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Three and a half year old boys, sleep already,



 
 
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  #1  
Old December 28th 06, 02:44 AM posted to alt.parenting.twins-triplets
[email protected]
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Posts: 1
Default Three and a half year old boys, sleep already,

Okay,

I'm writing this because I've spent the past hour and a half lying down
with one of my twin boys trying to get them to sleep so pardon any
*exasperation* you may detect. Here's the question, I feel that my
wife and I were never on the same page crying it out, etc. But
here's where we are now. We'd like to be able to put the kids to sleep
without having to lay down with them. We've made all the mistakes,
laying down with them until they fall asleep, letting them get up to
get a drink of water, use the bathroom, etc etc. So how do we start
establishing a routine. Just tell them, "okay, starting tonight
there's going to be a routine, bath, teeth, pj's, stories, and then you
lay down to sleep?" They share one bed, maybe we'll change that. But
unfortunately they share a room and we anticipate them getting into
trouble if we shut the door and leave them in there. Any tips on
getting them to sleep? The biggest problem is that I cannot fall
asleep when they do or nothing would get done around the house. So
after they fall asleep, I have to drag my grumpy self out of bed and
then get stuff done, this is *very* difficult.

Sam

  #2  
Old December 28th 06, 03:18 AM posted to alt.parenting.twins-triplets
Cindy Wells
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Posts: 4
Default Three and a half year old boys, sleep already,

wrote in news:1167273862.206957.307610
@h40g2000cwb.googlegroups.com:

Okay,

I'm writing this because I've spent the past hour and a half lying

down
with one of my twin boys trying to get them to sleep so pardon any
*exasperation* you may detect. Here's the question, I feel that my
wife and I were never on the same page crying it out, etc. But
here's where we are now.


snip
Sam



Are you being realistic to expect them to go to sleep when you tell
them it's bedtime? Can you secure their room such that they have
access to a few stuffed toys but can't climb on furniture or open
their bedroom and closet doors? My parents worked out with the first-
born (a singleton) and continued with my sister and I (twins) room time.
This was a time that we had to be quiet and no parents were in
the room, but we'd fall asleep when we were ready. They'd come to the
room if we got loud but otherwise went on to their usual activities.

Mom would take a nap (or at least rest on the bed) with my
sister and I to get us (at age three) to take a nap. I think this
was merely a response to make sure we didn't wake grandpa (he worked
nights) and so we'd be able to stay up to see grandma and dad. (Grandma
worked days (9-5) and dad worked second shift). Mom usually needed
to rest then as well (trying to keep up with the family on that
schedule with my brother in elementary school).

Cindy Wells
(My sister and I shared a room until age 6; we shared a bed until
age 3 1/2)
  #3  
Old December 28th 06, 04:32 AM posted to alt.parenting.twins-triplets
Ellen
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Posts: 5
Default Three and a half year old boys, sleep already,


Hi Sam,

My boys are now six and have always shared a room. Bedtime was never
easy for one of them and is still a challenge sometimes (the other
falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow). We have never laid
down with them, always just put them to bed and walked out. They still
have a nightlight, which we could not do without. Here is what worked
for us when they were that age: Have nothing in the room to tempt them
to play or anything that could be a danger. We basically had two beds
and a dresser bolted to the wall. That's it. We put tape over the
light switch and eventually had to unscrew the bulbs in the overhead
light, because they figured out how to get the tape off and kept
turning on the light! They figured out the doorknob thingy in about
ten minutes, so to keep them from coming out we put a hook/eye latch on
the outside of the door. We would unlock it as soon as they fell
asleep. BTW, an open door at nighttime has never been an option for us
due to noise with their sister going to bed, etc. The door has always
been closed tight at night, and still is. I also used to put them to
bed separately. Alex always fell asleep immediately (still does), so I
would put him up first, then when he was asleep Bradley would go up.
That way they wouldn't feed off each other...much less fun for B. when
A. is sleeping! You could also get each of them a small flashlight to
take to bed. It may help them to fall asleep.

Good luck. It is never too late to break the bad habits of bedtime.
Also, a sticker chart was a lifesaver for me. Each night that B.
stayed in bed and went to sleep without getting up, stalling, etc., he
put a sticker on the chart the next morning. When he got seven in a
row, we all went out for ice cream. If he had a bad night, it would
start over. It had to be seven IN A ROW or he wouldn't earn a treat.
I swear that is what got him to finally get himself to bed without too
much of a fight. We only had to do it for a couple of months.

Keep us posted!

Ellen
-------------------
Erin 6/95
Bradley & Alex 10/00

  #4  
Old December 28th 06, 02:41 PM posted to alt.parenting.twins-triplets
FrisbeeŽ
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Posts: 45
Default Three and a half year old boys, sleep already,

wrote in message
oups.com...
Okay,

I'm writing this because I've spent the past hour and a half lying down
with one of my twin boys trying to get them to sleep so pardon any
*exasperation* you may detect. Here's the question, I feel that my
wife and I were never on the same page crying it out, etc. But
here's where we are now. We'd like to be able to put the kids to sleep
without having to lay down with them. We've made all the mistakes,
laying down with them until they fall asleep, letting them get up to
get a drink of water, use the bathroom, etc etc. So how do we start
establishing a routine. Just tell them, "okay, starting tonight
there's going to be a routine, bath, teeth, pj's, stories, and then you
lay down to sleep?" They share one bed, maybe we'll change that. But
unfortunately they share a room and we anticipate them getting into
trouble if we shut the door and leave them in there. Any tips on
getting them to sleep? The biggest problem is that I cannot fall
asleep when they do or nothing would get done around the house. So
after they fall asleep, I have to drag my grumpy self out of bed and
then get stuff done, this is *very* difficult.

Sam


I've had to sit with my boys since they first left the crib at 18 months,
and they'll be nine in March. What works best for me, to at least minimize
the time I have to sit with them, is to have a brief wind-down time right
before bed. Usually, they've been playing video games together and are
quite wound-up. They have their own rituals, including getting that last
drink of water and going to the bathroom. We also then take turns with them
sitting on my lap in the rocking chair and exchange kisses and hugs. One
boy even has this patting routine that he goes through with me - pats me on
the left shoulder, then my head, then my right shoulder. I have no idea
where he came up with this, but it helps him relax. Any talking that needs
to be done we try to do while they are having their turn on my lap, and I
try to enforce silence once that's over. They usually fall asleep within
ten minutes with this ritual, and it's finally gotten to the point that nine
times out of ten, I can leave the room while they're still awake, but my one
boy prefers that I say "Goodnight, see you in the morning! I love you!" and
he responds in kind.

Believe me, I can sympathize with you having had to do this for nearly seven
and a half years now, but my boys are autistic so that might have a lot to
do with it. Autistic children thrive on routine. There have been stretches
where we've been just able to send them to their rooms and not even have to
sit with them, but they're rare. They have to be in an already settled
mood, or just plain tired, but not over-tired.

If you don't have any bed-time routines, consider adding one or two. Read a
short story or even part of a story to them every night. They'll soon come
to understand that immediately after that, it's time to close their eyes and
drift off to sleep. My boys used to let me sing to them, but for the last
several years, apparently I've lost the ability for it to be "soothing" to
them, heh. Perhaps its my choice of lyrics.

Good luck, it's really not so bad. Personally, I cherish the time alone
with the boys. I know one day I'll miss the hugs and kisses they give me
every night.


  #5  
Old December 28th 06, 03:02 PM posted to alt.parenting.twins-triplets
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Posts: 4
Default Three and a half year old boys, sleep already,

As a pediatrician and father of 26 month old triplet boys (who all
share the same room) the most important advice I can give is "routine,
routine, routine". You are correct in that you are already behind the
proverbial 8-ball, but all is not lost.

The first step is to get on the same page with your wife/partner. If
there is any variance between the two of you, then as others have said,
just get in bed with them and enjoy the time together. If you want a
cleaner sleep time there are some things you can do.

1) outline what the pattern will be
(video--dinner--bath--books--bed) and don't stray from that
pattern.
2) get the timing approximate (dinner will start 6:15 to 6:45) with the
goal being the same (in bed between 7:15 and 7:30)
3) once in bed, no getting out, no lights on ("you don't have to sleep,
but you have to be in your bed")
4) recognize that there needs to be some wiggle room in what you do,
but YOU are the parent and THEY are the child

As with any change in a child's ritual/routine, there will be
opposition (as long as it is not from the other parent) a slow steady
drift to what YOU want is the most effective.

wrote:
Okay,

I'm writing this because I've spent the past hour and a half lying down
with one of my twin boys trying to get them to sleep so pardon any
*exasperation* you may detect. Here's the question, I feel that my
wife and I were never on the same page crying it out, etc. But
here's where we are now. We'd like to be able to put the kids to sleep
without having to lay down with them. We've made all the mistakes,
laying down with them until they fall asleep, letting them get up to
get a drink of water, use the bathroom, etc etc. So how do we start
establishing a routine. Just tell them, "okay, starting tonight
there's going to be a routine, bath, teeth, pj's, stories, and then you
lay down to sleep?" They share one bed, maybe we'll change that. But
unfortunately they share a room and we anticipate them getting into
trouble if we shut the door and leave them in there. Any tips on
getting them to sleep? The biggest problem is that I cannot fall
asleep when they do or nothing would get done around the house. So
after they fall asleep, I have to drag my grumpy self out of bed and
then get stuff done, this is *very* difficult.

Sam


  #6  
Old December 28th 06, 03:09 PM posted to alt.parenting.twins-triplets
FrisbeeŽ
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 45
Default Three and a half year old boys, sleep already,

wrote in message
oups.com...
As a pediatrician and father of 26 month old triplet boys (who all
share the same room) the most important advice I can give is "routine,
routine, routine". You are correct in that you are already behind the
proverbial 8-ball, but all is not lost.


Snip

Wow, we have a real expert in here now!

Welcome, Dr. Greeley!


  #7  
Old December 29th 06, 05:58 PM posted to alt.parenting.twins-triplets
[email protected]
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Posts: 4
Default Three and a half year old boys, sleep already,

Greetings all! I've been snooping for a short time.

Peace in the New Year,
CSG

FrisbeeŽ wrote:
wrote in message
oups.com...
As a pediatrician and father of 26 month old triplet boys (who all
share the same room) the most important advice I can give is "routine,
routine, routine". You are correct in that you are already behind the
proverbial 8-ball, but all is not lost.


Snip

Wow, we have a real expert in here now!

Welcome, Dr. Greeley!


  #8  
Old December 30th 06, 03:48 AM posted to alt.parenting.twins-triplets
Ellen
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Posts: 5
Default Three and a half year old boys, sleep already,


Greetings to you too, Dr. G! It's always nice to see a new face here,
especially a "Dad"!

Take care,
Ellen
----------------
Erin 6/95
Bradley & Alex 10/00

 




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