My loving mother Yet another media strike against AP!

I posted this article a little over a week ago and guess what I got from my
mother the other day? She had clipped this article on the family bed and
slipped it into a bag of coupons and goodies for the kids!!!!!!

I had to check twice to see that she was not the Grandma who wrote the original
question. I guess not since 1) I only have 2 children and 2) we aren't trying
to force the older child sleep in his own room.

I wrote across it in thick marker "HA HA FUNNY!" and put it on the fridge where
she'll be sure to see it when she comes to visit next time.


In article , SupareX writes:

Of course, with Rosemond, it is no surprise that he has yet another article
against an AP tenet, but this one I think is bad. Grandma needs to mind her
own business. It's not the parents who are writing in complaining! Access
it at www.rosemond.com

July 8, 2003
John's Weekly Column: 07/08/2003
"The Family Bed"

by John Rosemond

Q: My 2-year-old grandson has slept with his parents since he was born, but
with the birth of a third child (he has a 4-year-old sister), he was moved to
a bed of his own in an adjoining room. Since he refuses to cooperate in the
new sleeping arrangements, either my son or daughter-in-law rocks him to
sleep, which might take an hour or more. Then, without fail, he wakes up in
the middle of the night and goes to his parents' bed where the new baby is
sleeping. The parents try to make him go back to his bed, but oftentimes, the
father goes to the other room to sleep. At other times, the 2-year-old wakes
up his older sister and together they wake up the entire house with their
shenanigans. What can a grandma do to help in a situation like this?



A: Let this be a lesson to all who are reading this that while the "family
bed" may seem warm and fuzzy, it often devolves into chaos of this sort. If
this 2-year-old had been trained to sleep in his own bed since birth, this
would not be happening. Assuming no other behavior problems had developed,
he'd be a well-adjusted child who was perfectly content with a room and a bed
of his own.

Despite the claims of "family bed" advocates, not one study done by an
objective researcher has demonstrated benefit in either the short- or
long-term to the children so bedded. The American Academy of Pediatrics
recommends against the practice, noting that infants are sometimes smothered
by parents who inadvertently roll over on them in the night or as a result of
getting tangled in king size sheets and blankets.

Rarely do I meet a father who has chosen to initiate this unnecessary
practice. It's nearly always the mother's call, and the mother in question is
almost invariably one who has bought into the propaganda that bedding with
her child promotes mother-child bonding. If the other moms in her social
group are bedding with their kids, she feels the additional pressure of not
wanting to be the most "un-bonded" mom in the neighborhood.

There are no two ways about it, a child who sleeps with his parents develops
a dependency upon sleeping with his parents, one that comes back to haunt all
concerned when the parents decide the child's presence in the bed has become
inconvenient.

Meanwhile, this child has been deprived of the inestimable benefit of
learning that he was not a member of the wedding, that the marriage is not a
threesome.

During my private practice years, I saw a lot of these kids. They were, as a
rule, not happy campers. The parents in the above question are obviously slow
learners as they're making the same mistake with the newborn.

What can Grandma do to help? She can say, "When you would like some
old-fashioned advice from an old-fashioned older woman who is obviously out
of step with the times, don't hesitate to ask." While she's waiting for her
son and daughter-in-law to come to their senses, she might consider cutting
this column out of her local paper and mailing it to her them in a plain
brown envelope, sans return address.



koa
Still nursing James, 02/06/01
EP'ing for Joey 04/02/03 (BCP)

"Karen Askey" wrote in message
...
I posted this article a little over a week ago and guess what I got from
my
mother the other day? She had clipped this article on the family bed and
slipped it into a bag of coupons and goodies for the kids!!!!!!

I had to check twice to see that she was not the Grandma who wrote the
original
question. I guess not since 1) I only have 2 children and 2) we aren't
trying
to force the older child sleep in his own room.

I wrote across it in thick marker "HA HA FUNNY!" and put it on the fridge
where
she'll be sure to see it when she comes to visit next time.

I always cringe when I read Ann Landers-type columnists suggest that someone
clip their own letter and give it to the person they're writing about. That
is *so* passive-aggressive, in my opinion. I'd be furious if someone did
that to me--more so if they originally wrote the letter, of course, but only
slightly less so if they didn't, but were using someone else's words to say
something they didn't have the courage to say.

IMHO, if you can't say it to my face, keep your yap shut altogether. And
even if you *can* say it to my face, if you think maybe you shouldn't
because it's none of your business, keep your yap shut as well. :-)

-Joy

"DGoree" skrev i en meddelelse
...
pamenot (Karen Askey) wrote,

I posted this article a little over a week ago and guess what I got from
my
mother the other day? She had clipped this article on the family bed and
slipped it into a bag of coupons and goodies for the kids!!!!!!


Oh, man. My mother isn't crazy about some of the things we do but at
least she
minds her own business.

Mine even sometimes say: You did better than I there. (eating habits,
nursing, whatever)

Tine