if they're sleepy.
Neither DH nor I have gotten more than 2-3 hours sleep at a stretch.
I've tried sleeping when the baby sleeps but I have a very difficult
time sleeping during the day. We're having difficulty managing Quinn
now. He seems to be very active, not a passive baby in the slightest
and when he gets upset and screaming/crying it can be nearly impossible
to get him to calm down-he gets himself in such a state. So I can't
imagine the challenge for me after DH goes back to work on the 24th.

White noise, cuddling, swaddling, rocking doesn't seem to get him to
sleep so we're going to try a car ride tonight. My best guess is that
he's sleeping around 14 hours a day. Isn't that on the low side? Any
suggestions? We could use the help.

Would it help you at all to understand that what is going on sounds
absolutely normal? Some babies sleep 23 hours a day at first - mine all
did. But not sleeping that much is also normal. It's normal for babies to
have their days and nights mixed up. It's normal for them to poop during
feeds. It's normal for you to be exhausted. So I'm trying to understand
exactly what we can help with....? Does it help if we all say "Been there,
done that?" Because we all have.

If you wish to or must pump, I will disagree politely with Larry and say
'rent a hospital-grade pump such as a Medela Lactina'. They are designed
for long-term, comfortable, full-time pumping. The others are not. But as
someone who pumped for 21 months for a child who could not/would not nurse,
I have to wonder why you would prefer to do that rather than work through
difficulties with nursing if possible? I'd have given my left arm to be able
to nurse my daughter. But of course, only you know where your limits are.
When I got to my 4th child, having pumped for my one twin, I worked through
6 weeks of a cracked nipple and latch problems rather than pump again! And
thankfully, she's a champ now.

If you can go back to trying to breastfeed, I absolutely agree about lying
down to nurse. I can't sleep while this current nursling is latched on, but
I drowse, and this has been true since she was born. It beats the heck out
of sitting up in a chair. Tiny babies aren't mobile, so I can't imagine
why, after a feed, you can't swaddle him up tight - I mean so he can't
wriggle - and lie down on your side with his head against your chest to
listen to your heart beat? He's not going to roll away. My babies always
liked that.

I can't help with the 'screaming at diaper changes'. You might try a wipe
warmer though. None of my kids ever cared about the wipes being cold, but
some babies do. I wouldn't personally *wake* the baby, *ever*, unless it's
necessary to get him to eat enough. Let a sleeping baby lie! It's just that
at night, be as quiet and uninteresting as possible when you feed/change, vs
being interesting as you do during the day. Don't turn on the light at
night. The change will be slow, but it does come eventually. Take a nap
when DH comes home in the evening. I know you don't think you'll be able to
cope, but the truth is, you'll cope because you'll have to. You'll find
*your* way to cope. It seems impossible because you've never had to do it,
but you *will* find a way. If it means curling up around the baby and
resting when he sleeps - gee, that's harder when you're pumping, I know,
because you have to sit at the pump 8 times a day - you can do it.

If you can get friends or family to come over and hold the baby for an hour,
retreat to your room, put in earplugs, and sleep. Even an hour makes a big
difference. If you can get 7-8 hours of sleep per 24 hour day, even if it's
in broken chunks, that's usually enough to function on.

--angela

So Quinn is 6 days old today? (the 13th of May)

Angela Schepers writes:

: Nothing we do seems to sooth him except
: food and he's eating 3 oz every 2-3 hours (I'm pumping as nursing was
: very difficult for me)

I'm not sure I understand. Very difficult physically or very difficult
emotionally? If he is only 6 days old, I don't understand your use of
nursing the past tense. Are you pumping exclusively? Have you decided
that do don't intend to nurse directly at all? If so, I guess that is
your decision, and we should respect that, however, if your decided to
quit because of physical difficulties and you are still pumping, then
it is probably still quite possible (I won't say easy :-) to get Quinn
to nurse.

If that is the case, (ignore or take this advice as appropriate) I
think it would be helpful to post your problems in mkb. I looked
over there to see if you had, and I could only find two posts from
you, neither of which had to do with your nursing experience.

as for the exclusive pumping, if you tend to go that route, I hope
you have a high quality double pump. I would recommend either a
Medela Pump-in-style or Ameda Purly Yours.

Now on to the sleep question...

: very difficult for me) but then we have to change his diaper after
: eating cause he ALWAYS poops during feedings and boy does that make him
: mad! He screams at every diaper change. Swaddling has helped some but
: not to get him to sleep. DH and I are exhausted. I've been told to
: wake him up and stimulate him a lot during the day to eat and change,

If he is only 6 days old, I can understand the exhaustion, but this is
not unusual. It usually takes from 2 to 4 weeks for a baby to learn to
tell night from day, I think the most important things to do are to
keep the lights off and keep it quiet at night. This will bring him
around to day/night cycles a little quicker.

Another thing that will help is that if you do manage to start nursing,
you can nurse lying down at night, and that will give some additional
rest. Of course, the frequent diaper changes will last for several
more weeks, but even that will taper off at night.

: Neither DH nor I have gotten more than 2-3 hours sleep at a stretch.
: I've tried sleeping when the baby sleeps but I have a very difficult
: time sleeping during the day.

This is a good idea. Lie down and close your eyes every time, even
if you can't go to sleep.

: time sleeping during the day. We're having difficulty managing Quinn
: now. He seems to be very active, not a passive baby in the slightest
: and when he gets upset and screaming/crying it can be nearly impossible
: to get him to calm down-he gets himself in such a state. So I can't
: imagine the challenge for me after DH goes back to work on the 24th.

That's another two weeks. I think you will find he will settle down
a lot by then.

: White noise, cuddling, swaddling, rocking doesn't seem to get him to
: sleep so we're going to try a car ride tonight. My best guess is that
: he's sleeping around 14 hours a day. Isn't that on the low side? Any
: suggestions? We could use the help.

: Angela
: Quinn born 5/07/04

Good luck,
Larry

Unfortunately DH DOES NOT take well to a serious lack of sleep. I
handle the lack of sleep much better physically but definately no better
than him emotionally. Maybe DH could take a 4-5 hour night chunk every
couple nights but not every night, *sigh*. DH is just so tired all
the time.. I'm making him take vitamins now so hopefully that'll help
him out (and me) a little. I've had a history of sleeping problems for
the past 11 years so it's not so hard on me as it is DH. I don't think
I was prepared for how often he would be awake, hungry, and crying at
night. I'm coming to realize that there isn't a whole lot I can do
about his sleeping pattern except be active during the day, then dark
and subdued at night. We did better last night that way so I'm hoping
if we continue that he'll fall into a pattern within the next couple
weeks. We'll just have to wait and see. Thanks for your advice.


I wouldn't wake him if I were you - let him wake on his own when he's
hungry, its possible he's overtired and over stimulated. It takes a few
weeks for babies to adjust, the good news is that by about 6 weeks old
he'll likely be sorting out his days and nights and even rewarding you
with some longer sleeping stretches - the bad news is that until then
you can't do a whole lot except feed him and try to sleep when he's
sleeping. Most new parents don't get any more than 2-3 hours sleep at a
time so you're hardly alone. If you are pumping and he's taking a
bottle, why don't you give DH baby duty for a 4-5 hour chunk of the
night, and you take the other half, that way you both can try to get a
longer stretch of sleep at night.

cara

We're trying this and last night he did sleep better last night, DH and
I included. We'll just keep working on it until he can fall into a
pattern. I've had very little experience with babies and ZERO with
newborns so everything is new and I'm just not sure what to do in
certain circumstances or even what to expect because all babies are
different. Everything is new to both baby and me so we're trying a
myriad things all the time to find what works best for the both of us.
I knew it would be tough when we brought him home we just didn't know it
would be THIS difficult for us, especially because he's such an active
baby. It threw us a bit off guard. I guess it'll just take some
adjusting. Thanks for your advice, we're still hanging in here...


TRy not giving eye contact or make nights fun keep the lights down dim,save
all fun for day time he will soon sort out days and nights, 2-3 hours
between feeds is normal, hang in there it doesn't last too long, you just
can't expect to do anything else but look after him and rest when he does.
good luck
Alissa

Angela Schepers wrote:


I'm coming to realize that there isn't a whole lot I can do
about his sleeping pattern except be active during the day, then dark
and subdued at night.

If you can, grab a friend and go out during the
day. Get out in the fresh air and sunshine. Be active
and about. I know that's tough with your first newborn,
but it will help. I think that's part of why this process
tends to be hardest with the first. The first time around,
you think you can't do it. The second time around, you
don't have a choice about going out during the day because
you have to do things for/with your firstborn ;-) So, you
go about a full day's worth of activities, hauling the
baby along. I think this helps them get into a pattern.
It's not a guarantee. Some babies are just messed up
for a while and there's not a lot you can do about it;
however, on the whole it can make a significant difference.
Also, if you're out with a friend and doing stuff, it
just *seems* easier because at least you've got some
help and companionship. If you can't stomach the thought
of going out, invite people over. Don't worry about the
state of the house or how haggard you might look after
so little sleep. Just let them come over and coo at
the baby (the stimulation will help him be more active
during the day eventually) and maybe they'll even help
out. The company will likely lift your spirits as well.

Good luck,
Ericka

"Angela Schepers" wrote in message
news:wGToc.4697$6f5.341694@attbi_s54...
It seems that baby Quinn has his days and nights mixed up. Some days I
have to wake him up to eat every time and then he's up all darn night
for hours and hours crying. Nothing we do seems to sooth him except
food

Rachel is too- this is exactly our situation! Our pediatrician told us the
day/night thing will usually resolve in a couple of weeks. We have had to
wake her up for feedings. She was good and never cried for 3 days but the
past 2 she cries a lot. The only thing that soothes her is to be at my
breast. Even if she is not feeding. The breastfeeding thing is working
nicely for me, because I have had her sleeping in bed with me and when she
gets hungry I just lay beside her and nurse her- so convenient! So far for
me, breastfeeding is going very well and I am not sore. I have pumped twice.
An ounce and a half yesterday, and 2 ounces this morning. But- she doesn't
like bottles! Especially not from me.

I don't have any advice, it's just that what works for me is to go ahead and
have the baby sleep with me, and for me to nurse her a lot and also let her
be beside me "nursing" even if she is not eating. When she just wants the
comfort, she usuallu just holds me and doesn't suck, and also a lot of the
time she just rests her cheek on my bare skin. I am loving motherhood!

Good luck!
Jill (who is using her 2 free minutes right now!)

Jill wrote:
So far for
me, breastfeeding is going very well and I am not sore. I have pumped twice.
An ounce and a half yesterday, and 2 ounces this morning. But- she doesn't
like bottles! Especially not from me.


Try introducing bottles of pumped breastmilk around 3-4 weeks old, that
has worked well for my 2. Any earlier seems too early for nipple
confusion and any later there's a risk they won't take one at all. This
is for an occasional bottle here and there, others might have other
advice.

cara