anyone got any good jokes? Feeling a bit bitter today...

I could check out RHF, but I'm wondering if anyone here has any good
jokes to share. I just got robbed and I'm feeling rather bitchy,
bitter, and plain ****ed off. I could use a little cheering up. Don't
worry, the damage is minimal, but *emotionally*... I'm very very very
****ed off. This has happened to me before in this town. I wish we
could move away but DH doesn't want to drive, so he needs to be close
enough to use the bus. I don't know what's wrong with people these days.

"Vicky Bilaniuk" wrote in message
.. .
I could check out RHF, but I'm wondering if anyone here has any good
jokes to share. I just got robbed and I'm feeling rather bitchy,
bitter, and plain ****ed off. I could use a little cheering up. Don't
worry, the damage is minimal, but *emotionally*... I'm very very very
****ed off. This has happened to me before in this town. I wish we
could move away but DH doesn't want to drive, so he needs to be close
enough to use the bus. I don't know what's wrong with people these days.

Oh Vicky! That STINKS! Last July, a man walked through our front door
(which was open because of the heat) and grabbed my purse off the table and
ran off with it. He ended up getting caught and went to jail, but I still
don't have my $600.00 back! I think I know just how you feel...
Okay, here's my favorite joke:

Do you know why you shouldn't ever eat Jolly Green Giant Vegetables?

Because he always stands over the carrots and peas.... (say it out loud)

Hope you feel better,
Cheers,
Alexis

HOLY HECK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you were'nt home at the time were you?

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote in message
.. .
I could check out RHF, but I'm wondering if anyone here has any good
jokes to share. I just got robbed and I'm feeling rather bitchy,
bitter, and plain ****ed off. I could use a little cheering up. Don't
worry, the damage is minimal, but *emotionally*... I'm very very very
****ed off. This has happened to me before in this town. I wish we
could move away but DH doesn't want to drive, so he needs to be close
enough to use the bus. I don't know what's wrong with people these days.

We had an attempted break in on Sat. 4:30am. Phoned the police but he'd gone
before they came. Heck! This has one of the smallest crime rates in UK and
I'm still feeling rough (and scared). Dh did say that if they cased the
joint beforehand they must be stupid on what's worth stealing in our house
(anyone that'll take our 8yr old computer...?), and it's not the loss that
shook me up, but as you said it's the emotions.
hugs
Debbie

"Christine" wrote in message
...
HOLY HECK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you were'nt home at the time were you?


My DH was watching TV late at night, he was sitting where the perp couldn't
see him. I was upstairs sleeping. DH chased the perp, but the guy had a
bicycle waiting down the block and got away. DH had a good description,
though, and he was caught just a few minutes later by the sheriff. We were
lucky. No one got hurt, someone found my driver's license and brought it to
my house the next morning, and, while losing $600.00 was harsh, it didn't
break us.

Vicky,
What happened to you?????
Alexis

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 09:53:26 -0500, Vicky Bilaniuk
wrote:

I could check out RHF, but I'm wondering if anyone here has any good
jokes to share. I just got robbed and I'm feeling rather bitchy,
bitter, and plain ****ed off. I could use a little cheering up. Don't
worry, the damage is minimal, but *emotionally*... I'm very very very
****ed off. This has happened to me before in this town. I wish we
could move away but DH doesn't want to drive, so he needs to be close
enough to use the bus. I don't know what's wrong with people these days.

Poor Vicky! You've got a reason to be bitter and ****ed I would be
too!

Well hopefully you can get a chuckle or two and hopefully you haven't
heard all of them befo

When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?
After he eats his first brownie

How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy

What was Michael Jackson doing at Kmart?
He heard little boys pants were 1/2 off

:-)

Auntie Bubbles wrote:

"Vicky Bilaniuk" wrote in message
.. .

I could check out RHF, but I'm wondering if anyone here has any good
jokes to share. I just got robbed and I'm feeling rather bitchy,
bitter, and plain ****ed off. I could use a little cheering up. Don't
worry, the damage is minimal, but *emotionally*... I'm very very very
****ed off. This has happened to me before in this town. I wish we
could move away but DH doesn't want to drive, so he needs to be close
enough to use the bus. I don't know what's wrong with people these days.


Oh Vicky! That STINKS! Last July, a man walked through our front door
(which was open because of the heat) and grabbed my purse off the table and
ran off with it. He ended up getting caught and went to jail, but I still
don't have my $600.00 back! I think I know just how you feel...
Okay, here's my favorite joke:

Do you know why you shouldn't ever eat Jolly Green Giant Vegetables?

Because he always stands over the carrots and peas.... (say it out loud)

;-) ;-) Loved it. Thank you.

I'm feeling better at the moment because DH and I went out and had a
GREAT lunch with a FABULOUS cake for dessert. The cake was made by a
french pastry chef who gasp used real whipped cream. omg it was
soooooooooo good. I had a soup and salad before that and they were
great! This place is a five minute walk from our house, so I'm doomed.
It just opened up. They still have a few kinks to work out, but I'm
pretty optimistic about their being able to get it all right eventually.

DH is feeling pretty badly about this. He's never been robbed before,
and although the car (sorry I forgot to mention before that someone
broke into the car) and pretty much everything in it is mine, he still
feels like a victim because it happened to his *wife*. I feel really
sorry for him. I'm actually not taking it too badly anymore because
we're only out about a hundred bucks (deductible), whereas last time I
was out thousands (it was my apartment that got hit that time, and I
didn't have contents insurance, and I took it *really* hard), but since
this is his first it's still kind of hard. It's funny - he's from
downtown Toronto and has never had a problem until now, in a small city
on the outskirts. It's just *like* that here, though. The cops don't
care. When I was young enough to be doing the bar thing, we hardly ever
heard of anything weird, but now you constantly hear of fights that
involve knives and guns, and it's just scary. I don't know what has
happened to this place, other than that the cops don't care about it.
My 80+ year old neighbour has been robbed twice. She always tells me
about how they never used to have to lock their doors, but now she's had
all sorts of extra locks installed. Poor woman. She lives by herself.

Christine wrote:

HOLY HECK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you were'nt home at the time were you?


Well both times that my neighbour was robbed, she was in her backyard
while the thief went in through the side door.

She has to keep that door locked all the time, now, even when just doing
yard work. Sometimes we have to help her out because she loses her key
and can't get back in.

As for us and our car... We were home in bed and never heard a thing.
The dogs never even barked, which is highly unusual and suggests someone
who was used to breaking windows quietly.

Welches wrote:

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote in message
.. .

I could check out RHF, but I'm wondering if anyone here has any good
jokes to share. I just got robbed and I'm feeling rather bitchy,
bitter, and plain ****ed off. I could use a little cheering up. Don't
worry, the damage is minimal, but *emotionally*... I'm very very very
****ed off. This has happened to me before in this town. I wish we
could move away but DH doesn't want to drive, so he needs to be close
enough to use the bus. I don't know what's wrong with people these days.


We had an attempted break in on Sat. 4:30am. Phoned the police but he'd gone
before they came. Heck! This has one of the smallest crime rates in UK and
I'm still feeling rough (and scared). Dh did say that if they cased the
joint beforehand they must be stupid on what's worth stealing in our house
(anyone that'll take our 8yr old computer...?), and it's not the loss that
shook me up, but as you said it's the emotions.
hugs
Debbie



They like going after little things like CDs and jewellery. Games, too,
and ID. The easy stuff to carry. Oh, and cash. The one who robbed my
apartment was also clearly looking for drugs, since they took random
pill bottles that contained nothing of interest (I think I *may* have
had a bottle with Tylenol 3 in it, but that was all I had). Later on,
they tried to steal my identity and use it to rip off a pharmacy to get
some narcotics. The pharmacy alerted the police, who phoned me, and the
problem was solved. They tried to rip off another pharmacy, but big
mistake: It was the one I used and the pharmacist knew (and still
knows) me rather well, so he alerted the police immediately.

It's terrible. I just can't believe what some people are willing to do
to their fellow citizens. What's worse is when someone tries to rape
and/or kill someone. That just sickens me.

Oh and unfortunately, now and then, you get big time thieves who use
trucks and actually steal not only all of your small stuff, but your
furniture, too. Someone a couple of blocks away from us recently had
their entire house cleaned out. Once again, the cops are showing little
interest. I said to DH today that if ever there was an investigation
into the police here, there would probably be a *lot* of corruption
uncovered. He said that another professor had actually said the same
thing, but this other guy apparently has interesting connections, so
what he says might not entirely be based on speculation. Makes me
nervous. I hate it when the people you're relying on to protect you
aren't trustworthy.

I've toyed with the idea of installing security cameras and maybe even
hiring a security firm to watch our house (assuming that *they* can be
trusted...). Maybe we'll look into that more after the mortgage, which
will thankfully be done next year. Cash flow won't be so tight, then,
so it might be feasible. The irritating thing is that we don't live in
a fancy house, but as I said before, it's little stuff that most of them
are interested in.

BTW, for the first time in my life, I vacuumed my driveway today. I had
to. It was full of broken glass. There's still some there, too, so
I'll have to do a second pass.

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:

I said to DH today that if ever there was an investigation
into the police here, there would probably be a *lot* of corruption
uncovered. He said that another professor had actually said the same

Oops, I sort of implied that I'm a prof. Nope. I meant to say that the
prof was a colleague of DH's (so I tripped myself up by thinking of DH
as a prof, and thinking of the colleague as "another" prof...). ;-)