rant plus need help (long - sorry)

Hello everyone hope someone can help

I have 5 week old twins born 4 1/2 weks early and I'm breastfeeding. The
problem is that from midnight to 7 or 8 am they want to be feeding
constantly and then sleep all morning. I am wondering if it is possible to
change their behaviour to sleeping a little more at night and feeding more
during the day, however everything I've tried so far has been a complete
failure. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not wanting 5 wk old babes to sleep
through the night, but even if they went just 1 - 2 hours between feeds it
would be easier than what's happening at the moment. For a while I worried
that I wasn't producing enough milk and they weren't satisfied but they are
putting on weight brilliantly so I am assured by the midwife/health visitor
that this is not the problem.

The health professionals only advice has been to give formula but I really
want to breastfeed. They just say "oh, you've done well to breast feed
premature babies for 5 weeks ...." etc but surely I can't be the only person
b/feeding twins, they are making me feel like some king of freak for wanting
to b/f twins in the first place. I really feel like I'm banging my head
against a brick wall with them at the moment.

Nobody in the family can give me any advice as these are the first
grandchildren for both my family and my DH, and both my mother and MIL
formula fed. Nor am I saying formula feeding is wrong, I just don't want to
give up breastfeeding for the sake of my sleep when the babies are obviously
doing well on it. They seem to feed, fall asleep and then the minute you
try and put them in a cot or moses basket or crib they wake, start screaming
and want feeding again.

Is this something that I just have to ride out or does anybody know how I
can try and change it.

Sorry this is so long but I really don't know where else to turn (having
said that I feel better just getting it off my chest!).

Ellie

Subject: rant plus need help (long - sorry)
From: "Ellie"
Date: Thu, Nov 13, 2003 10:38 PM
Message-id:

Hello everyone hope someone can help

I have 5 week old twins born 4 1/2 weks early and I'm breastfeeding. The
problem is that from midnight to 7 or 8 am they want to be feeding
constantly and then sleep all morning. I am wondering if it is possible
to
change their behaviour to sleeping a little more at night and feeding more
during the day, however everything I've tried so far has been a complete
failure. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not wanting 5 wk old babes to sleep
through the night, but even if they went just 1 - 2 hours between feeds
it
would be easier than what's happening at the moment. For a while I worried
that I wasn't producing enough milk and they weren't satisfied but they
are
putting on weight brilliantly so I am assured by the midwife/health visitor
that this is not the problem.

The health professionals only advice has been to give formula but I really
want to breastfeed. They just say "oh, you've done well to breast feed
premature babies for 5 weeks ...." etc but surely I can't be the only person
b/feeding twins, they are making me feel like some king of freak for wanting
to b/f twins in the first place. I really feel like I'm banging my head
against a brick wall with them at the moment.

Nobody in the family can give me any advice as these are the first
grandchildren for both my family and my DH, and both my mother and MIL
formula fed. Nor am I saying formula feeding is wrong, I just don't want
to
give up breastfeeding for the sake of my sleep when the babies are obviously
doing well on it. They seem to feed, fall asleep and then the minute you
try and put them in a cot or moses basket or crib they wake, start screaming
and want feeding again.

Is this something that I just have to ride out or does anybody know how
I
can try and change it.

Sorry this is so long but I really don't know where else to turn (having
said that I feel better just getting it off my chest!).

Ellie

My only suggestion would be to try pacifiers if you have not already. They
might just need the comfort of sucking and not always the food. But I know
some people are very opposed to their use. Just an idea though.

Lori

Subject: rant plus need help (long - sorry)
From: "Ellie"
Date: Thu, Nov 13, 2003 10:38 PM
Message-id:

Hello everyone hope someone can help

I have 5 week old twins born 4 1/2 weks early and I'm breastfeeding. The
problem is that from midnight to 7 or 8 am they want to be feeding
constantly and then sleep all morning. I am wondering if it is possible
to
change their behaviour to sleeping a little more at night and feeding more
during the day, however everything I've tried so far has been a complete
failure. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not wanting 5 wk old babes to sleep
through the night, but even if they went just 1 - 2 hours between feeds
it
would be easier than what's happening at the moment. For a while I worried
that I wasn't producing enough milk and they weren't satisfied but they
are
putting on weight brilliantly so I am assured by the midwife/health visitor
that this is not the problem.

The health professionals only advice has been to give formula but I really
want to breastfeed. They just say "oh, you've done well to breast feed
premature babies for 5 weeks ...." etc but surely I can't be the only person
b/feeding twins, they are making me feel like some king of freak for wanting
to b/f twins in the first place. I really feel like I'm banging my head
against a brick wall with them at the moment.

Nobody in the family can give me any advice as these are the first
grandchildren for both my family and my DH, and both my mother and MIL
formula fed. Nor am I saying formula feeding is wrong, I just don't want
to
give up breastfeeding for the sake of my sleep when the babies are obviously
doing well on it. They seem to feed, fall asleep and then the minute you
try and put them in a cot or moses basket or crib they wake, start screaming
and want feeding again.

Is this something that I just have to ride out or does anybody know how
I
can try and change it.

Sorry this is so long but I really don't know where else to turn (having
said that I feel better just getting it off my chest!).

Ellie

My only suggestion would be to try pacifiers if you have not already. They
might just need the comfort of sucking and not always the food. But I know
some people are very opposed to their use. Just an idea though.

Lori

One other thing I thought of after I hit send. Can you express some milk and
maybe have your husband or a grandma take over for some of the night time
feedings? That way you get the sleep and they still get the milk. But I am
not sure if you are totally opposed to using bottles at all.

Lori

One other thing I thought of after I hit send. Can you express some milk and
maybe have your husband or a grandma take over for some of the night time
feedings? That way you get the sleep and they still get the milk. But I am
not sure if you are totally opposed to using bottles at all.

Lori

One other thing I thought of after I hit send. Can you express some milk and
maybe have your husband or a grandma take over for some of the night time
feedings? That way you get the sleep and they still get the milk. But I am
not sure if you are totally opposed to using bottles at all.

I don't see this as a feeding problem at all, really, it's just day and night
confusion like lots of babies have, only a little more severe, and worse to
handle because there are two babies.

I'd use extra hands to take the babies out so mom can nap. Plus maybe get up
for the morning at five or something, so that there is a pattern of getting
*up* and then having a nap *later*, even if it's been preceded by wee-hours
hell. Then put the babies down for a nap a little later, as late as you can
persuade them. Then try to move the getting-up time later. This is REALLY HARD
to do when you are really tired yourself, which is why finding *some* way to
get naps for the adults in is a good idea.

I don't know if going-to-bed rituals really work with tiny babies (though
swaddling can help), but routines, as in doing the same thing every day in the
same order, worked well with mine. You can sometimes manage to get the *order*
the way you want it and then move the *time*.

--Helen

One other thing I thought of after I hit send. Can you express some milk and
maybe have your husband or a grandma take over for some of the night time
feedings? That way you get the sleep and they still get the milk. But I am
not sure if you are totally opposed to using bottles at all.

I don't see this as a feeding problem at all, really, it's just day and night
confusion like lots of babies have, only a little more severe, and worse to
handle because there are two babies.

I'd use extra hands to take the babies out so mom can nap. Plus maybe get up
for the morning at five or something, so that there is a pattern of getting
*up* and then having a nap *later*, even if it's been preceded by wee-hours
hell. Then put the babies down for a nap a little later, as late as you can
persuade them. Then try to move the getting-up time later. This is REALLY HARD
to do when you are really tired yourself, which is why finding *some* way to
get naps for the adults in is a good idea.

I don't know if going-to-bed rituals really work with tiny babies (though
swaddling can help), but routines, as in doing the same thing every day in the
same order, worked well with mine. You can sometimes manage to get the *order*
the way you want it and then move the *time*.

--Helen

This sounds like a good idea, going to give it a go, I certainly don't mind
them feeding constantly but it would be easier during the day! I can handle
being tired for a few more days to see if we can get into a pattern.

Thanks for the advice

Ellie

"H Schinske" wrote in message
...
One other thing I thought of after I hit send. Can you express some milk
and
maybe have your husband or a grandma take over for some of the night time
feedings? That way you get the sleep and they still get the milk. But I
am
not sure if you are totally opposed to using bottles at all.

I don't see this as a feeding problem at all, really, it's just day and
night
confusion like lots of babies have, only a little more severe, and worse
to
handle because there are two babies.

I'd use extra hands to take the babies out so mom can nap. Plus maybe get
up
for the morning at five or something, so that there is a pattern of
getting
*up* and then having a nap *later*, even if it's been preceded by
wee-hours
hell. Then put the babies down for a nap a little later, as late as you
can
persuade them. Then try to move the getting-up time later. This is REALLY
HARD
to do when you are really tired yourself, which is why finding *some* way
to
get naps for the adults in is a good idea.

I don't know if going-to-bed rituals really work with tiny babies (though
swaddling can help), but routines, as in doing the same thing every day in
the
same order, worked well with mine. You can sometimes manage to get the
*order*
the way you want it and then move the *time*.

--Helen

This sounds like a good idea, going to give it a go, I certainly don't mind
them feeding constantly but it would be easier during the day! I can handle
being tired for a few more days to see if we can get into a pattern.

Thanks for the advice

Ellie

"H Schinske" wrote in message
...
One other thing I thought of after I hit send. Can you express some milk
and
maybe have your husband or a grandma take over for some of the night time
feedings? That way you get the sleep and they still get the milk. But I
am
not sure if you are totally opposed to using bottles at all.

I don't see this as a feeding problem at all, really, it's just day and
night
confusion like lots of babies have, only a little more severe, and worse
to
handle because there are two babies.

I'd use extra hands to take the babies out so mom can nap. Plus maybe get
up
for the morning at five or something, so that there is a pattern of
getting
*up* and then having a nap *later*, even if it's been preceded by
wee-hours
hell. Then put the babies down for a nap a little later, as late as you
can
persuade them. Then try to move the getting-up time later. This is REALLY
HARD
to do when you are really tired yourself, which is why finding *some* way
to
get naps for the adults in is a good idea.

I don't know if going-to-bed rituals really work with tiny babies (though
swaddling can help), but routines, as in doing the same thing every day in
the
same order, worked well with mine. You can sometimes manage to get the
*order*
the way you want it and then move the *time*.

--Helen

I agree with Helen that you just need to reaffirm the distinction of night
v. day. Try, at night:

-- darkness, silence and a very matter of fact feeding approach -- a tiny
nightlight, no tv or radio, no talk, no cuddles, no singing .... just feed
and done. Then in the a.m. make a BIG fuss and lots of noise (we actually
used to throw the lights on and sing when we came in the room -- feels dumb
but if it works ...) and make daylight feedings noisy, cuddly and fun.

-- don't change diapers at night unless poopy.

-- swaddle

-- they may not like going down flat, so try putting down to sleep in car
seat, swing (set low or not moving at all), vibrating bouncy seat, ... one
of ours was fine for naps but didn't like to sleep flat at night for a
couple of months and all of these alternatives worked at various times.

-- dh and you each sleep semi-sitting up in bed (not near an edge), holding
a nodding-off baby. I had to do this with Holly before we realized that her
"night-day confusion" was actually starvation caused by lack of milk supply
(oops). Get lots of pillows to support your back and arms and you kind of
half-recline. Then at least you may doze even though it is not the best
sleep on the market. This differs from co-sleeping in that you are not
lying down and so cannot roll and squash anyone. Obviously, you need plenty
of pillows under your elbow etc. so that you can't drop the baby when your
arms go a bit limp.


"Ellie" wrote in message
...
This sounds like a good idea, going to give it a go, I certainly don't
mind
them feeding constantly but it would be easier during the day! I can
handle
being tired for a few more days to see if we can get into a pattern.

Thanks for the advice

Ellie

"H Schinske" wrote in message
...
One other thing I thought of after I hit send. Can you express some
milk
and
maybe have your husband or a grandma take over for some of the night
time
feedings? That way you get the sleep and they still get the milk. But
I
am
not sure if you are totally opposed to using bottles at all.

I don't see this as a feeding problem at all, really, it's just day and
night
confusion like lots of babies have, only a little more severe, and worse
to
handle because there are two babies.

I'd use extra hands to take the babies out so mom can nap. Plus maybe
get
up
for the morning at five or something, so that there is a pattern of
getting
*up* and then having a nap *later*, even if it's been preceded by
wee-hours
hell. Then put the babies down for a nap a little later, as late as you
can
persuade them. Then try to move the getting-up time later. This is
REALLY
HARD
to do when you are really tired yourself, which is why finding *some*
way
to
get naps for the adults in is a good idea.

I don't know if going-to-bed rituals really work with tiny babies
(though
swaddling can help), but routines, as in doing the same thing every day
in
the
same order, worked well with mine. You can sometimes manage to get the
*order*
the way you want it and then move the *time*.

--Helen