OT Silly Car Seat & Out & About Question

Nikki wrote in message ...
Am I the only one that has has a child on her lap for every meal for the
last 4 years?? Just this week I'm working on getting Luke to sit in his
own
chair. I must be a huge push over!


--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4.5) and Luke (2.5)

I would say that I have a child on my lap for about 75% of my meals.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 29 months
and Christopher, 4 months

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Akuvikate wrote in message ...

Criminey -- does it strike anyone else as a bit odd that folks feel
the need to be defensive on this ng about putting the baby down for 20
minutes to eat dinner at a restaurant? Most other parents I know use
the strollers and buckets (and a sling either little or not at all)
but somehow still manage love their babies and be plenty attached to
them. I dig my sling and use it far more than the stroller, and for
me that's the right parenting choice. The Bug, however, didn't do a
very good job of reading the AP books on how she's supposed to feel.
Around the house she's often happier hanging out in her Gymini than
she is sitting in the sling while I do something boring like sit in
front of the computer :-) She sometimes *likes* to be put down!

Yeah,. I hear you loud and clear. Christopher loves to be held, but same as
yours, also loves to just play on the floor. There's no reason to feel
guilty for putting the baby down to enjoy eating dinner if the baby is
content.

laurie
mommy to Jessica, 29 months
and Christopher, 4 months

*This email address is now valid*


If you prefer to hold or sling your baby through meals, and that's
what your baby likes, then that's the right thing for you to do. But
a bucket or stroller isn't a sensory deprivation or torture chamber,
and it strikes me as out of bounds to judge someone for using them
unless the baby is clearly unhappy and its parents are ignoring it.
And even then I try to withhold judgement unless I really know the
situation (ie, I know it's not a chronically fussy baby who seems
unhappy no matter what its parents do).

Bear in mind, by the time our kids have our grandchildren, there's a
good chance AP will have gone the way of Dr. Spock. And we'll either
have to acknowledge that there's more than one "right" way to raise
kids or we'll end up as annoying as the in-laws who are pushing solids
at 12 weeks.

Kate
and the Bug, June 8 2003

Then putting her down is AP - since AP is listening to what
the baby needs, not keeping the baby physically attached to
you at every moment.

For us, slings are good for times when mommy is standing /
walking or baby is sleeping. Wakeful baby and sitting mommy
is *not* a good sling combination for us. Bouncy seat or
standing on mommy's lap is much better in the opinion of the
wakeful baby.

Since we have the Very Sleepy Carseat, odds are Caterpillar
will sleep through a meal out, which makes the sling a good
choice. If she wakes, I eat standing up or with her
standing on my lap or with her nursing. So I wouldn't carry
a stroller or carseat in with us, because the odds are
better that we wouldn't use it than that we would.

Phoebe

Jessi is just like Caterpillar. when it comes to sling and sitting
still. Moving about is good for sling. I agree AP is doing what your
baby wants. I hold her if she wants, but man sometimes she really
digs the bouncy seat or the johnny jump seat better than being held.

I do sometimes bring a stroller out to eat though and push it back and
forth as a way to sooth her. Her stroller is a deluxe model that we
sometimes use around hte house as a bassinet. We do not have one of
the bucket carseat/stroller things. Truthfully, I did always kind of
dislike the buckets thinking that it makes you touch the baby less
since they can go from carseat to stroller to shopping cart, etc.
without ever being touched, so I opted for separate a separate
stroller and carseat.

KC
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Hi,

I was the OP of the other thread and wanted to thank you so much for
saying what I thought but didn't have the nerve to say :-)

I got the message that I was somehow being cruel to dd by keeping her
in the car seat for 15 minutes while I eat out at a restaurant. She
is only in it while I eat (and doesn't mind it)and I always take her
out towards the end of the meal so she can see what is going on. She
only spends time in it while we are having a meal. The rest of the
time she is in the stroller which she loves or I carry her in the BB.
However, yesterday I used to BB (forward facing) while we ate at a
restarant and it worked very well. I was able to have her in it and
have my hands free to eat. Thanks to whoever suggested this :-)

Dd sometimes doesn't like me holding her all the time. She loves to
spend time just rolling around on a sheet on the floor or playing in
her bouncer, swing, exersaucer, play gym. Even sometimes at night
when I am rocking her to sleep she will start to stretch out into the
position she likes to sleep in as if to say "please put me down now
because I am ready to sleep."

I agree with you Kate when you say that you shouldn't judge someone
that uses the car seat to carry there child around in. It doesn't
mean that it is wrong ... from what I have heard a lot of babies love
being in it. Dd does. In fact she sleeps really well in it.
Sometimes if she is asleep when we get back home I don't wake her and
let her sleep in it.

Bear in mind, by the time our kids have our grandchildren, there's a
good chance AP will have gone the way of Dr. Spock. And we'll either
have to acknowledge that there's more than one "right" way to raise
kids or we'll end up as annoying as the in-laws who are pushing solids
at 12 weeks.

Very well put :-)

Wendy J.
Katie (4/13/03)

Criminey -- does it strike anyone else as a bit odd that folks feel
the need to be defensive on this ng about putting the baby down for 20
minutes to eat dinner at a restaurant? Most other parents I know use
the strollers and buckets (and a sling either little or not at all)
but somehow still manage love their babies and be plenty attached to
them. I dig my sling and use it far more than the stroller, and for
me that's the right parenting choice. The Bug, however, didn't do a
very good job of reading the AP books on how she's supposed to feel.
Around the house she's often happier hanging out in her Gymini than
she is sitting in the sling while I do something boring like sit in
front of the computer :-) She sometimes *likes* to be put down!

If you prefer to hold or sling your baby through meals, and that's
what your baby likes, then that's the right thing for you to do. But
a bucket or stroller isn't a sensory deprivation or torture chamber,
and it strikes me as out of bounds to judge someone for using them
unless the baby is clearly unhappy and its parents are ignoring it.
And even then I try to withhold judgement unless I really know the
situation (ie, I know it's not a chronically fussy baby who seems
unhappy no matter what its parents do).

Bear in mind, by the time our kids have our grandchildren, there's a
good chance AP will have gone the way of Dr. Spock. And we'll either
have to acknowledge that there's more than one "right" way to raise
kids or we'll end up as annoying as the in-laws who are pushing solids
at 12 weeks.

Kate
and the Bug, June 8 2003

Akuvikate wrote:
Around the house she's often happier hanging out in her Gymini than
she is sitting in the sling while I do something boring like sit in
front of the computer :-) She sometimes *likes* to be put down!

Then putting her down is AP. Gabe's always liked having alone time.


If you prefer to hold or sling your baby through meals, and that's
what your baby likes, then that's the right thing for you to do. But
a bucket or stroller isn't a sensory deprivation or torture chamber,
and it strikes me as out of bounds to judge someone for using them
unless the baby is clearly unhappy and its parents are ignoring it.

I don't care if babies are perfectly happy hanging out in their buckets. The
thing that bugs me is when the parents never take them out of the things -
and yes, I'm speaking of parents I knew personally, so yes, I did go into
their homes and see how they parented, I'm not just talking about running
into them at the grocery store.

I know that I have seen a lot of babies sitting in buckets wailing while the
parents ignored them. Probably others here have as well. Not to mention
parents propping bottles for babies in buckets.

I don't think it's that bucket seats are inherently evil, it's that it's
easy to misuse them.

And even then I try to withhold judgement unless I really know the
situation (ie, I know it's not a chronically fussy baby who seems
unhappy no matter what its parents do).

Mm. I had a kid who was miserable for a couple months until I cut dairy out
of my diet. He cried most of the time he was awake. I didn't think, though,
that it was OK to just put him down and let him cry by himself; I figured he
may be unhappy, but at least he can be unhappy with someone, not alone.
Could just be my AP sensibilities talking ; )


Bear in mind, by the time our kids have our grandchildren, there's a
good chance AP will have gone the way of Dr. Spock.

Although AP has been in use for thousands of years already.

--
iphigenia
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."

Marie wrote in message
The thing I have against bucket seats is that most every baby I see is
restrained in a seat or a stroller and they shouldn't be spending
their babyhood that way (imo

Oh geez Marie. Just because a baby is out of the house in a bucket while mom
shops or gets something to eat, doesn't mean the baby is spending its
babyhood in a carseat.

) The only time I've seen a baby not fuss
in a bucket seat is when it is asleep.

Then you didn't see all three of mine and my nephew. There were a few times
that my kids were in the carseat for a little bit and they didn't fuss or
mind it. They actually sat there and watched the world go by or swat at
their toys that I had attached to it. As soon as they did start to fuss
though, they were taken out.
--
Sue
mom to three girls

"iphigenia" wrote in message kes, then that's the
Mm. I had a kid who was miserable for a couple months until I cut dairy out
of my diet. He cried most of the time he was awake. I didn't think, though,
that it was OK to just put him down and let him cry by himself; I figured he
may be unhappy, but at least he can be unhappy with someone, not alone.
Could just be my AP sensibilities talking ; )

That's what earplugs are for - lol. I just wore some today while
carrying my crying baby about.

KC
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Whittlestone Breast Expresser Distributor:

Special discount available for newsgroup participants.
Contact me at for details.

"Wendy J." wrote in message
m...
However, yesterday I used to BB (forward facing) while we ate at a
restarant and it worked very well. I was able to have her in it and
have my hands free to eat. Thanks to whoever suggested this :-)

How the heck did you do this? When DS was in the BB, his head was always in
the way. It was the correct height, according to the instructions, but it
would still have been a problem had he been lower. Not only that, but the
distance between the table and me would have been too great to eat
comfortably and food would be all over DS's head. We never used it much
anyway, because it was too hot and DS found it too restrictive.

"Phoebe & Allyson" wrote in message
...

Then putting her down is AP - since AP is listening to what
the baby needs, not keeping the baby physically attached to
you at every moment.

EXACTLY!!

--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
remove "no........spam" to reply

"iphigenia" wrote in message ...


Although AP has been in use for thousands of years already.

Yes and no -- though many components of AP (babywearing,
breastfeeding, co-sleeping) have been around for a long time, I think
a lot of the philosophy motivating the AP use of those things is as
much a product of our current cultural beliefs as schedule feeding and
sterile nurseries were a few decades ago. I'm currently re-reading
Meredith Small's excellent _Our_Babies,_Our_Selves_ that looks at
cross-cultural parenting. It's a wonderful clear-eyed look at
parenting that reinforces most of AP practice but also debunks some of
the romanticization of other cultures that I find often crops up in
the AP community.

Kate
and the Bug, June 8 2003