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#11
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Boots! (common I'm sure)
"Babie" wrote in message ... So our baby girl is growing up and acts like a 13 year old (she's 5). Jarrod and I went on yet another cruise recently. This one to celebrate our 15th anniversary. While we were gone, his mom stayed at our place to take care of the girl, our dog and 2 cats. She only lives about 2 hours from us, so we see her probably every other week. For some reason, she decided to take Alegra on a shopping spree. One of the things she bought was a pair of boots. Now we've had experience with "boot issues" before as our niece is almost 9. But we never came up with a perfect way to deal with it... Alegra thinks she has to wear her boots with EVERYTHING. Before she was born I referred to her as my little diva, and she certainly lives up to that nickname. It isn't a huge deal, but how do you handle clothing issues? We've been working a lot with the word "compromise" lately, so she's starting to get it, but she still thinks her boots are the only thing she can wear. Compared to other things, this is really our only "fight" we have with her. One way we handle it is making her choose what she wants to wear to school the night before after her bath. That usually works, but some mornings she decided the boots are a must *grin* LES! I don't see what the problem is. I believe I read somewhere up above that there's nothing really *wrong* with the boots, you just, basically, think she looks a little rediculous with boots and a skirt (or shorts or whatever) I'd let it go. I'm a bit anal with the way my children dress. DS learned from a very young age about matching. (No, that red sweater does NOT look alright with those green shorts and those hiking boots don't do it.) But... when he got older and started actually deciding what to wear, I didn't really care so much. One example is while shopping, he wanted this very purple and brown "rugby" shirt. I eventually got it, racking my brain as to what he would wear this purple-striped shirt with. His pants are ALL camo-type 'army' pants... And 99% of them are green. Purple and green? Oh my. I don't care, though. I've realized the clothing battle is not a battle worth fighting. He's almost 8 and I really don't care. As long as he is wearing something that doesn't look horrid - and by that I mean ripped up and stained and disgustingly dirty - I'm alright. I've also learned to toss or donate anything that I don't care for him putting on. Ripped jeans and pants go straight to my pile to either find a new home for (some do quilts and such with old jeans and pants) or to toss. Stuff I don't care for - or he doesn't like - go into a donation box to get rid of. I figure if he wants to wear something I don't really care much for, oh well. That is my problem and I know those funny pants or strange shirt will not fit him forever (luckily!) I also know that DDs (they're 2 and 3) often want some strange items to wear. After buying both girls new rubber boots when it was raining quite a bit, that's all they wanted to wear... Rubber boots in the heat with shorts... Yes, it looks rediculous. Yes, it's hard for both of them to walk in rubber boots, but as long as it's not cold out (frozen feet in rubber boots is not alright) then I don't care. I've found the novelty of some things eventually wears out. DD1 is at the age where she tries to dress herself. If she puts a shirt on backwards, I usually don't care. If she puts her shoes on the wrong feet, I usually don't take them off and put them on her if she has put them on herself. They're her feet, and the only feet she has, so they're not really the *wrong* feet, really! I usually put her shoes on anyways, or help her right off the bat, but if she's managed to do it on her own, I let it go. With your issue with the boots, I would just let her do it and ride it out. Let her wear the boots if it makes her happy! The funny clothing issue is one battle I have learned to let go and not fight. Still working on a few other "battles" I know I should not fight, but the issue with clothes is one I have learned to look the other way with |
#12
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Boots! (common I'm sure)
In article , MarieD says...
"Babie" wrote in message ... Alegra thinks she has to wear her boots with EVERYTHING. Before she was born I referred to her as my little diva, and she certainly lives up to that nickname. It isn't a huge deal, but how do you handle clothing issues? We've been working a lot with the word "compromise" lately, so she's starting to get it, but she still thinks her boots are the only thing she can wear. 2 of my 3 daughters went through the boot phase. I let them wear them as much as they wanted. Even in the summer with shorts, there were those boots It was never a big deal to me if the boots did not go with the clothes. At one point, my youngest was wearing a tiara and her boots EVERYWHERE we went. This was over xmas so all the pics from our many family gatherings shows her in that tiara and the pink boots. I allow it because it's just not a battle for me. Also I homeschool, so I am not quite so worried about appearance in the smaller children as others seem to be. Marie I think most if not all of those who also answered to just go along with the boots are not homeschoolers. Banty |
#13
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Boots! (common I'm sure)
"Banty" wrote in message
... Marie I think most if not all of those who also answered to just go along with the boots are not homeschoolers. I saw that after I posted! I keep learning things, don't I All the objectors to my daughter's boots were parents with kids in school so that's where I got that from. Marie |
#14
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Boots! (common I'm sure)
"MarieD" wrote in message ... "Babie" wrote in message ... Alegra thinks she has to wear her boots with EVERYTHING. Before she was born I referred to her as my little diva, and she certainly lives up to that nickname. It isn't a huge deal, but how do you handle clothing issues? We've been working a lot with the word "compromise" lately, so she's starting to get it, but she still thinks her boots are the only thing she can wear. 2 of my 3 daughters went through the boot phase. I let them wear them as much as they wanted. Even in the summer with shorts, there were those boots It was never a big deal to me if the boots did not go with the clothes. At one point, my youngest was wearing a tiara and her boots EVERYWHERE we went. This was over xmas so all the pics from our many family gatherings shows her in that tiara and the pink boots. I allow it because it's just not a battle for me. Also I homeschool, so I am not quite so worried about appearance in the smaller children as others seem to be. Marie LOL-my almost 4 yr old insists on wearing her plaid school skirt everywhere. Luckily, Target reduced their uniform separates after labor day, so I was able to buy a bunch of them cheap (she doesn't care that the plaid isn't quite the same). Uniforms are not required at her school until 1st grade except for the occasional program, but she is insistent that only the school uniform is "right" for school. It means that I have a VERY distinctive kid-the one who looks like she's dressed as a preppy for halloween . |
#15
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Boots! (common I'm sure)
"MarieD" wrote in message ... "Banty" wrote in message ... Marie I think most if not all of those who also answered to just go along with the boots are not homeschoolers. I saw that after I posted! I keep learning things, don't I All the objectors to my daughter's boots were parents with kids in school so that's where I got that from. Marie It may be that the schools in your area have some restrictions. I know that my DD's school doesn't want anything at all hard soled on the gym floor, since the church just redid the floors not long ago. Fortunately, we were able to find mary-jane type "princess shoes" which had soles like tennis shoes for my DD . |
#16
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Boots! (common I'm sure)
Banty wrote:
In article , Babie says... "Clisby" What's wrong with the boots? OK, I'm a real slacker of a mother, but as long as my children are decently covered in something that fits the school dress code, it's really not my problem. If their clothing combinations are really weird, I'm sure some other child will kindly point it out. Clisby Nothing wrong with them at all. But she has a lot of dresses and skirts... not to mention shorts etc that she wants to wear them with. It's more of an annoyance for me than anything major. We laugh about it regularly. Particularly since I can be really OCD about some things. (I'm a "shoe collector" so I notice shoes usually before anything else lol) One really important thing about parenthood (and life, for that matter) is realizing which problems are your problems and which problems are others' problems. This one is your problem and not your little girl's problem. So dont' try to make her fix it. Agreed; however, I don't agree with the notion that parents have no valid say over how their kids dress (which I'm not suggesting you espouse--simply observing that just because he may overdo the matching footwear thing doesn't mean that there aren't times when it's appropriate to insist that the child wear appropriate footwear). In some situations appearance matters and in others it doesn't (true for adults as well as kids, though adults have more situations in which appearance matters). When appearance matters, I have no heartburn squelching my kids' ....ummmm....creativity in matters of dress. When appearance doesn't matter, the only constraints are decency and weather-appropriateness. So, I'd agree that a parent shouldn't impose his or her desire to see a kid perfectly turned out all the time on the child, but not that requiring a kid to be well turned out when the occasion merits is something inappropriate. It's just a matter of matching the requirement to the context. Best wishes, Ericka |
#17
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Boots! (common I'm sure)
Donna Metler wrote:
"MarieD" wrote in message ... "Banty" wrote in message ... Marie I think most if not all of those who also answered to just go along with the boots are not homeschoolers. I saw that after I posted! I keep learning things, don't I All the objectors to my daughter's boots were parents with kids in school so that's where I got that from. Marie It may be that the schools in your area have some restrictions. I know that my DD's school doesn't want anything at all hard soled on the gym floor, since the church just redid the floors not long ago. Fortunately, we were able to find mary-jane type "princess shoes" which had soles like tennis shoes for my DD . Yes, our school has the same requirements for gym, but when it comes to kindergarten the teachers prefer that the kids pretty much wear something along the lines of tennis shoes every day (or something else sturdy with good, non-slip soles). They want the kids to be safe playing on the playground, and don't want the little girl in the dress and fancy shoes sitting on the sidelines rather than running off some energy during recess. DD had a boot thing going on last year, but this year they wouldn't be footwear that would be encouraged because they'd be slippery on the playground and inappropriate in gym. As the kids get older and more sure-footed, the teachers care less about what's on their feet as long as they have appropriate shoes on days with gym. Best wishes, Ericka |
#18
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Boots! (common I'm sure)
In article , Ericka says...
Banty wrote: In article , Babie says... "Clisby" What's wrong with the boots? OK, I'm a real slacker of a mother, but as long as my children are decently covered in something that fits the school dress code, it's really not my problem. If their clothing combinations are really weird, I'm sure some other child will kindly point it out. Clisby Nothing wrong with them at all. But she has a lot of dresses and skirts... not to mention shorts etc that she wants to wear them with. It's more of an annoyance for me than anything major. We laugh about it regularly. Particularly since I can be really OCD about some things. (I'm a "shoe collector" so I notice shoes usually before anything else lol) One really important thing about parenthood (and life, for that matter) is realizing which problems are your problems and which problems are others' problems. This one is your problem and not your little girl's problem. So dont' try to make her fix it. Agreed; however, I don't agree with the notion that parents have no valid say over how their kids dress (which I'm not suggesting you espouse--simply observing that just because he may overdo the matching footwear thing doesn't mean that there aren't times when it's appropriate to insist that the child wear appropriate footwear). In some situations appearance matters and in others it doesn't (true for adults as well as kids, though adults have more situations in which appearance matters). When appearance matters, I have no heartburn squelching my kids' ....ummmm....creativity in matters of dress. When appearance doesn't matter, the only constraints are decency and weather-appropriateness. So, I'd agree that a parent shouldn't impose his or her desire to see a kid perfectly turned out all the time on the child, but not that requiring a kid to be well turned out when the occasion merits is something inappropriate. It's just a matter of matching the requirement to the context. Agreed. I guess I'd see occassions where appearance is indeed important as to be kinda the kid's problem, too, if the family as a whole or the kid need to present themselves in a certain way. Banty |
#19
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Boots! (common I'm sure)
Donna Metler wrote:
"MarieD" wrote in message ... "Banty" wrote in message ... Marie I think most if not all of those who also answered to just go along with the boots are not homeschoolers. I saw that after I posted! I keep learning things, don't I All the objectors to my daughter's boots were parents with kids in school so that's where I got that from. Marie It may be that the schools in your area have some restrictions. I know that my DD's school doesn't want anything at all hard soled on the gym floor, since the church just redid the floors not long ago. Fortunately, we were able to find mary-jane type "princess shoes" which had soles like tennis shoes for my DD . Possibly - at my kids' school, you couldn't wear boots to P.E. Depending on the sole/heel, you might not be allowed to wear it on the playground, but I doubt a 5-year-old's boots would have a problem there. (This school is grades 1-8, so I can imagine a middle-schooler not being allowed to wear high-heeled boots on the playground at recess.) Clisby |
#20
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Boots! (common I'm sure)
Banty wrote:
I guess I'd see occassions where appearance is indeed important as to be kinda the kid's problem, too, if the family as a whole or the kid need to present themselves in a certain way. Well, it is the kid's problem, but perhaps not one they'd recognize or own ;-) Best wishes, Ericka |
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