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OT help with biting....not while nursing
"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message news:s7CVb.445548$ts4.168878@pd7tw3no... He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD. It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour. ((hugs)) I have no sage advice for you. I remember that phase, but we were able to get through it pretty well just by ignoring and or walking away. Then a while later came the biting because she was mad at us phase. That was the one that made me really angry. And I honestly can say that nothing we did stopped her, she just quit on her own eventually. -- Rhiannon Mom to M. Girl (28 1/2 months) and O. Boy (7 months) |
#2
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OT help with biting....not while nursing
Dawn Lawson wrote:
a 17mo that is cutting four teeth, suffering from a cold, and is making me a basket case with biting. Luke had a long love affair with biting. Some kids bite, others don't. Hunter never did. Luke was king of the bite. :-( It started at daycare and with Hunter. He bit when frustrated, tired, hungry, overly happy. Biting was just his first reaction. It went through the roof after he weaned. I tried everything under the sun. Removing him, removing myself, scolding, giving him more crunchy things to eat, trying to redirect the bite to something appropriate, screaming, crying, yelling NO BITE blah blah blah. I never bit him back but it was next on my list ;-). I finally thought long and hard about something I could do...instantly...that I knew he would really dislike and that would not be a lot of interaction/reaction. Restraint worked. Every time he bit I immediately grabbed him in a backwards bear hug and told him 'no biting, mama's going to have to stop you' and nothing more. That worked in about 3 days. Now he'll bite about twice a month, not hard, and only when he is really tired/over stimulated. -- Nikki Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2) |
#3
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OT help with biting....not while nursing
She's A Goddess wrote: "Dawn Lawson" wrote in message news:s7CVb.445548$ts4.168878@pd7tw3no... He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD. It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour. ((hugs)) I have no sage advice for you. I remember that phase, but we were able to get through it pretty well just by ignoring and or walking away. Then a while later came the biting because she was mad at us phase. That was the one that made me really angry. And I honestly can say that nothing we did stopped her, she just quit on her own eventually. Thanks, I'll take support in any form. I feel awful when I get so angry at him, and I don't know why the biting makes me feel so horrible/freaked out. I know it's an overreaction, and I do what I can to outwardly react appropriately (though I've also told him that Mummy doesn't like how his teeth feel, and I DO like his kisses, and cheer him hugely for any non-biting mouthing (can't really call it kissing, but it's not the horrible biting stuff) ) *sigh* It's just been a nightmare afternoon/evening, with one thing and another. I caved in, called it a washout, he fell asleep cuddled in my lap watching a cartoon on TV :-/ (normally it's a book in the rocker, with Mozart which konks him by the third track...tonight felt pretty "hillbilly" ;-) ), so at least it was a calm ending to the day. He's a good boy, I can't complain. He eats well, he's very sensible, he's good to the dog, he loves to be outside, he loves horses (good boy!) and he's funny as hell. I still get stopped by strangers to tell me how adorable he is (a lady in the grocery store actually stopped to tell me he had "great ears"!). I can't get over how damn cute his backside is when he's in streaker mode. ;-) I still adore his warm little lumpy self wanting to cuddle in the mornings...but the biting!! Ye Gads! I hope it's a short stage. Dawn |
#4
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OT help with biting....not while nursing
Nikki wrote: Dawn Lawson wrote: a 17mo that is cutting four teeth, suffering from a cold, and is making me a basket case with biting. Luke had a long love affair with biting. Some kids bite, others don't. Hunter never did. Luke was king of the bite. :-( It started at daycare and with Hunter. He bit when frustrated, tired, hungry, overly happy. Yup, got a happy biter. Biting was just his first reaction. It went through the roof after he weaned. hmmm, interesting. He's self-weaned in hte last month or so. Rarely even attempts to nurse. Not sure if the biting is worse, but interesting. I tried everything under the sun. Removing him, removing myself, scolding, giving him more crunchy things to eat, trying to redirect the bite to something appropriate, screaming, crying, yelling NO BITE blah blah blah. I never bit him back but it was next on my list ;-). Yeah, the list sounds familiar. At one point, he would bite me fiercely, then bite his own finger, and sign "hurt" and if i asked him why he shouldn't bite, he would sign "hurt". He signs hurt if he sees a picture of something appropriate(we have a book that has a dog that bonks its cartoon head, which he signs "hurt" for) and has shown me small scrapes etc with the sign, so he seems ot understand the idea of "hurt" I finally thought long and hard about something I could do...instantly...that I knew he would really dislike and that would not be a lot of interaction/reaction. Restraint worked. Every time he bit I immediately grabbed him in a backwards bear hug and told him 'no biting, mama's going to have to stop you' and nothing more. That worked in about 3 days. Now he'll bite about twice a month, not hard, and only when he is really tired/over stimulated. Hmmmm....might be worth a try. This is a kid that only holds my hand to go down steps. Will ponder what else fits the bill here. Thanks. Dawn |
#5
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OT help with biting....not while nursing
"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message news:s7CVb.445548$ts4.168878@pd7tw3no... Ok, I'm down to about my last nerve tonight. I have a tap that has resisted all my efforts to replace parts, and is dripping non-stop unless I turn it off under the sink, a dog that has been puking/gagging/generally being revolting all day, and a 17mo that is cutting four teeth, suffering from a cold, and is making me a basket case with biting. He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD. It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour. Sorry no advice, just some sympathy. I have a couple of friends who have toddler boys who bite them (and other kids) and I've seen two perfectly normal, intelligent, sane, healthy women at their wits end. One of the boys is starting to stop biting, but this is after months of his mother putting him in "time-out" or just following through when she tells him if he bites anyone at playgroup again, they are going (which is just as tough on my friend I think). On another note - I also hadn't realised that your DS had weaned. I know that he decided it was time etc etc, but I hope you are coping OK with it. DD goes through days when she wants to nurse about 3-4 times, and then not at all the following day. It just breaks my heart every time I think "this could be her last bf" .... but I'm rather 'hormonal' and teary about such things at the moment anyway. Hang in there Amanda -- DD 15th August 2002 1 tiny angel Nov 2003 EDD 19th August 2004 |
#6
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OT help with biting....not while nursing
"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message ... Ok, I'm down to about my last nerve tonight. I have a tap that has resisted all my efforts to replace parts, and is dripping non-stop unless I turn it off under the sink, a dog that has been puking/gagging/generally being revolting all day, and a 17mo that is cutting four teeth, suffering from a cold, and is making me a basket case with biting. He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD. It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour. My folks say "oh just ignore it, don't react" but frankly, the way it makes me feel, that I haven't reacted the way every nerve is screaming for me to react feels like all the ignoring I can do. So. Sitting there with my hand in his mouth is NOT an option. Taking my hand out is bloody difficult, he's usually doing this with both hands at full force holding my hand or face into his mouth. I've tried sitting him down, and walking away. Nothing. He could care less. And even if it *does* upset him, it doesn't upset him enough to make him reconsider a little while later. My mom suggested he was trying to be lovey-dovey, but at this point, I'm not sure a) that I buy that, given the look of utter ferocity on his face and the fact that he HURTS me, and b) that I care WHAT he's trying to do....I just want him to QUIT soon. Does anyone have any ideas for me? You could try not giving him access to your hands for a while. My son loved to bite knees! Distraction is the key, and continue to act like he hasn't bitten you even though it hurts. If you don't react at all he will tire of it. Any reaction even an angry one will fuel the behaviour even more. Got to go let the *^(%*$ dog out for the thousandth time, and pray for bedtime to arrive tonight with no hassle, so I can "detox" from this rotten evening. Dawn Is the dog ill? Mine has just got over lungworm. Andrea. |
#7
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OT help with biting....not while nursing
Andrea wrote: "Dawn Lawson" wrote in message ... He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD. It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour. My folks say "oh just ignore it, don't react" but frankly, the way it makes me feel, that I haven't reacted the way every nerve is screaming for me to react feels like all the ignoring I can do. So. Sitting there with my hand in his mouth is NOT an option. Taking my hand out is bloody difficult, he's usually doing this with both hands at full force holding my hand or face into his mouth. You could try not giving him access to your hands for a while. ??? I have to change him, dress him, bathe him, wipe his nose, and all teh other mum stuff. Can't quite fathom how to do that wihtout giving him access to my hands. Not like I'm sitting holding his hands or something. My son loved to bite knees! Distraction is the key, and continue to act like he hasn't bitten you even though it hurts. If you don't react at all he will tire of it. Any reaction even an angry one will fuel the behaviour even more. this isn't a new behaviour, i've been trying many things, including distraction (damned difficult when he's got two hanks of hair from either side of my head and I am basically immobile lest I end up with scars) and ingnoring him (again...he's not biting and moving on, he's biting and hanging on fiercely and if I just ignore him, he will be there for a LOOOOOOOONG time. I can't do that.) Dawn |
#8
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OT help with biting....not while nursing
A&G&K wrote: "Dawn Lawson" dlaw He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD. It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour. Sorry no advice, just some sympathy. I have a couple of friends who have toddler boys who bite them (and other kids) and I've seen two perfectly normal, intelligent, sane, healthy women at their wits end. Oh yeah... Maybe the panicky feeling I get isn't as unusual as I thought? I dunno. On another note - I also hadn't realised that your DS had weaned. I know that he decided it was time etc etc, but I hope you are coping OK with it. Pretty much, although of cousre there are times when I feel sad. He's latched on once or twice, but will not suck any more than a couple of times, and then gives me a funny look....I really don't know what he's trying to "say". He also wants me to hand-express a drop or two, which is getting steadily harder to do. I'm not sure why he does this, either. DD goes through days when she wants to nurse about 3-4 times, and then not at all the following day. It just breaks my heart every time I think "this could be her last bf" .... but I'm rather 'hormonal' and teary about such things at the moment anyway. I took note of the approaching weaning, and tried to really notice all of his last sessions (I assume last....can't see him picking it up again). I wasn't sure which was going to be the official "last" and I don't honestly remember it, but I do know it hasn't been a terribly traumatic time for either of us, once it was obviously the course of events he wanted. Dawn |
#9
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OT help with biting....not while nursing
On Mon, 09 Feb 2004 15:09:29 GMT, Dawn Lawson
wrote: this isn't a new behaviour, i've been trying many things, including distraction (damned difficult when he's got two hanks of hair from either side of my head and I am basically immobile lest I end up with scars) and ingnoring him (again...he's not biting and moving on, he's biting and hanging on fiercely and if I just ignore him, he will be there for a LOOOOOOOONG time. I can't do that.) Has he ever bitten you while nursing? If so, what did you do to stop it? I would try showing my emotions, showing that it hurts, yell ow or whatever you feel like doing. I know alot of people say to ignore it or distract but that just won't work sometimes, where being loud will. Good luck! Marie |
#10
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OT help with biting....not while nursing
Marie wrote: On Mon, 09 Feb 2004 15:09:29 GMT, Dawn Lawson wrote: this isn't a new behaviour, i've been trying many things, including distraction (damned difficult when he's got two hanks of hair from either side of my head and I am basically immobile lest I end up with scars) and ingnoring him (again...he's not biting and moving on, he's biting and hanging on fiercely and if I just ignore him, he will be there for a LOOOOOOOONG time. I can't do that.) Has he ever bitten you while nursing? If so, what did you do to stop it? extremely rare. hurt like a b*tch, so I hollered. Probably a half dozen times in his life. I would try showing my emotions, showing that it hurts, yell ow or whatever you feel like doing. I know alot of people say to ignore it or distract but that just won't work sometimes, where being loud will. *g* tried both aspects. No real change. He's also biting my shoulder/clothes if I hold or carry him, so really the suggestion to make myself unavailable isn't going to work at all. May try giving him a teether or something and tell him that he can only bite toys if he needs to bite. Dawn |
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