Minor vent

oht

Grrr, I just had to vent here because nobody else appreciates how I feel...

My just turned one yr old niece has been weaned because "hardly any milk is
coming out now" and my SIL wants to start "drinking and smoking pot" again.
When I said "wow, I guess partying must be a big part of her life", to my
BIL his response was "No, only the baby is her life now". WTF? I guess I
should be glad the kid got BM for a year, though mom went back to school
part-time when baby was only 6 weeks and was pumping with Medela
Mini-Electric every day so "someone else could be tied down"...then she
talks about wanting another baby...grrr..I just don't geddit. I mean, the
partying days should be long gone now IMO. I dunno, guess I'm just a boring
old fart!

CY wrote:
oht

Grrr, I just had to vent here because nobody else appreciates how I feel...

My just turned one yr old niece has been weaned because "hardly any milk is
coming out now" and my SIL wants to start "drinking and smoking pot" again.
When I said "wow, I guess partying must be a big part of her life", to my
BIL his response was "No, only the baby is her life now". WTF? I guess I
should be glad the kid got BM for a year, though mom went back to school
part-time when baby was only 6 weeks and was pumping with Medela
Mini-Electric every day so "someone else could be tied down"...then she
talks about wanting another baby...grrr..I just don't geddit. I mean, the
partying days should be long gone now IMO. I dunno, guess I'm just a boring
old fart!



*shrug* I still drink and enjoy life while breastfeeding! [no pot
though] She really doesn't have to give it up for that! However kudos
for making it to one year. I have one year of maternity leave and so
making it to a year should be easy for me - anyone who pumps for a year
to provide bm for their baby deserves a lot of praise. How many women
give up when going back to work [or school] after only say, 12 weeks?

I do see me weaning at one year when I go back to work. It is a personal
decision and one I do not need a reason for.

Jacqueline

I agree with you - I guess what irked me was the pot thing and the general
"don't tie me down" thing. I don't know...going back to school was only
part time, and she wasn't pumping full time, but had she not done that , she
would have still had tons of milk. Didn't mean to offend anyone here, just
venting...
"Cuddlefish" wrote in message
newsLbaf.386515$oW2.316922@pd7tw1no...
CY wrote:
oht

Grrr, I just had to vent here because nobody else appreciates how I
feel...

My just turned one yr old niece has been weaned because "hardly any milk
is coming out now" and my SIL wants to start "drinking and smoking pot"
again. When I said "wow, I guess partying must be a big part of her
life", to my BIL his response was "No, only the baby is her life now".
WTF? I guess I should be glad the kid got BM for a year, though mom went
back to school part-time when baby was only 6 weeks and was pumping with
Medela Mini-Electric every day so "someone else could be tied
down"...then she talks about wanting another baby...grrr..I just don't
geddit. I mean, the partying days should be long gone now IMO. I dunno,
guess I'm just a boring old fart!

*shrug* I still drink and enjoy life while breastfeeding! [no pot though]
She really doesn't have to give it up for that! However kudos for making
it to one year. I have one year of maternity leave and so making it to a
year should be easy for me - anyone who pumps for a year to provide bm for
their baby deserves a lot of praise. How many women give up when going
back to work [or school] after only say, 12 weeks?

I do see me weaning at one year when I go back to work. It is a personal
decision and one I do not need a reason for.

Jacqueline

"CY" wrote in message
news:2Lcaf.294911$084.184384@attbi_s22...
I agree with you - I guess what irked me was the pot thing and the general
"don't tie me down" thing. I don't know...going back to school was only
part time, and she wasn't pumping full time, but had she not done that ,
she would have still had tons of milk. Didn't mean to offend anyone here,
just venting...


I got my hackles up reading your post about her - having a baby does tie
you down to some extent. If you don't want to be tied down, then don't have
one.

I got my hackles up reading your post about her - having a baby does tie
you down to some extent. If you don't want to be tied down, then don't
have one.

that's exactly what I think, 3 of us who are good friends all now have
children, as it happens we're quite different in age, me being the youngest,
the oldest being 15 years older than me, the other being somewhere in the
middle, we were out partying to celebrate the oldest 40th and her 1st baby
was just 7 weeks old so obviously children was a topic of conversation,
there were a couple of married without childen both between me and the
middle on in age and I couple of singles, who are similar age to me. C (the
one who was 40) has been having a hard time adjusting to life with a baby,
she thrives on social times and freedom and people, F (the one in the
middle) was bemoaning the fact that they couldn't just spontaneously fly to
Rome, or similar, me on the other had was thrilled as I've had my children
so young I've not have the time to do these things and I don't miss them. C
had already stopped breastfeeding and had had whole days away from the baby,
F was heavily pregnant and planning to mixed feed from about 2 weeks old
(she exclusively breastfed her first, who never accepted a bottle), her main
reason being she needed the freedom, to be able to go out for an evening, do
things for herself, that kind of thing. These are things that haven't really
crossed my mind, I've been out a couple of times, I show up late so I can
get Ada to bed, or I take her with me if it's suitable, it's nice to be able
to go to a bible study and not take Ada, but if I'm needed I don't go or I
take her, having children is like that, even with an older child who is no
longer nursing, sometimes he needs his mummy and I'm there, that's my first
priority. It comes down to the classic problem of wanting to have it all, it
has been a struggle for me to come to terms with almost certainly not being
able to pursue my first choice of career, but I knew that when I became
pregnant, I decided to take the risk because if I didn't get pregnant I'd
have liked to still have my options open.

This is getting long now, but yes children do tie you down, but that is a
good thing, my life feels so stable and secure and my children are getting
me full time joyfully and willingly.

Anne

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...

I got my hackles up reading your post about her - having a baby does tie
you down to some extent. If you don't want to be tied down, then don't
have one.

that's exactly what I think, 3 of us who are good friends all now have
children, as it happens we're quite different in age, me being the
youngest, the oldest being 15 years older than me, the other being
somewhere in the middle, we were out partying to celebrate the oldest 40th
and her 1st baby was just 7 weeks old so obviously children was a topic of
conversation, there were a couple of married without childen both between
me and the middle on in age and I couple of singles, who are similar age
to me. C (the one who was 40) has been having a hard time adjusting to
life with a baby, she thrives on social times and freedom and people, F
(the one in the middle) was bemoaning the fact that they couldn't just
spontaneously fly to Rome, or similar, me on the other had was thrilled as
I've had my children so young I've not have the time to do these things
and I don't miss them. C had already stopped breastfeeding and had had
whole days away from the baby, F was heavily pregnant and planning to
mixed feed from about 2 weeks old (she exclusively breastfed her first,
who never accepted a bottle), her main reason being she needed the
freedom, to be able to go out for an evening, do things for herself, that
kind of thing. These are things that haven't really crossed my mind, I've
been out a couple of times, I show up late so I can get Ada to bed, or I
take her with me if it's suitable, it's nice to be able to go to a bible
study and not take Ada, but if I'm needed I don't go or I take her, having
children is like that, even with an older child who is no longer nursing,
sometimes he needs his mummy and I'm there, that's my first priority. It
comes down to the classic problem of wanting to have it all, it has been a
struggle for me to come to terms with almost certainly not being able to
pursue my first choice of career, but I knew that when I became pregnant,
I decided to take the risk because if I didn't get pregnant I'd have liked
to still have my options open.

This is getting long now, but yes children do tie you down, but that is a
good thing, my life feels so stable and secure and my children are getting
me full time joyfully and willingly.

Anne

I had my first child at 21 yrs old, she was not planned, and it did severely
disrupt my life. Not so much partying, because I was never really into
that, but I was in the middle of college and still trying to grow up myself.
Switching gears was hard, and while I did knuckle down and do what needed to
be done, I didn't enjoy it. 8 yrs later, boy am I happy to have my
daughter. And by the time she reached about age 4 or 5, there was nothing
that I wanted to do that I couldn't do with her - camping, hiking, skiing,
etc.

Now I have another one on the way, but being older and wiser, I feel so much
different. I do know things will change again. I will be "tied down" for
awhile. But the difference this time is that I have a super supportive
husband, and we'll probably start doing things with the baby much earlier
than I was willing to attempt being a single parent.

Babies DO tie you down. It's part of the deal.

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...

I got my hackles up reading your post about her - having a baby does tie
you down to some extent. If you don't want to be tied down, then don't
have one.

that's exactly what I think, 3 of us who are good friends all now have
children, as it happens we're quite different in age, me being the
youngest, the oldest being 15 years older than me, the other being
somewhere in the middle, we were out partying to celebrate the oldest 40th
and her 1st baby was just 7 weeks old so obviously children was a topic of
conversation, there were a couple of married without childen both between
me and the middle on in age and I couple of singles, who are similar age
to me. C (the one who was 40) has been having a hard time adjusting to
life with a baby, she thrives on social times and freedom and people, F
(the one in the middle) was bemoaning the fact that they couldn't just
spontaneously fly to Rome, or similar, me on the other had was thrilled as
I've had my children so young I've not have the time to do these things
and I don't miss them. C had already stopped breastfeeding and had had
whole days away from the baby, F was heavily pregnant and planning to
mixed feed from about 2 weeks old (she exclusively breastfed her first,
who never accepted a bottle), her main reason being she needed the
freedom, to be able to go out for an evening, do things for herself, that
kind of thing. These are things that haven't really crossed my mind, I've
been out a couple of times, I show up late so I can get Ada to bed, or I
take her with me if it's suitable, it's nice to be able to go to a bible
study and not take Ada, but if I'm needed I don't go or I take her, having
children is like that, even with an older child who is no longer nursing,
sometimes he needs his mummy and I'm there, that's my first priority. It
comes down to the classic problem of wanting to have it all, it has been a
struggle for me to come to terms with almost certainly not being able to
pursue my first choice of career, but I knew that when I became pregnant,
I decided to take the risk because if I didn't get pregnant I'd have liked
to still have my options open.

This is getting long now, but yes children do tie you down, but that is a
good thing, my life feels so stable and secure and my children are getting
me full time joyfully and willingly.


We are older first time parents - 37 and 41. We both work full time, four
days a week, and those four days are long, long days and we miss our little
guy when we are away from him. So we want to spend as much time with him as
we can - so we haven't yet gone out alone and left him at home. People keep
harassing us about how we NEED to go out alone (i think they just want to
watch the kid), but we really don't want to, we LIKE spending time with the
little guy. He goes out with us plenty - the only thing we might be missing
out on is going to the movies, but who needs a theatre when you have
netflix.

I have been surprised that I don't feel lie i am missing out on anything.
But I really don't. I wasnt' exactly a socialite during my pregnancy
anyway. I slept 12 hours a day.

In message %0baf.534502$xm3.72641@attbi_s21, CY writes
I guess I should be glad the kid got BM for a year, though mom went
back to school part-time when baby was only 6 weeks and was pumping
with Medela Mini-Electric every day so "someone else could be tied
down"...

Good for her! I'm terribly impressed by people who start pumping that
early. I was lucky enough to be able to stay at home until DS was 4
months old - I've often thought how difficult it must be to get back to
working as early as six weeks (or earlier, in horrible cases I've read
about). Kudos to your SIL for taking the effort to pump (especially
since it sounds as though her pump wasn't all that optimal).

then she talks about wanting another baby...grrr..I just don't geddit.
I mean, the partying days should be long gone now IMO.

Who said anything about partying? You don't have to be a mad party
animal to enjoy a drink or a joint now and again (hopefully she isn't
smoking the pot in her own house if the baby's there, but that's a
separate issue). If your SIL enjoys these things, then she's already
done without things she enjoys for a whole year so that she can
breastfeed - on top of however long she gave them up for during the
pregnancy and maybe while TTC.

From the sound of it, your SIL has gone to quite some effort to continue
breastfeeding for a decent length of time. I think she should be
commended for that. It's a real shame that people seem to be rushing to
criticise her instead.


All the best,

Sarah

--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.blogspot.com

But how do we _know_ that nobody ever said on their deathbed that they wished
they’d spent more time at the office?

Sarah Vaughan writes:

:then she talks about wanting another baby...grrr..I just don't geddit.
:I mean, the partying days should be long gone now IMO.

: Who said anything about partying? You don't have to be a mad party
: animal to enjoy a drink or a joint now and again (hopefully she isn't
: smoking the pot in her own house if the baby's there, but that's a
: separate issue). If your SIL enjoys these things, then she's already
: done without things she enjoys for a whole year so that she can
: breastfeed - on top of however long she gave them up for during the
: pregnancy and maybe while TTC.

: From the sound of it, your SIL has gone to quite some effort to continue
: breastfeeding for a decent length of time. I think she should be
: commended for that. It's a real shame that people seem to be rushing to
: criticise her instead.

You know, Sarah, I don't want to be rude, but compared to a lot of
the other pediatricians and other medical workers that post on this
newsgroup, your postings more often have the tone of an apologist
for standard medical care as opposed to more child centered care.

I guess that is OK if you want to do in in your personal parenting
style, but I don't think it is useful to push this viewpoint in this
newsgroup, which is more centered on the development of the child.

And I am not just responding to this post, but to the overall tone
of your posts throughout the threads you have posted on recently.

I personally find that it makes any advice you give less credible.

Sorry,
Larry

Don't get too excited here! AFAIK, the kid was fed only once a day on BM
for the past 6 months. My SIL was not at school fulltime, but left my niece
frequently in the care of anyone who'd take her. Nevertheless, my beef
isn't about the weaning as much as the REASON for it. I was just commenting
that if it's such a hardship going without pot and booze for 2 years, and
you feel "tied down" not being able to spontaneously go out anymore, either
don't have kids, or live with it (she's complained about it since the early
days of her pg). The pot smoking (by her DH) does go on in the house while
the baby is in the house (but not in the same room). Hey, we are all
different. Again, I'm not critisizing anyone here, just venting out loud
about something that irks ME.
"Sarah Vaughan" wrote in message
...
In message %0baf.534502$xm3.72641@attbi_s21, CY writes
I guess I should be glad the kid got BM for a year, though mom went back
to school part-time when baby was only 6 weeks and was pumping with Medela
Mini-Electric every day so "someone else could be tied down"...

Good for her! I'm terribly impressed by people who start pumping that
early. I was lucky enough to be able to stay at home until DS was 4
months old - I've often thought how difficult it must be to get back to
working as early as six weeks (or earlier, in horrible cases I've read
about). Kudos to your SIL for taking the effort to pump (especially since
it sounds as though her pump wasn't all that optimal).

then she talks about wanting another baby...grrr..I just don't geddit. I
mean, the partying days should be long gone now IMO.

Who said anything about partying? You don't have to be a mad party animal
to enjoy a drink or a joint now and again (hopefully she isn't smoking the
pot in her own house if the baby's there, but that's a separate issue).
If your SIL enjoys these things, then she's already done without things
she enjoys for a whole year so that she can breastfeed - on top of however
long she gave them up for during the pregnancy and maybe while TTC.

From the sound of it, your SIL has gone to quite some effort to continue
breastfeeding for a decent length of time. I think she should be
commended for that. It's a real shame that people seem to be rushing to
criticise her instead.


All the best,

Sarah

--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.blogspot.com

But how do we _know_ that nobody ever said on their deathbed that they
wished
they'd spent more time at the office?