VENT - Why do people make things difficult?

"bizby40" wrote:
"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
bizby40 wrote:

"Sue" wrote in message
...
"bizby40" wrote in message
People that don't read their e-mail is another peeve of mine. :-)


My ds is like that, and he doesn't answer the phone either. I have to
call him at work to be sure to actually talk to something other than
the answering machine.

The reason that he doesn't have email is that they are constantly in
debt and I counseled them to cut some non-essentials, and they cut
internet and cable/sat TV and newspapers. So I really can't complain
to much. He accesses his old email address at work, and my DIL used
to do the same, but she quit her job.

It's also a problem to mail things by the USPS because people
apparently steal stuff out of their box. I sent them a christening
dress that was used by his dad, and it was stolen.

Are you sure people who have email know how to use it? Many of the
parents in the girls' troops don't know how to use their email. Send
correspondance
through the child at school, mail it or call.

Okay, people who have e-mail and don't learn to use it is a third peeve
of
mine! :-)

I have email, and know how to use it, but I get so much spam in my inbox
that I ignore anything sent in non-plain-text from a name I don't
recognise.
Often I ignore anything from names I don't recognise.

People who use there e-mail addresses willy-nilly all over the internet
thus getting their mailboxes full of spam is a fourth peeve of mine!!!
(no matter how you look at it, I'm gonna be peeved if I can't e-mail
someone about something legit.)

I have had this email address for a LONG time and I don't want to give
it up. I have the filters set on high, and go there several times a
day and check the suspect list. One of the other things I do is have
an aol address (a very old one) which I give to all commercial
entitities that insist on having one. I use this for things like
reservation confirmations etc. I don't go there as often.

I also have two private AOL addresses - one gets NO email from anyone
except my mom if she happens to remember it, and one is not used for
anything so I never get any mail there although it isn't blocked. I
also have a pocketmail address so I can get email on the boat by phone
if I want to.

I personally think that if my mom who is 95 can learn to use the
internet and participate in email groups, that there's really no
excuse for anyone else just on the basis of age. My mom was an
English major in school, and she's not at all technically minded. And
to be fair, I've been working on her for about 20 years, and she has 6
technically minded grand children who help her out at various times.
Plus she's not afraid to ask friends for help or to take classes.

Personally, I get tired of all the nickel and diming that gets asked of
us for different projects, field trips, gifts for teachers and with
three
kids
it starts to add up. I do think $10 is a bit much. I would lower it to
$5.

Well, I didn't intend to give an amount at all, until a couple different
people asked. To me, $10 split between two people isn't much
at all. So that's what I said. I don't think I worded it in such a way

I was thinking that in the future (cause it's too late now), that it
might be better to say what you thought the total cost would be per
leader rather than to give an amount.

Something like - "I think the 8x10 photo will be $25 for two copies,
and a frame for each one would be $10" and then say that split among 8
families that would be about $5 each. Or ask if they had a better idea
or a cheaper place to get it done.

I know that you say that you didn't mean people to take it as an
obligation, but I think most of them must have taken it that way and
been taken aback at the amount.

that people should have taken it as an obligation to give that much,
or to give any at all. I guess that's one reason why I'm so annoyed.
I'm just trying to do something nice for a couple of people who deserve
it, and now I have to worry about exactly how everything I say is
worded so that everyone is happy.

I really think that you need to work on being a bit more tactful - in
all areas. I'm judging by myself - it's hard for me to do that, and
sometimes I'm a bit outspoken. But I'm also judging by other things I
remember that you've posted.

We don't split things like that in our family: either I pay the lot, or dh
pays the lot. It adds up when you have more then one child in the
activity - you might be seeing "$5 per parent", which seems reasonable,
but
I'd be seeing "$20 for my two girls", which is an expense.

No, that was $5 per leader -- there are two leaders retiring. And
there are no siblings in the troop.

I still think that $10 would be a bit much.

grandma Rosalie

On Wed, 16 Mar 2005 14:33:28 -0500, "bizby40"
wrote:

"How much should we donate?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about $10"

"$10 is too much!"

If I were really sure than $10 won't make a real difference for them,
I would answer something like "oh, I didn't know that you have some
money problems. Don't worry, give what you can and I will put the
remaining for you".

Anne ;-)

bizby40 wrote:

"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
[snip]
I have email, and know how to use it, but I get so much spam in my inbox
that I ignore anything sent in non-plain-text from a name I don't
recognise.
Often I ignore anything from names I don't recognise.

People who use there e-mail addresses willy-nilly all over the internet
thus getting their mailboxes full of spam is a fourth peeve of mine!!!
(no matter how you look at it, I'm gonna be peeved if I can't e-mail
someone about something legit.)

Ah, but I don't use my email address willy-nilly all over the internet:
most of my spam has come from using my email address on usenet. And
I've been using a replyable address on usenet since before the "green card"
spam of whenever it was.

--
Penny Gaines
Usenetting since 1993

Anne fazbeta at free dot fr wrote:

On Wed, 16 Mar 2005 14:33:28 -0500, "bizby40"
wrote:

"How much should we donate?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about $10"

"$10 is too much!"

If I were really sure than $10 won't make a real difference for them,
I would answer something like "oh, I didn't know that you have some
money problems. Don't worry, give what you can and I will put the
remaining for you".

Anne ;-)

I would not do that. It isn't really kind to rub it in that you are
better off than they are, and that you know that they are poor.


grandma Rosalie

"Anne" fazbeta at free dot fr wrote in message
If I were really sure than $10 won't make a real difference for them,
I would answer something like "oh, I didn't know that you have some
money problems. Don't worry, give what you can and I will put the
remaining for you".

That certainaly is not a good response. I would be totally offended by that.
Sometimes $10 can make a difference in someone's life.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

Rosalie B. wrote:
Anne fazbeta at free dot fr wrote:

On Wed, 16 Mar 2005 14:33:28 -0500, "bizby40"
wrote:

"How much should we donate?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about $10"

"$10 is too much!"

If I were really sure than $10 won't make a real difference for
them,
I would answer something like "oh, I didn't know that you have some
money problems. Don't worry, give what you can and I will put the
remaining for you".

Anne ;-)

I would not do that. It isn't really kind to rub it in that you are
better off than they are, and that you know that they are poor.


grandma Rosalie

I second this. At the end of the calendar year, we allocate an amount
we're donating for the year to the schools (PTA, the public school
itself, and the 2 activities each kid is in). We then write what is,
for us, relatively hefty checks, then I'm done. Our eldest is also
encouraged to pick a local charity (usually 1 of the 3 our school
solicits for), and then we make a donation to them. I can't stand to be
hit up for a zillion requests during the year (okay, only about 20 per
kid: giftwrap, auctions, cookies, retirement, canned goods, mittens,
winter coat fund, PTA fundraising, school supply fundraising, seasonal
events for fall/winter/spring/summer, tupperware sales, the annual
fund, the emergency fund, the backpack drive, bus driver appreciation,
et cetera). I feel we're tremendously lucky that $10 is not a
make-or-break amount, but the seemingly daily solicitations from
groups/charities make me crazy.

Caledonia

On Thu, 17 Mar 2005 14:17:36 -0800, Anne fazbeta at free dot fr
wrote:

On Wed, 16 Mar 2005 14:33:28 -0500, "bizby40"
wrote:

"How much should we donate?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about $10"

"$10 is too much!"

If I were really sure than $10 won't make a real difference for them,
I would answer something like "oh, I didn't know that you have some
money problems. Don't worry, give what you can and I will put the
remaining for you".

I wouldn't do that. I think it is insensitive to people who are
really pressed for money to imply that they can depend on your
charity to make up the difference.

I do think I would simply say, please give what you feel is right
and leave it at that.

Anne ;-)


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

On Thu, 17 Mar 2005 19:02:01 -0500, "Sue"
wrote:

"Anne" fazbeta at free dot fr wrote in message
If I were really sure than $10 won't make a real difference for them,
I would answer something like "oh, I didn't know that you have some
money problems. Don't worry, give what you can and I will put the
remaining for you".

That certainaly is not a good response. I would be totally offended by that.
Sometimes $10 can make a difference in someone's life.

I said if I were *really sure* that it doesn't make a difference. The
parents are wealthy if I believe the OP and they agreed to help. I
wouldn't do that if the family was not wealthy, but I notice that it
most cases it is the wealthier who are reluctant to pay what they
commit to pay and get often away with it.
Anne

On Thu, 17 Mar 2005 22:39:06 GMT, Rosalie B.
wrote:

Anne fazbeta at free dot fr wrote:

On Wed, 16 Mar 2005 14:33:28 -0500, "bizby40"
wrote:

"How much should we donate?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about $10"

"$10 is too much!"

If I were really sure than $10 won't make a real difference for them,
I would answer something like "oh, I didn't know that you have some
money problems. Don't worry, give what you can and I will put the
remaining for you".

I would not do that. It isn't really kind to rub it in that you are
better off than they are, and that you know that they are poor.

I would only do that if I knew that there are better off than me. I
said if " I were really sure than $10 won't make a real difference".
The OP said that money wasn't a problem for them. For sure I wouldn't
say that to somebody poor, but I notice that it is often the richer
that cannot open their wallet even if they commit to do it.
Anne

In article , Anne says...

On Thu, 17 Mar 2005 19:02:01 -0500, "Sue"
wrote:

"Anne" fazbeta at free dot fr wrote in message
If I were really sure than $10 won't make a real difference for them,
I would answer something like "oh, I didn't know that you have some
money problems. Don't worry, give what you can and I will put the
remaining for you".

That certainaly is not a good response. I would be totally offended by that.
Sometimes $10 can make a difference in someone's life.

I said if I were *really sure* that it doesn't make a difference. The
parents are wealthy if I believe the OP and they agreed to help. I
wouldn't do that if the family was not wealthy, but I notice that it
most cases it is the wealthier who are reluctant to pay what they
commit to pay and get often away with it.
Anne

Oh, please.

Wealthy or not, does not mean anyone can suggest any amount, even $10, and they
should just hand it over. Nobody is anybody else's walking candy store.

Banty