So does anyone have book recommendations...

Mary S. wrote in message
...
Sue wrote:

There are a ton of books, Mary. You just need to go and find which ones
you
like and/or what kind of information you are looking for. The best
advice
that I read in mkb that was like a *doh* for me was to not assume that
the
first child will have a problem being a sister. Sproutkin is still a
little
young to truly understand what is going on, but if you don't get any
books
about jealousy or that the new sibling coming could potentially be a bad
thing, then I think you won't have any problems at all.

This is great advice -- avoiding the "now that you have a new sibling,
you will feel jealous and angry" prep. I have some neat books I've kept
tucked away for Sproutkin -- the Sears sibling book, Hello Baby, My New
Baby, We Have A Baby, and Waiting For Baby -- can't remember the various
authors, but I like them all; they show lots of snuggling and nursing
and positive sibling relationships.

I guess we'll wait before we pull them out and start reading them to
her... although, part of me thinks we should just talk about the baby as
an assumed fact of the future, so it will seem like she's always known
that there will eventually be a sibling. But really low-key for a while
yet.

There are also so many books for parents about adding a second child to
the mix. Did anyone have a particular favorite? One baby was so easy;
my lifestyle didn't change hardly at all, she just fit into our lives
like a puzzle piece. I've never heard anyone say that about #2! LOL.

Actually I've found #2 just fits in with #1, I'm doing basically the same as
before barring swimming, which I don't fancy doing with 2 until dd#2 can use
one of those swimming seats. It may change once #2 is moving and expressing
her own opinion though!
I started talking babies to dd at about 22 months. I love holding babies,
and when I hold one dd#1 always was interested and wanted to hold (with
assistance-assuming she didn't have a cold/mother was happy etc.) So I used
one of these oportunities to explain that the baby grew in the mummy's
tummy. When I was pregnant she was told fairly early on because I was being
sick, and then I used my pregnancy book which has drawn pictures in of
babies in tummys to talk to her about it. Then I just let her ask questions.
She'd ask what the baby looked like and I'd find her a picture of the
closest age. Or another time she asked whether I had to undo my tummy button
to get baby out. Later she got more interested in the photos of a baby being
born, and the pictures of hospital rooms. It was only in the last couple of
months I got the "new baby" books out, as she was very happy with baby
inside and I didn't want her waiting too long for the baby to appear.
So far we have had very little jealousy-just occasionally asking me to put
dd#2 down and do something with her. She's already asked if I'll grow
another one-however her experience of pregnancy has led her to say she
doesn't want a baby in her tummy!
I think your idea of just talking for now is the best, but remember 8 months
is a long time so don't talk too much about what you'll be doing with the
baby. Also I didn't prepare dd#1 enough for not being able to play with the
baby immediately. She wanted to play catch will dd#2 and was disappointed to
find that dd#2 wasn't very good at it.
Debbie

Mary S. wrote:

One baby was so
easy; my lifestyle didn't change hardly at all, she just fit into our
lives like a puzzle piece. I've never heard anyone say that about
#2! LOL.

FWIW I thought adding #2 was lots easier then the adjustment to adding #1.
My lifestyle did change dramatically when adding a baby. By the time #2
came I had routines and everything was old hat. I'd developed a family
friendly lifestyle. I wasn't nervousness about breastfeeding, already had
child care (which isn't a concern for everyone), already had the *stuff*.
Very easy. Luke was an easy baby though.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

Mary S. wrote in message
...

Is Sproutkin still breastfeeding? Do you think you will wean her or
tandem?
Just curious.

I'm hoping to give tandemming a try, and see what happens. I can't see
weaning her (outside of a pelvic rest situation), so by default, we'll
try it! If I knew I had to wean in order to conceive, we would probably
have waited until she was more like 2.5 and given her a nudge, if she
hadn't self-weaned by then.

Any tips? No sore breasts yet (I sort of wish they were -- those faint
lines are keeping me a little nervous). Is that the biggest hurdle when
nursing through a pregnancy?

dd#1 anounced that there was no milk some point in the middle trimester. She
however wanted to try again and found there was some about 3 days later
(trying once a day)
When dd#2 was about 2 weeks dd#1 wanted to feed every time I was feeding,
but mostly I could put her off with reading a book or something. Now she
rarely feeds, but it's taken 3 months to get there.
Debbie

Mary S. wrote:
... about adding that second child?



I read 'Siblings Without Rivalry' and a couple more along that line that I
can't remember. Way to early to put any of that into practice of course but
reading with two small children is a pipe dream in my house so I'm glad I
read them then, lol.

I couldn't find books for Hunter that didn't include somekind of
trouble/problems with the transition so I didn't read him any. We prepared
him in other ways.

Fun journey :-)

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

Nikki wrote:
Mary S. wrote:

One baby was so

easy; my lifestyle didn't change hardly at all, she just fit into our
lives like a puzzle piece. I've never heard anyone say that about
#2! LOL.


FWIW I thought adding #2 was lots easier then the adjustment to adding #1.
My lifestyle did change dramatically when adding a baby. By the time #2
came I had routines and everything was old hat. I'd developed a family
friendly lifestyle. I wasn't nervousness about breastfeeding, already had
child care (which isn't a concern for everyone), already had the *stuff*.
Very easy. Luke was an easy baby though.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)




I agree - adding #1 was a huge shock to my system, and a complete
upheaval in my life. Relatively speaking, #2 was a lot easier, but
that's partly because my older child was in school all day by the time
he was born.

Clisby

Nikki wrote:

Mary S. wrote:

One baby was so

easy; my lifestyle didn't change hardly at all, she just fit into our
lives like a puzzle piece. I've never heard anyone say that about
#2! LOL.


FWIW I thought adding #2 was lots easier then the adjustment to adding #1.
My lifestyle did change dramatically when adding a baby. By the time #2
came I had routines and everything was old hat. I'd developed a family
friendly lifestyle. I wasn't nervousness about breastfeeding, already had
child care (which isn't a concern for everyone), already had the *stuff*.
Very easy. Luke was an easy baby though.


I found adding #2 eminently doable, but I did find
it harder than adding #1, perhaps because my lifestyle pre-
kids wasn't all that baby unfriendly and I didn't
have any of the worries. With #1, I still got a lot of
me time because if DH (or anyone else) had him, I was
"free." So, as an example, if we were out at a restaurant
with friends or family, one of us could have an eye on
the kid and the other didn't have to worry at all and
we just tossed baby duty back and forth very fluidly.
After adding the second, a situation like that would have
*both* parents on duty full time. All that extra
attention made a big difference in terms of feeling like
I had some downtime. That, and having to get two kids
wrangled to get out the door, were the significant
challenges for us adding two.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Mary S." wrote in message
...

... about adding that second child?



Mary S.
mom to the Sproutkin, 22 months
and a new wee babysprout, due October 1


Ooooh!!!!! I'm doing the happy dance right now! I have goosebumps and
tears in my eyes! I'm so happy for you!!!!!!!!!

(((((HUGS)))))

- Jen

Is Sproutkin still breastfeeding? Do you think you will wean her or tandem?
Just curious.

I'm hoping to give tandemming a try, and see what happens. I can't see
weaning her (outside of a pelvic rest situation), so by default, we'll
try it! If I knew I had to wean in order to conceive, we would probably
have waited until she was more like 2.5 and given her a nudge, if she
hadn't self-weaned by then.

Any tips? No sore breasts yet (I sort of wish they were -- those faint
lines are keeping me a little nervous). Is that the biggest hurdle when
nursing through a pregnancy?

Mary S.
mom to the Sproutkin, 22 months
and a new wee babysprout, due October 1

Get the newish book _Adventures in Tandem Nursing_. Author is Hillary Flowers
or something like that. I just read it and liked it; there is nutritional and
medical information and "how to" tips on stuff like positioning, but most of
the book is really just mom-stories and support, whether you do end up
tandemning, weaning, partially weaning, or weaning and then un-weaning. :-)

Holly
Mom to Camden, almost 3
EDD #2 6/8/04

Oh yippee, yippee!!!!!!!!!!! I totally missed this post, and just scolded you
in a post of my own for not posting yet!

I *knew* you were pg this cycle. I knew it, I knew it! So how long did it
take? Are you excited? Numb? Shocked? What does DH think?

laurie
mommy to Jessica, almost 3 years and
Christopher, 9 months

Mary S. wrote in message
This is great advice -- avoiding the "now that you have a new sibling,
you will feel jealous and angry" prep. I have some neat books I've kept
tucked away for Sproutkin -- the Sears sibling book, Hello Baby, My New
Baby, We Have A Baby, and Waiting For Baby -- can't remember the various
authors, but I like them all; they show lots of snuggling and nursing and
positive sibling relationships.

Yeah, it never really occured to me to avoid that, but I don't think I
brought it up to dd1 though. She did have some issues, but it wasn't too
bad. I do notice now that most of the books you read have the jealous
sibling thing going.

I guess we'll wait before we pull them out and start reading them to
her... although, part of me thinks we should just talk about the baby as
an assumed fact of the future, so it will seem like she's always known
that there will eventually be a sibling. But really low-key for a while
yet.

That's probably the best way to go. Just remember that if you start talking
about it too early, she doesn't have a concept of time and it may make you
nuts. ;o)

There are also so many books for parents about adding a second child to
the mix. Did anyone have a particular favorite? One baby was so easy; my
lifestyle didn't change hardly at all, she just fit into our lives
like a puzzle piece. I've never heard anyone say that about #2! LOL.

Well dd2 was and still is my extremely easy child. She slid right into our
routine, but I did have a hard time with the adjustment for a while before I
got into a routine of sorts. I just went by the seat of my pants and it
eventually worked out. The hardest part was the bed time stuff and luckily
my husband took over the bed time rituals with dd1 so I could concentrate on
dd2.

You're such a wonderful mother Mary, that you won't have any problems. Is
your husband working now or will he still be home when baby 2 comes?

--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...