Foster parent program offers troubled youths the opportunity of a fresh start

Foster parent program offers troubled youths the opportunity of a
fresh start
By Mitzi Perdue
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Times Photo by Todd Dudek

May 9 is Mother's Day and to celebrate it, consider some of the
mothers who deserve the most credit of all: foster care mothers (To be
fair, the foster care fathers deserve equal billing, so we'll give
them credit today as well).

Paul Cox, a foster care case worker at the Wicomico Department of
Social Services, gets to see every day just how big a difference
foster parents make. His case load is 35 youngsters and visiting them
all at least once a month can mean days that last from 6:30 a.m. to
7:30 p.m.

He visits with the children, their foster parents, their teachers,
maybe their clergyman or doctor, and generally finds out how the child
is doing and if anything needs to be changed. In the years that he's
been doing this, he's seen a lot of how the foster care system works.

It's left him with a true love not only for his job, but also for the
foster parents who are making a lifelong difference in the lives of
the 165 foster children from our area. Take the case of Sam, for
example.

Sam's name and identifying details have been changed, but what you're
about to read is essentially accurate. Sam's case isn't typical,
however. It's more extreme than you'd normally expect, but it shows
the difference foster parents can make in a young person's life.

At age 10, Sam's parents couldn't cope with him and left him with
Social Services. Sam found himself abandoned by the very people who
were supposed to nurture and love him.

Of course it wasn't completely one-sided. Sam's behavior had been
driving his parents up the wall and maybe out onto the roof as well.
He was skipping school, writing obscene graffiti, vandalizing public
property, smoking, picking fights, not following his curfew, and
generally proving to his frustrated parents that they had no control
over him.

At school, Sam was sullen and withdrawn, except when he was being
disruptive. For his parents, coping with him was more than they could
handle.

However, as Paul Cox knows, behaviors like these don't just happen by
themselves. There were things going on to cause Sam to react that way.

Cox discovered that Sam had been physically and emotionally abused
since he was an infant. The youngster's response to the abuse was both
hostility and withdrawal.

Fortunately for Sam, Cox was able to see that behind Sam's sullen,
hostile facade, there was a wonderful young man inside, a young man
who deserved a better chance than he had been given so far. With Cox's
help, Sam landed in a foster care home that gave him the love,
attention and structure that he needed and deserved.

Sam's transformation was rapid. As Cox said, his new foster family
"made all the difference in the world."

Today, at age 20, Sam is a high school graduate, has a responsible
job, and countless friends. The formerly withdrawn and sullen young
man now has the nickname "Mr. Personality."

Sam's foster parents are heroes because they made such a difference in
Sam's life. The caring, love and structure they gave him meant a
chance for happiness and a chance for respect. The difference they
made will continue for the rest of Sam's life.

"People Helping People" is devoted to extraordinary works performed by
organizations on the Lower Shore. Mitzi Perdue is a free-lance writer
and businesswoman who lives in Salisbury
http://www.dailytimesonline.com/news...ws/339188.html

Defend your civil liberties! Get information at http://www.aclu.org, become a member at http://www.aclu.org/join and get active at http://www.aclu.org/action.