Push presents...?

That sounds pretty silly to me. The best present you can get from all the
pushing is your bundle of joy. Somebody just made that up in order to get
more expensive jewelry. Sad.

"Carla" wrote in message
...
Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to
me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a
couple of months ago.

Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their
wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.

My husband asked me what I might want...I'm not a big jewelry junkie
so I really don't know. hmmmm.....

Here's an article about it that's on Fox News website:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
'Push Presents' Expected From Expectant Fathers
By Catherine Donaldson-Evans

Men who thought their lavish-jewelry duties were over after they
purchased the engagement ring might get a shock when their babies are
born. That's when it's time to shop for the "push present.

But a bouquet of flowers won't usually cut it. Nowadays, many husbands
are expected to buy expensive presents to thank their wives for
dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.

The latest gift-giving occasion is just one more for men to add to
their list -- along with Valentine's Day (search), birthdays, holidays
and the all-important anniversary.

"My husband does not believe in jewelry, so I saw it as the perfect
opportunity to cash in on the whole societal pressure thing," laughed
Seattle mom Julie Leitner, 32, who got a white gold and diamond
bracelet in the $800-$1,500 price range when her daughter was born.

Push presents, which are usually jewelry but don't have to be, have
gained popularity in the last few years. Once one new mother gets such
a gift, her friends embrace the trend and pass the word on to their
hubbies.

"I'd been told by so many people that you're supposed to get one that
I just assumed it was the norm," said Leitner.

But many men are clueless about the concept. Some aren't even very
involved in buying the actual present.

"I wouldn't necessarily say the gift was from me," said Bruce Owen,
35, of Oakland, Calif. "[My wife] picked it out. She bought it. It was
more as if I didn't have a choice."

Owen said he didn't mind saying yes to the "baby bauble" -- a pair of
diamond-cluster earrings that cost a couple of thousand dollars --
when his 2 1/2-year-old daughter was born.

"I recognized the incredible sacrifice and difficulty of carrying a
baby for nine months," said the real estate professional.

The tradition of husbands giving their wives gifts to commemorate the
birth of a baby has some longstanding cultural roots. In England
(search), the man is expected to buy the woman an elegant ring. In
India (search), a husband bestows a set of gold jewelry upon his wife
-- offering more elaborate baubles for boy babies than girls. And
recently, some of those customs have made their way over to the U.S.

The British husband of Philadelphia mom Miryam Roddy was the one to
introduce her to the idea of birth jewelry after she had their
1-year-old daughter.

"That's the way things are done in England," said Roddy, 37, who got a
gold and diamond ring. "First he got me a rose with a little note. A
day or two later, he brought me the ring. It was such a surprise. I
didn't expect anything else."

Roddy balked at the notion of spending big money on baby baubles, and
even told her husband she hoped he hadn't dropped a bundle.

"To spend thousands of dollars on something is ridiculous," she said.
"In my mind, that's money better saved for the child's education."

Etiquette expert Pamela Holland said that unlike other gift-giving
situations, this one shouldn't have set guidelines.

"The standard is that there is no standard," she said. "It does make
sense to have etiquette around wedding or baby shower gifts because
you're inviting other people into it. But this is far too intimate to
have a rule."

In that vein, the push-present practice is passed along mainly by
word-of-mouth.

"There isn't a book or rule guide considered universal on the issue of
gift-giving at the birth of a child," said Holland. "It's like any
trend -- you hear of it, a wife mentions it to a husband and then it
gets spread down to generations."

Owen's wife, for instance, learned of the custom from her female
friends.

"It was a peer build-up with all the other ladies talking about this,"
said Owen. "It became, 'What did you get?' so obviously something had
to be done."

But the peer pressure isn't confined to groups of women. Men have also
been known to rib each other about push presents.

One New York City mom said that's what happened to her hedge-fund
analyst husband after their son was born.

"He was kind of hazed at work for not getting me anything," said the
32-year-old investment banker. "So he said, 'Do you want diamond
earrings or a weekend away?' I've never been a big jewelry person. I
picked a weekend away."

Not surprisingly, a couple's financial situation is a big factor in
deciding how to handle the push present. But budget aside, it's often
just a simple gesture of appreciation that really counts.

"My sister suggested [expensive jewelry], and I told her she was
nuts," said UPS driver Mike Compierchio, 36, of Verona, N.J., who has
a 7-month-old baby girl. "We didn't have the money to spend on some
extravagant gift. [My wife] thought it was a silly idea too. So I got
her flowers when she was in the hospital."

Aw....I am sure my husband would do this, but I really don't expect or even
want him to. I have never heard it called a push present-- but have heard of
the gift giving by the new dad before.

I really don't want my husband to do this. I DO want him to remember me on
Mother's day form now on though. I'm just so excited about having a baby,
and I want to be sure we get everything we need for the baby etc. I wouldn't
feel right him giving me jewelry for going through pregnancy and labor-- I
should give HIM something, for being right here with me! A healthy baby is
all I want. I couldn't have made the baby by myself, so he gave me that. My
husband gets me nice jewelry on my birthday, Valentine's Day, and Christmas,
and our anniversary.

JMO though. There is certainly nothing wrong with a so-called push present!
I DO think it would be nice for us each to give each other something special
to commemorate the birth of our baby....but just a small sentimental
something. I'd like to get him a special "Daddy" item.

Chotii wrote:
"Circe" wrote in message
news:2yt4c.22717$BA.11184@fed1read03...
Donna wrote:
If he's offering... why not take it? Even if you aren't a
jewellery person, it would be a heart-stopping wedding gift for
your daughter ("This is the bracelet that your father gave me on
the day you were born... sniff sniff).

If it's all the same to you, I'd rather have a Mazda Rx8 or,
better yet, an Audi TT...

Heh.

Considering what my poor husband has had to go through, supporting
me through multiple complicated pregnancies, I think he and I are
pretty much even. He owes me nothing.

I hear ya.

I didn't really have much trouble with L&D (I actually enjoyed giving birth,
unmedicated no less; I'd do it every few years if I didn't have to worry
about raising the result each time). And since I only pushed for a combined
total of 50 minutes to get three babies out, a sports car or even a piece of
jewelry (which I don't find particularly moving, anyway) seems rather like
overpayment for any service rendered by my giving birth to his children.

OTOH, if he *wants* to give me something pricey for any reason, he knows
what I like, and it ain't rocks g!
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [2] mom)

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

Puester wrote:
Carla wrote:

Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to
me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a
couple of months ago.

Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their
wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.




Sounds like another marketing ploy to me to get people
to spend even more money that they don't have. Does
Hallmark have a card for it yet? DId she get him an
exopensive gift for impregnating her? Jeezum!

There is actually a (very offensive IMHO) commercial for a diamond
company/jewelry shop (can't remember which one, de beers or something)
where the whole theme is some new father thanking his wife for giving
him a son by surprising her with diamonds. :P

_ says...

Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to
me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a
couple of months ago.

Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their
wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.

My husband asked me what I might want...I'm not a big jewelry junkie
so I really don't know. hmmmm.....

I've never heard it described as a "push present", but many women
receive gifts of love from their sig. others after delivering a baby.

Eternity rings might be presented ( as a triplicate to your engagement
and wedding rings ) - or maybe a bracelet, engraved or otherwise.

I know some people also get those braclets or necklaces that spell out
the baby's name.


--
Baby, I can't wait to meet you !
EDD: 10-Apr-2004

says...

I have never heard the term "push present" but I do know that it's not
unheard of for a husband to buy his wife a piece of jewelery to commemorate
the day.

If he's offering... why not take it? Even if you aren't a jewellery person,
it would be a heart-stopping wedding gift for your daughter ("This is the
bracelet that your father gave me on the day you were born... sniff
sniff).

Pregnancy makes me sentimental.

now you're making me tear up !


--
Baby, I can't wait to meet you !
EDD: 10-Apr-2004

says...

Yeah, doesn't seem all that necessary to me. If you're the sort of
couple that gets each other fancy gifts anyway, that's one thing. As
for me, I'll take a kiss, a bouquet of flowers, and my first rare
steak in months!

I think my husband is planning on surprising me with something.
We never buy each other gifts, don't *do* Valentine's Day etc .. and
we're both that goddamn particular, we like to buy our own things !

But if he does buy me something, i'm sure I will cry & love it for
sentimental reasons ( but boy, it had better be to my taste ! g )



--
Baby, I can't wait to meet you !
EDD: 10-Apr-2004

says...

Never heard of this myself. Sounds pretentious to me, but I generally
think blowing a bundle of money on jewelry is silly (don't get me
wrong...I've drooled over alot of custom designed and antique jewelry,
which is more my thing than a big rock...and I've seen the British
Crown Jewels twice).

I had to groan internally this past Christmas when my MIL "received"
huge diamond earrings from her husband. She acted all surprised and
excited even though she was with him pointing out which ones she
wanted before Christmas. She had the gall to ask how much they
were...she wanted to make sure they were the more expensive ones that
she wanted (which they weren't...which she complained about). And she
wonders why she's at retirement age, her mortgage isn't paid off, and
they can't afford to retire. Okay, that was mostly personal
gripe...sorry.

No - I agree. I too know people like this.
In one of our earliest, poorest Xmas'es, my DH ( then boyfriend ) bought
me an exxy pair of pearl earrings. I rarely wore earrings and thought
pearls a bit old-fashioned

I told him how much I loved them, but it was silly spending money we
didn't have, so we returned them and did something nice ( or bought
something nice - maybe a special dinner ? ) that we shared together.
I still like sharing a special meal on a special day. We often have a
champagne picnic on the loungeroom floor for our anniversary, which we
both adore


--
Baby, I can't wait to meet you !
EDD: 10-Apr-2004

says...

There is actually a (very offensive IMHO) commercial for a diamond
company/jewelry shop (can't remember which one, de beers or something)
where the whole theme is some new father thanking his wife for giving
him a son by surprising her with diamonds. :P

Traditionally, in a lot of cultures, women are more greatly 'rewarded'
for delivering the male of the species.

--
Baby, I can't wait to meet you !
EDD: 10-Apr-2004

"Circe" wrote in message
news:2yt4c.22717$BA.11184@fed1read03...
Donna wrote:
If he's offering... why not take it? Even if you aren't a
jewellery person, it would be a heart-stopping wedding gift for
your daughter ("This is the bracelet that your father gave me on
the day you were born... sniff sniff).

If it's all the same to you, I'd rather have a Mazda Rx8 or, better yet,
an
Audi TT...

LOL, Barbara. Wouldnt that be hard to wear on a chain around your neck
though, don't you think? bats eyes



Donna