Strange visit to Pediatrician

Carol Ann wrote:

I'm so confused. Am I harming Morgan?

Carol Ann,
This is just an anecdote, but I think it may reassure you. My daughter
Kivi just turned 4 years old. She co-slept and nursed to sleep every
single day of her life until she was a little past her 3rd birthday.

Somewhere around 2.75, she quit falling asleep at night from nursing. I
don't know why ... nursing just lost the ability to make her sleepy at
night. So my husband and I would lay with her in the dark (but in our
room) until she fell asleep. And it wasn't long after that we were able
to leave her in the dark and go about our business and she'd fall
asleep on her own.

However, we moved into our new house where she had her own room, with a
big-girl bed in it. She liked having her own space, but I never pushed
her to move from the toddler bed in our room, to the big girl room in
her own room. I really wanted her to move AFTER she started sleeping
all night regularly - the last thing I wanted was to be stumbling
around in the dark from room to room, waking up even *more*.

At around age 3, she started sleeping all night every night, and at age
3.25, she suddenly told me she wanted to sleep in her own bed. So, I
nursed her, gave her her drink of water, and she said "OK, you can go
now, Mommy". She slept great. I slept horribly. She had occasionally
slept on her own bed during naps when she asked to. She was still
nursing to sleep for naps, by the way. But, except for when we've had
guests using her room, or was sick, she's slept in her own bed ever
since.

As for teeth: Some people have teeth problems, and some don't. We've
always brushed her teeth, then nursed her to sleep. And when she
stopped falling asleep from nursing, we started giving her a drink of
water after nursing to rinse the milk off. She has no cavities at all,
and her teeth are in excellent shape. This is how it will work with
most people. However, some people this would not work for - they may be
prone toward caries - and if Morgan is one, then you should work toward
night weaning. If you are brushing her teeth twice a day, and not
feeding her a diet high in sugar, then she's probably fine.

As with teeth, some people are prone to ear infections, and others
aren't. My daughter, in 4 years, has only had about 1 ear infection
per year. My brother on the other hand, got them every six weeks when
he was little (and he self-weaned at 10 months, and my mother, being a
dentist, NEVER put him to bed with a bottle of any kind), and had 3
sets of ear tubes in 9 years. So has Morgan had lots of ear
infections? Bottle-fed babies ARE more prone to them than breastfed
babies, and babies who nurse lying down, DO get more than babies that
don't. But if Morgan isn't prone to them, and hasn't had many, then
why worry? There's no way of knowing if she would have gotten them if
she hadn't been BF-ing. Perhaps she would have had MORE if she hadn't
gotten the antibodies from you.

Hope all this helps.

Cathy Weeks


Cathy (and the lot of you fantastic, posters!),

Thank you so much for taking so much time to share your experiences. I feel
so much better. Morgan has never had an ear infection before now (and now
I'm wondering if she really does). Since beginning school she has had many
colds.

I plan on letting her co-sleep until she is ready. If that isn't until
college, then so be it. I will, however encourage her to sleep in her own
bed. I will buy her a nice bed and decorate her room nicely. But, if she
wants to sleep with me, fine.

The breastfeeding may continue until she is 2. I just feel that now is not
the time to pull something away from her that she seems to need (especially
while sick).

So, we'll work towards Mar/Apr as a deadline. But, honestly, if we get
there and she isn't ready, so what??? Who's business is it whether I want
to bf for longer?? Screw my mother and her friends (and mine!) who keep
telling me to wean. What is God's name is it hurting for me to bf my
daughter?????????

Thank you, all, for your confidence booster!

I feel a whole heckava lot better! Except for this incredible cold I have.

~Carol Ann

Carol Ann wrote:
Screw my mother and her friends (and mine!) who keep
telling me to wean.

Damn straight. It's none of their business. I love these people who
say, "Do this," and "Do that," but can hang up the phone or go home or
hand her back to you when there are consequences (like a miserable,
screaming baby who feels abandoned!). You are 100% right. Your baby's
needs are way more important than your mother's opinion. And her
friends? *snort* Their opinion matters on the same level as the
mailman's or the toolbooth worker's (as in, not at all).

One note - did you know that weaning begins the moment that you give a
baby solid food? The definition, according to dictionary.com, is, "To
accustom (the young of a mammal) to take nourishment other than by
suckling." You started doing that (accustoming) from her first taste
of solid food. So, if someone hassles you, you can say, "We've started
weaning," with COMPLETE truthfulness, and you can shut them up and get
them off your back without lying. It just happens to take some of us
longer than others to wean. Like 18 months, sometimes, but you've
*started* and that's the truth.

Oh, I get so sick of these busybody old ladies... Don't get me started
on the woman who TOOK OFF MY BABY'S HAT AND BLANKET at the store the
other day. ARGH!!! Old women need to get themselves some frigging
hobbies and leave us alone!!!

Amy

I see you've already gotten a ton of responses, but I have to put in my 2
cents... This is one of those topics that gets a person really riled up!

My daughter slept with me off and on ever since she was born. Mostly
though, she has slept with me. She is now 8. I was a single mom and
enjoyed having her close by. I can assure you that my daughter turned out
very bright, and has an attention span on par with other kids her age, if
not better. I am married now, but every once in awhile my daughter still
likes to make her nest on our bedroom floor. We usually talk and laugh
together with the lights out before we all go to sleep. It reminds me of
camping sort of, and we all enjoy being close like this.

Some people, no matter how "educated" are just plain retarded. I have a low
tolerance for ignorant people, especially ones that I think "should" know
better. But my suggestion would be to shine it on.

Betsy

"Carol Ann" wrote in message
news:MqDrf.432631$084.127960@attbi_s22...
Morgan is 21 months old. She has had a cold for 2 weeks and began to
throw up and have a fever so I took her to the Pediatrician.

Her normal doctor is not in so we saw another one. She was diagnosed with
a double ear infection.

Well, the conversation we had left me kinda stumped. She said that Morgan
should be sleeping in her own bed and putting herself to sleep (vs me
breastfeeding her to sleep and cosleeping) because studies have shown that
children who do not do what she suggested have a small attention span in
school.

Well, what I gathered was that she felt that I was harming Morgan in some
way by continuing to breastfeed and not teach her how to sleep in her own
bed. She also said that if I waited until Morgan was 2 1/2 I may as well
wait until she is 7 or 8 because she would never learn.

She suggested I make the big girl bed a big deal to Morgan (which I
accept), that I put her to sleep in a dark room (which I accept) and that
I let her cry for 15 minute intervals before I go in to put her back down
to sleep. She said that it could go on for hours but to not give in.

She also said to give her 3/4 of a teaspoon of Benedryl to help her sleep
for the 7 - 10 days it would take to train her to sleep on her own. She
said to use it every nite for the 7 - 10 days, but not forever.

I asked her if Morgan would feel the effects of the drugs and know
something is wrong. She said no.

I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. She can't
be right in suggesting I drug my daughter?? Can she?

IF I try to wean Morgan but still sleep together is that hurting her?

What if I cut out all day feedings and just feed her to sleep?? Is that
wrong? Then, after time, take that one away?

The doctor also said that breastfeeding to sleep was bad for Morgan's
teeth and could also be causing her ear infections b/c she is laying down
with a pool of milk in her ears. That's not right is it? Don't they only
get milk when the suck and then they swallow it??

I'm so confused. Am I harming Morgan?

Thanks for your input in advance.

Merry Christmas!!

Carol Ann
http://tinyurl.com/b9e9r ---- Pictures of Morgan