12 months old...

Thanks for the food ideas, guys. Will eats all those foods - but only
when it suits him. Dinner is usually the best meal, where he'll eat
veges and then some yoghurt for dessert or whatever.

Today I bumped into the CHN and she said, 'You know what you have to do?
Stop BF him' I just looked at her and blinked. "oh, I don't mean
full stop, but you should only be feeding him 3 times a day now that
he's one'. So - what happened to demand feeding? And she said if he
doesn't eat anything it is because he knows that he only has to wait a
few hours and he'll be offered the breast again anyway. Well pffft to
that - I've offered 4 times today since 6am (and it's now 4pm) and he
took it once - at 3pm.

I'm just thinking he's not hungry and leaving it at that. I'd much
rather him have breastmilk than nothing at all. I'll just offer meals at
usual times, and afternoon snacks and he'll take it if he wants it.

Thanks for your support, guys!

Jo

"Notchalk" wrote in message
...
Mum of Two wrote:

I would be wary of attributing too much of this to breastfeeding,
especially with a 12 month old, and assuming that it will improve without
work. Parenthood dramatically changes the dynamics, and it's easy after
all those sleepless nights to begin seeing your partner as a
brother/flatmate/co-worker or in any number of asexual contexts.
I know you -know- this, but don't forget that for women, foreplay takes
all day. Now that Will is a year old, how long will he go between feeds?
Can you get a babysitter and go out and catch a movie, have a hot spa, a
romantic walk? Even just turn off the TV, put on some soft music,
and -talk-. Not about Will, or finances, or home renovations, but about
yourselves. And listen.

/end unsolicited advice



Heh, no, keep it coming, don't end it here! I just like to know that
it's normal (ish) I still haven't got my period back, so I guess
that's why I was attributing the no libido thing to breastfeeding - I
figure my body knows it's not time for more babies yet, so why bother
getting excited!?

Well, certainly if you haven't got your cycles back that could have
something to do with it. I got mine back at about 4 months pp, so it was a
bit different for me. What raised alarm bells was when you said that the
relationship is less 'cuddly' and that he felt more like a brother...those
things can certainly lead to a lowered libido, but they're more than likely
a result of being overtired and not having enough relaxed time alone
together to connect. They're 'normal', but left unchecked they could cause
real problems.
I was given some great advice by a mother of three when I was pregnant with
#1, and sadly I never took it. I guess I'm one of those pig-headed people
who likes to learn from personal experience. :-P

I can leave will for 8 hours to go to work and he takes no breastmilk in
that time, so I know I could leave him with my sister or my niece. But
that's all so very 'planned' IYKWIM?

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean unfortunately! However, you don't need to
plan exactly what you're going to do with that time. You could just lie back
and have a relaxed cuddle and listen to some music, or have a bottle of wine
put aside and a board game like Scrabble (or Twister ;-).
Sex will happen when you've worked on the relationship stuff :-)


--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/
My blog: http://spaces.msn.com/members/querer-hijo-querer-hija/

Mum of Two wrote:

Sex will happen when you've worked on the relationship stuff :-)



That is precisely the problem, I think. I feel there is a bit of
resentment on both sides, and it makes it hard to let go and get over it.

Thanks again,

Jo

Today I bumped into the CHN and she said, 'You know what you have to do?
Stop BF him' I just looked at her and blinked. "oh, I don't mean full
stop, but you should only be feeding him 3 times a day now that he's one'.

She's partially right, I know that when I saw a nutrition person, as a
general session, not specifically about me or my children, she said that the
reason a lot of toddlers don't eat enough solids is because they are having
too much milk and that a significant proportion of children referred to
child dieticians for low appetite are just too full to eat, but we're
talking 18mths+ here, but there has to be some kind of transition.

I suppose you could do things like offer breakfast before feeding on waking
up, 3 times a day is not an abnormal number of feeds for a 1 year old, but
it isn't in real life, because what if your baby doesn't sleep through and
you are feeding that many times in the night? we were like that with number
1, so we were doing 6-8 feeds a day at age 1, but it did go down to roughly
3 when we night weaned him (personal choice).

Anne