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#21
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Update of all updates
"Tiffany" wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... Things here have been ok. My daughter got pictures together (we only had a few of the 2 of them) and we copied them and she made a poster of the pics of her, her and him, his family, his dog, ect. It turned out pretty nice. She is going to put it in the coffin. She tells me she didn't want to go up there today because she knows when she gets there, everyone is going to 'freak out'. I said, yes, they will be very emotional and then you will become just as emotional and that is fine. But she said, everyone thinks she should be so devastated but she isn't because she didn't know him that well. I said that is true and a legitament feeling. She said that I didn't seem upset, that I hadn't cried. I said, I am different, I am not a big crier. But that is me, and she can cry all she wants. She can scream and do anything and feel anything. It is hard for me to tell her that I really don't feel much one way or the other. Anyone losing their life is sad though. I feel for her and his family. When we called up there to say we wouldn't be there until tomorrow, I think they were upset. Oh well. I can't be concerned with everyone else, she comes first. So we are off early in the morning, the wake is at 3 then the funeral is Monday morning. Thanks again all for all the support. Tiffany My thoughts are with you and your daughter Tiff. Have a safe trip. Christine |
#22
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Update of all updates
Hi Kate
Well, I will try to contribute more, but only when I have something worthwhile to contribute. Seeing you have bet your 26 years of motherhood against my 20 years of social work, I guess I will have to raise the pot with 40+ years of fatherhood. Can you raise the betting? :-) David - who is happy to see that Kate has so many defenders of her wisdom 'Kate wrote: I wish this guy would contribute more than to critique my posts. I doubt my nearly 26 years of motherhood have anything on his 20 years in social work. 'Kate |
#23
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Update of all updates
I do have trouble understanding what you mean by that sentence Kate
David 'Kate wrote: On Sun, 02 May 2004 09:48:59 +1000, quietguy Christine, it seems that while you are happy to attack me, (and that is OK) it would be much more meaningfull if you showed somehow that you had at least read my post in full. As you will note in a post where I have responded to Kate, I believe the advice she gave about sending a very young, confused, and distressed child to attend a funeral by herself to be irresponsible and inapproriate. And despite what you say, I didn't chuck her whole post, just the bit about sending Sage off to funeral by herself You have trouble with the word IF don't you? |
#24
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Update of all updates
Paul, while I generally try not to be nasty, and never mind relevent criticism,
to I say get nicked. Go back and read some of the posts about this situation before shooting of your silly little mouth/keyboard. David Paul Fritz wrote: 'Kate wrote in message ... On Sun, 02 May 2004 09:48:59 +1000, quietguy Christine, it seems that while you are happy to attack me, (and that is OK) it would be much more meaningfull if you showed somehow that you had at least read my post in full. As you will note in a post where I have responded to Kate, I believe the advice she gave about sending a very young, confused, and distressed child to attend a funeral by herself to be irresponsible and inapproriate. And despite what you say, I didn't chuck her whole post, just the bit about sending Sage off to funeral by herself You have trouble with the word IF don't you? You'd think that after 20+ years of 'social work' the guy wuold have better reading comprehension than what he shows here. '13-14' yo is not "very young', nor likely confused, and nowhere did anyone say attedninf by herself. The only irresponsiblity is the self proclaimed social worker and his ASSuming........ |
#25
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Actually Kate, I think you do me a wrong here - as I said in a previous post I
thought the advice you gave was sound, except for the bit about sending the girl to funeral alone. The reason I did not write more was simply that I thought you covered the situation quite well, and I really didn't have anything worthwhile to add. I have no intention of being your personal cop - just wanted to point out that I had grave concerns about ONE piece of advice you offered. I wasn't intending to start WWIII, tho it seems that you and others in the group are intent on developing a flame war. Re your comment about risking "an anonymous post". I again think you do me an unfair wrong - I do not post anonymously - apart from the spam avoider, which is very clear to most people, my "from" address is real - test it if you wish. David 'Kate wrote: What gets me is he has knowledge and is so afraid of using it even in an anonymous news group. If he *could* help, if he had the information and the way to say it, he wouldn't. He'd rather be my personal cop. How can one work in the field and not care enough to risk an anonymous post? I may be opinionated or prideful or whatever else, but at least I've always been willing to share my thoughts and feelings as a single parent... I might even be of some service. shrug In any event, I'm here and I'm trying to be helpful. 'Kate |
#26
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Update of all updates
as I said in a previous post I
thought the advice you gave was sound, except for the bit about sending the girl to funeral alone. If you have a different opinion why not just say "Well here's another POV, I don't think she should go by herself" - why do you need to criticize Kate because she has different advice than you do? The whole idea of this ng is to get different opinions, and then people make up their own minds. It does seem kind of weird that you seemed more interested in going off on Kate for giving advice that you didn't agree with than giving the OP your own advice. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#27
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Update of all updates
Joelle wrote: as I said in a previous post I thought the advice you gave was sound, except for the bit about sending the girl to funeral alone. If you have a different opinion why not just say "Well here's another POV, I don't think she should go by herself" - why do you need to criticize Kate because she has different advice than you do? Hi Joelle Having read some of Kate's previous posts I (apparently incorrectly) assumed she was professionally qualified - here in Oz you wouldn't be accepted into a (legitimate) family therapy program without professional qualifications in psychology or social work, or perhaps as an MD doing a psychiatry placement. Hence being accepted into such a program indicated two things - first that it was a University Based program or one run by a professional body (other programs take anyone who is willing to pay) and second that she has had extensive experience as a qualified therapist. And while I never intimated that she was giving that advice as a professional service, the nature of her advice was so contrary to good practice, and so out of charactor to other advice of hers that I was rather dumbfounded. It just didn't fit. The whole idea of this ng is to get different opinions, and then people make up their own minds. It seems that this only applies to Kate though - when I expressed my opinion about Kate's post I was attacked and criticised. And rather than dispute my views with legitimate debate and discussion, the attacks were personal. Now, I am old enough and ugly enough to deal with those sorts of attacks - especially by boys like Paul who don't even bother to check their facts - but I would much prefer to engage in rational debate. I just trust all this garbage hasn't caused distress to Tiffany, who I believe has made very wise decisions about handling the whole issue. It does seem kind of weird that you seemed more interested in going off on Kate for giving advice that you didn't agree with than giving the OP your own advice. As I have said in another post, I had nothing more to add to the discussion - as I thought Kate had covered most of the issues very well. regards David |
#28
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"quietguy" wrote in message ... Paul, while I generally try not to be nasty, and never mind relevent criticism, to I say get nicked. Go back and read some of the posts about this situation before shooting of your silly little mouth/keyboard. snicker ASSuming once again......let me guess...you worked for the guvmint.......your attitude is sooooooooooooooooo typical. BTW you are the one that totally missed the gist of the previous posts. For "20+ years of self proclaimed social work......you are FOS. Your 'ad hom' attack is duly noted as a lack of any real rebuttal.........is that how you practiced your 'social work' as well snicker David Paul Fritz wrote: 'Kate wrote in message ... On Sun, 02 May 2004 09:48:59 +1000, quietguy Christine, it seems that while you are happy to attack me, (and that is OK) it would be much more meaningfull if you showed somehow that you had at least read my post in full. As you will note in a post where I have responded to Kate, I believe the advice she gave about sending a very young, confused, and distressed child to attend a funeral by herself to be irresponsible and inapproriate. And despite what you say, I didn't chuck her whole post, just the bit about sending Sage off to funeral by herself You have trouble with the word IF don't you? You'd think that after 20+ years of 'social work' the guy wuold have better reading comprehension than what he shows here. '13-14' yo is not "very young', nor likely confused, and nowhere did anyone say attedninf by herself. The only irresponsiblity is the self proclaimed social worker and his ASSuming........ |
#29
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Update of all updates
"quietguy" wrote in message ... Joelle wrote: as I said in a previous post I thought the advice you gave was sound, except for the bit about sending the girl to funeral alone. If you have a different opinion why not just say "Well here's another POV, I don't think she should go by herself" - why do you need to criticize Kate because she has different advice than you do? Hi Joelle Having read some of Kate's previous posts I (apparently incorrectly) assumed she was professionally qualified - here in Oz you wouldn't be accepted into a (legitimate) family therapy program without professional qualifications in psychology or social work, or perhaps as an MD doing a psychiatry placement. Hence being accepted into such a program indicated two things - first that it was a University Based program or one run by a professional body (other programs take anyone who is willing to pay) and second that she has had extensive experience as a qualified therapist. And while I never intimated that she was giving that advice as a professional service, the nature of her advice was so contrary to good practice, and so out of charactor to other advice of hers that I was rather dumbfounded. It just didn't fit. The whole idea of this ng is to get different opinions, and then people make up their own minds. It seems that this only applies to Kate though - when I expressed my opinion about Kate's post I was attacked and criticised. And rather than dispute my views with legitimate debate and discussion, the attacks were personal. snicker better look in the mirror as to who is doing the personal attacking. Now, I am old enough and ugly enough to deal with those sorts of attacks - especially by boys like Paul who don't even bother to check their facts - but I would much prefer to engage in rational debate. Nothing like wearing your hypocrisy on your sleeve.....what a mar00n I just trust all this garbage hasn't caused distress to Tiffany, who I believe has made very wise decisions about handling the whole issue. Garbage like you have strewn???? It does seem kind of weird that you seemed more interested in going off on Kate for giving advice that you didn't agree with than giving the OP your own advice. As I have said in another post, I had nothing more to add to the discussion - as I thought Kate had covered most of the issues very well. Yet you keep posting.......hypocrite. regards David |
#30
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Update of all updates
Having read some of Kate's previous posts I (apparently incorrectly) assumed
she was professionally qualified - here in Oz you wouldn't be accepted into a (legitimate) family therapy program without professional qualifications in Okay, this isn't Oz, and you don't have to be professionally qualified to give advice, you say you understand that, but you don't seem to. and then people make up their own minds. It seems that this only applies to Kate though - when I expressed my opinion about Kate's post I was attacked and criticised. And rather than dispute my views with legitimate debate and discussion, the attacks were personal. Because YOU made it personal. Instead of simply disagreeing with her advice you made it abotu Kate. Now you are unhappy because it turned personal? You thought you could turn this to be about Kate and it wouldn't come back to bite you on the butt? You may be some great therapist and father, but just from how you handled yourself here, you seem kind of clueless to me. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
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