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#1
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Thanks, things to say, rough start, second chances, etc
Hiyas,
First, thanks for the replies and help with my question. I've taken everything I've read (even some of what i considered somewhat nasty criticism) and have made some lists of what's real, what I'd like to be real, what I think my son feels is real and now I'm going to talk with him about this stuff... actually, I'm going to sit with my sig other and my son and we're going to talk this stuff through. Second, I know I haven't necessarily given everyone a fair shake. I came into this group initially hoping to find others who felt that single parenthood sucked and hated the fact that they were single parents and felt that they were being screwed by the system the way I was. Instead, I found people in this group who've had some rough patches, who are doing the best they can, and who take it a day at a time in many cases. (based on some of the threads and the lurking and even what i've read in the FAQ that I've saved for future reference) 3rd, I tend to do lots of thinking either while in bubble baths or in the shower and tonight, while I was in the shower I got to thinking about what someone had said about my illness scaring the hell out of my son. When I was younger and my mom was pregnant with my youngest brother, she was in the hospital with bleeding colitis. I was so scared that she'd die. I was about 8ish. So I guess I was about the same age as my own son is. I remember hearing my dad crying in the bathroom at night while mom was in the hospital, begging "God" not to take her, to make her better again and to please take him if "God" had to take someone from our family. I'll never forget that. Well, Last night, my sig other and I were talking about something similar.... about the fact that my diverticulitis was so bad that had I waited a day or two to get it treated (in other words, had I not gone to the ER last friday and waited til monday) I could have ended up with Sepsis and very possibly have died. I know it sounds awfully dramatic and that some who are reading this are probably rolling their eyes muttering "drama queen" but the best way it was described to me by the doctor was this.... if you took a sterile tube and drove it through your leg, you wouldn't get an infection (or your chances are minimized) but the center of that hollow tube becomes infested with germs, etc. The diverticulitis is kinda like the infestation of germs getting out of hand and almost causing a rupture. that rupture could have infected my entire body and boy would that have been a hell of a mess! To an 8 year old kid, knowing that mommy is so sick with a raging fever and tubes hanging out all over the place with bruises on both arms because of collapsing veins, yeah, I can see the fear. It's actually not hard putting myself into his shoes... I was there once. 4th, my rough start.... is there room for second chances and is there a chance for me to apologize for being something of a bitch? I don't mean to come off as such. I was too quick to hit the filter button.... I'm gonna hit the undo button. That's the nice thing about computer filters.... I can at least undo that but what I've typed.... that can't be undone because that's already been sent and all I can do is apologize for being nasty. All I can say is that as i feel better, I hope that I'll be able to contribute a little more.... I may slip in and out of lurk mode just because there's still lots to learn.... I think I've said what I wanted to... I just hope that those who've I've had bad pasts with in other groups who I've met up with here I can just bury the hatchet with and start over... if not, ok. it's worth a shot. So anyhoo.... Thanks for the advice.... and even the criticism.... I'll be trying some things using what I was given. -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery |
#2
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"slykitten" wrote in message ... Hiyas, First, thanks for the replies and help with my question. I've taken everything I've read (even some of what i considered somewhat nasty criticism) and have made some lists of what's real, what I'd like to be real, what I think my son feels is real and now I'm going to talk with him about this stuff... actually, I'm going to sit with my sig other and my son and we're going to talk this stuff through. Second, I know I haven't necessarily given everyone a fair shake. I came into this group initially hoping to find others who felt that single parenthood sucked and hated the fact that they were single parents and felt that they were being screwed by the system the way I was. Instead, I found people in this group who've had some rough patches, who are doing the best they can, and who take it a day at a time in many cases. (based on some of the threads and the lurking and even what i've read in the FAQ that I've saved for future reference) 3rd, I tend to do lots of thinking either while in bubble baths or in the shower and tonight, while I was in the shower I got to thinking about what someone had said about my illness scaring the hell out of my son. When I was younger and my mom was pregnant with my youngest brother, she was in the hospital with bleeding colitis. I was so scared that she'd die. I was about 8ish. So I guess I was about the same age as my own son is. I remember hearing my dad crying in the bathroom at night while mom was in the hospital, begging "God" not to take her, to make her better again and to please take him if "God" had to take someone from our family. I'll never forget that. Well, Last night, my sig other and I were talking about something similar.... about the fact that my diverticulitis was so bad that had I waited a day or two to get it treated (in other words, had I not gone to the ER last friday and waited til monday) I could have ended up with Sepsis and very possibly have died. I know it sounds awfully dramatic and that some who are reading this are probably rolling their eyes muttering "drama queen" but the best way it was described to me by the doctor was this.... if you took a sterile tube and drove it through your leg, you wouldn't get an infection (or your chances are minimized) but the center of that hollow tube becomes infested with germs, etc. The diverticulitis is kinda like the infestation of germs getting out of hand and almost causing a rupture. that rupture could have infected my entire body and boy would that have been a hell of a mess! To an 8 year old kid, knowing that mommy is so sick with a raging fever and tubes hanging out all over the place with bruises on both arms because of collapsing veins, yeah, I can see the fear. It's actually not hard putting myself into his shoes... I was there once. 4th, my rough start.... is there room for second chances and is there a chance for me to apologize for being something of a bitch? I don't mean to come off as such. I was too quick to hit the filter button.... I'm gonna hit the undo button. That's the nice thing about computer filters.... I can at least undo that but what I've typed.... that can't be undone because that's already been sent and all I can do is apologize for being nasty. All I can say is that as i feel better, I hope that I'll be able to contribute a little more.... I may slip in and out of lurk mode just because there's still lots to learn.... I think I've said what I wanted to... I just hope that those who've I've had bad pasts with in other groups who I've met up with here I can just bury the hatchet with and start over... if not, ok. it's worth a shot. So anyhoo.... Thanks for the advice.... and even the criticism.... I'll be trying some things using what I was given. -- "Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery Hey if this group didn't believe in second chances, I personally wouldn't be here. Christine |
#3
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On Sat, 18 Sep 2004 21:04:42 -0600, "slykitten"
wrote: 4th, my rough start.... is there room for second chances and is there a chance for me to apologize for being something of a bitch? I don't mean to come off as such. You weren't a bitch, you were going through the rough patch. You don't need anyone's permission to post here. Peace and good health to you. lm |
#4
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I came
into this group initially hoping to find others who felt that single parenthood sucked and hated the fact that they were single parents and felt that they were being screwed by the system the way I was. Well at the risk of having my butt busted for claiming to know how people feel, my guess is that most people here have felt that way. But what we've learned is that to stay in that mode is a sinkhole from which there is no escape. And I've learned anyway, that sympathy in response to that only throws you deeper in into that mudhole. There is no hope in that sinkhole. So if the response seems rough, it's because we don't want to see anybody lanquishing in that sinkhole any longer than they have to. Instead, I found people in this group who've had some rough patches, who are doing the best they can, and who take it a day at a time in many cases That's about it. I know it sounds awfully dramatic and that some who are reading this are probably rolling their eyes muttering "drama queen" Nope, my guess is most of us are happy to see you climbing out of the sinkhole. But there's drama even on dry land! All I can say is that as i feel better That's a start. Hang in there. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#5
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"slykitten" wrote in message ...
[snip] All I can say is that as i feel better, I hope that I'll be able to contribute a little more.... I may slip in and out of lurk mode just because there's still lots to learn.... I think I've said what I wanted to... I just hope that those who've I've had bad pasts with in other groups who I've met up with here I can just bury the hatchet with and start over... if not, ok. it's worth a shot. So anyhoo.... Thanks for the advice.... and even the criticism.... I'll be trying some things using what I was given. Gee don't apologize so much. It's okay. You've got a lot on your plate. Better to rant here than take it out on your kid, or something. I hope things continue to improve for you. Karen |
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