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#1
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Questions For the Co-sleepers....
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at
that point how do you do it? For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my stand on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now. DH had a business trip a few months ago so DD and I went along and although she had been sleeping through for 6-8 hours she decided just before we left that she would wake up every couple hours and feed instead. As we were all in one room while we were away I ended up bringing her into our bed just to try to settle her so DH could still get his sleep. When we got back sometimes she went in her cot, sometimes I would bring her into bed if I was really tired. Then I travelled to see relatives and decided she would just be in my bed the whole time, not evening trying to put her in a cot. Even her naps were just on my lap as we were often out and she would still have a sleep at her regular times, just on my lap, which was fine. I realised that I absolutely LOVE having her in bed with us and cuddling her and it just feels so right. Luckily DH was happy to go along with it and even though we've been back for a few weeks she just sleeps in our bed anyway. She also still takes her naps on my lap, normally I finish feeding her and she falls asleep and I just let her stay there while I do work on the laptop, which is quite convenient and I do enjoy having her so close. So it's all working quite well for us at the moment, but I'm aware that it might cause issues later on, like now she seems to need to snuggle next to me to sleep. I'm quite happy letting her nap on my lap, but should I be making her nap elsewhere? As far as sleeping at night, obviously when she's older she will need her own bed - but how long do others keep their baby in bed with them? (DD is 6 months now). And if she is that dependant on me for sleeping are we going to have major problems when she wakes up and I'm not there? (I love the fact that currently she opens her eyes in the morning, snuggles and smiles and starts chattering away.) Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back to sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start limiting it at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much to feed on her own? |
#2
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Questions For the Co-sleepers....
"Linda" wrote in message ... How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at that point how do you do it? Ummm. I understand they go through a monster under the bed stage at 3, so I would think not until after that ... Dagny Co-sleeping, nursing mom to Meg (10/03) and Poppin Fresh (1/05) |
#3
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Questions For the Co-sleepers....
Linda wrote:
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at that point how do you do it? For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my stand on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now. DH had a business trip a few months ago so DD and I went along and although she had been sleeping through for 6-8 hours she decided just before we left that she would wake up every couple hours and feed instead. As we were all in one room while we were away I ended up bringing her into our bed just to try to settle her so DH could still get his sleep. When we got back sometimes she went in her cot, sometimes I would bring her into bed if I was really tired. Then I travelled to see relatives and decided she would just be in my bed the whole time, not evening trying to put her in a cot. Even her naps were just on my lap as we were often out and she would still have a sleep at her regular times, just on my lap, which was fine. I realised that I absolutely LOVE having her in bed with us and cuddling her and it just feels so right. Luckily DH was happy to go along with it and even though we've been back for a few weeks she just sleeps in our bed anyway. She also still takes her naps on my lap, normally I finish feeding her and she falls asleep and I just let her stay there while I do work on the laptop, which is quite convenient and I do enjoy having her so close. So it's all working quite well for us at the moment, but I'm aware that it might cause issues later on, like now she seems to need to snuggle next to me to sleep. I'm quite happy letting her nap on my lap, but should I be making her nap elsewhere? As far as sleeping at night, obviously when she's older she will need her own bed - but how long do others keep their baby in bed with them? (DD is 6 months now). And if she is that dependant on me for sleeping are we going to have major problems when she wakes up and I'm not there? (I love the fact that currently she opens her eyes in the morning, snuggles and smiles and starts chattering away.) Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back to sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start limiting it at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much to feed on her own? They go on their own and then the loneliness sets in... for mum. LOL Ronnie loves to feed a lot at night too. Lately it has been less and less and last night I couldn't sleep for quite some time because I wasn't sure why he didn't want to. There is quite a abit of information at askdrsears.com regarding the night nurser. If you don't mind it, then go with it, but if you do mind it, there is some advice to help with it. It is wownderful waking up with them. I konw how you feel to see such a happy child in the morning. Jo |
#4
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Questions For the Co-sleepers....
"Linda" wrote in message ... How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at that point how do you do it? Either you or the baby will decide they sleep better on their own. How you do it really depends on how old the child is and personality types etc. It will go differently depending on how ready the child is too. For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my stand on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now. :-) Ah - things never turn out how we think do they, lol. I'm quite happy letting her nap on my lap, but should I be making her nap elsewhere? I've read plenty of stories that had different outcomes but I can only share my experience. I nursed both my older kids off for naps and at night and co-slept at night. I always held my oldest for naps and often held the second. The oldest did not nap unless he was held, period. He mostly didn't nap unless he was nursed to sleep. I could usually nurse him and move him to dh. He didn't nap for the sitter or dad unless he sort of just fell over. The second napped better for everyone else. If I nursed him and put him down he napped for about 40 minutes (held or not) He napped a couple of hours if he went to sleep for anyone else (not held). As far as sleeping at night, obviously when she's older she will need her own bed - but how long do others keep their baby in bed with them? Hunter was 'in transition' from 3-5years old. Luke was around 3yo but he still comes into my bed a lot. And if she is that dependant on me for sleeping are we going to have major problems when she wakes up and I'm not there? I did have problems with this. I put them to bed and would have to go back in every 30-40 minutes and spend another 1/2 hour getting them back to sleep. When I got out of bed in the morning, so did they. It didn't matter if they were ready to get up or not. Luke was nearly 4yo when he was still getting up and laying on the bathroom floor when I'd get ready for work. (I love the fact that currently she opens her eyes in the morning, snuggles and smiles and starts chattering away.) Aww :-) Luke did that. Hunter cried when he woke up for some reason. Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back to sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start limiting it at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much to feed on her own? For mine I do feel co-sleeping led to lots of night nursing. I finally weaned mine off the every 2 hr feeds when they were 18mos old. They continued to wake at night asking to nurse until they were completely weaned. They were still co-sleeping at that time though. I don't feel safe sleeping with my twins so I have them in their crib. They are sleeping much better then my other two did at this age for what it is worth. Actually they are 3 months and sleeping much better then my other two did at 4 years, lol. I still like co-sleeping though. I think it is great. -- Nikki, mama to Hunter 4/99 Luke 4/01 Brock 4/06 Ben 4/06 |
#5
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Questions For the Co-sleepers....
Linda wrote: How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at that point how do you do it? We were accidental co-sleepers, and I have to tell you, it came and went for a few years. We finally decided enough was enough when the small girl took up sleeping perpendicular to us and kicking us off the bed... that was when she was about two. We got her to cooperate by sitting her down and very carefully explaining how nobody was sleeping well at night, and she had to stay in her own bed all night so that mommy and daddy weren't cranky and sick all the time anymore, and so that SHE wouldn't be sick all the time anymore. And we made it clear she was welcome to come in and snuggle in the mornings, which she stilll does, to this day. Of course, now I'm pregnant we're having trouble with her climbing back in to sleep with me a couple of times a night; it's not something you'll be able to stop all at once... stopping co-sleeping is a kind of gradual, weaning process... |
#6
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Questions For the Co-sleepers....
"Linda" wrote in message
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at that point how do you do it? When no one is getting any sleep anymore. The age to stop co-sleeping is parent and child dependent. She also still takes her naps on my lap, normally I finish feeding her and she falls asleep and I just let her stay there while I do work on the laptop, which is quite convenient and I do enjoy having her so close. Personally, I wouldn't have a baby nap on my lap. That isn't something I feel that makes good sleep for a baby and also you are not able to get anything done. IMO, it sets yourself up for always having the child sleep that way. I always laid the babies down in their bassinet in a cool, dark room with a fan going for white noise. They would sleep anywhere from 2-4 hours depending on the time of day. Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back to sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start limiting it at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much to feed on her own? No, don't limit her at all. Her stomach is the size of her fist and will need to eat often for her to grow. My girls stopped waking up in the night at around 8-9 months of age, but every baby is different and it also depends on what patterns you have established, i.e. if you feed them at every waking when they are older, they will have that pattern of feeding every time. -- Sue (mom to three girls) |
#7
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Questions For the Co-sleepers....
Linda wrote:
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed Simply put: Either you'll get fed up with it, or your husband will, or she will. That's the time. Opinions of friends, neighbours, doctors, and members of the family who don't sleep in that bed don't count. ;-) and at that point how do you do it? There are all kinds of ideas out there. I used Tracy Hogg's PU/PD method from "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" to get Jamie going to sleep for naps and the beginning of the evening. Then I night-weaned him when he was sixteen months and within a week or two of this he started sleeping through (which is by no means everyone's experience). You can use the PU/PD method to deal with night wakings as well if you can be bothered (as far as I was concerned, in the middle of the night I wanted to keep things as quick and simple as possible). Briefly put, the technique is to stand by the bed giving the baby a quick cuddle every time he tries to get up and then putting him straight down again. Her books are bloody irritating despite that particular technique being extremely helpful, so I'd recommend getting the book from the library or reading that bit in the bookshop before deciding whether or not you want to buy it (and don't touch "Secrets Of The Baby Whisperer with a bargepole - it's a complete waste of time). For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my stand on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now. Heh. I'd be laughing at myself. I wasn't going to co-sleep until I had a baby. ;-) [...] I'm quite happy letting her nap on my lap, but should I be making her nap elsewhere? Not if you're OK with it. You'll probably find that over the next few months she'll get too big to nap on your lap easily, and you can change things then. As far as sleeping at night, obviously when she's older she will need her own bed - but how long do others keep their baby in bed with them? (DD is 6 months now). I did the PU/PD thing for nap and bedtime when Jamie was just over a year old, and went on taking him into bed when he woke during the night until he started sleeping through. And if she is that dependant on me for sleeping are we going to have major problems when she wakes up and I'm not there? (I love the fact that currently she opens her eyes in the morning, snuggles and smiles and starts chattering away.) Well, you're pretty soon going to end up with practical problems - once she starts getting mobile, you'll either have to do some major safety-proofing of the area round the bed, or get her into her cot in the mornings at that point. Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back to sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start limiting it at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much to feed on her own? She might change of her own accord, she might not. Again - if it becomes a problem, that's when you can change it. All the best, Sarah -- http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com "That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell |
#8
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Questions For the Co-sleepers....
Hi Linda,
My DD2 has just turned 6 months and I am also co-sleeping. I didn't do this with DD1 and felt so much more exhausted, through getting up and sitting for the night feeds and then patiently trying to resettle her in her cot. DD1 didn't sleep great (I did nurse her to sleep) and it was tough. Finally, I moved her to a sofa bed when she was 18 months and she finally learnt to go to sleep after a story and 'night, night' at 2 and a half year's old (when DD2 came along!). With DD1 was a wonderful nursling and nursed till just after turning 2 (when she self-weaned - I was 20 weeks pregnant at the time). I nursed her to sleep for her day naps and loved to nap with her. As she got older I would nurse her to sleep on the sofa bed (nice and safe on the floor, with all other safety measures considered) and then get up and do my errands around the house. I have fond memories of her toddling into the lounge after a sleep, or sometimes asking for more 'baaboo' (her word for nursing)! DD2 was in our bedroom from day one (due to the house we're in) and I have loved it. After a few weeks of trying to put her in her cot, after her night feeds, I gave up and brought her into our bed. I have loved having her in bed and feel much more rested for it. However, I have now noticed that my husband and I are beginning to disturb her sleep and actually wake her. She is also getting increasingly more mobile. We are moving house in a few weeks and she will have a room of her own, so I've decided to get a futon and safe proof her room. I will nurse her to sleep and then go into my own bedroom (as I am missing 'couple time' with hubbie, though he has enjoyed having bubs in bed with us too - and she has a very close bond with him as a result) . When she wakes in the night, I'll go in and nurse her back to sleep and depending on how tired I am, or how much I sense she needs my presence, I'll either stay or return to my own room. I found Elizabeth Pantley's 'No Cry Sleep Solution' brilliant for slow methods on teaching babies and toddlers how to settle themselves to sleep. I always try to stop DD2 from nursing herself completely to sleep and try to gently disengage her when I know she's not actually feeding, but just comfort sucking. Then I say a little 'night, night' phrase, so she is not quite alseep (but very close). For day naps, DD2 will rarely be nursed to sleep (too much noise going on with DD1), so I rock her in the sling (and then she sleeps on my lap, just like you!), or she has a nap in the carseat (I park up and do drawing/puzzles etc. with DD2!), or sometimes she sleeps in the 'front pack' and sleeps for a couple of hours when I'm out walking, especially near the sea (mmm, all that fresh air!). I have yet to 'teach' her how to sleep in the buggy, but know I'll have to when she gets heavier! I guess you've just got to go with your instincts and your child. Good luck! I thought I'd never get DD1 to sleep all night and go to sleep by herself, but it did happen and I know it will, one day, with DD2. The older they are, the more the understand and you can talk through your expectations and make it all the more appealing for them. Sarah "Linda" wrote in message ... How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at that point how do you do it? For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my stand on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now. DH had a business trip a few months ago so DD and I went along and although she had been sleeping through for 6-8 hours she decided just before we left that she would wake up every couple hours and feed instead. As we were all in one room while we were away I ended up bringing her into our bed just to try to settle her so DH could still get his sleep. When we got back sometimes she went in her cot, sometimes I would bring her into bed if I was really tired. Then I travelled to see relatives and decided she would just be in my bed the whole time, not evening trying to put her in a cot. Even her naps were just on my lap as we were often out and she would still have a sleep at her regular times, just on my lap, which was fine. I realised that I absolutely LOVE having her in bed with us and cuddling her and it just feels so right. Luckily DH was happy to go along with it and even though we've been back for a few weeks she just sleeps in our bed anyway. She also still takes her naps on my lap, normally I finish feeding her and she falls asleep and I just let her stay there while I do work on the laptop, which is quite convenient and I do enjoy having her so close. So it's all working quite well for us at the moment, but I'm aware that it might cause issues later on, like now she seems to need to snuggle next to me to sleep. I'm quite happy letting her nap on my lap, but should I be making her nap elsewhere? As far as sleeping at night, obviously when she's older she will need her own bed - but how long do others keep their baby in bed with them? (DD is 6 months now). And if she is that dependant on me for sleeping are we going to have major problems when she wakes up and I'm not there? (I love the fact that currently she opens her eyes in the morning, snuggles and smiles and starts chattering away.) Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back to sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start limiting it at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much to feed on her own? |
#9
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Questions For the Co-sleepers....
Linda wrote:
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at that point how do you do it? For Pillbug, it was when I got pregnant and didn't want him kicking me anymore. Right now, with Rocky, he's 13 months and I cannot imagine him not sleeping with me! For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my stand on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now. I never even knew about cosleeping. I just assumed everyone used cribs because that's what you see in all the movies, advertisements, etc. And then, one day, I brought Pillbug into my bed and it felt so right. Now I wish I had never put him in the bassinet, because I was *always* worried about him in there. When I have a baby in bed with me, I never worry! -- Anita -- |
#10
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Questions For the Co-sleepers....
Linda wrote: How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at that point how do you do it? DD1 was capable of sleeping alone at age 3, but wasn't really "ready" for another year and a half emotionally. DD2 would be happier if Mommy would just knock it off with the cosleeping shtick and let her sleep, but I honestly can't get my mind around doing a crib at this late stage. We recently got a king sized bed, which helps a lot. I am in cosleeping for the long haul. *I* sleep terribly when my babies are far from me and I can't hear them breathe. DD1 started falling asleep in her own room at age 4, and would come into my room in the middle of the night. This just naturally got later and later until I told her to wait until sunrise (she was coming in at 5 am when I had to get up at 6, for example...) and then by the time she was 5, she wasn't cosleeping at all. Jenrose |
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