I'm kind of cheesed off!

I dont' get bothered by the one card phenomenon, and C&E have never
seemed bothered by it, either. The way I see it, there are both good
aspects and bad aspects to being a twin, but I think that in the long
run, the good aspects -- companionship, as well as early skill in
negotiating and diplomacy, resulting from things like dealing with one
gift/card -- far outweigh the bad.

With the fire truck situation, I would just buy a different, less
expensive ride-on toy. No need for the two ride-ons to be exactly
alike, nor in my opinion do I think it's desirable for one-year-olds to
become accustomed to always having two alike of something. But yes,
like a bike, like skis, like other things that I can't think of at the
moment but will come to me as soon as I hit send, a ride-on is something
of which it makes sense to have two. But they don't have to both be
fire trucks.

Just my two cents,

Julie
Mom to little diplomats Erica & Chris, 07/97

Megan Byrne wrote:

Oh Brigitte,
I could write a book on this and my guys are only one! I haven't said
anything about this on the NG's b/c I didn't want to seem selfish, but
as you know A & A's first b-day just passed. And the majority gave them
2 gifts and 2 cards, because, as we all know, they are TWO people. They
were a few "twin b-day" cards. Anyway, it seems like my IL's are dense.
Especially one SIL who is a teacher for goodness sake. She bought them 1
ride-on firetruck. Excuse me?? They love it, but so much that they fight
over it constantly. Screaming, pushing. I have to take it away from
them. So now, in one of my free moments, yeah right, I have to get
another one. And, money is not an issue for my SIL.

Anyway, that is my major, major vent. I am sure that we just have years
of this to come. I guess next time I have twins I should have themn at
11:59p and 12:01a. Would different days prove that they are different
people???

Megan
Mommy to miracle twins...
Aidan & Alexis
Born 9-28-02

Of course, I would buy them a different ride-on toy. Buying "another
one" just really meant another ride on. Maybe I will find a police car!!

Megan
Mommy to miracle twins...
Aidan & Alexis
Born 9-28-02

Of course, I would buy them a different ride-on toy. Buying "another
one" just really meant another ride on. Maybe I will find a police car!!

Megan
Mommy to miracle twins...
Aidan & Alexis
Born 9-28-02

You know this thread brings up a pet peeve of mine. Like some of you, I *do*
find importance/significance placed on the girls receiving their own cards. I
keep many things to make collages out of, etc. that they can choose to keep or
pitch when they get older. It also tends to stand for the "individual"
importance we place on them happening to be born at the same time. With that,
I also can easily see how some might not find it a big deal at all. My pet
peeve is this: The gift is for the receiver not for the giver. So, why is it
so hard for a giver to simply ask if there is a preference. I know, I
know...some people may not think to ask if they have no reason to believe
otherwise. But, I have relatives who I know are asking eachother what they are
doing about "the girls" and say they did what was easiest on them. I don't get
it. If someone is strapped for time or $ I truly believe a simple phone call
is the thought that would matter most. But, in my personal experience, it
seems givers often would rather just do what is easiest on them with little
thought. A MIL who would give a single card to both grandchildren? Seems
kinda frustrating to me. A SIL (who financially can) chooses to buy one
ride-on toy for toddlers to share may have simply chosen a gift she wasn't sure
that both children would like and just opted for one? Hopefully she did have
really good intentions, but why didn't she just ask? Hmm... me thinks I am
making a big rambling deal out of a thought Chalk it up to a typical Mom
needing some rest lol. Just got caught up in the thread.


Missy in Indiana http://hometown.aol.com/mhrust/overviewforng.html
Morgan Olivia & Julia Lucille 4/28/01 (YAY!)

You know this thread brings up a pet peeve of mine. Like some of you, I *do*
find importance/significance placed on the girls receiving their own cards. I
keep many things to make collages out of, etc. that they can choose to keep or
pitch when they get older. It also tends to stand for the "individual"
importance we place on them happening to be born at the same time. With that,
I also can easily see how some might not find it a big deal at all. My pet
peeve is this: The gift is for the receiver not for the giver. So, why is it
so hard for a giver to simply ask if there is a preference. I know, I
know...some people may not think to ask if they have no reason to believe
otherwise. But, I have relatives who I know are asking eachother what they are
doing about "the girls" and say they did what was easiest on them. I don't get
it. If someone is strapped for time or $ I truly believe a simple phone call
is the thought that would matter most. But, in my personal experience, it
seems givers often would rather just do what is easiest on them with little
thought. A MIL who would give a single card to both grandchildren? Seems
kinda frustrating to me. A SIL (who financially can) chooses to buy one
ride-on toy for toddlers to share may have simply chosen a gift she wasn't sure
that both children would like and just opted for one? Hopefully she did have
really good intentions, but why didn't she just ask? Hmm... me thinks I am
making a big rambling deal out of a thought Chalk it up to a typical Mom
needing some rest lol. Just got caught up in the thread.


Missy in Indiana http://hometown.aol.com/mhrust/overviewforng.html
Morgan Olivia & Julia Lucille 4/28/01 (YAY!)

"David desJardins" wrote in message
...
I personally sort of like the idea of giving one card. I guess I don't
much care for cards at all---they seem like a waste because they just
get thrown out soon after---so giving one instead of two seems like an
improvement. To the extent that the card has value, it's just as an
indicator that the giver has remembered and appreciates the event: I
don't think buying two cards instead of one card really indicates any
more appreciation.

Presents seem like a different matter.

David desJardins


I agree with you on this one, David. Most people around me seem to save
cards though, so I can understand why this would be important to people. I'm
one of those people that throws things like cards out quickly. I don't like
to hold onto things that, IMO, just cause clutter.


--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000

"David desJardins" wrote in message
...
I personally sort of like the idea of giving one card. I guess I don't
much care for cards at all---they seem like a waste because they just
get thrown out soon after---so giving one instead of two seems like an
improvement. To the extent that the card has value, it's just as an
indicator that the giver has remembered and appreciates the event: I
don't think buying two cards instead of one card really indicates any
more appreciation.

Presents seem like a different matter.

David desJardins


I agree with you on this one, David. Most people around me seem to save
cards though, so I can understand why this would be important to people. I'm
one of those people that throws things like cards out quickly. I don't like
to hold onto things that, IMO, just cause clutter.


--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000

Missy,
I forgot to add this,which really PO's me...the SIL that bought A & A
the ride-on toy, has also bought a ride-on toy for my 2 nephews on their
first b-day. That seems to be her "1st Bday" gift. Now, my 2 nephews,
who are not brothers, rec'd their own toy and I am sure that my 3rd
nephew, who will be 1 in March, will get his own. So, why didn't A & A??
Now, doesn't that make you even more teed?

Megan
Mommy to miracle twins...
Aidan & Alexis
Born 9-28-02

Missy,
I forgot to add this,which really PO's me...the SIL that bought A & A
the ride-on toy, has also bought a ride-on toy for my 2 nephews on their
first b-day. That seems to be her "1st Bday" gift. Now, my 2 nephews,
who are not brothers, rec'd their own toy and I am sure that my 3rd
nephew, who will be 1 in March, will get his own. So, why didn't A & A??
Now, doesn't that make you even more teed?

Megan
Mommy to miracle twins...
Aidan & Alexis
Born 9-28-02

So, why didn't A & A??
Now, doesn't that make you even more teed?

You bet! I kept trying to find a nice reason why she didn't get them their own
gift. But, I still didn't understand why she didn't just ask you first.
Sadly, it seems clear that benefit of the doubt isn't going to work for her.
Argh! That would have hurt my feelings or brought out the protective mama in
me at least in to a small extent. Let's face it, it stinks when our little
one(s) may not be treated as we believe they should. It kind of makes you
wonder if it will get better or worse with time as each birthday passes with
the relative. It's got to be frustrating for you.

Missy in Indiana http://hometown.aol.com/mhrust/overviewforng.html
Morgan Olivia & Julia Lucille 4/28/01 (YAY!)