Children aren't 'bad' anymore, just afflicted

Children aren't 'bad' anymore, just afflicted

http://www.post-gazette.com/lifestyl...fe0722fnp7.asp

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

By Betsy Hart







Twice in one day last week, I was informed that my 2-year-old daughter
has a "sharing problem." First it was by a worker in the church nursery,
then later it was a sitter helping out with the kids at our pool.

















A "sharing problem?" Oh, no!

My daughter does, of course, have a fundamental disorder. It's called
belonging to the human race.

What can sometimes make a 2-year-old throwing a tantrum over not getting
his way remotely amusing is that he's about 35 inches and 30 pounds. The
same behavior in a 6-foot, 200-pound fellow would be terrifying. And the
only thing that keeps the grown-up from having that behavior is
civilizing influences that say, "You can't do that."

But lately it seems that fewer parents, and very few parenting
"experts," want to admit that children need civilizing by their parents
and their culture. Rather than recognizing that children are loving,
darling, but utterly self-centered creatures who need to be trained away
from a naturally tyrannical "me" impulse, our culture has come to think
of them as perfectible little dears who just need a nudge here or there
in the right direction. In this view, reasoning, building self-esteem
and communication should be all that the inherently good little child
requires.

So, when the kids are still screaming, "Mom, he touched me!" or "No, I
won't!" or they're refusing to share toys, it can't be a part of the
fallen human condition -- it has to be a "disorder."

Thus we have what is today the most commonly diagnosed psychiatric
condition in children, "oppositional defiant disorder" (ODD). A case
study is 4-year-old Marianne, from the Web site of pediatric
psychiatrist Dr. James Chandler of the Royal College of Physicians and
Surgeons of Canada:

"... Marianne begins her day by getting up early and making noise. Her
father, unfortunately, has mentioned how much this bothers him. So she
turns on the TV, or ... bangs things around until her parents come out.
Breakfast is the first battleground of the day. ... She seems to be able
to sense how hurried her parents are. When they are very rushed, she is
more stubborn and might refuse [breakfast] altogether. It would be a
safe bet that she would tell her mom that the toast tastes like poop.
This gets her the first time-out of the day."

From there, things begin to go downhill. Interestingly, though Marianne
throws tantrums all day long with family, she rarely does it at
preschool -- as long as the other children do what she wants.

Marianne does not have a disorder. She is a child who has learned to
control those around her and who displays the thoroughly human tendency
of loving every minute of it -- though the odds are she's a miserable
child. (We KNOW her parents are miserable.) Marianne needs parents who
are willing to assert their authority, live up to their
responsibility -- and, for starters, give Marianne a loving spanking.
Otherwise, when she's older, she might display what's now called
"conduct disorder," though that shouldn't be confused with "disruptive
behavior disorder."

It's hoped she won't show signs of "selective mutism disorder"
(seriously), which is when a child who speaks well refuses to talk in
certain social situations. As in, "Tell Mr. Smith thank you," and the
child digs his heels in and clams up.

Without, for now, wading too far into the controversy surrounding
"attention deficit disorder" (ADD), it's worth noting that even its
greatest advocates generally agree that the condition is at least
overdiagnosed.

Certainly children can have real psychological pathologies and even
psychoses. But it's clear that more and more "experts" want to see
normal, healthy kids as perfectible, despite all evidence to the
contrary. So now kids don't misbehave, or act downright rotten or
selfish, they aren't incredibly strong-willed or even just shy
anymore -- they have "disorders" that have to be somehow "managed," too
often with pharmaceuticals.

What's next? "Complaining disorder," "bad attitude disorder,"
"won't-clean-up-the-room disorder"? Sigh. The ones who lose out are the
kids.

Back to my daughter with the "sharing problem." I was glad for the
insight. Now I can look for more opportunities for her to practice
"taking turns" (the best way to explain "sharing") and where she can be
lovingly civilized when she refuses to do so. After all, I don't want
her "sharing problem" to turn into a "sharing disorder."

I will also remind myself, again, that raising and training children is
a long, exasperating, joyful, difficult, wonderful, repetitive process;
it never ends in perfection, and I'll love and enjoy my kids to pieces
anyway.



------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------

"JG" wrote in message
...
Children aren't 'bad' anymore, just afflicted

Ooops! Sorry about the big gaps! :-D

JG, please stop making a fool of yourself. We have already discussed
that you and others who complain about pediatric psychiatry are
frequently misinformed and reveal their ignorance through their
protests. People like you with little real experience in the diagnosis
and management of various psychiatric conditions can continue to write
articles to each other loaded with various amounts of half-truths,
misunderstandings, and utter nonsense, and grin at each other as you
delude yourselves into thinking that you actually know the truth and
that those of us working with children for real are simply fools, but
those of us who actually understand these conditions will continue to
work on unfazed, just as evolutionists just chuckle and move on when
someone protests, "How could a chicken lay an egg and a lizard come
out! My grandparents weren't monkeys!!" Read on.

On Tue, 29 Jul 2003 22:25:04 GMT, "JG" wrote:

Children aren't 'bad' anymore, just afflicted

http://www.post-gazette.com/lifestyl...fe0722fnp7.asp

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

By Betsy Hart

A former White House spokesperson now mass-media commentator.

Twice in one day last week, I was informed that my 2-year-old daughter
has a "sharing problem." First it was by a worker in the church nursery,
then later it was a sitter helping out with the kids at our pool.

A "sharing problem?" Oh, no!

My daughter does, of course, have a fundamental disorder. It's called
belonging to the human race.

Yes, 2-year-old children do have sharing problems. They don't like to
share. That's the problem. It's normal.

Thus we have what is today the most commonly diagnosed psychiatric
condition in children, "oppositional defiant disorder" (ODD).

Where in the world does she get the idea that ODD is "the most
commonly diagnosed psychiatric condition in children?"

It's hoped she won't show signs of "selective mutism disorder"
(seriously), which is when a child who speaks well refuses to talk in
certain social situations. As in, "Tell Mr. Smith thank you," and the
child digs his heels in and clams up.

Selective mutism in a two-year-old is NOT a "disorder." It is
COMPLETELY NORMAL.

PF

"PF Riley" wrote
Thus we have what is today the most commonly diagnosed psychiatric
condition in children, "oppositional defiant disorder" (ODD).
Where in the world does she get the idea that ODD is "the most
commonly diagnosed psychiatric condition in children?"

It ought to be -- just about all kids have it.

It's hoped she won't show signs of "selective mutism disorder"
(seriously), which is when a child who speaks well refuses to talk in
certain social situations. As in, "Tell Mr. Smith thank you," and the
child digs his heels in and clams up.
Selective mutism in a two-year-old is NOT a "disorder." It is
COMPLETELY NORMAL.

The child shrinks consider it a disorder. You can read more about
it here.
http://www.selectivemutism.org/

"JG" wrote in message t...
Children aren't 'bad' anymore, just afflicted

http://www.post-gazette.com/lifestyl...fe0722fnp7.asp

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

By Betsy Hart



It's hoped she won't show signs of "selective mutism disorder"
(seriously), which is when a child who speaks well refuses to talk in
certain social situations. As in, "Tell Mr. Smith thank you," and the
child digs his heels in and clams up.

Holy Cow! This is now a recognized mental disorder?

Without, for now, wading too far into the controversy surrounding
"attention deficit disorder" (ADD), it's worth noting that even its
greatest advocates generally agree that the condition is at least
overdiagnosed.

Certainly children can have real psychological pathologies and even
psychoses. But it's clear that more and more "experts" want to see
normal, healthy kids as perfectible, despite all evidence to the
contrary. So now kids don't misbehave, or act downright rotten or
selfish, they aren't incredibly strong-willed or even just shy
anymore -- they have "disorders" that have to be somehow "managed," too
often with pharmaceuticals.

What's next? "Complaining disorder," "bad attitude disorder,"
"won't-clean-up-the-room disorder"? Sigh. The ones who lose out are the
kids.

Well, it's not unheard of for a society to occilate between two
extremes. I'm glad to see us move away from the "A good spanking is
what he/she needs" mindset that used to be so prevalent, but I'm sorry
to see us move so far down the road towards defining such behavior as
a *problem* and treating it with pharmaceuticals. It will be
interesting to see where we are at in another 50 years or so. Hope I
live that long.

"abacus" wrote
It's hoped she won't show signs of "selective mutism disorder"
(seriously), which is when a child who speaks well refuses to talk in
certain social situations. As in, "Tell Mr. Smith thank you," and the
child digs his heels in and clams up.
Holy Cow! This is now a recognized mental disorder?

Yes. I thought it might be a joke, but it is listed in the DSM-IV.

JG wrote:

Children aren't 'bad' anymore, just afflicted

http://www.post-gazette.com/lifestyl...fe0722fnp7.asp

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

By Betsy Hart







Twice in one day last week, I was informed that my 2-year-old daughter
has a "sharing problem." First it was by a worker in the church nursery,
then later it was a sitter helping out with the kids at our pool.

A "sharing problem?" Oh, no!

Let's go back to the old ways and call her a selfish brat.

Roger Schlafly wrote:

"PF Riley" wrote

Thus we have what is today the most commonly diagnosed psychiatric
condition in children, "oppositional defiant disorder" (ODD).

Where in the world does she get the idea that ODD is "the most
commonly diagnosed psychiatric condition in children?"


It ought to be -- just about all kids have it.


It's hoped she won't show signs of "selective mutism disorder"
(seriously), which is when a child who speaks well refuses to talk in
certain social situations. As in, "Tell Mr. Smith thank you," and the
child digs his heels in and clams up.

Selective mutism in a two-year-old is NOT a "disorder." It is
COMPLETELY NORMAL.


The child shrinks consider it a disorder. You can read more about
it here.
http://www.selectivemutism.org/

Riley stated that in a two-year-old it i snormal. Nothing on the cited
web page refutes that. The webpages, and the links, refer to kids in
school.

"PF Riley" wrote in message
...

JG, please stop making a fool of yourself. We have already discussed
that you and others who complain about pediatric psychiatry are
frequently misinformed and reveal their ignorance through their
protests.

Bwahaha! Are you telling me I'm not behaving properly (let alone
*perfectly*!)? Jeez, I must have some sort of DISORDER, huh? g (I
mean, like, you know, *denying* that I have any disorder is probably in
itself a disorder, right? What's denying that I have a "denial
disorder"? Grounds for commitment? ;o) ...Methinks you have PAD
(Pompous Ass Disorder), PF!

JG

The fact that I have no remedy for all the sorrows of the world is no
reason for my accepting yours. It simply supports the strong probability
that yours is a fake.

"Roger Schlafly" wrote in message
t...

"abacus" wrote

It's hoped she won't show signs of "selective mutism disorder"
(seriously), which is when a child who speaks well refuses to talk
in
certain social situations. As in, "Tell Mr. Smith thank you," and
the
child digs his heels in and clams up.

Holy Cow! This is now a recognized mental disorder?

Yes. I thought it might be a joke, but it is listed in the DSM-IV.

Betsy Hart hit the nail on the head: If a child isn't perfect--if
he/she doesn't perform or behave "perfectly" (according to "experts," I
suppose)--it's OBVIOUSLY snicker because of some disorder or another.
Of course there are no longer any dumb as dirt, er, "underachieving"
kids; if Johnny can't add 2 and 2 together and get 4, it's simply
because he has "Mathematics Disorder." (As Dave Barry would say, "I'm
not making this up"):
http://www.athealth.com/Consumer/disorders/Math.html

"What is a mathematics disorder?

Students with a mathematics disorder have problems with their math
skills. Their math skills are significantly below normal considering the
student's age, intelligence, and education. The poor math skills cause
problems with the student's academic success and other important areas
in the student's life...."

(Roger, your kids are probably not susceptible g:

"Are there genetic factors associated with a mathematics disorder?

It is possible that some people have problems in math because of their
genetic makeup. In contrast to some families whose members have great
difficulty solving math problems, there are other families who tend to
have members that consistently have a very high-level of math
functioning.")

JG

....everything is too important ever to be entrusted to professional
experts, because every organization of such professionals and every
established social organization becomes a vested-interest institution
more concerned with its efforts to maintain itself or advance its own
interests than to achieve the purpose that society expects it to
achieve.
--Carroll Quigley