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#1
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Why do so many parents spank?
Well, an obvious anser to this question is to discipline their kids, to
make them behave well. But my point is, why do they need to use corporal punishment? Do they feel it's a kind of moral obligation to spank their kids? Is it a religious obligation? Is it possible to spank out of love? I'm sure it's possible to punish out of love, but is it possible to spank out of love? I'm almost sure most parents spank out of anger Is it possible that some parents spank their kids to discharge a frustration, an anger? For example, the father can't spank or hit his boss, than he spanks his kids. When a parent spanks, does he or she just want to show authority or is the parent really thinking about the kid's best? Though I have 2 kids, a boy, 14, and a girl, 12, I have no experience withg spanks. I've never spanked my kids and I' wasn't spanked when I was a girl I don't know if my parents would have spanked me, they died when I was 2 years old. But according to my family tradition, at least my father probably would. When do spankers parents think they should spanks (or admnister a spanking, to use the they terms they like)? When kids lie? disobey? In another post, I talked about what happened some weeks ago when my daughter eneded up drinking some wine and told me? I didnt spank her. In such situation, would a spanking parent make her feel harsh lashes, like a parent said I should do? These are just some questions. Thank you. Amanda |
#2
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Why do so many parents spank?
The obvious answer is because non-cp alternatives didn't work. As Straus put it: "CP is typically a response to misbehavior, particularly after one or more other intervention have been tried repeatedly and the misbehavior they are meant to correct recurs." Straus, Murray A. & Vera E. Mouradian. 1998 "Impulsive Corporal Punishment by Mothers and Antisocial Behavior and Impulsiveness of children." Behavioral Sciences and the Law. 16: 353-374. Doan On 24 Jul 2006, Amanda wrote: Well, an obvious anser to this question is to discipline their kids, to make them behave well. But my point is, why do they need to use corporal punishment? Do they feel it's a kind of moral obligation to spank their kids? Is it a religious obligation? Is it possible to spank out of love? I'm sure it's possible to punish out of love, but is it possible to spank out of love? I'm almost sure most parents spank out of anger Is it possible that some parents spank their kids to discharge a frustration, an anger? For example, the father can't spank or hit his boss, than he spanks his kids. When a parent spanks, does he or she just want to show authority or is the parent really thinking about the kid's best? Though I have 2 kids, a boy, 14, and a girl, 12, I have no experience withg spanks. I've never spanked my kids and I' wasn't spanked when I was a girl I don't know if my parents would have spanked me, they died when I was 2 years old. But according to my family tradition, at least my father probably would. When do spankers parents think they should spanks (or admnister a spanking, to use the they terms they like)? When kids lie? disobey? In another post, I talked about what happened some weeks ago when my daughter eneded up drinking some wine and told me? I didnt spank her. In such situation, would a spanking parent make her feel harsh lashes, like a parent said I should do? These are just some questions. Thank you. Amanda |
#3
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Why do so many parents spank?
Doan wrote:
The obvious answer is because non-cp alternatives didn't work. That's not what Straus said. Do you wish to claim all possible "other interventions" were used? As Straus put it: "CP is typically a response to misbehavior, particularly after one or more other intervention have been tried repeatedly and the misbehavior they are meant to correct recurs." You have taken this out of context. A shoddy trick usual for those with poor ethics. He is addressing the limited REPERTOIRES OF spankers, and had not actually found any "non-spankers" to observe or review. As you well know. Straus, Murray A. & Vera E. Mouradian. 1998 "Impulsive Corporal Punishment by Mothers and Antisocial Behavior and Impulsiveness of children." Behavioral Sciences and the Law. 16: 353-374. Doan You continue to misuse the research. How 'Spanked' is THAT? R R R R R R On 24 Jul 2006, Amanda wrote: Well, an obvious anser to this question is to discipline their kids, to make them behave well. But my point is, why do they need to use corporal punishment? Do they feel it's a kind of moral obligation to spank their kids? Is it a religious obligation? Is it possible to spank out of love? I'm sure it's possible to punish out of love, but is it possible to spank out of love? I'm almost sure most parents spank out of anger Is it possible that some parents spank their kids to discharge a frustration, an anger? For example, the father can't spank or hit his boss, than he spanks his kids. When a parent spanks, does he or she just want to show authority or is the parent really thinking about the kid's best? Though I have 2 kids, a boy, 14, and a girl, 12, I have no experience withg spanks. I've never spanked my kids and I' wasn't spanked when I was a girl I don't know if my parents would have spanked me, they died when I was 2 years old. But according to my family tradition, at least my father probably would. When do spankers parents think they should spanks (or admnister a spanking, to use the they terms they like)? When kids lie? disobey? In another post, I talked about what happened some weeks ago when my daughter eneded up drinking some wine and told me? I didnt spank her. In such situation, would a spanking parent make her feel harsh lashes, like a parent said I should do? These are just some questions. Thank you. Amanda -- "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin (or someone else) |
#4
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Why do so many parents spank?
Amanda,
These are very thought provoking questions. Amanda wrote: Well, an obvious anser to this question is to discipline their kids, to make them behave well. But my point is, why do they need to use corporal punishment? Do they feel it's a kind of moral obligation to spank their kids? Is it a religious obligation? I know parents that truly believe it is a moral obligation in order to raise "good" children. I also know that for some parents, Old Testament Proverbs 13-15 is often used to justify hitting children in the name of discipline. This is often misquoted as "spare the rod, spoil the child" which appears nowhere in the the Bible. Honest followers of the Bible realize that invoking Proverbs as a justification for spanking is dishonest and selective interpretation. No one today follows all teachings of the Old Testament. Is it possible to spank out of love? I'm sure it's possible to punish out of love, but is it possible to spank out of love? I'm almost sure most parents spank out of anger I think it is possible to love your child and still spank. I think there are parents that truly believe spanking is an act of love. And yes, I think most parents do spank out of anger, even though for some the anger may not be apparent at the time. And the cold, calm, and deliberate hitting is far more chilling to me. Is it possible that some parents spank their kids to discharge a frustration, an anger? For example, the father can't spank or hit his boss, than he spanks his kids. Absolutely! We all know what it's like to have a bad day at work and take it out on our spouse, significant other, or children. While we may not hit them, we react in ways we normally wouldn't react. And it's human nature to pick on the safest and most vulnerable person in our lives. Those of us who are honest with our feelings and motivations try to curb this reaction, and apologize when we fail. When a parent spanks, does he or she just want to show authority or is the parent really thinking about the kid's best? I believe that parents who spank believe that show of power and authority is about the kid's best. Sad, isn't it? Though I have 2 kids, a boy, 14, and a girl, 12, I have no experience withg spanks. I've never spanked my kids and I' wasn't spanked when I was a girl I don't know if my parents would have spanked me, they died when I was 2 years old. But according to my family tradition, at least my father probably would. When do spankers parents think they should spanks (or admnister a spanking, to use the they terms they like)? When kids lie? disobey? This depends on the spanker, Amanda. I suspect the spanking generally results from the behavior that most angers the parent. In another post, I talked about what happened some weeks ago when my daughter eneded up drinking some wine and told me? I didnt spank her. In such situation, would a spanking parent make her feel harsh lashes, like a parent said I should do? Obviously, your daughter told you about the wine incident because she trusted you and wanted your guidance. You can rest assured that if she had thought for even one minute that your response to her honesty would have been hitting and hurting her, she would have not felt she could come to you and share what she had done. Spanking teaches children to be sneaky, to lie, to avoid getting caught. It also damages that precious trust children need for their parents. Hope this helps. Let me know what you think. LaVonne These are just some questions. Thank you. Amanda |
#5
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Why do so many parents spank?
Carlson LaVonne wrote:
Amanda, These are very thought provoking questions. Amanda wrote: Well, an obvious anser to this question is to discipline their kids, to make them behave well. But my point is, why do they need to use corporal punishment? Do they feel it's a kind of moral obligation to spank their kids? Is it a religious obligation? I know parents that truly believe it is a moral obligation in order to raise "good" children. I also know that for some parents, Old Testament Proverbs 13-15 is often used to justify hitting children in the name of discipline. This is often misquoted as "spare the rod, spoil the child" which appears nowhere in the the Bible. Honest followers of the Bible realize that invoking Proverbs as a justification for spanking is dishonest and selective interpretation. No one today follows all teachings of the Old Testament. Is it possible to spank out of love? I'm sure it's possible to punish out of love, but is it possible to spank out of love? I'm almost sure most parents spank out of anger I think it is possible to love your child and still spank. I think there are parents that truly believe spanking is an act of love. And yes, I think most parents do spank out of anger, even though for some the anger may not be apparent at the time. And the cold, calm, and deliberate hitting is far more chilling to me. Is it possible that some parents spank their kids to discharge a frustration, an anger? For example, the father can't spank or hit his boss, than he spanks his kids. Absolutely! We all know what it's like to have a bad day at work and take it out on our spouse, significant other, or children. While we may not hit them, we react in ways we normally wouldn't react. And it's human nature to pick on the safest and most vulnerable person in our lives. Those of us who are honest with our feelings and motivations try to curb this reaction, and apologize when we fail. When a parent spanks, does he or she just want to show authority or is the parent really thinking about the kid's best? I believe that parents who spank believe that show of power and authority is about the kid's best. Sad, isn't it? Though I have 2 kids, a boy, 14, and a girl, 12, I have no experience withg spanks. I've never spanked my kids and I' wasn't spanked when I was a girl I don't know if my parents would have spanked me, they died when I was 2 years old. But according to my family tradition, at least my father probably would. When do spankers parents think they should spanks (or admnister a spanking, to use the they terms they like)? When kids lie? disobey? This depends on the spanker, Amanda. I suspect the spanking generally results from the behavior that most angers the parent. In another post, I talked about what happened some weeks ago when my daughter eneded up drinking some wine and told me? I didnt spank her. In such situation, would a spanking parent make her feel harsh lashes, like a parent said I should do? Obviously, your daughter told you about the wine incident because she trusted you and wanted your guidance. You can rest assured that if she had thought for even one minute that your response to her honesty would have been hitting and hurting her, she would have not felt she could come to you and share what she had done. Spanking teaches children to be sneaky, to lie, to avoid getting caught. It also damages that precious trust children need for their parents. Hope this helps. Let me know what you think. LaVonne These are just some questions. Thank you. Amanda When I was active professionally with treating emotionally disturbed children it often came up for me, what is the difference between these children and those raised by loving parents. (I had never had a child on my caseload that had not been spanked). So I tended to ask some of the same questions of those children not in treatment as those I questioned to set a baseline and to establish treatment goals and actions. One of the things that struck me was my question that went, "when you are about to do something you know you shouldn't, does your parent come to mind?" Both pretty consistently (the normal kids always) answered yes. As I questioned further the ill children all said they thought of their parent for a moment and defiantly went on anyway and did the bad thing. The other kids admitted that they, when thinking of their parent in these moments of temptation, felt deep guilt and worry of how their parent would see them if they knew they had done this bad thing, and they decided not to in most instances. This included the traditional, "sex, drugs, and rock and roll." The latter being a code phrase among teens of that time as "criminal" activity like shoplifting or vandalizing. When I asked each if they had been spanked, the former..the ill children all answered, yes, and the latter, rarely said they were ever spanked. Nothing quite like trust to set up the need to keep trust. 0:- -- "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin (or someone else) |
#6
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Why do so many parents spank?
Kane wrote
"Nothing quite like trust to set up the need to keep trust." Geoffrey Rantz called it "grooming". |
#7
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Why do so many parents spank?
Greegor wrote:
Kane wrote "Nothing quite like trust to set up the need to keep trust." Geoffrey Rantz called it "grooming". Yes, I too call it grooming when it's done to manipulate a child into being sexually abused. When it's a parent or other caregiver it's rarely done as grooming. It's done to create a trust for providing a way for children to learn in a safe environment. Children learn better in such circumstances. Molesters of children aren't ignorant of the skills of trust building. It's sort of like guns. If we are to have access to them ourself, as law abiding citizens there is always the risk of criminals also having them. Tell us Greg, do you think that parents, on the off chance they might suddenly convert to sexual abusers of children, should not create a climate of trust in their family and household between the members? I assure you, though incest is certainly a problem it does not involve the vast majority of parents and families. Is this something you'd like to discuss further, and lack sufficient information about? I'd be happy to oblige. I worked with incest victims years ago and building trust so that healing and therapeutic work could begin tended to take more time than the actual healing and therapeutic interventions. Though I tended to think that trust building was in fact therapeutic and healing in itself. My first task was to teach the child how to deal with people that were attempting to build trust and uncover their motives. That in itself tended to build great trust. Could I have betrayed it? Of course. Did I? Of course not. Interestingly, where YOU fail, I could produce, Greg. I asked you to create a list of this GROUP of sexual perverts you claim are in CPS. I know about every single case of a CPS worker sexual abuse of a client, and every single case of a child therapist sexually abusing a client in three states over a 15 year period. There were two. One from each profession. I was very angry as were all others in the field. Is two, a "group?" 0:- -- "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin (or someone else) |
#8
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Why do so many parents spank?
Kane wrote
"Nothing quite like trust to set up the need to keep trust." Greg wrote Geoffrey Rantz called it "grooming". Kane wrote Yes, I too call it grooming when it's done to manipulate a child into being sexually abused. When it's a parent or other caregiver it's rarely done as grooming. It's done to create a trust for providing a way for children to learn in a safe environment. What about when it's done by a brain sucking CPS robot deperate to justify their paycheck by trying desperately to get the child to tell them stories of child abuse even when there WAS NONE? What about when the Child Protection caseworker IS A CHILD MOLESTOR? (As Geoffrey Rantz was?) |
#9
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Why do so many parents spank?
Greegor wrote:
Kane wrote "Nothing quite like trust to set up the need to keep trust." Greg wrote Geoffrey Rantz called it "grooming". Kane wrote Yes, I too call it grooming when it's done to manipulate a child into being sexually abused. When it's a parent or other caregiver it's rarely done as grooming. It's done to create a trust for providing a way for children to learn in a safe environment. What about when it's done by a brain sucking CPS robot deperate to justify their paycheck by trying desperately to get the child to tell them stories of child abuse even when there WAS NONE? Unethical. Got any? Link us to the story. I'd like to examine it. What about when the Child Protection caseworker IS A CHILD MOLESTOR? (As Geoffrey Rantz was?) Criminal. Any person in a place of trust such as that, or those in my past profession, should be, if convicted, imprisoned for a long time. Guess what? When caught and there is sufficient evidence to charge, prosecute, and convict, they go where, Greg? I had one of the victims on my caseload of the director of a highly trusted director of a children's treatment center. Since THAT was my area of work you can imagine my feelings about what had been done to the boy by someone in my field. It was a long difficult road for him, but he came to trust again, and he had the unique knowledge, as most victims of sexual abuse do, to take much better care of himself in the future. No, he didn't run around paranoid. Despite the lies of you pricks, he was taught to assertive, personally responsible for himself, and not afraid. He went on eventually to college and to become an engineer. Nice man. Good built in **** detector too. You wouldn't last ten seconds before he picked up the stench of a liar and fool. Lesson for this subject done. 0:- -- "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin (or someone else) |
#10
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Why do so many parents spank?
Kane wrote
Lesson for this subject done. Ego trip? |
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