14 yr old son anger management

I know everyone must have asked for help with this matter. I have a 14
yr son. He has always has anger problem over the years we had worked
threw them alright. These last few mouth he uncontrolable. Here is an
example. Last week I told him he needed to get up I did the routing
like I was told to do. After everything I finally got him up and he
threw a swored at me. It scared the other children. I just know here
in a few weeks or month he going to hit me. I asked his father to take
him. But until then how so I handle my son
Thank you
Becka

wrote in message
oups.com...
I know everyone must have asked for help with this matter. I have a 14
yr son. He has always has anger problem over the years we had worked
threw them alright. These last few mouth he uncontrolable. Here is an
example. Last week I told him he needed to get up I did the routing
like I was told to do. After everything I finally got him up and he
threw a swored at me. It scared the other children. I just know here
in a few weeks or month he going to hit me. I asked his father to take
him. But until then how so I handle my son

It sounds like you need to work with your son's school, his father, as well
as mental health professionals, like social workers, family counselors or
psychologists.

Unfortunately, you didn't provide us with enough details to give more
advice.

Jeff

Thank you
Becka

In article zh9Vh.1102$Da6.388@trnddc02, Jeff says...


wrote in message
roups.com...
I know everyone must have asked for help with this matter. I have a 14
yr son. He has always has anger problem over the years we had worked
threw them alright. These last few mouth he uncontrolable. Here is an
example. Last week I told him he needed to get up I did the routing
like I was told to do. After everything I finally got him up and he
threw a swored at me. It scared the other children. I just know here
in a few weeks or month he going to hit me. I asked his father to take
him. But until then how so I handle my son

It sounds like you need to work with your son's school, his father, as well
as mental health professionals, like social workers, family counselors or
psychologists.

Unfortunately, you didn't provide us with enough details to give more
advice.


Right.

There are too few details. But one thing that strikes me is, if I wake up my 14
year old the wrong way, he's awful surly. And he's by most accounts a pretty
easy kid.

I also know that a kid picks up on a parent's fear or desire to send him off to
someone else, and that it really hurts.

Otherwise, since I have no idea what "routing" is being referred to or what much
of the rest of the post means.

Banty

Banty wrote:

In article zh9Vh.1102$Da6.388@trnddc02, Jeff says...

wrote in message
groups.com...
I know everyone must have asked for help with this matter. I have a 14
yr son. He has always has anger problem over the years we had worked
threw them alright. These last few mouth he uncontrolable. Here is an
example. Last week I told him he needed to get up I did the routing

routing is probably really meant to be routine

like I was told to do. After everything I finally got him up and he
threw a swored at me. It scared the other children. I just know here
in a few weeks or month he going to hit me. I asked his father to take
him. But until then how so I handle my son

It sounds like you need to work with your son's school, his father, as well
as mental health professionals, like social workers, family counselors or
psychologists.

Unfortunately, you didn't provide us with enough details to give more
advice.

Right.

There are too few details. But one thing that strikes me is, if I wake up my 14
year old the wrong way, he's awful surly. And he's by most accounts a pretty
easy kid.

I also know that a kid picks up on a parent's fear or desire to send him off to
someone else, and that it really hurts.

Otherwise, since I have no idea what "routing" is being referred to or what much
of the rest of the post means.

I want to know what a kid is doing with a swored. Is that a swear
word or a sword?

I agree that there aren't enough details to be credible or to offer
any help. Who is telling her to do the routine.

"Rosalie B." wrote in message
...
I want to know what a kid is doing with a swored. Is that a swear
word or a sword?

He's probably into fantasy gaming or reenactments. It could even be
an epee. It's unlikely to have an edge or a point, but would still be
dangerous if thrown, the way any other heavy or possibly pointed
object would.

Good pick up on "routine." I thought she was referring to some
specific technique she'd learned.

Bizby

wrote in message
oups.com...
I know everyone must have asked for help with this matter. I have a
14
yr son. He has always has anger problem over the years we had worked
threw them alright. These last few mouth he uncontrolable. Here is
an
example. Last week I told him he needed to get up I did the routing
like I was told to do. After everything I finally got him up and he
threw a swored at me. It scared the other children. I just know here
in a few weeks or month he going to hit me. I asked his father to
take
him. But until then how so I handle my son
Thank you

First, do get professional help. If you are at the point where you
are afraid of him, then you need outside help.

Second, do not do battle over anything non-essential, like not picking
up his shoes, or hanging his coat up or so forth.

Third, allow others to impose consequences where appropriate. For
example, perhaps if he slept in and got to school late, he'd face
punishment there.

Fourth, talk to him at a neutral time about things like getting up in
the morning, "I know you don't like to get up, but you do have to go
to school and if you don't get up, I have to get you up. How do you
want to handle this?" My daughter and I had this same situation
(minus the sword!) and this same conversation. It turns out that she
just didn't like to be yelled at, and of course the longer it took her
to get up, the louder I got. Now I watch my tone better, and she's
better about not taking it out on me in the morning even if she does
wake up grumpy and mad.

Fifth, try to avoid situations that you know are going to be hard for
him to handle. I don't know what triggers his anger other than being
woken up, but my daughter tends to get angry when she's embarrassed,
unsure, or when she feels she's being criticized.

Sixth, offer incentives for things that are important. For example,
it's important to me that my daughter go to her therapy sessions, so
we have a deal that every fourth week she gets to go out for fast food
afterward.

Seventh, remember to praise him and brag on him when you can. When we
battle with our children, it can be so hard to feel like we can find
anything good to say. But imagine how he must feel if he hears you on
the phone with his dad saying, "You've got to take him -- I can't
handle him anymore!" versus "Can you believe he got a B on his science
project? I knew when I saw it how good it was!"

Number 1 is the most important -- none of us can tell how volatile he
really is, or whether you or the other kids are in danger. However,
you wouldn't believe how much of a difference the rest has made in
this household!

Bizby