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Time Article - What Teachers Hate about Parents (x-posted)
toto wrote:
Any anecdotes? A friend of my sister was teaching in an inner city school in Baltimore some years ago. She asked a parent to come in for a conference because one of her students was not making an effort to learn to read. The parent totally did not see why she was upset. "But," protested my sister's friend, "he will need to learn to read to get a job." "Why? He can just go on welfare like the rest of us." was the response. I had a parent come in and complain about the fact that I saw her son running to school in the morning (instead of taking the bus), and did not call and tell her. (This was 6th grade in middle school.) He wasn't even in my homeroom. The same parent complained because I asked the kids to do a weather instrument as a project at home, and I gave them instruction sheets with several different ones on it (one of which was a rain gauge which consisted only of an open topped can or container with markings on the side). The child evidently decided to do one which required a half gallon milk carton and a broom straw. The mom 'had to' get a half gallon of milk when she normally got gallons, and 'had to' go out and buy a broom. I have several, but the one that is pertinent he A parent came to the school with a complaint about homework in geometry class. Parent said "If he can't get his work done in school, he won't do it at home. It cuts into my quality time with my son if he has homework to do." You have to subscribe to Time Magazine (or go to the library to get the whole article). I read it in print. http://www.time.com/time/covers/1101050221/story.html Parents Behaving Badly Inside the new classroom power struggle: What teachers say about pushy moms and dads who drive them crazy By NANCY GIBBS Posted Sunday, February 13, 2005 If you could walk past the teachers' lounge and listen in, what sorts of stories would you hear? An Iowa high school counselor gets a call from a parent protesting the C her child received on an assignment. "The parent argued every point in the essay," recalls the counselor, who soon realized why the mother was so upset about the grade. "It became apparent that she'd written it." A sixth-grade teacher in California tells a girl in her class that she needs to work on her reading at home, not just in school. "Her mom came in the next day," the teacher says, "and started yelling at me that I had emotionally upset her child." grandma Rosalie |
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"toto" wrote in message news Any anecdotes? Many!!! A mom once burst into my Grade 11 English class to berate my teacher about a mark her son had recieved. Aparently a B isn't good enough and her son couldn't possibly be that stupid, and the teacher was obviously being stubborn and should give him an A. Her son sank under the table to hide. |
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toto wrote in message
news Any anecdotes? [snip] Not from teachers but one I witnessed at a district meeting with PTA leaders. The topic of quantity over quality has become a major issue within our district. Some parents want their kids studying morning to late into the night; others are a little more sensible about amounts. Teachers try and accommodate both but have begun being flooded by page-after-ream from a minority of parents. The two extreme POVs were in this meeting, almost across the tables from each other. Parent I'm-shooting-for-Harvard-and-he-NEEDS-make-work volleyed, "There are just too many minutes where my child doesn't have any schoolwork. He is going to go to Harvard Business so he needs more homework." "Yeah? My child's not going to Harvard and is doing an hour in each subject per day. He has six classes and three electives; you do the math." "Don't you help him?" "You bet. Anytime he has to color a map, write an essay, or research a topic, I make sure his homework is done." I sat there but common sense got the better of me, "So you're doing his geography, English, and science reports for him?" "Why not? They're nothing more than an attempt to appease [waves at other parent] them..." "Because he's not learning anything! Are you going to go to college with him, too?!" The more she opened her mouth, the more I became convinced her son had never done one page of homework, let alone earned any of _his_ grades. The Ranger |
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"toto" wrote in message news Any anecdotes? I have several, but the one that is pertinent he A parent came to the school with a complaint about homework in geometry class. Parent said "If he can't get his work done in school, he won't do it at home. It cuts into my quality time with my son if he has homework to do." You have to subscribe to Time Magazine (or go to the library to get the whole article). I read it in print. http://www.time.com/time/covers/1101050221/story.html Parents Behaving Badly Inside the new classroom power struggle: What teachers say about pushy moms and dads who drive them crazy By NANCY GIBBS Posted Sunday, February 13, 2005 If you could walk past the teachers' lounge and listen in, what sorts of stories would you hear? An Iowa high school counselor gets a call from a parent protesting the C her child received on an assignment. "The parent argued every point in the essay," recalls the counselor, who soon realized why the mother was so upset about the grade. "It became apparent that she'd written it." A sixth-grade teacher in California tells a girl in her class that she needs to work on her reading at home, not just in school. "Her mom came in the next day," the teacher says, "and started yelling at me that I had emotionally upset her child." -- Dorothy No but I have a major school rant. I hope this doesn't offend any teacher types. This occurred today. The school my dd goes to is lame on parents. They have stated that overall there is a few that parents will complain or not be supportive. They are just afraid to engage parents. They need help. They really need help in the classroom and in other areas like the playground. I can understand why they overall fear parents. Some of the stuff cited here in posts. Some parents can be tough. But here I am and there are a few other parents as well who are really wanting to help. Really great parents. WE are begging them to let us help out. (Someone on the school board had the nerve to say to my face that there are no parents who want to volunteer. At the time I thought maybe I was in the minority but I am by and far not. Several of us are practically begging and very proactive to be involved in our childrens education) So anyhow finally last week I get a call to come and work with a student in 2nd grade. He is one of the youngest 2nd graders and while he is smart he lacks the attention span at times to keep up. With 25 students in the class the teacher had trouble staying with him and taking care of all the other students during a lesson. So finally she asked for help. Principal calls me (and there are a few other parents involved as well for other days) to come by on friday for an hour and shadow him during the math section which is his hardest time of the day. So I go and I know two other parents as well did too. It is reported to me that this student did better this last week with us there just encouraging him to stay on task for 1 hour. Today I get a call. Don't come again. Although it is helping the student I'm sorry but your presence in the classroom is bothering the new student teacher who states she can't teach while you are there because other adults in the classroom make her nervous. The other two parents got the same call. Personally I find this absolutely ridiculous. Anni |
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Mermaid wrote: "toto" wrote in message news Any anecdotes? I have several, but the one that is pertinent he A parent came to the school with a complaint about homework in geometry class. Parent said "If he can't get his work done in school, he won't do it at home. It cuts into my quality time with my son if he has homework to do." You have to subscribe to Time Magazine (or go to the library to get the whole article). I read it in print. http://www.time.com/time/covers/1101050221/story.html Parents Behaving Badly Inside the new classroom power struggle: What teachers say about pushy moms and dads who drive them crazy By NANCY GIBBS Posted Sunday, February 13, 2005 If you could walk past the teachers' lounge and listen in, what sorts of stories would you hear? An Iowa high school counselor gets a call from a parent protesting the C her child received on an assignment. "The parent argued every point in the essay," recalls the counselor, who soon realized why the mother was so upset about the grade. "It became apparent that she'd written it." A sixth-grade teacher in California tells a girl in her class that she needs to work on her reading at home, not just in school. "Her mom came in the next day," the teacher says, "and started yelling at me that I had emotionally upset her child." -- Dorothy No but I have a major school rant. I hope this doesn't offend any teacher types. This occurred today. The school my dd goes to is lame on parents. They have stated that overall there is a few that parents will complain or not be supportive. They are just afraid to engage parents. They need help. They really need help in the classroom and in other areas like the playground. I can understand why they overall fear parents. Some of the stuff cited here in posts. Some parents can be tough. But here I am and there are a few other parents as well who are really wanting to help. Really great parents. WE are begging them to let us help out. (Someone on the school board had the nerve to say to my face that there are no parents who want to volunteer. At the time I thought maybe I was in the minority but I am by and far not. Several of us are practically begging and very proactive to be involved in our childrens education) So anyhow finally last week I get a call to come and work with a student in 2nd grade. He is one of the youngest 2nd graders and while he is smart he lacks the attention span at times to keep up. With 25 students in the class the teacher had trouble staying with him and taking care of all the other students during a lesson. So finally she asked for help. Principal calls me (and there are a few other parents involved as well for other days) to come by on friday for an hour and shadow him during the math section which is his hardest time of the day. So I go and I know two other parents as well did too. It is reported to me that this student did better this last week with us there just encouraging him to stay on task for 1 hour. Today I get a call. Don't come again. Although it is helping the student I'm sorry but your presence in the classroom is bothering the new student teacher who states she can't teach while you are there because other adults in the classroom make her nervous. The other two parents got the same call. Personally I find this absolutely ridiculous. Anni Yes, that is ridiculous. And I am a teacher type (well, child of teachers-turned-administrators, very pro-public education, all my mom's siblings are teachers, my brother's a teacher, etc, etc). Relatives of mine pulled their son out of grade 2 three weeks before x-mas, because they felt the school system had failed him/them. Apparently, his kindergarten, grade 1, and grade 2 teachers, and principal, all had insurmountable shortcomings (no two the same, though) - IIRC, the grade 1 teacher "did not command his respect." Clearly it was the school's fault that he was frequently in trouble and getting unsatisfactory reports. So now they're homeschooling. Scarily, this kid was socially a nightmare before starting public school, and just at the end of grade 1 and beginning of grade 2, I had started thinking, "wow, the boy's really made progress. He's actually pretty functional these days." I'm not against homeschooling, at all, just against this couple in particular doing it. Especially since the only normalizing social arena he's encountered appears to be public school. I shudder to think what's going to happen to him over the next few years, if they keep him at home. OTOH, I bet there are a bunch of teachers and a principal who are only too happy to see his parents' out the door. . . Melania Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003) and #2 (edd May 21, 2005) |
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"toto" wrote in message news Any anecdotes? I found that the parents just never stop and the children grow up into adults who expect people to do things *for* them. When I was in college, parents of a 16 year old genius (believe me, he needed no advocacy on his behalf) came to complain about his grades in a math class. Maybe because he wasn't the absolute standout in class? I don't know. He certainly was not threatened with failure, or even a B. In grad school, I had a mediocre student who thought 1) I would write a glowing letter of recommendation beause - well, I don't know, maybe because we were the same age? (I told him I couldn't); and 2) he would get into the doctoral program after I (and two faculty members) told him he probably didn't have a chance (I was also on the admissions committee). He honestly thought he would get into a PhD program just because he was a good guy; his lackluster grades and lack of focus were mere technicalities. Jeanne |
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"Mermaid" wrote in message ... So anyhow finally last week I get a call to come and work with a student in 2nd grade. He is one of the youngest 2nd graders and while he is smart he lacks the attention span at times to keep up. With 25 students in the class the teacher had trouble staying with him and taking care of all the other students during a lesson. So finally she asked for help. Principal calls me (and there are a few other parents involved as well for other days) to come by on friday for an hour and shadow him during the math section which is his hardest time of the day. So I go and I know two other parents as well did too. It is reported to me that this student did better this last week with us there just encouraging him to stay on task for 1 hour. Today I get a call. Don't come again. Although it is helping the student I'm sorry but your presence in the classroom is bothering the new student teacher who states she can't teach while you are there because other adults in the classroom make her nervous. The other two parents got the same call. Personally I find this absolutely ridiculous. That's because it is ridiculous on several levels - 1.)Student teachers get observed all the time, deal with it 2.) i can't believe the student teacher whined to the administration about this 3.) I can't believe the administration gave in to the whining at their admitted detriment to students BTW, I was a teacher before becoming a SAHM last year, and welcomed parents in my classroom anytime. -kim |
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*toto wrote:
* *Any anecdotes? A friend of mine teaches in a "good" school district in PA (which has produced such notables as Reggie Jackson, Dr. Michael Brown, and the Netanyahu brothers, not to mention ME ) but she still has problem parents. In particular, she has been horrified on more than one occasion to find notes in students' charts that teachers are NOT allowed to call parents to notify them of students' bad behavior or failure, because previous such calls have been temporally associated with subsequent prolonged absence of the student, or subsequent unexplained injury to the student!!! -- Hillary Israeli, VMD Lafayette Hill/PA/USA/Earth "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read." --Groucho Marx |
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On Wed, 23 Feb 2005 21:20:24 -0600, toto wrote:
Any anecdotes? We're not in that stage yet, but I really enjoyed the article. I had never thought of things very much, and it gave me a lot to think about. I'll definitely safe it for future reference. -- -- I mommy to DS (July '02) mommy to four tiny angels (28 Oct'03, 17 Feb'04, 20 May'04 & 28 Oct'04) preggers with twins EDD August'05 guardian of DH (33) |
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The Ranger wrote: toto wrote in message news Any anecdotes? "Yeah? My child's not going to Harvard and is doing an hour in each subject per day. He has six classes and three electives; you do the math." Okay, I don't want to say that it's legitimate to do your kid's homework, but if you have six subjects, an hour of homework in each is going to leave no time for anything in the child's life but schoolwork and sleep. Beth |
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