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The Danger of Scaring Spankers
According to Straus and Mouradian's 1998 study, virtually all of the damage that correlates with spanking seems to be associated with situations in which parents (mothers in the case of that particular study) sometimes or frequently spank as a result of having "lost it." If parents who use spanking define their expectations in such a way that they spank before they are ready to lose their tempers, that holds down the risk that they will spank while they don't have themselves under control. According to Straus and Mouradian's study, that type of use of spanking appears to pose no more than minimal danger if it poses a danger at all. But now suppose that people who try to portray all spanking as inherently harmful scare the parents to a point where they are no longer willing to spank before they lose their tempers and, because a spanking does not occur at an earlier point, a situation escalates to a point where a parent loses his or her temper. If the lost temper results in the parent's no longer having the self-control to avoid spanking, that puts the child in a category associated with a dramatically higher risk than if the child had been spanked earlier while the parent was still under control. And while I don't know what studies might have been conducted on the subject, I would not be the slightest bit surprised if the sorts of things parents often say to their children when they lose their tempers cause statistically significant negative long-term effects - effects that would be more damaging than if the child got a calmly delivered swat or two before things got so far out of hand that the parent lost his or her temper. As I've said in other posts, I think it's better if parents try to use win/win methods and other positive parenting skills as much as they are willing to make time for in order to reduce (and perhaps even eliminate) their need to resort to threats or punishment. But based on Straus and Mouradian's work, the worst thing that parents can do is get scared away from spanking while they are calm, and then spank anyhow once they lose their tempers. Nathan Straus, M.A. and Mouradian, V.E. 1998. "Impulsive Corporal Punishment by Mothers and Antisocial Behavior and Impulsiveness of Children." _Behavioral Sciences & The Law_ 16(3):353- |
#2
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The Danger of Scaring Spankers
This is what I have said for years. Another issue that the child savers
don't understand is that children and adults are more likely to feel they were abused as children if they hear others speak bad about it. In other words a person can grow up not having any resentment to there parents for being spanked, but when they hear how bad it is from so many people they tend to start fixating on the past. Next they start questioning there past. Soon they are the victims and there parents are the abusers. In fact I have seen studies with people who were supposable abused and it was found that many of the instances they remembered never even happened. Ever heard of a pipe dream? People tend to team up on a person that has opposing views. They use brainwashing tactics to get there way. They speak loudly, over talk the person, use big words and associate the issue a being bad, sick, cruel or something that is out of the ordinary. Statements like "You parents abused you" "I can't believe they did that" "My parents would never do that" When in reality most parents spank and those that try not to have more trouble with there kids. people here will say otherwise, but I know what I see in the real world not what some lab experiment is suppose to prove! But now suppose that people who try to portray all spanking as inherently harmful scare the parents to a point where they are no longer willing to spank before they lose their tempers and, because a spanking does not occur at an earlier point, a situation escalates to a point where a parent loses his or her temper. If the lost temper results in the parent's no longer having the self-control to avoid spanking, that puts the child in a category associated with a dramatically higher risk than if the child had been spanked earlier while the parent was still under control. And while I don't know what studies might have been conducted on the subject, I would not be the slightest bit surprised if the sorts of things parents often say to their children when they lose their tempers cause statistically significant negative long-term effects - effects that would be more damaging than if the child got a calmly delivered swat or two before things got so far out of and that the parent lost his or her temper. |
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The Danger of Scaring Spankers
"Fern5827" wrote in message ...
Bill sent in They speak loudly, over talk the person, use big words and associate the issue a being bad, sick, cruel or something that is out of the ordinary. Statements like "You parents abused ... Gee....no one on this NG talks that , way do they, K-9? ;-) Careful. Doug might read this ng too. That is exactly the way he talks about child welfare. I remind you of "jackboots." Fact is billyf is correct. We DO associate the issue with it being bad, sick, and cruel, though it is NOT out of the ordinary. But then that is the human condition some of us would like to see changed. You persuade me more and more, Montia perfoliata, that LaVonne and Chris are correct, that there must be a law against CP used on children. I don't like it but I'm having to face the truth you poor things make so apparent. You are deeply psychologically damaged. You have either no, or too low a capacity for empathy to realise the horror of the use of pain on children. I am sorry for your disability. And your social disease that arises from it: Lack of conscience. This society, and most for that matter, have a very serious problem with compulsiveness and self delusion. It derives from how individuals were treated as children, that impaired their development of a conscience. Thanks for posting. Kane Bill and Nathan communicate: Subject: The Danger of Scaring Spankers From: "billy f" Date: 6/14/2004 7:11 AM Eastern Daylight Time Message-id: This is what I have said for years. Another issue that the child savers don't understand is that children and adults are more likely to feel they were abused as children if they hear others speak bad about it. In other words a person can grow up not having any resentment to there parents for being spanked, but when they hear how bad it is from so many people they tend to start fixating on the past. Next they start questioning there past. Soon they are the victims and there parents are the abusers. In fact I have seen studies with people who were supposable abused and it was found that many of the instances they remembered never even happened. Ever heard of a pipe dream? People tend to team up on a person that has opposing views. They use brainwashing tactics to get there way. They speak loudly, over talk the person, use big words and associate the issue a being bad, sick, cruel or something that is out of the ordinary. Statements like "You parents abused you" "I can't believe they did that" "My parents would never do that" When in reality most parents spank and those that try not to have more trouble with there kids. people here will say otherwise, but I know what I see in the real world not what some lab experiment is suppose to prove! But now suppose that people who try to portray all spanking as inherently harmful scare the parents to a point where they are no longer willing to spank before they lose their tempers and, because a spanking does not occur at an earlier point, a situation escalates to a point where a parent loses his or her temper. If the lost temper results in the parent's no longer having the self-control to avoid spanking, that puts the child in a category associated with a dramatically higher risk than if the child had been spanked earlier while the parent was still under control. And while I don't know what studies might have been conducted on the subject, I would not be the slightest bit surprised if the sorts of things parents often say to their children when they lose their tempers cause statistically significant negative long-term effects - effects that would be more damaging than if the child got a calmly delivered swat or two before things got so far out of and that the parent lost his or her temper. |
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