A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » alt.support » Single Parents
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

Thanks, things to say, rough start, second chances, etc



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old September 19th 04, 04:04 AM
slykitten
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Thanks, things to say, rough start, second chances, etc

Hiyas,
First, thanks for the replies and help with my question. I've taken
everything I've read (even some of what i considered somewhat nasty
criticism) and have made some lists of what's real, what I'd like to be
real, what I think my son feels is real and now I'm going to talk with him
about this stuff... actually, I'm going to sit with my sig other and my son
and we're going to talk this stuff through.
Second, I know I haven't necessarily given everyone a fair shake. I came
into this group initially hoping to find others who felt that single
parenthood sucked and hated the fact that they were single parents and felt
that they were being screwed by the system the way I was. Instead, I found
people in this group who've had some rough patches, who are doing the best
they can, and who take it a day at a time in many cases. (based on some of
the threads and the lurking and even what i've read in the FAQ that I've
saved for future reference)
3rd, I tend to do lots of thinking either while in bubble baths or in the
shower and tonight, while I was in the shower I got to thinking about what
someone had said about my illness scaring the hell out of my son. When I was
younger and my mom was pregnant with my youngest brother, she was in the
hospital with bleeding colitis. I was so scared that she'd die. I was about
8ish. So I guess I was about the same age as my own son is. I remember
hearing my dad crying in the bathroom at night while mom was in the
hospital, begging "God" not to take her, to make her better again and to
please take him if "God" had to take someone from our family. I'll never
forget that. Well, Last night, my sig other and I were talking about
something similar.... about the fact that my diverticulitis was so bad that
had I waited a day or two to get it treated (in other words, had I not gone
to the ER last friday and waited til monday) I could have ended up with
Sepsis and very possibly have died. I know it sounds awfully dramatic and
that some who are reading this are probably rolling their eyes muttering
"drama queen" but the best way it was described to me by the doctor was
this.... if you took a sterile tube and drove it through your leg, you
wouldn't get an infection (or your chances are minimized) but the center of
that hollow tube becomes infested with germs, etc. The diverticulitis is
kinda like the infestation of germs getting out of hand and almost causing a
rupture. that rupture could have infected my entire body and boy would that
have been a hell of a mess! To an 8 year old kid, knowing that mommy is so
sick with a raging fever and tubes hanging out all over the place with
bruises on both arms because of collapsing veins, yeah, I can see the fear.
It's actually not hard putting myself into his shoes... I was there once.
4th, my rough start.... is there room for second chances and is there a
chance for me to apologize for being something of a bitch? I don't mean to
come off as such. I was too quick to hit the filter button.... I'm gonna hit
the undo button. That's the nice thing about computer filters.... I can at
least undo that but what I've typed.... that can't be undone because that's
already been sent and all I can do is apologize for being nasty.
All I can say is that as i feel better, I hope that I'll be able to
contribute a little more.... I may slip in and out of lurk mode just because
there's still lots to learn.... I think I've said what I wanted to... I just
hope that those who've I've had bad pasts with in other groups who I've met
up with here I can just bury the hatchet with and start over... if not, ok.
it's worth a shot. So anyhoo.... Thanks for the advice.... and even the
criticism.... I'll be trying some things using what I was given.

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery


  #2  
Old September 19th 04, 05:05 AM
CME
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"slykitten" wrote in message
...
Hiyas,
First, thanks for the replies and help with my question. I've taken
everything I've read (even some of what i considered somewhat nasty
criticism) and have made some lists of what's real, what I'd like to be
real, what I think my son feels is real and now I'm going to talk with him
about this stuff... actually, I'm going to sit with my sig other and my

son
and we're going to talk this stuff through.
Second, I know I haven't necessarily given everyone a fair shake. I came
into this group initially hoping to find others who felt that single
parenthood sucked and hated the fact that they were single parents and

felt
that they were being screwed by the system the way I was. Instead, I found
people in this group who've had some rough patches, who are doing the best
they can, and who take it a day at a time in many cases. (based on some of
the threads and the lurking and even what i've read in the FAQ that I've
saved for future reference)
3rd, I tend to do lots of thinking either while in bubble baths or in the
shower and tonight, while I was in the shower I got to thinking about what
someone had said about my illness scaring the hell out of my son. When I

was
younger and my mom was pregnant with my youngest brother, she was in the
hospital with bleeding colitis. I was so scared that she'd die. I was

about
8ish. So I guess I was about the same age as my own son is. I remember
hearing my dad crying in the bathroom at night while mom was in the
hospital, begging "God" not to take her, to make her better again and to
please take him if "God" had to take someone from our family. I'll never
forget that. Well, Last night, my sig other and I were talking about
something similar.... about the fact that my diverticulitis was so bad

that
had I waited a day or two to get it treated (in other words, had I not

gone
to the ER last friday and waited til monday) I could have ended up with
Sepsis and very possibly have died. I know it sounds awfully dramatic and
that some who are reading this are probably rolling their eyes muttering
"drama queen" but the best way it was described to me by the doctor was
this.... if you took a sterile tube and drove it through your leg, you
wouldn't get an infection (or your chances are minimized) but the center

of
that hollow tube becomes infested with germs, etc. The diverticulitis is
kinda like the infestation of germs getting out of hand and almost causing

a
rupture. that rupture could have infected my entire body and boy would

that
have been a hell of a mess! To an 8 year old kid, knowing that mommy is so
sick with a raging fever and tubes hanging out all over the place with
bruises on both arms because of collapsing veins, yeah, I can see the

fear.
It's actually not hard putting myself into his shoes... I was there once.
4th, my rough start.... is there room for second chances and is there a
chance for me to apologize for being something of a bitch? I don't mean to
come off as such. I was too quick to hit the filter button.... I'm gonna

hit
the undo button. That's the nice thing about computer filters.... I can at
least undo that but what I've typed.... that can't be undone because

that's
already been sent and all I can do is apologize for being nasty.
All I can say is that as i feel better, I hope that I'll be able to
contribute a little more.... I may slip in and out of lurk mode just

because
there's still lots to learn.... I think I've said what I wanted to... I

just
hope that those who've I've had bad pasts with in other groups who I've

met
up with here I can just bury the hatchet with and start over... if not,

ok.
it's worth a shot. So anyhoo.... Thanks for the advice.... and even the
criticism.... I'll be trying some things using what I was given.

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery



Hey if this group didn't believe in second chances, I personally wouldn't be
here.

Christine


  #3  
Old September 19th 04, 12:30 PM
lm
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On Sat, 18 Sep 2004 21:04:42 -0600, "slykitten"
wrote:


4th, my rough start.... is there room for second chances and is there a
chance for me to apologize for being something of a bitch? I don't mean to
come off as such.


You weren't a bitch, you were going through the rough patch. You don't
need anyone's permission to post here.

Peace and good health to you.

lm
  #4  
Old September 19th 04, 02:10 PM
Joelle
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I came
into this group initially hoping to find others who felt that single
parenthood sucked and hated the fact that they were single parents and felt
that they were being screwed by the system the way I was.


Well at the risk of having my butt busted for claiming to know how people feel,
my guess is that most people here have felt that way.

But what we've learned is that to stay in that mode is a sinkhole from which
there is no escape. And I've learned anyway, that sympathy in response to that
only throws you deeper in into that mudhole. There is no hope in that sinkhole.
So if the response seems rough, it's because we don't want to see anybody
lanquishing in that sinkhole any longer than they have to.

Instead, I found
people in this group who've had some rough patches, who are doing the best
they can, and who take it a day at a time in many cases


That's about it.



I know it sounds awfully dramatic and
that some who are reading this are probably rolling their eyes muttering
"drama queen"


Nope, my guess is most of us are happy to see you climbing out of the sinkhole.
But there's drama even on dry land!

All I can say is that as i feel better


That's a start.

Hang in there.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle
  #5  
Old September 20th 04, 06:06 PM
Karen O'Mara
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"slykitten" wrote in message ...
[snip]
All I can say is that as i feel better, I hope that I'll be able to
contribute a little more.... I may slip in and out of lurk mode just because
there's still lots to learn.... I think I've said what I wanted to... I just
hope that those who've I've had bad pasts with in other groups who I've met
up with here I can just bury the hatchet with and start over... if not, ok.
it's worth a shot. So anyhoo.... Thanks for the advice.... and even the
criticism.... I'll be trying some things using what I was given.


Gee don't apologize so much. It's okay. You've got a lot on your
plate. Better to rant here than take it out on your kid, or something.
I hope things continue to improve for you.

Karen
 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
misc.kids FAQ on Babyproofing - General Ideas [email protected] Info and FAQ's 1 August 29th 04 05:28 AM
misc.kids FAQ on Breastfeeding Past the First Year [email protected] Info and FAQ's 0 August 29th 04 05:28 AM
misc.kids FAQ on Good things about having kids [email protected] Info and FAQ's 0 July 29th 04 05:16 AM
misc.kids FAQ on Babyproofing - General Ideas [email protected] Info and FAQ's 1 July 29th 04 05:16 AM
misc.kids FAQ on Breastfeeding Past the First Year [email protected] Info and FAQ's 0 July 29th 04 05:16 AM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 12:51 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.