Need Help With 8 Year Old Son

Chris wrote:

[...]
That was a very nice and informative post, Sarah. I don't have any
recommendations for the OP, but I thought you did a great job with
yours!

Thank you! ;-)

Also, I would make it a point to never do what my mom did when my dad
left and I was 3-4. I remember it. It didn't scar me, but it was
obviously news enough to stick with me and I did think poorly of her
through my adolescence - you know--about how my mom could be so
unfeeling and mean. lol. I remember crying my eyes out saying I wanted
my daddie, over and over and over and over again, in my room. I can
remember what my room looked like. I don't remember why I was doing
that, but I DO remember my mom sticking her head in through the door
and screaming the following at me..."You're father is NEVER coming
back." As an adult mother myself now, I can only imagine what she must
have been feeling herself with 3 young children to support at the age
of 21-22, but it took until that time for me to even remotely imagine
what she was going through.

Yes, that's a good point - the loss of your husband can hit you so hard
emotionally, it's even more difficult to find enough in yourself to deal
with anyone else's needs. It can help a lot to focus on seeing it as
all of you being on the same side in dealing with a hard situation,
rather than as your son being your opponent (it's so easy to fall into
the trap of seeing things that way).

Another point I hadn't thought of before - what's happening with the
loss of his father, and what does he understand about what's going on
there? I wasn't clear from the post whether the problem is divorce or
death. If the former, then is he still in touch with his father, or is
there any chance of arranging this? Children in this situation can end
up blaming themselves and thinking it must be something they did to
drive their father away. Or sometimes they blame their mother and think
she must have done something wrong - a big strain on mother-child
relationships, as you can imagine! So, as has been mentioned, family
therapy may be a help in bringing these problems out into the open &
discussing them.


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

Pologirl wrote:
Hm, "Asanchez1977" is u40164@uwe, so quite likely a troll, or at least
not the original author.

Pologirl
You think everybody is a troll

"Illiana" u38194@uwe wrote:
You think everybody is a troll

Nah. A troll is as a troll does. You yourself illustrate that
principle.

Pologirl

On Dec 27, 4:22 pm, Pologirl wrote:
Hm, "Asanchez1977" is u40164@uwe, so quite likely a troll, or at least
not the original author.

Pologirl

Some methods of posting on Usenet allow for the posting name to differ
from the email address. I don't think their being very different
indicates a troll. Clicking "Find messages by this author" using
Google Groups did not indicate any other messages by u40164@uwe, and
the original message looked legitimate to me and other people,
including you -- you posted a serious reply.

Maybe you should apologize to the OP for making groundless
accusations.

On Fri, 2007-12-28 at 13:07 -0800, Beliavsky wrote:
On Dec 27, 4:22 pm, Pologirl wrote:
Hm, "Asanchez1977" is u40164@uwe, so quite likely a troll, or at least
not the original author.

Pologirl

Some methods of posting on Usenet allow for the posting name to differ
from the email address. I don't think their being very different
indicates a troll. Clicking "Find messages by this author" using
Google Groups did not indicate any other messages by u40164@uwe, and
the original message looked legitimate to me and other people,
including you -- you posted a serious reply.

Maybe you should apologize to the OP for making groundless
accusations.

Anything @uwe comes "familykb", a website that purports to be a support
group, but is just a front to usenet.

On Dec 28, 5:39 pm, dejablues wrote:
On Fri, 2007-12-28 at 13:07 -0800, Beliavsky wrote:
On Dec 27, 4:22 pm, Pologirl wrote:
Hm, "Asanchez1977" is u40164@uwe, so quite likely a troll, or at least
not the original author.

Pologirl

Some methods of posting on Usenet allow for the posting name to differ
from the email address. I don't think their being very different
indicates a troll. Clicking "Find messages by this author" using
Google Groups did not indicate any other messages by u40164@uwe, and
the original message looked legitimate to me and other people,
including you -- you posted a serious reply.

Maybe you should apologize to the OP for making groundless
accusations.

Anything @uwe comes "familykb", a website that purports to be a support
group, but is just a front to usenet.

What's wrong with providing a "front" to Usenet? That's also what
Google Groups does. Obviously, a message should be judged by its
content, and perhaps by its author, if he or she develops a
"reputation", but it should not be judged
solely by how it reached Usenet.

"Beliavsky" wrote in message
...
On Dec 28, 5:39 pm, dejablues wrote:
On Fri, 2007-12-28 at 13:07 -0800, Beliavsky wrote:
On Dec 27, 4:22 pm, Pologirl wrote:
Hm, "Asanchez1977" is u40164@uwe, so quite likely a troll, or at
least
not the original author.

Pologirl

Some methods of posting on Usenet allow for the posting name to differ
from the email address. I don't think their being very different
indicates a troll. Clicking "Find messages by this author" using
Google Groups did not indicate any other messages by u40164@uwe, and
the original message looked legitimate to me and other people,
including you -- you posted a serious reply.

Maybe you should apologize to the OP for making groundless
accusations.

Anything @uwe comes "familykb", a website that purports to be a support
group, but is just a front to usenet.

What's wrong with providing a "front" to Usenet? That's also what
Google Groups does. Obviously, a message should be judged by its
content, and perhaps by its author, if he or she develops a
"reputation", but it should not be judged
solely by how it reached Usenet.

The OP has not responded, nor will he/she, so no reputation will be formed.

Websites that provide a "front" to Usenet fool their "members" into thinking
they are posting to an exclusive forum, while their posts are propagated to
Usenet at large.

Google Groups is a cesspool , as far as I'm concerned .
Instead of allowing greater access to Usenet, Google Groups has injected it
with clueless newbs and become a portal for spam.

What I resent about familykb is they *conceal* the fact that much
(all?) of their content originates on Usenet. They are not just
another ISP that provides access to Usenet newsgroups.

Dejablues wrote:
Google Groups is a cesspool , as far as I'm concerned .
Instead of allowing greater access to Usenet, Google Groups has injected it
with clueless newbs and become a portal for spam.

Usenet always did get regular injections of newbies. Everyone here
now was a newbie once. I like Google Groups better than Yahoo
Groups; at least Google Groups have some concept of threading.

Pologirl

Pologirl wrote in

ups.com:

Usenet always did get regular injections of newbies.
Everyone here now was a newbie once. I like Google Groups
better than Yahoo Groups; at least Google Groups have some
concept of threading.

yes, but Yahoo groups don't subject the entire Usenet world
to the idiocy or spam of their members. Yahoo groups are a
niche market, an easy way for a set of people with a
particular interest to get together online & blather on
without annoying those *not* interested.
Google opened a free-for-all, without posting any guidelines
for the entering n00bs and taking *zero* responsibility for
spammers & pests using their portal. even AOL smacked down the
idiots. Google doesn't give a rat's arse as long as they make
money. "do no harm" indeed
lee

In article ,
Beliavsky says...

On Dec 28, 5:39 pm, dejablues wrote:
On Fri, 2007-12-28 at 13:07 -0800, Beliavsky wrote:
On Dec 27, 4:22 pm, Pologirl wrote:
Hm, "Asanchez1977" is u40164@uwe, so quite likely a troll, or at least
not the original author.

Pologirl

Some methods of posting on Usenet allow for the posting name to differ
from the email address. I don't think their being very different
indicates a troll. Clicking "Find messages by this author" using
Google Groups did not indicate any other messages by u40164@uwe, and
the original message looked legitimate to me and other people,
including you -- you posted a serious reply.

Maybe you should apologize to the OP for making groundless
accusations.

Anything @uwe comes "familykb", a website that purports to be a support
group, but is just a front to usenet.

What's wrong with providing a "front" to Usenet? That's also what
Google Groups does. Obviously, a message should be judged by its
content, and perhaps by its author, if he or she develops a
"reputation", but it should not be judged
solely by how it reached Usenet.

Google groups is the old Dejanews Usenet archive, set up to allow access to
Usenet through there. It's long been associated with Usenet, follows Usenet
protocols (and some of its own, like x-no-archive) and does not represent itself
as something other than what it is.

Yahoo groups is quite a different thing - these are a completely separate set of
fora, accessible to individuals, and some extremely widely useful (like
Freecycle).


"FamilyKB" and similar sites misrepresent themselves and confuse the users. They
have no clue anyone is posting other than through the what they see. FamilyKB
also does deleterious things like setting up more than one Usenet newsgroup as
if it were a single forum.

I don't know if the particular poster in question is a troll or not (I think
not), but there is good reason to distinguish between what comes in from Google
groups and what comes in through these front websites that offer no original
content and are careless even about how they set up their interfaces, then
obtain revenue from advertisers.

I do think it's more a matter of educating those posting from there what that
website is about.

Banty