Boy/Girl Anatomy - Ack! They are asking!!!

Actually, you are somewhat right. Dr. Lapke said that it's about 2 years
after the breast buds start that girls get their periods. So I assume it
will be about 10 or so. In addition, she is very tall for her age (tallest
in her class) and projected to be about my height 5'8". Right now she is
almost 5 feet tall. I'm assuming that this coming year will be a very big
growth stage for her. She's wearing size 0 for pants and size 9 shoes (well
some 8.5). I do know about the emotional side to this issue too as I had to
handle it. Again, I think having gone through it early I can help Kathleen
adjust too. Her best friend is exactly at the same stage of development as
she is so hopefully they can go through this rite together.

Shirley

"Unadulterated Me" wrote in message
...
Chotii wrote:
"shirley" wrote in message
news:UuFDc.162499$3x.76282@attbi_s54...


Kathleen started to develop breasts at 8 and some odd and end hair!
Needless to say I rushed her to the doctor who said she was perfectly
normal. Since that day she has developed rapidly. At 9.5 (one more

month)

she is fully matured physically, growing daily and I swear she'll be
borrowing my bra's within no time - and my shoes - she wears a size
8.5-9.


I have no idea why your doctor considers onset of menarche at 8 to be
"perfectly normal". Little girls are not meant to be mature women at the
age
of 8, or 9, or 10. They're certainly not prepared emotionally to deal
with
the sexual attention they WILL get as a result of being sexually mature.
Not
to mention that early puberty puts her at higher risk for breast cancer
(and
by the way, could have been treated with estrogen-antagonist
medication). I
think you were right to rush her to the doctor. I think he did you a
disservice.

http://www.center4policy.org/children11.html

http://www.007b.com/early_puberty.php

http://www.drgreene.com/21_356.html

--angela




I don't think Shirley said she had started her period, only that her
breasts were growing and her physique was changing, that can start as
early as 8, though 8 is on the early side, from experience with my
daughters and their friends those that started developing around 9
tended to have their period by 11. Interestingly those girls are very
short and stocky/dumpy type physiques, not sure if early development
stunts the growth or if a stockier type body shape leads it's self to
earlier puberty. I know the earlier you get your period the shorter you
will be as once it starts upward growth is slowed considerably (why put
energy into going up when you need it for padding and filling) but not
sure if their is a correlation with simply pubescent development.

A

Actually, you are somewhat right. Dr. Lapke said that it's about 2 years
after the breast buds start that girls get their periods. So I assume it
will be about 10 or so. In addition, she is very tall for her age (tallest
in her class) and projected to be about my height 5'8". Right now she is
almost 5 feet tall. I'm assuming that this coming year will be a very big
growth stage for her. She's wearing size 0 for pants and size 9 shoes (well
some 8.5). I do know about the emotional side to this issue too as I had to
handle it. Again, I think having gone through it early I can help Kathleen
adjust too. Her best friend is exactly at the same stage of development as
she is so hopefully they can go through this rite together.

Shirley

"Unadulterated Me" wrote in message
...
Chotii wrote:
"shirley" wrote in message
news:UuFDc.162499$3x.76282@attbi_s54...


Kathleen started to develop breasts at 8 and some odd and end hair!
Needless to say I rushed her to the doctor who said she was perfectly
normal. Since that day she has developed rapidly. At 9.5 (one more

month)

she is fully matured physically, growing daily and I swear she'll be
borrowing my bra's within no time - and my shoes - she wears a size
8.5-9.


I have no idea why your doctor considers onset of menarche at 8 to be
"perfectly normal". Little girls are not meant to be mature women at the
age
of 8, or 9, or 10. They're certainly not prepared emotionally to deal
with
the sexual attention they WILL get as a result of being sexually mature.
Not
to mention that early puberty puts her at higher risk for breast cancer
(and
by the way, could have been treated with estrogen-antagonist
medication). I
think you were right to rush her to the doctor. I think he did you a
disservice.

http://www.center4policy.org/children11.html

http://www.007b.com/early_puberty.php

http://www.drgreene.com/21_356.html

--angela




I don't think Shirley said she had started her period, only that her
breasts were growing and her physique was changing, that can start as
early as 8, though 8 is on the early side, from experience with my
daughters and their friends those that started developing around 9
tended to have their period by 11. Interestingly those girls are very
short and stocky/dumpy type physiques, not sure if early development
stunts the growth or if a stockier type body shape leads it's self to
earlier puberty. I know the earlier you get your period the shorter you
will be as once it starts upward growth is slowed considerably (why put
energy into going up when you need it for padding and filling) but not
sure if their is a correlation with simply pubescent development.

A

This certainly isn't meant to be any form of a scientific poll (didn't want you
to think I'm that crazy), but all 4 of my nieces from different families needed
their first bras at the age of 8. 2 of them are adults and have average B and
C cups. I recall talking with my friends of older children and learning that
this is very normal in their homes as well.

Also, each generation shows an earlier age of puberty than the one before.
Just as feet are larger, people avg. a taller height, babies are born at a
heavier avg. weight, etc. I wouldn't give a second thought to there being
anything wrong or unusual with your daughter. She sounds perfectly normal and
so does your doctor, IMO.


Missy in Indiana http://hometown.aol.com/mhrust/overviewforng.html
Morgan Olivia & Julia Lucille 4/28/01 (YAY!)

This certainly isn't meant to be any form of a scientific poll (didn't want you
to think I'm that crazy), but all 4 of my nieces from different families needed
their first bras at the age of 8. 2 of them are adults and have average B and
C cups. I recall talking with my friends of older children and learning that
this is very normal in their homes as well.

Also, each generation shows an earlier age of puberty than the one before.
Just as feet are larger, people avg. a taller height, babies are born at a
heavier avg. weight, etc. I wouldn't give a second thought to there being
anything wrong or unusual with your daughter. She sounds perfectly normal and
so does your doctor, IMO.


Missy in Indiana http://hometown.aol.com/mhrust/overviewforng.html
Morgan Olivia & Julia Lucille 4/28/01 (YAY!)

This certainly isn't meant to be any form of a scientific poll (didn't want you
to think I'm that crazy), but all 4 of my nieces from different families needed
their first bras at the age of 8. 2 of them are adults and have average B and
C cups. I recall talking with my friends of older children and learning that
this is very normal in their homes as well.

Also, each generation shows an earlier age of puberty than the one before.
Just as feet are larger, people avg. a taller height, babies are born at a
heavier avg. weight, etc. I wouldn't give a second thought to there being
anything wrong or unusual with your daughter. She sounds perfectly normal and
so does your doctor, IMO.


Missy in Indiana http://hometown.aol.com/mhrust/overviewforng.html
Morgan Olivia & Julia Lucille 4/28/01 (YAY!)

First I want to say that I am a long-term poster here who normally uses a
different name. Since parts of this might embarrass my kids down the line,
I have changed user names and won't name my kids, but just say that they are
6yo. That way, hopefully years from now when one of their schoolmates
discovers google groups, my kids won't be embarrassed.

The subject first came up at our house in the bathtub when the kids were 2
and my daughter asked about my son's penis and noted that she didn't have
one. I had once read that one should avoid the explanation that "boys have
penises and girls don't" as it might imply that girls are missing something,
so instead to say "Boys have penises and girls have vaginas." Both of my
kids subsequently mispronounced the parts -- "peanuts" and "ginas". My
daughter would occasionally repeat to me (usually in the produce aisle of
the supermarket, or the library, or some other public place...) "Boys have
peanuts, girls have gina". No one who heard this EVER figured out what she
was really trying to say, and I never corrected her pronunciation as that
way I didn't have to worry as much about the supermarket clerks getting an
anatomy lesson from a 2-year-old. Her brother continued to say "peanuts"
for penis until he was nearly 4 or so (and I did at one point explain that
it had nothing to do with the "peanuts" that come in a jar or in
peanutbutter).

Anyway, I agree that real words should be used whenever possible when the
child asks questions (though no need, imho, to introduce topics that the
kids haven't expressed an interest in), and since Jenna is specifically
saying "No, mama, what's it called?", I like Helen's response.

I will add that I have not yet told my daughter about menstruation, as she
gets COMPLETELY flipped out by blood (not pain, just blood), and she's not
quite ready for it. She's getting better on this one, though.


"looneybird" wrote in message
...
For all of you out there, especially with b/g twins, or b/g children
period
I guess... here goes. I knew this dreaded day would come.

Charlie has known for over a year now that he pees from him penis. Around
that same time, also asked what Jenna had. So, we've just always kept
it
simple by saying that "Boys have penises, and girls don't." He was always
satisfied with that answer. Then she started asking too, and we told her
the same thing. Pretty satisfied. Then it was "Do you have a penis,
Mommy?" "No, Mommy is a girl, so no penis." Satisfied.

Recently, Jenna has become frustrated with that answer and wants more
specifics. She'll say "No, Mommy... what is it (pointing to herself)
*called*?"

We decided early on that we weren't going to use baby talk (pee pee,
winkie,
etc.) and decided to tell them both the correct term for their anatomical
parts. Penis was easy. I have a real problem with telling her that
*her's*
is a vagina. We are absolutely *not* talking about her vagina, we are
talking about where her urine comes from, right?

So, I decided to tell her that it is her urethra. DH pointed out "Well,
men
have urethras too." So I thought maybe "urethral *opening*? How's that
for a mouthful... especially for a 4 year old! Now she's been pointing to
it saying "This is my Aretha!"

What are some of the solutions you have used? Any advice? As flustered
as
I probably sound in this post, I actually remain quite calm and usually
answer very matter of factly and divert their attention... "Yes, Charlie
has
a penis and you have a urethra... You have a nose and so does Charlie!
What else do you have that Charlie has?" Oh... and she's been asking
about
breasts. Up until now, I've just called it her chest. When she asks
about
why mine is different, I just explain that girls chests grow as they get
older.

I'm obviously *not* ready for all this! LOL Someone help me!

Lynn (Mommy to Charlie and Jenna 8/30/00)

First I want to say that I am a long-term poster here who normally uses a
different name. Since parts of this might embarrass my kids down the line,
I have changed user names and won't name my kids, but just say that they are
6yo. That way, hopefully years from now when one of their schoolmates
discovers google groups, my kids won't be embarrassed.

The subject first came up at our house in the bathtub when the kids were 2
and my daughter asked about my son's penis and noted that she didn't have
one. I had once read that one should avoid the explanation that "boys have
penises and girls don't" as it might imply that girls are missing something,
so instead to say "Boys have penises and girls have vaginas." Both of my
kids subsequently mispronounced the parts -- "peanuts" and "ginas". My
daughter would occasionally repeat to me (usually in the produce aisle of
the supermarket, or the library, or some other public place...) "Boys have
peanuts, girls have gina". No one who heard this EVER figured out what she
was really trying to say, and I never corrected her pronunciation as that
way I didn't have to worry as much about the supermarket clerks getting an
anatomy lesson from a 2-year-old. Her brother continued to say "peanuts"
for penis until he was nearly 4 or so (and I did at one point explain that
it had nothing to do with the "peanuts" that come in a jar or in
peanutbutter).

Anyway, I agree that real words should be used whenever possible when the
child asks questions (though no need, imho, to introduce topics that the
kids haven't expressed an interest in), and since Jenna is specifically
saying "No, mama, what's it called?", I like Helen's response.

I will add that I have not yet told my daughter about menstruation, as she
gets COMPLETELY flipped out by blood (not pain, just blood), and she's not
quite ready for it. She's getting better on this one, though.


"looneybird" wrote in message
...
For all of you out there, especially with b/g twins, or b/g children
period
I guess... here goes. I knew this dreaded day would come.

Charlie has known for over a year now that he pees from him penis. Around
that same time, also asked what Jenna had. So, we've just always kept
it
simple by saying that "Boys have penises, and girls don't." He was always
satisfied with that answer. Then she started asking too, and we told her
the same thing. Pretty satisfied. Then it was "Do you have a penis,
Mommy?" "No, Mommy is a girl, so no penis." Satisfied.

Recently, Jenna has become frustrated with that answer and wants more
specifics. She'll say "No, Mommy... what is it (pointing to herself)
*called*?"

We decided early on that we weren't going to use baby talk (pee pee,
winkie,
etc.) and decided to tell them both the correct term for their anatomical
parts. Penis was easy. I have a real problem with telling her that
*her's*
is a vagina. We are absolutely *not* talking about her vagina, we are
talking about where her urine comes from, right?

So, I decided to tell her that it is her urethra. DH pointed out "Well,
men
have urethras too." So I thought maybe "urethral *opening*? How's that
for a mouthful... especially for a 4 year old! Now she's been pointing to
it saying "This is my Aretha!"

What are some of the solutions you have used? Any advice? As flustered
as
I probably sound in this post, I actually remain quite calm and usually
answer very matter of factly and divert their attention... "Yes, Charlie
has
a penis and you have a urethra... You have a nose and so does Charlie!
What else do you have that Charlie has?" Oh... and she's been asking
about
breasts. Up until now, I've just called it her chest. When she asks
about
why mine is different, I just explain that girls chests grow as they get
older.

I'm obviously *not* ready for all this! LOL Someone help me!

Lynn (Mommy to Charlie and Jenna 8/30/00)

First I want to say that I am a long-term poster here who normally uses a
different name. Since parts of this might embarrass my kids down the line,
I have changed user names and won't name my kids, but just say that they are
6yo. That way, hopefully years from now when one of their schoolmates
discovers google groups, my kids won't be embarrassed.

The subject first came up at our house in the bathtub when the kids were 2
and my daughter asked about my son's penis and noted that she didn't have
one. I had once read that one should avoid the explanation that "boys have
penises and girls don't" as it might imply that girls are missing something,
so instead to say "Boys have penises and girls have vaginas." Both of my
kids subsequently mispronounced the parts -- "peanuts" and "ginas". My
daughter would occasionally repeat to me (usually in the produce aisle of
the supermarket, or the library, or some other public place...) "Boys have
peanuts, girls have gina". No one who heard this EVER figured out what she
was really trying to say, and I never corrected her pronunciation as that
way I didn't have to worry as much about the supermarket clerks getting an
anatomy lesson from a 2-year-old. Her brother continued to say "peanuts"
for penis until he was nearly 4 or so (and I did at one point explain that
it had nothing to do with the "peanuts" that come in a jar or in
peanutbutter).

Anyway, I agree that real words should be used whenever possible when the
child asks questions (though no need, imho, to introduce topics that the
kids haven't expressed an interest in), and since Jenna is specifically
saying "No, mama, what's it called?", I like Helen's response.

I will add that I have not yet told my daughter about menstruation, as she
gets COMPLETELY flipped out by blood (not pain, just blood), and she's not
quite ready for it. She's getting better on this one, though.


"looneybird" wrote in message
...
For all of you out there, especially with b/g twins, or b/g children
period
I guess... here goes. I knew this dreaded day would come.

Charlie has known for over a year now that he pees from him penis. Around
that same time, also asked what Jenna had. So, we've just always kept
it
simple by saying that "Boys have penises, and girls don't." He was always
satisfied with that answer. Then she started asking too, and we told her
the same thing. Pretty satisfied. Then it was "Do you have a penis,
Mommy?" "No, Mommy is a girl, so no penis." Satisfied.

Recently, Jenna has become frustrated with that answer and wants more
specifics. She'll say "No, Mommy... what is it (pointing to herself)
*called*?"

We decided early on that we weren't going to use baby talk (pee pee,
winkie,
etc.) and decided to tell them both the correct term for their anatomical
parts. Penis was easy. I have a real problem with telling her that
*her's*
is a vagina. We are absolutely *not* talking about her vagina, we are
talking about where her urine comes from, right?

So, I decided to tell her that it is her urethra. DH pointed out "Well,
men
have urethras too." So I thought maybe "urethral *opening*? How's that
for a mouthful... especially for a 4 year old! Now she's been pointing to
it saying "This is my Aretha!"

What are some of the solutions you have used? Any advice? As flustered
as
I probably sound in this post, I actually remain quite calm and usually
answer very matter of factly and divert their attention... "Yes, Charlie
has
a penis and you have a urethra... You have a nose and so does Charlie!
What else do you have that Charlie has?" Oh... and she's been asking
about
breasts. Up until now, I've just called it her chest. When she asks
about
why mine is different, I just explain that girls chests grow as they get
older.

I'm obviously *not* ready for all this! LOL Someone help me!

Lynn (Mommy to Charlie and Jenna 8/30/00)

"Chotii" wrote in message
...

And with all this said, if anybody has any suggestions on how to address
adult sexuality in ways that won't make the kids go EWWW!, I'd love to
know
them.

Recently my daughter (11) took a 7 week class from Planned Parenthood on
sexuality. It was offered by parent choice from a girls treatment for girls
with learning differences like my daughter. I was fearful that because she
learns differently she would end up getting into serious trouble sexually
because she's so gullible and doesn't always get social cues. Anyhow, the
class was unbelievably thorough and she actually came back knowing more
about sex than most high school grads. They were merciless in explaining how
to have safe sex, even to the point of explaining about dental dams. I'm
sorry, but even though I'm totally secure in teaching my kids about sex and
have never shied away from any topic so far, dental dams really never even
crossed my mind as a topic of discussion.

Because of this class my DD is completely and totally aware of all the
pitfalls of sexuality amongst young teens.She has met several pregnant young
teens, one of whom was raped by her stepfather, in this program, and she
really has the utmost respect for sexual promiscuity and the problems it can
cause. Just today she mentioned something about the Florence Crittenden
homes and what they're like.

I know this isn't for everyone, but it worked like a charm for my kid, who
was in a seriously dangerous position due to her learning differences. I
would recommend a class like this to any parent who is concerned that they
can't convey safe sex messages to young kids. And if you think 11 is too
young, get real. There are plenty of girls in the 11-13 yo age group who are
not only having sex, but having babies as well.

Marjorie

"Chotii" wrote in message
...

And with all this said, if anybody has any suggestions on how to address
adult sexuality in ways that won't make the kids go EWWW!, I'd love to
know
them.

Recently my daughter (11) took a 7 week class from Planned Parenthood on
sexuality. It was offered by parent choice from a girls treatment for girls
with learning differences like my daughter. I was fearful that because she
learns differently she would end up getting into serious trouble sexually
because she's so gullible and doesn't always get social cues. Anyhow, the
class was unbelievably thorough and she actually came back knowing more
about sex than most high school grads. They were merciless in explaining how
to have safe sex, even to the point of explaining about dental dams. I'm
sorry, but even though I'm totally secure in teaching my kids about sex and
have never shied away from any topic so far, dental dams really never even
crossed my mind as a topic of discussion.

Because of this class my DD is completely and totally aware of all the
pitfalls of sexuality amongst young teens.She has met several pregnant young
teens, one of whom was raped by her stepfather, in this program, and she
really has the utmost respect for sexual promiscuity and the problems it can
cause. Just today she mentioned something about the Florence Crittenden
homes and what they're like.

I know this isn't for everyone, but it worked like a charm for my kid, who
was in a seriously dangerous position due to her learning differences. I
would recommend a class like this to any parent who is concerned that they
can't convey safe sex messages to young kids. And if you think 11 is too
young, get real. There are plenty of girls in the 11-13 yo age group who are
not only having sex, but having babies as well.

Marjorie