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#481
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playdates for 4yo
Hillary Israeli wrote:
In , bizby40 wrote: *5 and beyond is school age. It's incredibly rare for a parent to *stay (at least, I've never had it happen). Generally the kids ride *home together on the bus, and it's quite possible that the first *time the parents even meet will be when the visiting child's *parent picks them up. I remember riding the bus with a friend as a child. Does that still happen? My kids are still pre-bus-age, but I downloaded the pdf file about bus-riding-rules from our local district over the summer, and it was explicit and emphatic in the section covering which kids can ride which buses - THERE IS NO BUS-CHANGING ALLOWED! If you are signed up for Bus 42, you ride that bus, or no bus, end of story. Our kids (in elementary school) just have to have a note in order to ride a different bus than usual. By middle school or high school, I don't think they check. Best wishes, Ericka |
#482
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playdates for 4yo
Hillary Israeli wrote: In , bizby40 wrote: *5 and beyond is school age. It's incredibly rare for a parent to *stay (at least, I've never had it happen). Generally the kids ride *home together on the bus, and it's quite possible that the first *time the parents even meet will be when the visiting child's *parent picks them up. I remember riding the bus with a friend as a child. Does that still happen? Some districts don't allow it if their ridership is already at capacity. But I think it's still common in many places to allow it if the kid has a note from the parent. My kids are still pre-bus-age, but I downloaded the pdf file about bus-riding-rules from our local district over the summer, and it was explicit and emphatic in the section covering which kids can ride which buses - THERE IS NO BUS-CHANGING ALLOWED! If you are signed up for Bus 42, you ride that bus, or no bus, end of story. Having sat through innumerable transportation committee meetings, I'd bet that this refers primarily to families wanting the kid to ride the bus home on T TH when an adult is home; for the kid to ride to a sitter's house on MWF, when that adult works late; and for the kid to ride a third bus to Scout meeting at a leader's house on the second W of every month. Lori G. |
#483
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playdates for 4yo
Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Hillary Israeli wrote: In , bizby40 wrote: *5 and beyond is school age. It's incredibly rare for a parent to *stay (at least, I've never had it happen). Generally the kids ride *home together on the bus, and it's quite possible that the first *time the parents even meet will be when the visiting child's *parent picks them up. I remember riding the bus with a friend as a child. Does that still happen? My kids are still pre-bus-age, but I downloaded the pdf file about bus-riding-rules from our local district over the summer, and it was explicit and emphatic in the section covering which kids can ride which buses - THERE IS NO BUS-CHANGING ALLOWED! If you are signed up for Bus 42, you ride that bus, or no bus, end of story. What about the kids that are in care before and after school and would have to ride another bus? Surely there is some way to deal with that. I just don't believe that they can afford to be that dogmatic. This sounds like another time when they've had kids and parents abusing the privilege, and so they've killed a gnat with a hammer. Our kids (in elementary school) just have to have a note in order to ride a different bus than usual. By middle school or high school, I don't think they check. My kids rode different buses all the time. Of course I was a teacher and my kids were riding to the home of another teacher/friend. DD#1 and DD#2 have been in a situation where they have no buses because their kids were in parochial schools. They provided the transportation. And dd#2 picks up other people's children fairly frequently, and v.v. DD#1's youngest now rides the bus to public school but I don't know that he rides other buses. I think in the morning he sometimes is dropped off at another mom's home and gets the bus from there when his parents both have to be at work before he leaves. DD#3's oldest child walks to school. DS's children ride the bus, except his oldest is in a G&T middle school and has to take two buses, so sometimes his parents pick him up at school because the ride takes so long. grandma Rosalie |
#484
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playdates for 4yo
Rosalie B. wrote:
What about the kids that are in care before and after school and would have to ride another bus? Surely there is some way to deal with that. I just don't believe that they can afford to be that dogmatic. This sounds like another time when they've had kids and parents abusing the privilege, and so they've killed a gnat with a hammer. Most school systems *ask* parents where the kids are to go after school and assign them to the appropriate routes. Most after school programs send busses or vans to the school to pick up the kids. If a child is going to home daycare, the parents notify the school system where the child is going to daycare and the child is assigned to that bus. The problem is not parents abusing the system. They have these rules because the school is responsible for delivering the children safely to the bus stop. If they allow the children to hop on whichever bus they want, how can they guarantee that? Parents don't like it when the system loses their kids. The only way the system can keep track of the kids is for the system to know what busses they're supposed to be on and make sure they get on the proper bus. Best wishes, Ericka |
#485
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playdates for 4yo
In article ,
Rosalie B. wrote: I remember riding the bus with a friend as a child. Does that still happen? My kids are still pre-bus-age, but I downloaded the pdf file about bus-riding-rules from our local district over the summer, and it was explicit and emphatic in the section covering which kids can ride which buses - THERE IS NO BUS-CHANGING ALLOWED! If you are signed up for Bus 42, you ride that bus, or no bus, end of story. What about the kids that are in care before and after school and would have to ride another bus? Surely there is some way to deal with that. I just don't believe that they can afford to be that dogmatic. This sounds like another time when they've had kids and parents abusing the privilege, and so they've killed a gnat with a hammer. Perhaps. I know in some districts, their position is that they provide transportation to and from *home* -- and that's all there is to it. Parents are responsible for everything else. Education funding being what it is, I can understand some of this. If nothing else, they may not have enough staff to try to supervise bus changes at a larger elementary school: much easier to just have a single list, and not have to cope with changes. Having said that, I grew up in the country, where everyone rode yellow school buses. In elementary school, we could ride home with a friend with a note from our parents, and it was fairly common. By high school, I don't think folks paid much attention to what we did -- if I jumped on a different bus to go home with a friend, I don't recall anyone even caring. (In fact, after I started college -- just a mile or so from the high school -- I shagged a ride on the public school bus once or twice when my car broke down. The benefits of rural/small town life!) -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#486
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playdates for 4yo
Ericka Kammerer ) writes: Catherine Woodgold wrote: Ericka Kammerer ) writes: You further raise my hackles a bit by the couple of comments you have made along the lines of "people will have these suspicions until society no longer values marital fidelity." That strongly implies (so strongly that it's more a statement than an implication) that you believe that valuing marital fidelity (and living by those values) is incompatible with a policy allowing married men or women to be in private with members of the opposite sex, or at least those who haven't attained the status of close family friend or tradesman. Since many of us here live lives where marital fidelity is valued and achieved despite not giving a hoot about being scrupulous about being alone with members of the opposite sex, that is naturally going to rankle a bit. I think there's a middle ground that you're missing. There's a middle ground in terms of *actions*, but not a middle ground in *theory*. If you believe that society valuing marital fidelity is associated with not allowing married people to be in the company of those of the opposite sex in private, then that's what you believe. If you don't, you don't. Circumstances may cause you to *act* in accordance with those beliefs or not, as might competing values, but it was the assertion that the two were related that I was challenging. Best wishes, Ericka Well, the approximate quote you gave was "people will have these suspicions until society no longer values marital fidelity." I don't see that the other things you said necessarily follow from that at all. The middle ground I meant was that one could believe this approximate quote and at the same time not believe that people should not be allowed to be alone together, etc. The phrase "take a button and sew a vest on it" springs to mind. Do you disagree with the approximate quote? That is, do you believe it's possible that there will be a society in the future that values marital fidelity but in which people don't have "those suspicions"? (I'm just trying to clarify what is or is not being argued about here.) -- Cathy Woodgold http://www.ncf.ca/~an588/par_home.html We are all Iraqis now. |
#487
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playdates for 4yo
"Hillary Israeli" wrote in message ... In , bizby40 wrote: *5 and beyond is school age. It's incredibly rare for a parent to *stay (at least, I've never had it happen). Generally the kids ride *home together on the bus, and it's quite possible that the first *time the parents even meet will be when the visiting child's *parent picks them up. I remember riding the bus with a friend as a child. Does that still happen? My kids are still pre-bus-age, but I downloaded the pdf file about bus-riding-rules from our local district over the summer, and it was explicit and emphatic in the section covering which kids can ride which buses - THERE IS NO BUS-CHANGING ALLOWED! If you are signed up for Bus 42, you ride that bus, or no bus, end of story. At our school you can ride home with a friend if you have a note signed by a parent. If you forget to send a note, you can call the school. It's pretty lax, but I'm glad it is. I'd hate to be tied into *never* having them ride home with someone. There have been a couple of times when I've needed them to go home with someone else because I wasn't going to be at home for some reason. Bizby |
#488
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playdates for 4yo
"hedgehog42" wrote in message oups.com... Hillary Israeli wrote: My kids are still pre-bus-age, but I downloaded the pdf file about bus-riding-rules from our local district over the summer, and it was explicit and emphatic in the section covering which kids can ride which buses - THERE IS NO BUS-CHANGING ALLOWED! If you are signed up for Bus 42, you ride that bus, or no bus, end of story. Having sat through innumerable transportation committee meetings, I'd bet that this refers primarily to families wanting the kid to ride the bus home on T TH when an adult is home; for the kid to ride to a sitter's house on MWF, when that adult works late; and for the kid to ride a third bus to Scout meeting at a leader's house on the second W of every month. I think even that would be allowed at our school. I don't know if anyone has taken it to that kind of extreme, but we do have kids that ride the bus home some days and go to afterschool on others. And we have kids that stay with grandma some days, and go home on other days. |
#489
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playdates for 4yo
Rosalie B. wrote: Ericka Kammerer wrote: Hillary Israeli wrote: I remember riding the bus with a friend as a child. Does that still happen? My kids are still pre-bus-age, but I downloaded the pdf file about bus-riding-rules from our local district over the summer, and it was explicit and emphatic in the section covering which kids can ride which buses - THERE IS NO BUS-CHANGING ALLOWED! If you are signed up for Bus 42, you ride that bus, or no bus, end of story. Here, there's no 'spur of the moment' bus changing allowed for the elementary (k-5) busses, but changes -- or 'inconsistent ridership' is okay. So if you're riding bus 1 to school on Mondays, you're riding bus 1 to school *every* Monday. If you're taking bus 3 from school on Monday, you're taking bus 3 from school *every* Monday. You can then take bus 2 to school on Tuesday, but that's *every* Tuesday, and then take bus 1 from school *every* Tuesday. This is set up mainly because they wanted to both allocate the ridership between bus routes (all 4 of them), and also be flexible enough to accomodate kids' activities, custody arrangements, and afterschool care. What about the kids that are in care before and after school and would have to ride another bus? Surely there is some way to deal with that. I just don't believe that they can afford to be that dogmatic. This sounds like another time when they've had kids and parents abusing the privilege, and so they've killed a gnat with a hammer. I think the policy here is both flexible and, well, inflexible enough so that the bus driver has a list of who is on her bus for every route, every day, as does the child's teacher. Our school district is small, but I could see how kids could get lost, or fabricate playdates. Likewise, for K & 1st grade, kids need to be put *on* the bus with an adult present, and must be met at the stop *by* an adult or the bus just takes them back to the school (for afterschool care). Our kids (in elementary school) just have to have a note in order to ride a different bus than usual. By middle school or high school, I don't think they check. By middle/high school, they don't check (ridership also drops off, as there's no free bus from 6th grade forward). In elementary, kids also need a note if they're going to be picked up (instead of their usual dismissal route), or going to be walking (instead of usually being picked up or riding a bus). And walkers for K-2 need to be signed out by their 'walker partner' (older sibling or parent or nanny, etc.). Caledonia |
#490
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playdates for 4yo
Catherine Woodgold wrote:
Well, the approximate quote you gave was "people will have these suspicions until society no longer values marital fidelity." I don't see that the other things you said necessarily follow from that at all. The middle ground I meant was that one could believe this approximate quote and at the same time not believe that people should not be allowed to be alone together, etc. But even the *notion* that the two are related presupposes a relationship I don't agree with. It is not necessary for a society to value keeping married people out of private situations with members of the opposite sex in order for that society to value marital fidelity. If you tell me that a society allows men and women to work and socialize together without chaperones, even when married, I can't make any conclusion that the society doesn't value (or practice) marital fidelity any more or less than another society in which married men and women are kept apart from temptation or the appearance of impropriety. So, to make that statement as an argument for why a position of separating married folk from temptation is is inaccurate in my opinion. Do you disagree with the approximate quote? That is, do you believe it's possible that there will be a society in the future that values marital fidelity but in which people don't have "those suspicions"? Absolutely I believe that. I think many people feel that way right now, much less in the future. I know very few people who find ordinary socializing between married folk and opposite sex friends to be suspicious, even if they're not accompanied by chaperones all the time. Therefore, I do not think that this sort of separation is not at all necessary in order to promote or achieve valuing marital fidelity. I do not deny that some groups *both* value marital fidelity *and* "avoidance of temptation." I simply do not believe it is necessary, or even particularly worthwhile. Best wishes, Ericka |
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