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Kids:staying alone



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 18th 05, 09:14 AM posted to misc.kids
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Default Kids:staying alone

At what age did you start leaving your children alone?
What about only children?
What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them?
What about coming home to an empty house after school?

For working out of the house parents:
What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and
what age are they?
What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations?

I suppose that this topic has been beaten to death...but it has all
been before my time. I have some feelings on all of these questions
but most of my thoughts are battling with each other.

I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been
contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say
no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that
my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm
covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long
weekends....

I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be
around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without
a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade
most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up
worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon.

And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single
parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary
caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life.
Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my
husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you
guys.

TIA

  #2  
Old November 18th 05, 12:50 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default Kids:staying alone

"MsLiz" wrote in message
At what age did you start leaving your children alone?


I have three kids 13, 10, and 8 (almost 9). I have left the 13-year-old
alone for short periods of time when she was 10-11 years old. The 10 and 8
yr old was left every morning last year for 20 minutes so I could take their
sister to school. The 10 and 8 yr old have been left alone for short periods
of time for about a year now. A couple of weeks ago, I left all three home
alone for a couple of hours in the evening so my husband and I could go get
something to eat. The 13-year-old is starting to babysit, so I really feel
she is responsible to be by herself.

What about only children?


My sister has an only and he is 10 and he is not left alone. He is ADHD and
is not responsible enough.

What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them?


If it is during the day, I have been gone for about 5 hours (had an
emergency). I left them at night for the first time and we were gone 2 hrs.

What about coming home to an empty house after school?


Yep, they have done that for short periods of time. If it was going to be a
situation that they had to do it everyday and I wasn't going to be home
until after working hours, I would make other arrangements for my 10 and
8-yr old. The 13-year-old could handle it, although she would get bored.

I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been
contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say
no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that
my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm
covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long
weekends....


I can't remember exactly how old your daughter is, but I do think that she
would be in the age range where I would try to find other arrangements on
the days off from school. After school might be different depending how long
the gap would be when she is alone.

I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be
around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without
a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade
most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up
worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon.


I share your belief. I guess that's why I work at home. ) I always kind
of chuckle when I hear moms say that they will go back to work when school
starts. IMO, thats when the kids need us the most and they have way too many
days off, 1/2 days and vacations to warrant me trying to work out of the
house. I don't make that much to have outside care for them during those
times. So you have to ask yourself if you don't want your daughter home
alone during these times, is there a friend (who has a parent home) of hers
that would be willing to take her during those times?

And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single
parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary
caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life.
Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my
husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you
guys.


I am a career-minded person, so I probably would take it. I think though
that the job prospect would have to be really flexible and understanding. I
am sorry your husband wasn't too supportive for you. Give me some more
details, like what type of job, how old your daughter is and perhaps I can
give some more detailed help.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)


  #3  
Old November 18th 05, 01:54 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default Kids:staying alone



MsLiz wrote:
At what age did you start leaving your children alone?


When my daughter was 8, I started leaving her at home alone long enough
for something like a trip to the grocery store (probably an hour.) One
factor in being willing to do that was that we lived in a neighborhood
where a lot of the neighbors happened to work at home, so it would have
been very unusual for her not to have been able to find an adult quickly
if necessary.

What about only children?


Not sure what you mean. She's not an only child but I wouldn't leave
her (now 9.5) in charge of her little brother.

What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them?


I'd be willing to leave her for 2-3 hours now.

What about coming home to an empty house after school?

If she were a little older, this would probably be OK - but I wouldn't
want her to be alone there for hours. I mean, if she were coming home
at 3:30 and I was getting home at 4:30, I wouldn't see a problem.

Clisby

For working out of the house parents:
What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and
what age are they?
What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations?

I suppose that this topic has been beaten to death...but it has all
been before my time. I have some feelings on all of these questions
but most of my thoughts are battling with each other.

I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been
contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say
no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that
my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm
covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long
weekends....

I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be
around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without
a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade
most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up
worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon.

And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single
parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary
caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life.
Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my
husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you
guys.

TIA

  #4  
Old November 18th 05, 02:00 PM posted to misc.kids
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Posts: n/a
Default Kids:staying alone


"MsLiz" wrote in message
oups.com...
At what age did you start leaving your children alone?
What about only children?
What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them?
What about coming home to an empty house after school?


My oldest is 10, and I have just started leaving her for short
periods -- that is, for 20 minutes or so while I'm gone to the
local grocery or the post office. I would not let her come
home to an empty house every day after school.

This is a question that has no good answer. It all depends
on your situation and how responsible your daughter is. You
might want to call your local child protective services and ask
their advice.

For working out of the house parents:
What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and
what age are they?
What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations?


I worked for a while. Both kids (10 and 7) were in after school
care. One of us took off if they were going to be out of school.
But our school district does offer child care through the regular
after school program for half days and holidays.

I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been
contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say
no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that
my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm
covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long
weekends....

I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be
around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without
a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade
most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up
worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon.


If I had a choice between staying part-time during school hours, and
going full-time, I think I'd choose to stay part-time. But that's me.
And if you are concerned about your future -- e.g. thinking that you
may need to be your sole support sometime in the not-too-distant
future, then going full-time might be a wise decision. But consider
this -- if you experiment with it and decide it's not working for you,
it would look worse to take the job and quit it than not to take it
at all.

And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single
parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary
caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life.
Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my
husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you
guys.


Good luck in whatever you decide.

Bizby


  #5  
Old November 18th 05, 02:35 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default Kids:staying alone

MsLiz wrote:
At what age did you start leaving your children alone?
What about only children?
What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them?
What about coming home to an empty house after school?


First things first, check and see what your
community's policies are. A couple of states have
(vague) laws. Most communities have some sort of
standard that law enforcement uses as a guideline.
You don't want to be on the wrong side of that
guideline, and they can vary quite a bit.

I will leave my 8yo alone briefly (e.g.,
while I run to school to get the other one, which
is about a 10-15 minute round trip, max, with my
mother next door). I'll leave my 10yo a bit longer.
I wouldn't feel comfortable having either of them
come home to an empty house on a regular basis or
stay home alone all day on school vacations.

I'm very conservative about this, personally.
I think the need to not have them home alone after
school increases as they get older, so my goal has
been to structure my work so that I don't have to
do that on any sort of regular basis. I have it
pretty easy, though, with my mom next door and a
flexible job I do mostly from home.

For working out of the house parents:
What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and
what age are they?
What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations?


One of the popular programs around here is a
martial arts program that provides after school care
(including on school days that aren't regular holidays)
and camps during summer break. They give the kids
supervised time to do homework and they have a martial
arts lesson each day. Obviously, the kids make pretty
incredible progress ;-) I don't know to what age they
continue this program.
When it comes to the longer breaks, there are
usually camps even for older kids.

I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been
contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say
no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that
my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm
covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long
weekends....


Is there any chance of negotiating a part time
position that allows you to be home when you need to be
home? Or maybe a position where you could work from home
for those hours/days? Since you already have a working
relationship with this agency, you have a decent chance
of doing that. I work part time, so I don't get benefits
and the company saves quite a bit of money that way on
a service they'd normally have to pay a lot more for.
But, even though I'm part time, they have nearly full
time availability to me because they can call anytime
and I'll arrange to come in anytime. It's a pretty
good deal for them.

Best wishes,
Ericka
  #6  
Old November 18th 05, 03:05 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default Kids:staying alone


"MsLiz" wrote in message
oups.com...
At what age did you start leaving your children alone?
What about only children?
What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them?
What about coming home to an empty house after school?

Mine aren't at that age yet. (Actually I did leave them for nearly a minute
while I posted a letter-the post box is just over the road. It was pouring
with rain and they were both under the weather)
I'd ask how happy she would be to be left alone. I always hated being alone,
so I tended to avoid it and I don't think I was left alone until I was
13-14ish for more than 30 minutes say. My sister didn't mind as much and
would rather stay at home, so she was left from about 10-11ish.
I still don't like coming into a dark empty house so if she's coming back to
a dark house I'd set a light on a timer for her. And I'd get an emergency
number of a friend who lives locally that she can phone and get to come
round if something's happened. (like one time I arrived back to find that
I'd left the door on the latch so I asked a neighbour to stand by the door
with the children while I checked no one had come in)
Debbie


  #7  
Old November 18th 05, 03:28 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default Kids:staying alone

On 18 Nov 2005 00:14:41 -0800, "MsLiz" wrote:
At what age did you start leaving your children alone?
What about only children?
What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them?
What about coming home to an empty house after school?


I've been thinking about this myself. I tried searching for the laws
in my state but couldn't find a thing. I was staying home alone
starting when I was around 6 or 7, for a few minutes at a time or
after school if my mom hadn't made it home yet. By the time I was 8/9
I was staying for a few hours each Friday night. My brother was 5
years younger than me and stayed with me by the time I was 8 or 9.
My girls are 10, 8.5 and 3. The only time they've ever been alone, was
one night when dh's car was ran off the road about half a mile away
from the house, the oldest and youngest child were asleep so I set my
middle daughter up on my yahoo messenger to chat with my mother in law
while he hooked his car to mine and drove back home, it was maybe 10
minutes. Other than that they have not been left alone. I've been
wanting to occasionally but I worry. I would NOT leave the 3 year old
here but I think I could safely leave the other two.
Oh I have gone at night after dh and the youngest are asleep, and the
older two are awake and reading or watching tv. They said they feel
alone, does that count? lol They do just fine when I do. Now that I
have a cellphone I feel better about the whole thing.

Marie
  #8  
Old November 18th 05, 05:03 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default Kids:staying alone


"MsLiz" wrote in message
oups.com...
At what age did you start leaving your children alone?
What about only children?
What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them?
What about coming home to an empty house after school?


My boys are 16, 12, and (almost) 8 . At this point, they can all be home
alone for a full day , if they happen to all have a day off from school
(they all go to different schools). We first let them stay home alone about
2 years ago, for a couple hours at a time. I have no experience with only
children (well, my niece is an only, she is 10, but my brother is a musician
who works nights a lot).



For working out of the house parents:
What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and
what age are they?



I increased to full time when the youngest went to 1st grade (last year) .
16 yr old gets home at 2:50, 12 yr old at 3:25, and 8 yr old at 3:50. I get
home at 5: 15. They're fine. They eat, watch tv, do homework, chat on AIM
(which I might log onto just to say hi to them). I'm 10 minutes away , DH
works 5 minutes away from home (he goes home for lunch most days), and they
certainly know how to use the phone!


What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations?


Take a day off, or DH does, or I call my mom. My mom watched the youngest
all summer , but she also had my brothers' kids. The 12-yr-old didn't want
to go to Grandmas, so he and the 16-yr-old were home for the summer. My
boss's wife is a retired school principal so he's really nice about me
taking off for school activities and holidays.



I suppose that this topic has been beaten to death...but it has all
been before my time. I have some feelings on all of these questions
but most of my thoughts are battling with each other.

I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been
contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say
no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that
my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm
covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long
weekends....

I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be
around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without
a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade
most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up
worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon.

And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single
parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary
caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life.
Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my
husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you
guys.

TIA



  #9  
Old November 18th 05, 06:30 PM posted to misc.kids
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Posts: n/a
Default Kids:staying alone


"dejablues" wrote in message
news:KXmff.23$kw2.19@trnddc05...
I suppose that this topic has been beaten to death...but it has all
been before my time. I have some feelings on all of these questions
but most of my thoughts are battling with each other.

I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been
contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say
no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that
my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm
covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long
weekends....

I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be
around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without
a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade
most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up
worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon.


I hit send too fast before.
I'm all about giving kids increased responsibilities and the trust that goes
along with them. My boys have a fair amount of responsibility in the family
with regards to the daily running of the household and that includes knowing
what to do, in some cases working from my lists, and getting stuff done when
I'm not there. I was in charge of my three younger brothers after school
from the time I was about 12 - my mom worked PT but her hours were mostly in
the late afternoon/early evening. Not that they always listened to me,
though ;-).

Every kid is different, though, and only you know what your daughter is
like.




And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single
parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary
caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life.
Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my
husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you
guys.

TIA





  #10  
Old November 18th 05, 07:48 PM posted to misc.kids
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Posts: n/a
Default Kids:staying alone

MsLiz wrote:
At what age did you start leaving your children alone?
What about only children?
What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them?
What about coming home to an empty house after school?

For working out of the house parents:
What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and
what age are they?
What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations?

I suppose that this topic has been beaten to death...but it has all
been before my time. I have some feelings on all of these questions
but most of my thoughts are battling with each other.

I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been
contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say
no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that
my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm
covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long
weekends....

I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be
around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without
a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade
most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up
worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon.

And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single
parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary
caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life.
Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my
husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you
guys.

TIA

 




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