Oy ... what did I say?

ha, you know if formula was new on the market just now, it would not be
approved for sale and definitely would not be allowed to be prescribed

Why not? Seems to me there's a reasonable chance it would prove to be at
least as good as the DIY formulas that people used to make before it was
commercially available, and probably better. For some babies, that would
be the choice. Formula may be horribly overused, but that doesn't mean
there aren't cases where it _is_ the best and healthiest alternative.


the bacteria in the powdered stuff, I totally agree it's necessary for it to
be available, but if it had to go through getting permission to be
prescribed just now, it would probably end up with only the ready made stuff
being available, I'm not saying we should be going that route, because it's
far better for non breastfed babies to get decent formula than some other
alternative.

I also think you are right about wanting permission, even though the
person may not realise it themselves.

Possibly, but from reading her post she did sound as though she wanted to
continue breastfeeding despite her reservations. Given how zonked out and
mummy-brained she's going to be right now, I don't think I'd read too much
into the fact that she happened to click on one forum to post to rather
than another. ;-)

I hadn't read the posts, it was more a general observation.

Anne

wrote:

[snip]
She's obviously an intelligent woman who is thinking this through and
certainly doesn't need the 'permission' of some anonymous people on a
message board to make such a decision. It seemed like she was just
bouncing around these thoughts in her head and I thought everyone gave
her some really good and honest advice.

Maybe if you had used the word "validation", instead of "permission". I
totally get what you meant, though, it seems like she may have been
looking for a tacit agreement that formula was the way to go.

I damn near tied my hands behind my back to keep from giving her a
detailed response, reminding myself over and over that this IS the
formula feeding board, and not necessarily an appropriate place to sing
the praises of breastfeeding ....

I dunno about that. I've met LOTS of formula feeding moms, especially
this time around, that have expressed guilt and regret over switching to
formula, and plenty of them would still be breastfeeding if they had
gotten the right advice and encouragement at the right time. One long
distance friend was telling me about how she cried for weeks when "her
milk dried up", just as the breastfeeding was starting to go well.
Since this happened months before we were talking, I didn't bring up the
possibility of a simple growth spurt - why make her feel even worse?

But if we can catch them right at that "oh my god, what's happening,
what am I doing wrong?" moment, how many breastfeeding relationships
could we save? Or even better, to reiterate from before birth,
breastfeeding often isn't easy, and it can be intensely frustrating. I
know a big part of my early problems was the whole, "okay, animals can
do this, why can't I figure it out?"

Is it wrong to be enthusiastic, without being assaultive, to try to help?

I only got through DS1's three-week growth spurt because of the help of
posters here - if I hadn't found this group I don't know what would have
happened. Thank you all, again, for being there as much as you can....

I'm gonna go write to my friend with the 2 month old and check up on
her. I've been wondering whether I should be nosy about the
breastfeeding, but, hell, it's important, right?
--
Cheri Stryker

mom to DS1 - 7 yrs, and DS2 - 5 months

Check out my new breastfeeding T-shirts on CafePress!
http://www.cafepress.com/dancingbones

Mum of Two wrote:
wrote in message
oups.com...
Right ... so ... as near as I can tell "breastfeeding is giving your
baby the best possible start in life" = "formula is not healthy for a
baby."

Well, health is relative. For the vast majority of babies, formula is
extremely unhealthy compared to breastmilk. It is however preferable by far
to straight cows' milk, or condensed milk diluted with water, or soy milk,
or juice...etc. So while it isn't strictly correct to say 'formula is not
healthy for a baby' it would be true to say 'with few exceptions, formula is
not healthy for babies compared to breastmilk'.


In my final response on the thread (asking my attacker what I'd said to
get such a response), I was going to write something like that.
Something like "breastmilk is by far the best food for a baby, but if
breastmilk isn't available, formula is the best alternative. (And any
pediatriian or website would agree.) " But after writing and rewriting
it, I finally decided that I wasn't in the mood to get into it, and
left it as I did." (I must be getting weak and feeble in my old
age....)

Naomi



--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

Cheri Stryker wrote:
wrote:

I damn near tied my hands behind my back to keep from giving her a
detailed response, reminding myself over and over that this IS the
formula feeding board, and not necessarily an appropriate place to sing
the praises of breastfeeding ....

I dunno about that. I've met LOTS of formula feeding moms, especially
this time around, that have expressed guilt and regret over switching to
formula, and plenty of them would still be breastfeeding if they had
gotten the right advice and encouragement at the right time. One long
distance friend was telling me about how she cried for weeks when "her
milk dried up", just as the breastfeeding was starting to go well.
Since this happened months before we were talking, I didn't bring up the
possibility of a simple growth spurt - why make her feel even worse?

But if we can catch them right at that "oh my god, what's happening,
what am I doing wrong?" moment, how many breastfeeding relationships
could we save? Or even better, to reiterate from before birth,
breastfeeding often isn't easy, and it can be intensely frustrating. I
know a big part of my early problems was the whole, "okay, animals can
do this, why can't I figure it out?"

Is it wrong to be enthusiastic, without being assaultive, to try to help?


Yeah ... I know all that. And maybe I should have. I guess I just
figured that, being new there, it wasn't the right time to get into a
lenghty debate (which would, most definitely have been interpreted by
the other readers as 'she's saying that we're all horrible mothers
because we don't breastfeed.') So call me a coward ....


Naomi

wrote:
Naomi, Naomi, Naomi,

:-)

Reading your long sad tale, I can't help but comment on what
I would do if I were in your shoes. :-) ...

Be in quite a lot of pain, I should think. I'd guess my feet are
smaller than yours ...


In the first place, given my own personal tendencies, I would
likely have never found my on such a "mainstream" parenting site! "-)

Nor would I. As I said, I followed a link on the MSN homepage .... (But
'mainstream' is right. Aside from the 'breastfeeding' boards, 99% of
moms there formula feed; all seem to have started solids at 4 months 1
day (or earlier), plan to potty train at 18 months, and so on.


Naomi

Nor would I. As I said, I followed a link on the MSN homepage .... (But
'mainstream' is right. Aside from the 'breastfeeding' boards, 99% of
moms there formula feed; all seem to have started solids at 4 months 1
day (or earlier), plan to potty train at 18 months, and so on.

it would be interesting to see how that potty training goes, I have heard of
this trying to train children early, but I've never seen anyone do it,
mostly round here there is no effort made in potty training which means it
ends up happening very late, it's fairly common for children to go to
nursery aged 3 still in nappies.

We were lucky with our DS at 26 months he announced he was going to use the
potty, first day he didn't manage it, but was fine from then on, has been
dry at night now for 4 or 5 months (he's 37 months).

Anne

Sigh ...

I'm not sure which of you guys also wandered over there and put their
two cents into the debate. It's all fine and all, but I really wish
you HADN'T given the link back here.
(It's VERY unusual for me to post to sites under a pseudonym, but I
chose to do so there. Not that I'm ashamed of anything I said, but I
prefer to keep my ID there separate.)

Naomi

wrote:
wrote:
Naomi, Naomi, Naomi,

:-)

Reading your long sad tale, I can't help but comment on what
I would do if I were in your shoes. :-) ...

Be in quite a lot of pain, I should think. I'd guess my feet are
smaller than yours ...

Lol!

At least you tried...


In the first place, given my own personal tendencies, I would
likely have never found my on such a "mainstream" parenting site! "-)

Nor would I. As I said, I followed a link on the MSN homepage .... (But
'mainstream' is right. Aside from the 'breastfeeding' boards, 99% of
moms there formula feed; all seem to have started solids at 4 months 1
day (or earlier), plan to potty train at 18 months, and so on.

I will say, dd started having interest in the potty around 15 months,
tho she didn't have her first success until a few weeks ago at 27
months (completely child-led, btw.) I find it amusing that it's likely
she'll be the first kid in my family to be potty-trained before she's
weaned!

Irene

wrote:

Cheri Stryker wrote:
Yeah ... I know all that. And maybe I should have. I guess I just
figured that, being new there, it wasn't the right time to get into a
lenghty debate (which would, most definitely have been interpreted by
the other readers as 'she's saying that we're all horrible mothers
because we don't breastfeed.') So call me a coward ....

Never! It's just something that I think about almost every day.

I'm considering calling up the local "high school for borderline
dropouts", and asking if they'd like an actual breastfeeding mother to
come in and help with their teen parent program, but since I don't have
any certifications or anything, I dunno if they'd want me.
--
Cheri Stryker

mom to DS1 - 7 yrs, and DS2 - 5 months

Check out my new breastfeeding T-shirts on CafePress!
http://www.cafepress.com/dancingbones

"Cheri Stryker" wrote in message
...
! It's just something that I think about almost every day.

I'm considering calling up the local "high school for borderline
dropouts", and asking if they'd like an actual breastfeeding mother to
come in and help with their teen parent program, but since I don't have
any certifications or anything, I dunno if they'd want me.

On a volunteer basis, I don't think it would matter. You can give them a
call.

Jess