11 month old SCREAMING baby--- What to do?!?!

Hello,

My wife and I have an 11-month-old boy. About 2 months ago he started
to scream occasionally, which we thought was kind of cute. It was a
happy scream, or at least not a bawling-his-head-off unhappy scream.
Well, since then it has gotten so much worse that it is driving us
crazy. If we are directly interacting with him, then he won't scream as
much, but if we leave him for a moment, still within visible range, he
screams and screams as if he is showing off his VERY POWERFUL voice. We
have tried saying "No" firmly, gently pinching his cheek, flicking his
nose, but all have no effect. Trying to get him into some Teletubbies
videos, but we don't want to deal with this problem by plonking him
down in front of the television. Although if it stopped the
screaming...

Does anyone have any suggestions for us? I am converned for my wife's
sanity who is caring for him all day.

Thanks,
Marcus

wrote:

Hello,

My wife and I have an 11-month-old boy. About 2 months ago he started
to scream occasionally, which we thought was kind of cute. It was a
happy scream, or at least not a bawling-his-head-off unhappy scream.
Well, since then it has gotten so much worse that it is driving us
crazy. If we are directly interacting with him, then he won't scream as
much, but if we leave him for a moment, still within visible range, he
screams and screams as if he is showing off his VERY POWERFUL voice. We
have tried saying "No" firmly, gently pinching his cheek, flicking his
nose, but all have no effect. Trying to get him into some Teletubbies
videos, but we don't want to deal with this problem by plonking him
down in front of the television. Although if it stopped the
screaming...

Does anyone have any suggestions for us? I am converned for my wife's
sanity who is caring for him all day.


Why should he stop? You give him attention every time he does
it. If he's not hurt, wet, or whatever, ignore the screaming.

Laura

wrote:
Hello,

My wife and I have an 11-month-old boy. About 2 months ago he started
to scream occasionally, which we thought was kind of cute. It was a
happy scream, or at least not a bawling-his-head-off unhappy scream.
Well, since then it has gotten so much worse that it is driving us
crazy. If we are directly interacting with him, then he won't scream as
much, but if we leave him for a moment, still within visible range, he
screams and screams as if he is showing off his VERY POWERFUL voice. We
have tried saying "No" firmly, gently pinching his cheek, flicking his
nose, but all have no effect. Trying to get him into some Teletubbies
videos, but we don't want to deal with this problem by plonking him
down in front of the television. Although if it stopped the
screaming...

Two things come to mind:

1) Kids are very smart. In all likelihood, if he's doing
more screaming, he's doing it because it is paying off
for him in some way. I suspect he's very successful at
getting attention when he does this--even if it's just
negative attention.

2) It's not uncommon for them to go through a lot of
separation anxiety at this age. He may be quite
legitimately distressed if left alone. This will
generally pass with time.

Some of it might just be him enjoying his voice, too.
Still, while I understand that it's frustrating, it's
just noise. It won't kill you ;-) Try to take a step
back from the initial overwhelming impression and try
to figure out where it's coming from. What is he
trying to say? If he's looking for attention, ask
yourself if he's been getting the attention he needs.
When kids go through these clingy stages, it's very
common (and understandable) to get into a pattern of
constantly brushing the kid off and hoping you'll get
a moment's peace. You *feel* like you're paying
attention to them all the time, but maybe you really
aren't giving them all that much *real* attention.
Sometimes you can improve things by really focusing
on them at certain times so that they really feel
like they're getting attention, and then seeing if
you can distract them with something else for a little
while. If it's just one of those clingy phases where
they need you all the time, you just try to find a
way to survive the phase and know that they'll become
more independent soon.

Look very carefully into the possibility that
he's got you trained to respond very promptly to
his screaming. If that's the case, you'll need to
retrain *him*. Not only do you have to make
screaming ineffective at getting your attention
(positive *or* negative attention), but you also
have to make some other behavior of his *successful*
at getting your attention.

Best wishes,
Ericka

wrote in
ups.com:

Hello,

My wife and I have an 11-month-old boy. About 2 months ago
he started to scream occasionally, which we thought was
kind of cute. It was a happy scream, or at least not a
bawling-his-head-off unhappy scream. Well, since then it
has gotten so much worse that it is driving us crazy. If we
are directly interacting with him, then he won't scream as
much, but if we leave him for a moment, still within
visible range, he screams and screams as if he is showing
off his VERY POWERFUL voice. We have tried saying "No"
firmly, gently pinching his cheek, flicking his nose, but
all have no effect. Trying to get him into some Teletubbies
videos, but we don't want to deal with this problem by
plonking him down in front of the television. Although if
it stopped the screaming...

Does anyone have any suggestions for us? I am converned for
my wife's sanity who is caring for him all day.

well, for one thing he's a baby, not a dog, so knock off the
pinching & nose bopping (unless you *want* a toddler that
pinches & hits...)
next, learn to ignore. earplugs are helpful at this stage.
when he screams, ignore him. completely. put him down or stop
interacting with him. say "no screaming" firmly. then ignore
him.
the reason he is screaming is because it gets attention. at
first you rewarded him by thinking it was "cute", & probably
smiling & laughing. so he screams more & louder because he
likes the attention. pinching his cheek & bopping his nose are
attention. might be negative to your mind, but it's a reaction
& that's what he wants.
expect things to escalate when you start ignoring the
behavior. but don't give up! it may take a week or two, but if
you are completely consistant about ignoring him when he
screams, he should stop.

lee
--
Question with boldness even the existence of god; because if
there be
one, he must more approve the homage of reason than that of
blindfolded
fear. - Thomas Jefferson

Attend to his needs, then turn the stereo on and drown out the
screaming. Also keep in mind that I don't know what I'm talking about.
My baby is still quietly on the inside.

enigma wrote:
well, for one thing he's a baby, not a dog, so knock off the
pinching & nose bopping


sigh And don't pinch or nose-bop a dog, either.

-L.

We had one of those around the same age. It is really grating isn't it.
At first I thought he would understand when I told him 'no William' but
he just looked at me like 'ah, I've got your attention, good, I'll do
it some more' and did. It was usually when he couldn't reach a toy
under a table or was just getting a bit tired and grumpy. Pretty quick
we realised this wasn't going to work (my sister laughed loudly when I
told her our approach) and so we just checked he was ok (ie not hurt or
anything) and ignored him. He kept it up for a week or so and then
finally gave up. Haven't had a scream since. His seperation anxiety is
different because he just starts crying, so we have found 'find the
cat' in his book works well when we are trying to get his lunch ready
in the mornings. He loves his books so we keep two or three by the gate
between the hall and the kitchen. He can see we are the there and he
can interact with us by talking and pointing about pictures in his
books. Our kitchen as it is currently isn't safe as it has hard tiles
on the floor and a lot of open shelving. When it's redone we will be
happier with him in there but at the moment it's not safe so we have
developed ways to keep him occupied. A small book works well in the car
too.

Jeni

"-L." wrote in
oups.com:


enigma wrote:
well, for one thing he's a baby, not a dog, so knock off
the
pinching & nose bopping


sigh And don't pinch or nose-bop a dog, either.

well, yeah, but i was trying to make a point
um, i have nose bopped snakes on occaision, does that make
me evil? or does answering the phone with the Tokay still
attached to my finger (because jerking it out of his mouth
would hurt him) redeem me? i got blood all over...
lee
--
Question with boldness even the existence of god; because if
there be one, he must more approve the homage of reason than
that of blindfolded fear. - Thomas Jefferson

"-L." wrote in message
oups.com...

enigma wrote:
well, for one thing he's a baby, not a dog, so knock off the
pinching & nose bopping


sigh And don't pinch or nose-bop a dog, either.

-L.


What is a nose-bop?

"Stephanie" wrote in
news:KuuSg.1499$0Y2.1416@trndny09:


"-L." wrote in message
oups.com..
.

enigma wrote:
well, for one thing he's a baby, not a dog, so knock off
the
pinching & nose bopping


sigh And don't pinch or nose-bop a dog, either.

What is a nose-bop?

smacking the dog (or baby) on the nose, either with the flat
of your hand or flicking with a finger. dogs have really
sensitive noses & you can destroy a dog's sense of smell by
hitting the muzzle. it's a *very bad* thing to do.
that said, it should be obvious that hitting Fido with a
newspaper on the muzzle is even worse, or rubbing his nose in
an 'accident'. that won't help at all & makes for a very
unhappy dog.
lee rolling a dog should also be a last resort
--
Question with boldness even the existence of god; because if
there be
one, he must more approve the homage of reason than that of
blindfolded
fear. - Thomas Jefferson