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Schools out
Paul Griffiths wrote in message ... "Cele" wrote in message Not here. Another week to go. Not here either. Another five to go if I've worked it out correctly. Last week here in Ireland. A nine week break this year but I only get two this time. Dennis |
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Schools out
Laura wrote in message snipped Things are still really difficult for the boys with their father and unfortunately therapy hasn't done a whole lot of good -- it's helped them in some ways but they're really too fearful to speak freely with the therapist about the big things, so we're all kind of stuck. How do you know this? Do they volounteer this info. or do you question them afterwards? I would think that if the boys know they will be scrutinized by you after the therapist then they are far less likely to "open up" as it may mean telling you something they think you may not want to hear. If we do move, I think it might help things, as they won't have alternate weekends with their father, which seem to be stressful for everyone involved (which means they catch hell), Why should it be stressfull for you? Step back a little. but when they do see him it will be for longer periods (holiday weekends, school breaks) so maybe they can get to know each other better. Could work out better. DON'T PHONE every five minutes, in fact don't phone at all. Ugh. Since he won't talk to me at all, won't even accept things in writing (no e-mail contact, no faxes from me or my attorney...), it will probably end up being up to a judge what visitation will be, which is really sad. His choice. I did get to babbling, didn't I? Oh well, I've been carrying this stuff around a while. Hope you were not looking for sympathy ;-) Dennis |
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Schools out
"Dennis Here" youreply wrote in message ...
Laura wrote in message snipped Things are still really difficult for the boys with their father and unfortunately therapy hasn't done a whole lot of good -- it's helped them in some ways but they're really too fearful to speak freely with the therapist about the big things, so we're all kind of stuck. How do you know this? Do they volounteer this info. Yep. or do you question them afterwards? Nope. I would think that if the boys know they will be scrutinized by you after the therapist then they are far less likely to "open up" as it may mean telling you something they think you may not want to hear. No kidding, Dennis. That's why they talk to me about these things, because they know I listen without judgment. They're afraid to talk to the therapist because it opens them up to interrogation from their father and stepmother. Like I said though, they have benefited some from the therapy, I just had hoped it would really give them an outlet besides me, and each other. They rely on each other a lot, which is good, they're good friends. They've also developed a close relationship with their stepfather, whom they see as separate from the conflict altogether. So they're doing very well, considering what they go through. If we do move, I think it might help things, as they won't have alternate weekends with their father, which seem to be stressful for everyone involved (which means they catch hell), Why should it be stressfull for you? Step back a little. I've been working on that. It's hard though. I know how they're treated there and it is difficult for me to know they're suffering and not be able to protect them. I know I can't protect them from the big, bad world, but from their father... it's been pretty hard. but when they do see him it will be for longer periods (holiday weekends, school breaks) so maybe they can get to know each other better. Could work out better. DON'T PHONE every five minutes, in fact don't phone at all. Thanks, but I'll pass on that advice. When they're gone for the weekend, I rarely call, but if they're gone longer than that I want to talk to them and they want to talk to me. Ugh. Since he won't talk to me at all, won't even accept things in writing (no e-mail contact, no faxes from me or my attorney...), it will probably end up being up to a judge what visitation will be, which is really sad. His choice. That's easy for you to say, since you have full legal custody of Freddie. Sharing custody with someone who refuses to communicate with you is pretty difficult logistically, not to mention emotionally and financially and every other -ly. At any rate, it should be resolved pretty soon. I did get to babbling, didn't I? Oh well, I've been carrying this stuff around a while. Hope you were not looking for sympathy ;-) From you? Nah, just posting an update. I must say, though, that I think this job of yours is taking too much of your attention. Usually your assumptions are closer to the mark. Think you can find time to post more, maybe get back into practice? :-) lm |
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Schools out
Laura wrote in message "Dennis wrote in message How do you know this? Do they volunteer this inf.. Yep. or do you question them afterwards? Nope. I would think that if the boys know they will be scrutinized by you after the therapist then they are far less likely to "open up" as it may mean telling you something they think you may not want to hear. No kidding, Dennis. That's why they talk to me about these things, because they know I listen without judgment. They're afraid to talk to the therapist because it opens them up to interrogation from their father and stepmother. Like I said though, they have benefited some from the therapy, I just had hoped it would really give them an outlet besides me, and each other. They rely on each other a lot, which is good, they're good friends. They've also developed a close relationship with their stepfather, whom they see as separate from the conflict altogether. So they're doing very well, considering what they go through. but when they do see him it will be for longer periods (holiday weekends, school breaks) so maybe they can get to know each other better. Could work out better. DON'T PHONE every five minutes, in fact don't phone at all. Thanks, but I'll pass on that advice. When they're gone for the weekend, I rarely call, but if they're gone longer than that I want to talk to them and they want to talk to me. Hope you were not looking for sympathy ;-) From you? Nah, just posting an update. I must say, though, that I think this job of yours is taking too much of your attention. Usually your assumptions are closer to the mark. Think you can find time to post more, maybe get back into practice? :-) I wasn't too far off the mark, I just chose the wrong parent when I assumed someone was grilling the children. I am delighted that Bruce (sorry, forgotton again!) is filling a gap for the boys and they are able to talk freely to him. You have picked a great guy. I will agree to differ on the phoning issue though I must admit to wanting to phone Freddie on the rare occasions he is away for a week. Last new year he phoned me though. I too wish I had more time for posting, sorry if my finger was off the pulse this time. dennis |
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