My son's hampster died.

Well, we had him put down because he had a tumor. My wife was at work
and I had to deal with telling my 4 year old. Some people said to
lie, buy another hamster and make the switch.. others just said let
him deal with it. I didn't know what to do but we got through it okay.
He cried a little.. hell, I cried a little because of his reaction.
But then he helped me bury him outside and all seems to be well. My
son made be put a piece of candy in the box and before he buried him,
he asked if he could draw a picture for Joey. I thought it was pretty
sweet and so he did that. We put it in the box, he kissed the box and
he helped me bury it. He picked out a bright white rock as a marker
and then that was that. He's asked me a few times why Joey had to go
to hamster heaven. Did I do the right thing here? I sometimes wish
kids came with instructions. =)

--Chamberlin

In my opinion you did the right thing. First of all kids are smart. They
can tell when something has been changed. Second of all Kids need to see
all sides of life and that includes death. The death of a pet can easily be
covered up but what do you do later when something happens to a person? Now
you can remind him of how he acted when he lost this hampster and that he
will move on with memories..

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04
"jbrianchamberlin" wrote in message
...

Well, we had him put down because he had a tumor. My wife was at work
and I had to deal with telling my 4 year old. Some people said to
lie, buy another hamster and make the switch.. others just said let
him deal with it. I didn't know what to do but we got through it okay.
He cried a little.. hell, I cried a little because of his reaction.
But then he helped me bury him outside and all seems to be well. My
son made be put a piece of candy in the box and before he buried him,
he asked if he could draw a picture for Joey. I thought it was pretty
sweet and so he did that. We put it in the box, he kissed the box and
he helped me bury it. He picked out a bright white rock as a marker
and then that was that. He's asked me a few times why Joey had to go
to hamster heaven. Did I do the right thing here? I sometimes wish
kids came with instructions. =)

--Chamberlin

I think you did just the right thing. RIP Joey.
You could explain to him that little animals have little lives and a much
shorter time here than we do. Maybe he can pick out a new hammie soon?


"jbrianchamberlin" wrote in message
...

Well, we had him put down because he had a tumor. My wife was at work
and I had to deal with telling my 4 year old. Some people said to
lie, buy another hamster and make the switch.. others just said let
him deal with it. I didn't know what to do but we got through it okay.
He cried a little.. hell, I cried a little because of his reaction.
But then he helped me bury him outside and all seems to be well. My
son made be put a piece of candy in the box and before he buried him,
he asked if he could draw a picture for Joey. I thought it was pretty
sweet and so he did that. We put it in the box, he kissed the box and
he helped me bury it. He picked out a bright white rock as a marker
and then that was that. He's asked me a few times why Joey had to go
to hamster heaven. Did I do the right thing here? I sometimes wish
kids came with instructions. =)

--Chamberlin

On Tue, 18 May 2004 18:03:53 -0400, jbrianchamberlin
wrote:

Well, we had him put down because he had a tumor. My wife was at work
and I had to deal with telling my 4 year old. Some people said to
lie, buy another hamster and make the switch.. others just said let
him deal with it. I didn't know what to do but we got through it okay.
He cried a little.. hell, I cried a little because of his reaction.
But then he helped me bury him outside and all seems to be well. My
son made be put a piece of candy in the box and before he buried him,
he asked if he could draw a picture for Joey. I thought it was pretty
sweet and so he did that. We put it in the box, he kissed the box and
he helped me bury it. He picked out a bright white rock as a marker
and then that was that. He's asked me a few times why Joey had to go
to hamster heaven. Did I do the right thing here? I sometimes wish
kids came with instructions. =)

--Chamberlin

Hey, haven't seen you around these parts much :-)

It sounds like you did the right thing for him. I think kids are
capable of handling much more than we give them credit for.

We had to deal with this issue with our 4 yo as well.
Our cat passed away during the night, while giving birth. In order
not to traumatize my daughter we dealt with her remains before my
daughter woke up... I was pregnant at the time and didn't want her to
equate having a baby with death, iykwim!
But we did the same and explained "lovey" was gone, and we had a
little service for her.
She asks about lovey now and then.

Nan

On Tue, 18 May 2004 19:27:45 -0400, jbrianchamberlin
wrote:

On Tue, 18 May 2004 17:52:33 -0500, Nan wrote:

Hey, haven't seen you around these parts much :-)

I used to post on here but haven't for quite some time. We've got a
bigger house and a 6 month old daughter. All that AND trying to stay
in shape with working out and mountain biking... I have NO time. =)

I remember you from way back when :-)
We have a new one around, as well... so I know how time can be gobbled
up. Luckily she enjoys our sling so I can post while holding her :-)

Nan

On Tue, 18 May 2004 17:52:33 -0500, Nan wrote:

On Tue, 18 May 2004 18:03:53 -0400, jbrianchamberlin
wrote:

Well, we had him put down because he had a tumor. My wife was at work
and I had to deal with telling my 4 year old. Some people said to
lie, buy another hamster and make the switch.. others just said let
him deal with it. I didn't know what to do but we got through it okay.
He cried a little.. hell, I cried a little because of his reaction.
But then he helped me bury him outside and all seems to be well. My
son made be put a piece of candy in the box and before he buried him,
he asked if he could draw a picture for Joey. I thought it was pretty
sweet and so he did that. We put it in the box, he kissed the box and
he helped me bury it. He picked out a bright white rock as a marker
and then that was that. He's asked me a few times why Joey had to go
to hamster heaven. Did I do the right thing here? I sometimes wish
kids came with instructions. =)

--Chamberlin

Hey, haven't seen you around these parts much :-)

It sounds like you did the right thing for him. I think kids are
capable of handling much more than we give them credit for.

We had to deal with this issue with our 4 yo as well.
Our cat passed away during the night, while giving birth. In order
not to traumatize my daughter we dealt with her remains before my
daughter woke up... I was pregnant at the time and didn't want her to
equate having a baby with death, iykwim!
But we did the same and explained "lovey" was gone, and we had a
little service for her.
She asks about lovey now and then.

Nan

I used to post on here but haven't for quite some time. We've got a
bigger house and a 6 month old daughter. All that AND trying to stay
in shape with working out and mountain biking... I have NO time. =)

--Brian

On Tue, 18 May 2004 17:23:17 -0500, "Tori M."
wrote:

In my opinion you did the right thing. First of all kids are smart. They
can tell when something has been changed. Second of all Kids need to see
all sides of life and that includes death. The death of a pet can easily be
covered up but what do you do later when something happens to a person? Now
you can remind him of how he acted when he lost this hampster and that he
will move on with memories..

Tori

My son seems to be doing well. My wife is out with him now buying the
latest Veggie Tales video to cheer him up. I only hope he doesn't
come home wanting to kill the cat so he can get another gift. =)

--Brian

"jbrianchamberlin" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 18 May 2004 17:23:17 -0500, "Tori M."
wrote:

In my opinion you did the right thing. First of all kids are smart.
They
can tell when something has been changed. Second of all Kids need to see
all sides of life and that includes death. The death of a pet can easily
be
covered up but what do you do later when something happens to a person?
Now
you can remind him of how he acted when he lost this hampster and that he
will move on with memories..

Tori

My son seems to be doing well. My wife is out with him now buying the
latest Veggie Tales video to cheer him up. I only hope he doesn't
come home wanting to kill the cat so he can get another gift. =)

--Brian

Well I hope so to. I would think you would need a little councelling to get
over a cat killing spree

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04

On Tue, 18 May 2004, Tori M. wrote:

In my opinion you did the right thing. First of all kids are smart. They
can tell when something has been changed. Second of all Kids need to see
all sides of life and that includes death. The death of a pet can easily be
covered up but what do you do later when something happens to a person? Now
you can remind him of how he acted when he lost this hampster and that he
will move on with memories..


Absolutely. I can't imagine having handled it any other way.

I grew up on a ranch and learned early that death is a part of... life.
I had a "graveyard" at the end of my playhouse. Several domestic pets
were buried there. If not their remains then some memento of them....
Mementos served for the larger animals I'd been particularly attached
to as well. For example, when my own personal sheep died, I buried
a baggie of her wool. My father built a little cross for each
soul laid to rest there and I planted morning glories and sunflowers.

jbrianchamberlin wrote in message . ..
Well, we had him put down because he had a tumor. My wife was at work
and I had to deal with telling my 4 year old. Some people said to
lie, buy another hamster and make the switch.. others just said let
him deal with it. I didn't know what to do but we got through it okay.
He cried a little.. hell, I cried a little because of his reaction.
But then he helped me bury him outside and all seems to be well. My
son made be put a piece of candy in the box and before he buried him,
he asked if he could draw a picture for Joey. I thought it was pretty
sweet and so he did that. We put it in the box, he kissed the box and
he helped me bury it. He picked out a bright white rock as a marker
and then that was that. He's asked me a few times why Joey had to go
to hamster heaven. Did I do the right thing here? I sometimes wish
kids came with instructions. =)

You did fine. I think the best policy is to be honest with children,
even with painful subjects. And kids can be remarkably angry when
they catch parents lying - especially when we are so scrupulous about
them being truthful.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01