VENT - Why do people make things difficult?

"Sue" wrote in message
...
Our Girl Scouts have dues that are paid either in advance or each week.
Many
actitivies, or special things are paid with this money. However, that
doesn't include a gift at the end though.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

Ours too -- a one time fee at the beginning of the year. That money
goes directly back to the girls in the form of craft supplies, field trips,
etc. So, no, it doesn't include anything for the leaders.

Bizby

"jojo" wrote in message
. com...
Bizby

i have not had time to read all of the posts, but if you sent out the
emails
at the end of last week or this week,
spring break may be a reason for no response. I never check my email from
home, and if I were off this week would not know about your request till
next week.

his may not be the case, but an explaination for lack of resoponse?

hugs,
jojo

The first e-mails went out a couple of months ago, and the more
specific ones a couple of weeks ago. But our spring break is
still weeks away.

Bizby

In article , Cathy Kearns
says...


"lenny fackler" wrote in message
roups.com...

bizby40 wrote:
Our Girl Scout leaders are retiring after 5 years. All I wanted to
do was
to get a little gift, show a little appreciation. After all, we
haven't
given them anything as a group *ever*.

It's a nice idea but these things do tend to accumulate and become, if
not overwhelming, a major annoyance.
It seems like someone is constantly organizing an impromptu fundraiser.
I don't think of myself as a cheapskate and I try to do my part but
between family and close friends, the clubs and activities of my two
children, pre-school classes, neighborhood kids, and the hat passing
and fundraising that goes on at the office it sometimes drives me
crazy. If you're the fifth person hitting me up that week I might blow
you off.
And my kids aren't even regular school age yet. It's going to get so
much worse.


So, do you consider mother's day presents for your mother a "fund raiser"?
These are people who volunteered their time for 5 years for these girls.
Ten dollars for a thank you gift does not seem out of line. I would want to
tell these folks, if you don't appreciate the time volunteers are putting in
for your children, be it scouts or coaching teams or whatever, don't send
the kids. If you are too busy to respond to emails or come up with thank
yous or remind your child to dress for a picture you could probably get all
sorts of time back by cutting back on these activities altogether. This
just reminds me of the bride and groom who feel they don't need to do thank
you notes for the gifts because they are too busy.

So, for the poster whose kids aren't even regular school age, if you don't
have time to at least thank the volunteers, if not help with the
troop/team/group, don't sign the kids up for their activities. It's really
that simple.



Oh foo.

*I'm* one of those volunteers, and frankly I don't expect the umptheenth
doohickey as a 'thanks'. The verbal thanks and little day to day helps is
enough for me.

From the POV of a parent, sometimes, when it came to a teacher, I wanted to do
my own gift, then what do I tell Ms. Organizer when she wants the ten bucks for
the Great Group Gift? "no thanks I'm going something to that end on my own"
dosnt' work because she has it all written down, how big the gift certificate is
going to be, how much everyone should 'chip in'.

It *is* a case of causes of various worthiness that have been knocking on our
doors and coming over our telephones and coming in our kids' backpacks, and it
turns into Gift Fatigue and Fund Raiser Fatigue because the two kinds of things
are often not that distinguishable and do ask for stuff out of the same pot of
resources.

I'm not saying there's no good reason to give gifts as thanks, but it does have
to be done againt this background of STUFF that people are bothered for all the
time. So it takes some sensitivity and flexibility.

Banty

"Cathy Kearns" wrote in message
. com...

"lenny fackler" wrote in message
oups.com...

bizby40 wrote:
Our Girl Scout leaders are retiring after 5 years. All I wanted to
do was
to get a little gift, show a little appreciation. After all, we
haven't
given them anything as a group *ever*.

It's a nice idea but these things do tend to accumulate and become, if
not overwhelming, a major annoyance.
It seems like someone is constantly organizing an impromptu fundraiser.
I don't think of myself as a cheapskate and I try to do my part but
between family and close friends, the clubs and activities of my two
children, pre-school classes, neighborhood kids, and the hat passing
and fundraising that goes on at the office it sometimes drives me
crazy. If you're the fifth person hitting me up that week I might blow
you off.
And my kids aren't even regular school age yet. It's going to get so
much worse.


So, do you consider mother's day presents for your mother a "fund raiser"?
These are people who volunteered their time for 5 years for these girls.

That was my feeling. I think there can be too many of these things too.
But in this case, we've got women that have been donating their time
and energy directly to our girls, with no compensation, for 5 whole
years. So, drop the baby shower for the co-worker you barely
know. Give the soccer coach who spent 8 weeks with your child a
heartfelt "Thanks!", but these ladies deserve something special.

Bizby

Ten dollars for a thank you gift does not seem out of line. I would want
to
tell these folks, if you don't appreciate the time volunteers are putting
in
for your children, be it scouts or coaching teams or whatever, don't send
the kids. If you are too busy to respond to emails or come up with thank
yous or remind your child to dress for a picture you could probably get
all
sorts of time back by cutting back on these activities altogether. This
just reminds me of the bride and groom who feel they don't need to do
thank
you notes for the gifts because they are too busy.

So, for the poster whose kids aren't even regular school age, if you don't
have time to at least thank the volunteers, if not help with the
troop/team/group, don't sign the kids up for their activities. It's
really
that simple.

In article ,
"Cathy Kearns" wrote:

"lenny fackler" wrote in message
oups.com...

bizby40 wrote:
Our Girl Scout leaders are retiring after 5 years. All I wanted to
do was
to get a little gift, show a little appreciation. After all, we
haven't
given them anything as a group *ever*.

It's a nice idea but these things do tend to accumulate and become, if
not overwhelming, a major annoyance.
It seems like someone is constantly organizing an impromptu fundraiser.
I don't think of myself as a cheapskate and I try to do my part but
between family and close friends, the clubs and activities of my two
children, pre-school classes, neighborhood kids, and the hat passing
and fundraising that goes on at the office it sometimes drives me
crazy. If you're the fifth person hitting me up that week I might blow
you off.
And my kids aren't even regular school age yet. It's going to get so
much worse.


So, do you consider mother's day presents for your mother a "fund raiser"?
These are people who volunteered their time for 5 years for these girls.
Ten dollars for a thank you gift does not seem out of line. I would want to
tell these folks, if you don't appreciate the time volunteers are putting in
for your children, be it scouts or coaching teams or whatever, don't send
the kids. If you are too busy to respond to emails or come up with thank
yous or remind your child to dress for a picture you could probably get all
sorts of time back by cutting back on these activities altogether. This
just reminds me of the bride and groom who feel they don't need to do thank
you notes for the gifts because they are too busy.

So, for the poster whose kids aren't even regular school age, if you don't
have time to at least thank the volunteers, if not help with the
troop/team/group, don't sign the kids up for their activities. It's really
that simple.



That's a little harsh.

It CAN be overwhelming if you end up being hit up for $10 at work for a
wedding gift for a co-worker, $10 for a gift for the volunteer who
teaches your kid's religious education class, $10 for the little league
coach, and $10 for the scout troup leader all in the same week or two.
And if you have several children, there ARE weeks like that, and it DOES
start to feel out of control and frustrating. (And there are also
people who are CONSTANTLY finding reasons to ask everyone for money to
give gifts, even for people who are already being paid -- teachers,
ministers, etc, to a point that begins to feel ridiculous.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
bizby40 wrote:

"Sue" wrote in message
...
"bizby40" wrote in message
People that don't read their e-mail is another peeve of mine. :-)

Are you sure people who have email know how to use it? Many of the
parents in the girls' troops don't know how to use their email. Send
correspondance
through the child at school, mail it or call.

Okay, people who have e-mail and don't learn to use it is a third peeve
of
mine! :-)

I have email, and know how to use it, but I get so much spam in my inbox
that I ignore anything sent in non-plain-text from a name I don't
recognise.
Often I ignore anything from names I don't recognise.

People who use there e-mail addresses willy-nilly all over the internet
thus getting their mailboxes full of spam is a fourth peeve of mine!!!
(no matter how you look at it, I'm gonna be peeved if I can't e-mail
someone about something legit.)

Personally, I get tired of all the nickel and diming that gets asked of
us for different projects, field trips, gifts for teachers and with
three
kids
it starts to add up. I do think $10 is a bit much. I would lower it to
$5.

Well, I didn't intend to give an amount at all, until a couple different
people asked. To me, $10 split between two people isn't much
at all. So that's what I said. I don't think I worded it in such a way
that people should have taken it as an obligation to give that much,
or to give any at all. I guess that's one reason why I'm so annoyed.
I'm just trying to do something nice for a couple of people who deserve
it, and now I have to worry about exactly how everything I say is
worded so that everyone is happy.

We don't split things like that in our family: either I pay the lot, or dh
pays the lot. It adds up when you have more then one child in the
activity - you might be seeing "$5 per parent", which seems reasonable,
but
I'd be seeing "$20 for my two girls", which is an expense.

No, that was $5 per leader -- there are two leaders retiring. And
there are no siblings in the troop.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

Cathy Kearns wrote:
"lenny fackler" wrote in message
oups.com...

bizby40 wrote:
Our Girl Scout leaders are retiring after 5 years. All I wanted
to
do was
to get a little gift, show a little appreciation. After all, we
haven't
given them anything as a group *ever*.

It's a nice idea but these things do tend to accumulate and become,
if
not overwhelming, a major annoyance.
It seems like someone is constantly organizing an impromptu
fundraiser.
I don't think of myself as a cheapskate and I try to do my part
but
between family and close friends, the clubs and activities of my
two
children, pre-school classes, neighborhood kids, and the hat
passing
and fundraising that goes on at the office it sometimes drives me
crazy. If you're the fifth person hitting me up that week I might
blow
you off.
And my kids aren't even regular school age yet. It's going to get
so
much worse.


So, do you consider mother's day presents for your mother a "fund
raiser"?

Why would I think that?

These are people who volunteered their time for 5 years for these
girls.
Ten dollars for a thank you gift does not seem out of line.

I didn't say it was out of line.

I would want to
tell these folks, if you don't appreciate the time volunteers are
putting in
for your children, be it scouts or coaching teams or whatever, don't
send
the kids.

Buying them gifts is the only way to show your appreciation?

If you are too busy to respond to emails or come up with thank
yous or remind your child to dress for a picture you could probably
get all
sorts of time back by cutting back on these activities altogether.

I'm usually not too busy to do any of those things.

This
just reminds me of the bride and groom who feel they don't need to do
thank
you notes for the gifts because they are too busy.

In what way? Does Miss Manners say you have to buy a gift for your
children's troop leaders?


So, for the poster whose kids aren't even regular school age, if you
don't
have time to at least thank the volunteers, if not help with the
troop/team/group, don't sign the kids up for their activities. It's
really
that simple.

I appreciate my children's coaches and teachers (although most of them
are actually paid). When it comes to sports with volunteers running
the teams my wife or I are there to pitch in whenever we can. I was
only trying to explain the point of view of a parent who may not
quickly respond to every request for another 5,10 or $20. They come
frequently and often for causes that I'm not particularly moved by.
Burnout can occur.
I'm venting from the opposing view of the original vent but to be
honest, if my child had a scout leader for 5 years I'm sure I would
really want to do something for them.

"bizby40" wrote in message
...

"jojo" wrote in message
. com...
Bizby

i have not had time to read all of the posts, but if you sent out the
emails
at the end of last week or this week,
spring break may be a reason for no response. I never check my email
from
home, and if I were off this week would not know about your request till
next week.

his may not be the case, but an explaination for lack of resoponse?

hugs,
jojo

The first e-mails went out a couple of months ago, and the more
specific ones a couple of weeks ago. But our spring break is
still weeks away.

Bizby



oh....gee...sorry this turned out to be such a pain for you...certainly was
a nice thought
and I'm sure the thought does count.....
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
jojo

In article , bizby40 says...


"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
bizby40 wrote:

"Sue" wrote in message
...
"bizby40" wrote in message
People that don't read their e-mail is another peeve of mine. :-)

Are you sure people who have email know how to use it? Many of the
parents in the girls' troops don't know how to use their email. Send
correspondance
through the child at school, mail it or call.

Okay, people who have e-mail and don't learn to use it is a third peeve
of
mine! :-)

I have email, and know how to use it, but I get so much spam in my inbox
that I ignore anything sent in non-plain-text from a name I don't
recognise.
Often I ignore anything from names I don't recognise.

People who use there e-mail addresses willy-nilly all over the internet
thus getting their mailboxes full of spam is a fourth peeve of mine!!!
(no matter how you look at it, I'm gonna be peeved if I can't e-mail
someone about something legit.)


Our Cub Scout Committee chair had a computer, but was barely computer literate
and was absolutely overwhelmed by the spam she was getting. She didn't know a
file from an application - to her it was all pictures on a screen and things to
click here and there (I know, I helped her a few times) so email filters were
way beyond her. One of the societal costs to spam.

So, I had to do everything with her hardcopy for the newsletter unless I had a
chance to sit with her with a floppy disk I would give her and help her use it.
Which was a hassle, because that's a pretty central role for a Cub Pack.

But her email address was useless.

Banty

"Banty" wrote in message
...
[snip]

Our Cub Scout Committee chair had a computer, but was barely computer
literate
and was absolutely overwhelmed by the spam she was getting. She didn't
know a
file from an application - to her it was all pictures on a screen and
things to
click here and there (I know, I helped her a few times) so email filters
were
way beyond her. One of the societal costs to spam.

So, I had to do everything with her hardcopy for the newsletter unless I
had a
chance to sit with her with a floppy disk I would give her and help her
use it.
Which was a hassle, because that's a pretty central role for a Cub Pack.

But her email address was useless.

Banty

I'm such a nerd -- I computerize everything I take over. I do the school
directory -- the first year was such a pain to get everything entered. Now
I use Word and Mail Merge and zip, it's done. I'm Girl Scout treasurer,
and when I get the hard copies of the financial sheets, the first thing I do
is make an Excel Spreadsheet out of it. I just became the awards chair
for the Cub Scouts, and the first thing I did upon getting all the hand-
written notes from my predecessor was to put them all into Excel.

Heck, my grocery list is in Excel, and I use Mail Merge to print out
the envelopes for my Christmas cards! The last time I needed a full
check-up, I scanned in the questionnaire from the doctor so I could
type my responses.

My secret goal is to remove all pencils from my life.

Bizby