Bedtime destruction-Xpost

HELP!
My three year old is a terror at nap and bedtime. He used to be such a sweet
child and now, holy cow. He's destroying his room. The only thing he has in
there are windows, a bed, a bookcase, a dresser and two fans, as it is very
hot here in the Pacific NW.

In regards to the window:
He has completely ripped his roller shades to bits. I think there's more
duct tape on them then there is plastic left.
He has ripped out the screen on one. (The screens are on the inside, old
house!)
He has broken his curtain rod several times.
He has drawn on the molding around the windows by scratching with the metal
prongs from the plug of his fan.

Bookcase:
He has pulled it over (small bookcase only 3 feet high). Don't worry it's
now screwed to the wall.
He has ripped ALL the pages out of 2 board books. One was a library book,
sigh.
He rips all books somewhat therefore no more books, just empty shelves
screwed to the wall.

Bed:
He has round knobs on the 4 corners of his bed firmly glued in place, yet he
has removed three of said knobs.
He drew on the footboard of his bed with the above mentioned plug prongs.

Dresser:
For some reason the only problems we've had is him changing his clothes
during nap. No real problem there.

Fans:
He keeps unplugging them and turning them off. They are plugged into an
extension cord because the outlet is far away from the window (window fan).
We had wrapped electrical tape around the plugs to keep them in the
extension cord but as you can see from the drawings mentioned above he just
unwrapped it.

Remarkably there is a closet filled with stuff including my clothes and
storage that he hasn't been in (to the best of my knowledge). I guess I
should lock it as he's running out of damage to do.

Also he keeps coming out of his room, at least 20 or more times every nap
and bedtime. Tonight I finally put a lock on the outside of his door, but it
made me feel really crappy. I don't like locking him in especially since
he's so destructive.

I take away privileges when he does something destructive to his room. I
take away dessert after dinner, storytime before bed, or his fireman sheets
that he likes come off the bed. I am running out of ideas since it's not
working. Any suggestions welcome for either the destructive behavior or how
to get him to stay in his room.

I am considering putting toys in his room so he will have something else to
focus on at quiet/nap time, but I am afraid of the damage he will be able to
cause to/with them. I also feel this is a privilege he needs to earn. We
have told him when he stops wrecking his room he can have toys up there but
maybe it's too much to ask. Maybe the toys will keep him from wrecking
things?

He does actually take naps about three days a week and goes to bed after
about an hour but it's definitely getting longer. Last night it was three
hours before he fell asleep. Tonight we're at 1.5 hours.
Thanks.
--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00

"Kender" wrote in message
news:wFGVa.15870$YN5.13898@sccrnsc01...
HELP!
My three year old is a terror at nap and bedtime. He used to be such a
sweet
child and now, holy cow. He's destroying his room. The only thing he has
in
there are windows, a bed, a bookcase, a dresser and two fans, as it is
very
hot here in the Pacific NW.

The only thing DS has within reach is his mattress, which is surrounded by
two Superyard XT's hooked together.

In regards to the window:
He has completely ripped his roller shades to bits. I think there's more
duct tape on them then there is plastic left.
He has ripped out the screen on one. (The screens are on the inside, old
house!)
He has broken his curtain rod several times.

Put the mattress surrounded by Superyard XT away from the windows.

He has drawn on the molding around the windows by scratching with the
metal
prongs from the plug of his fan.

The fan is a safety hazard. I put one in DS's room, but it is out of reach,
away from his coral.

Bed:
He has round knobs on the 4 corners of his bed firmly glued in place, yet
he
has removed three of said knobs.

Leave them off until he becomes less destructive.

He drew on the footboard of his bed with the above mentioned plug prongs.

Get rid of the fan. It's a safety hazard.

Fans:
He keeps unplugging them and turning them off. They are plugged into an
extension cord because the outlet is far away from the window (window
fan).
We had wrapped electrical tape around the plugs to keep them in the
extension cord but as you can see from the drawings mentioned above he
just
unwrapped it.

That is why it's a safety hazard. He may begin practicing plugging it in
and plugging other things in, throwing things in the fan, etc.
Electrocution hazard, flying objects hazard, cutting off fingers hazard.

Also he keeps coming out of his room, at least 20 or more times every nap
and bedtime. Tonight I finally put a lock on the outside of his door, but
it
made me feel really crappy. I don't like locking him in especially since
he's so destructive.

Superyard XT does wonders. DS just went through a short phase of calling
for me every five minutes at bedtime. The phase came on suddenly, but I had
to figure out what to do. Finally, I decided to do what everyone else here
recommends. I just walked in, put him in bed and left, over and over. No
talking or anything. He finally tired of it and just went to sleep. At
first, it took an hour. I pretty much camped outside his door. The next
day, it was miraculously only half an hour. That was a few days ago.
Tonight, he's only called me once.


I take away privileges when he does something destructive to his room. I
take away dessert after dinner, storytime before bed, or his fireman
sheets
that he likes come off the bed. I am running out of ideas since it's not
working. Any suggestions welcome for either the destructive behavior or
how
to get him to stay in his room.

Superyard XT takes care of both problems.

He does actually take naps about three days a week and goes to bed after
about an hour but it's definitely getting longer. Last night it was three
hours before he fell asleep. Tonight we're at 1.5 hours.
Thanks.

How long does he sleep when he naps? If he doesn't sleep long, I'd cut it
out. He may not be sleepy enough to nap. Maybe then you'd have better luck
getting him to fall asleep at bedtime. Good luck.

"Kender" wrote in message
news:wFGVa.15870$YN5.13898@sccrnsc01...
HELP!
My three year old is a terror at nap and bedtime. He used to be such a
sweet
child and now, holy cow.

Isn't that crazy?! Mine seemed like angels at two compared to how they are
now at three.

He's destroying his room. The only thing he has in
there are windows, a bed, a bookcase, a dresser and two fans, as it is
very
hot here in the Pacific NW.

I have finally gotten the boys' room to the point where most everything is
attached. They have their beds with drawers underneath that can roll, but
not a big deal. I built in a long bench, two corner cupboards and shelves
which are all attached to studs with 3 1/2 inch screws. Nothing can be
moved! Their dresser and clothes are in my room and their closet full of
storage right now is locked.
It has been hot. It was 110 here yesterday and 106 today. Tomorrow is
supposed to *only* be 103. LOL Fans are a necessity even with air
conditioning. Actually we have a swamp cooler since I'm in the desert land
of Eastern WA. Some day I'll add central air, but that's a little beyond my
budget right now.


[...]

I am considering putting toys in his room so he will have something else
to
focus on at quiet/nap time, but I am afraid of the damage he will be able
to
cause to/with them. I also feel this is a privilege he needs to earn. We
have told him when he stops wrecking his room he can have toys up there
but
maybe it's too much to ask. Maybe the toys will keep him from wrecking
things?

Maybe what you could do is give him a couple toys in there and let him know
that he can add another one every time he's not destructive. Of course
having toys might extend the time it takes him to go to sleep, but it might
keep his attention better. I can't imagine not having toys in the kids'
room, but that's because if they're not there, they seem to take over the
entire house.

I hope this is only a short lived stage, Erin. Were your girls like this at
three?

Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000

Hmmm,

I can't imagine. I don't know if I just got lucky with Alexis or what? She
has never gotten out of her bed when she is told it is Nap or Bed time. But,
around 3 she did go through a time where she was not happy about either and
would either complain, cry, or make 1million and 1 requests. How we solved
this was at first I told her that she didn't have to like Nap time or Bed time
but, it isn't a choice, she needs it to stay healthy. ( We tried a couple of
days doing away with the nap and she was terribly whinny and practically
falling asleep during dinner time, so I realized it was still a necessity.)
So, I gave her a couple of options we talked about sleep and why she needs it
and why she didn't want to sleep and what would make her feel better about
going to bed. We came up with books, she loves books. So she was allowed to
read her books before nodding off and it worked like a charm. At night time
she was allowed to have her lamp on. This year when she started complaining
again about nap time and not so much bed time I told her that she doesn't have
to take a "NAP" but she can read books and lay down and rest her eyes for a
little while. Guess what? This worked like a charm and she falls asleep every
time!!! We got one of those rest mats from Walmart so, she thought it was
kinda cool. It was as if this new rest time was not like nap time at all.



~Kimberly
Mommy to Alexis Iliana 07/17/99 and
Emma Elidia & Aislyn Gabriela 10/01/02
come see us...
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aislynemma/

HI -

The behavior issue I can't speak to. It sounds as though something else
is going on that you need to ferret out.

But not napping or taking a long time to go to sleep ... when my 2nd son
was three we had to eliminate naptime. If I needed quiet he got to
watch TV for an hour (which was sufficient rest for him actually. AN
there ar great kid shows on in the mid-afternoon.) Life improved
immediately on the elimination of the nap.

Just my experience,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

The only thing DS has within reach is his mattress, which is surrounded by
two Superyard XT's hooked together.


How old is your DS? Because the Superyard worked great for my guys until they
were about 18 mos., then they could lift it right up and go under it.


Ellen
--------
Erin 6/26/95
Bradley & Alex 10/5/00

eliminate nap time for him give him a rest time for 1 hour during the day.
works wonders if he is not tired don't insist on nap time cause they will
just fight you on it. My son stopped taking naps at 2 1/2 but went to bed
early at 7 30 slept til 7 next morning now he puts himself to bed at 8 pm
and wakes up at 6 he is 10 i have been trying to keep him up but he
refuses.. weird child i call him ( he laughs at me for saying it to him)..
Best of luck anyhow!!
wendy
mom of 4 now!!

"Kender" wrote in message
news:wFGVa.15870$YN5.13898@sccrnsc01...
HELP!
My three year old is a terror at nap and bedtime. He used to be such a
sweet
child and now, holy cow. He's destroying his room. The only thing he has
in
there are windows, a bed, a bookcase, a dresser and two fans, as it is
very
hot here in the Pacific NW.

In regards to the window:
He has completely ripped his roller shades to bits. I think there's more
duct tape on them then there is plastic left.
He has ripped out the screen on one. (The screens are on the inside, old
house!)
He has broken his curtain rod several times.
He has drawn on the molding around the windows by scratching with the
metal
prongs from the plug of his fan.

Bookcase:
He has pulled it over (small bookcase only 3 feet high). Don't worry it's
now screwed to the wall.
He has ripped ALL the pages out of 2 board books. One was a library book,
sigh.
He rips all books somewhat therefore no more books, just empty shelves
screwed to the wall.

Bed:
He has round knobs on the 4 corners of his bed firmly glued in place, yet
he
has removed three of said knobs.
He drew on the footboard of his bed with the above mentioned plug prongs.

Dresser:
For some reason the only problems we've had is him changing his clothes
during nap. No real problem there.

Fans:
He keeps unplugging them and turning them off. They are plugged into an
extension cord because the outlet is far away from the window (window
fan).
We had wrapped electrical tape around the plugs to keep them in the
extension cord but as you can see from the drawings mentioned above he
just
unwrapped it.

Remarkably there is a closet filled with stuff including my clothes and
storage that he hasn't been in (to the best of my knowledge). I guess I
should lock it as he's running out of damage to do.

Also he keeps coming out of his room, at least 20 or more times every nap
and bedtime. Tonight I finally put a lock on the outside of his door, but
it
made me feel really crappy. I don't like locking him in especially since
he's so destructive.

I take away privileges when he does something destructive to his room. I
take away dessert after dinner, storytime before bed, or his fireman
sheets
that he likes come off the bed. I am running out of ideas since it's not
working. Any suggestions welcome for either the destructive behavior or
how
to get him to stay in his room.

I am considering putting toys in his room so he will have something else
to
focus on at quiet/nap time, but I am afraid of the damage he will be able
to
cause to/with them. I also feel this is a privilege he needs to earn. We
have told him when he stops wrecking his room he can have toys up there
but
maybe it's too much to ask. Maybe the toys will keep him from wrecking
things?

He does actually take naps about three days a week and goes to bed after
about an hour but it's definitely getting longer. Last night it was three
hours before he fell asleep. Tonight we're at 1.5 hours.
Thanks.
--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00

In article ,
"David&Wendy" wrote:

eliminate nap time for him give him a rest time for 1 hour during the day.
works wonders if he is not tired don't insist on nap time cause they will
just fight you on it. My son stopped taking naps at 2 1/2 but went to bed
early at 7 30 slept til 7 next morning now he puts himself to bed at 8 pm
and wakes up at 6 he is 10 i have been trying to keep him up but he
refuses.. weird child i call him ( he laughs at me for saying it to him)..
Best of luck anyhow!!
wendy
mom of 4 now!!


Enjoy it. My 17 yo son is STILL an early riser. He may stay up late
sometimes, but he's usually the first one up in the morning.

The only problem is that his twin sister is a night owl -- though they
are now old enough so *I* don't have to be up with them, during the
summer when they set their own schedules completely I still feel like
I'm back in their infancy in some ways, with his sister up until 3 or 4
in the morning, and him up by 7!

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

Thanks so much for all your ideas and support.

I've decided to give Evan back his books but no library books. I put some
toys in there last night. Thanks Dorothy. Of course he doesn't need to earn
them. I just got in a power struggle and didn't realize it. I put the girls
dollhouse and accessories (he loves it, they are bored with it) and a fire
truck and some puzzles. I need to work out a new situation for the fan. I'm
not sure how. It was 100 degrees yesterday and his room has no good
positioning for fans. Maybe we can build a shelf. I wish I could move his
bed away from the windows but his room is really small, about 7 feet by 20
feet! It used to be an old sleeping porch back in 1913. The garbage bags may
be needed on his windows but Evan's on the second floor! Bed knobs are
staying off. I think I'll pass on the bullet or brandy suggestion.

This all started when he was moved out of his crib in February. He has just
gotten braver and more daring each day. It really got bad in May when he was
potty trained and allowed to leave his room to use the bathroom. My girls
were never like this! Maybe a ripped book or two but that was the extent of
it. We had a doorknob cover on the inside of their room room but Evan
figured out how to take his off right away, hence the lock on the outside. I
think I will use this from time to time but I will try to not make it a
habit. It's reassuring that some of you contain your kids too, just in
different ways. Evan would definitely figure out a superyard. He's a
climber.

When he does fall asleep I can get two hours out of him. He already goes to
bed at 7:30 so I can't imagine moving up his bedtime. Anyway, thanks for all
the suggestions. Keep them coming if you have any more and I will update you
on how the toys go. Too bad Janet is in France. Her kids always seem to be
into the same things as mine. I guess you're there too Ellen!

--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00
"Kender" wrote in message
news:wFGVa.15870$YN5.13898@sccrnsc01...
HELP!
My three year old is a terror at nap and bedtime. He used to be such a
sweet
child and now, holy cow. He's destroying his room. The only thing he has
in
there are windows, a bed, a bookcase, a dresser and two fans, as it is
very
hot here in the Pacific NW.

In regards to the window:
He has completely ripped his roller shades to bits. I think there's more
duct tape on them then there is plastic left.
He has ripped out the screen on one. (The screens are on the inside, old
house!)
He has broken his curtain rod several times.
He has drawn on the molding around the windows by scratching with the
metal
prongs from the plug of his fan.

Bookcase:
He has pulled it over (small bookcase only 3 feet high). Don't worry it's
now screwed to the wall.
He has ripped ALL the pages out of 2 board books. One was a library book,
sigh.
He rips all books somewhat therefore no more books, just empty shelves
screwed to the wall.

Bed:
He has round knobs on the 4 corners of his bed firmly glued in place, yet
he
has removed three of said knobs.
He drew on the footboard of his bed with the above mentioned plug prongs.

Dresser:
For some reason the only problems we've had is him changing his clothes
during nap. No real problem there.

Fans:
He keeps unplugging them and turning them off. They are plugged into an
extension cord because the outlet is far away from the window (window
fan).
We had wrapped electrical tape around the plugs to keep them in the
extension cord but as you can see from the drawings mentioned above he
just
unwrapped it.

Remarkably there is a closet filled with stuff including my clothes and
storage that he hasn't been in (to the best of my knowledge). I guess I
should lock it as he's running out of damage to do.

Also he keeps coming out of his room, at least 20 or more times every nap
and bedtime. Tonight I finally put a lock on the outside of his door, but
it
made me feel really crappy. I don't like locking him in especially since
he's so destructive.

I take away privileges when he does something destructive to his room. I
take away dessert after dinner, storytime before bed, or his fireman
sheets
that he likes come off the bed. I am running out of ideas since it's not
working. Any suggestions welcome for either the destructive behavior or
how
to get him to stay in his room.

I am considering putting toys in his room so he will have something else
to
focus on at quiet/nap time, but I am afraid of the damage he will be able
to
cause to/with them. I also feel this is a privilege he needs to earn. We
have told him when he stops wrecking his room he can have toys up there
but
maybe it's too much to ask. Maybe the toys will keep him from wrecking
things?

He does actually take naps about three days a week and goes to bed after
about an hour but it's definitely getting longer. Last night it was three
hours before he fell asleep. Tonight we're at 1.5 hours.
Thanks.
--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00

Kender wrote:
HELP!
My three year old is a terror at nap and bedtime. He used to be such
a sweet child and now, holy cow. He's destroying his room.

I'd try eliminating nap time and see if he'd lay on the couch and watch
cartoons or a movie instead. Then the bedtime could be moved up a tad to
allow him more sleep. If my youngest gets too tired at night he becomes Mr.
Destructo. If you eliminate nap and move bed time up you might catch him
before he hits the bouncing off the walls stage.

I'd remove things like books and put toys in his room that are soft.
Stuffed animals, cool blankets - maybe a tent, cars made out of material,
sponge balls. I think he is to young to understand the earning toys for his
room thing. He might understand removing them if he treats them poorly but
I'm not sure he'd get good behavior = getting toys. Add interesting things
to the ceiling that he can look at. Glow in the dark stars, airplanes
perhaps. Things to make it a nice place but that he can't get at. You
could actually make a toy that has various buckles, plugs, mazes, etc. and
put it on plywood and bolt it to the floor/wall so he couldn't throw it
around. You can remove all the window coverings and put a wallpaper boarder
or paint around the window so it doesn't look so bare. People will be able
to see in but what the heck ;-) I suppose you could cover the outside of
the glass with some kind of tint. I'd lock the closet now, Lol.

I take away privileges when he does something destructive to his
room. I take away dessert after dinner, storytime before bed, or his
fireman sheets that he likes come off the bed.

Hunter would not have made the connection with those at three. I think some
immediate action would be better.

I lay with mine until they fall asleep. That works great by the way but be
prepared to do it for the long haul since most kids really like that and
loath to give it up. If not that I would just take him back to bed every
time he got up and do some serious burning off of energy during the day for
the next couple of weeks hoping he is so tired at night he starts a new
routine of just falling over in bed from exhaustion. It sounds like he has
energy to spare. Going swimming, to the park, being outside all day,
running in the sprinkler, going to the zoo, building things, playing ball,
pounding and painting outside, etc. are all things we do to help ours fall
asleep quickly and easily. The downside to that is that the hours between
supper and bed need to be really super kid focused or there are meltdowns.
They fall asleep fast though so it might be worth a try for a couple weeks
just to break the cycle of destruction.

Good luck

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)