What to do when your son tell you he hates you.

"Barbara" wrote in message
s.com...
On Oct 22, 8:49 pm, Chookie wrote:
In article .com,

Barbara wrote:
And, presumably, you never intend to take your kids to a public park.
An open air fair or other celebration. A walk around town. The
mall. Even the supermarket. You don't intend to allow them to listen
to radio other than classical music.

Classical music doesn't usually contain swear words, but I will not be in
a
hurry to explain the plots (let alone the words!) of too many operas to
my
six-year-old...

You got me there. I yield to your wisdom!

I wouldn't explain some of the plots of G & S (light opera) to #1, although
she loves them on her level. I did explain "I can trace my ancestors back to
a prehistoric primeval globule" and the "It was the cat" (cat being
cat-o'-nine tails) song. But I think the innuendo/romance is better left
until older. She'll appreciate it more then. And some of the political stuff
is still over her head I tried explaining "they have to leave their brains
outside
and vote just as the leaders tell them to" but I think her conclusion was
that they were "teasing".
I'm not sure she understands all the intent in High School Musical either!
Debbie

"Beliavsky" wrote in message
oups.com...
On Oct 22, 11:21 am, Banty wrote:
In article . com,
Beliavsky
says...

snip

I get the feeling that wasn't quite the case with Banty's son,
though. I'm guesting that he was trying to shock and/or anger her.
Had she yelled, slapped, punished, etc, she would have shown him that
it worked. Her quick-thinking response better defused the situation.
He probably never said it again. But that's because he's older; I
wouldn't try that on a 4 year old.

The b-word is not my in 4yo's vocabulary, and if it crept in, besides
disciplining him I would make him tell me where he learned to talk
trash so I could eliminate that influence. There will, for example,
never be "gangster rap" in my earshot.

Curious - of what material do you plan to make this cocoon? Will you
punch
airholes?

Cheers,
Banty (yep, his oldest is all of four....)

I was born and brought up in the U.S. and am in my late 30s. I don't
think I have ever used the b-word or f-word in front of my parents,
and they would be saddened if I did. I have the same standards for my
kids. Why is that unrealistic?

So you're happy for him to use it not in front of you?

We have basic cable TV (which does not include MTV), and if my wife
has told me that if she thinks TV is becoming a bad influence on our
kids, she won't mind getting rid of all TVs in the house. We have been
talking about how to child-proof our Internet access.

We haven't had, never had, and do not intend to get a TV. #1 very rarely
sees TV.
Let me tell you they still will hear the words. Occasionally #1 (just turned
7yo) repeats these words. She doesn't know what they mean, but she hears
them used around her. We are in a middle class area with few problems, but
she still hears them.
An example of this was one time she brought me an Enid Blyton book and asked
me what it mean by someone was "gay". I told her gay (in this case) meant
happy, joyful, so she showed me another place where "gay colours" came up. I
told her they were bright pretty colours. She then looked very puzzled and
asked why older children use "gay" as an insult, because she thought it
sounded like a compliment.

What Banty means is that they will hear these words around (assuming you let
them out occasionally). Even walking to and from the shops/school they will
hear them. You cannot hide them entirely from bad language. At some point
they will grow up and leave home and have control over their own life and
the language they use. If you keep them away from all inappropriate things
until that happens then they may have difficulty dealing with them.
Debbie