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#21
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How much privacy do you give them?
Wendy wrote in message ...
dejablues wrote: The kids have their own computer, with no internet access. If they want internet, they have to use the one in the kitchen or our bedroom. My husband is a network admin guy and I use computers in my business so we've got various generations of computers lying around: So have your husband set up a firewall and some filters. The one thing my experience as an admin person on the job has taught me is that my home system should be as bullet-proof as a corporate system. I have to say that I'm a bit disappointed that no one took the position that the adolescent has a right to privacy. I feel cruel not giving it to her. Don't you ask her questions like "where are you going?" if she goes out? Do you ask her what she did at school? (I know, I know: "Nothing." But you *ask,* right?) I think those questions are as much your business as what she's doing on the internet. She has more home computer privacy at 13 than a 40 year old does at work. Though since *I'm* the one doing the monitoring at my job, I have all the privacy I afford myself (including my Google Usenet habit,) but if one of my bosses feels that an employee is using the computers in violation of our written corporate policy, I can and I *will* certainly track that usage down. She's darned lucky. And though I understand that you're torn between knowing what she's doing and respecting her privacy, she *is* only 13 and it *is* your computer system and it *is* your house. You have a right to know what's up. If she were a live-at-home college student or even a high school junior or senior, I'd feel differently. I'd feel very different if she'd bought her own computer and was paying for her own internet access. When I picked her up after school yesterday I started out by saying, "I want to talk about privacy." She said, "Good, when are you going to give me some?" Oops, that wasn't the way I wanted that direction to go. Just reading this, it sounds very smart-assed of her. I hope it wasn't said as I'm "hearing" it. I'm a pretty hot-tempered mom. If my child said something like that to me in the tone I'm imagining, that would be the last of her computer usage at home. (I'd likely live to regret that, too.) I couldn't even promise her that I'd never read her email or look at her chat conversations, but I did promise her that snooping wouldn't be my FIRST stop with no warning, i.e., I'd only do it if I were particularly concerned about something and I would bring up that concern with her first. Unfortunately, you're kind of back-pedaling and she knows it. Of course there's nothing to be done about that now and I'm quite certain I'll be doing much back-pedaling when mine are in their teens. But it seems as though the rules weren't laid out earlier. To me this is akin to rules about how much TV is allowed or whether or not homework is done or how late a kid can stay out. And it's your prerogative as a parent to change the house rules if you think they need to change. - Bev |
#22
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How much privacy do you give them?
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#23
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How much privacy do you give them?
"Marion Baumgarten" wrote in message om... My daughter has hd her won par top since about that age Marion, I think I broke your code -- JennP. mom to Matthew 10/11/00 remove "no........spam" to reply |
#24
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How much privacy do you give them?
"Marion Baumgarten" wrote in message om... My daughter has hd her won par top since about that age (she paid for half of it). She does not have internet acess on it, however- she does use it for school a lot for papers, etc. I think this is wise if you are going to allow a child to have a computer. I guess I just don't understand why a 13 y.o. can't use the family computer for assignments. JMO, I guess. -- JennP. mom to Matthew 10/11/00 remove "no........spam" to reply |
#25
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How much privacy do you give them?
"Sophie" wrote in message ... Heck my kids won't even have TVs in their rooms, let alone computers. Heck, *I* dont' even have a tv in my room. -- JennP. mom to Matthew 10/11/00 remove "no........spam" to reply |
#26
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How much privacy do you give them?
In article P0xqb.131056$Tr4.337381@attbi_s03,
"JennP" wrote: "Marion Baumgarten" wrote in message om... My daughter has hd her won par top since about that age (she paid for half of it). She does not have internet acess on it, however- she does use it for school a lot for papers, etc. I think this is wise if you are going to allow a child to have a computer. I guess I just don't understand why a 13 y.o. can't use the family computer for assignments. JMO, I guess. It may depend upon how much use the computer gets. If you have a parent working from it at home, and another sibling or two or three using it for homework -- well, the log jam can get pretty interesting! Several high schools around here are experimenting with giving all students lap tops, and having the entire campus set up so they can access the library and the internet wherever they are. They have grants for this, and I have two friends whose kids have these "freebies" (which, if I understand correctly, they do NOT get to keep!) It will be interesting to see how this experiment turns out. meh -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#27
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How much privacy do you give them?
On Thu, 06 Nov 2003 19:15:06 GMT, JennP wrote:
"Sophie" wrote in message ... Heck my kids won't even have TVs in their rooms, let alone computers. Heck, *I* dont' even have a tv in my room. We have one TV in our house. And it's just 19". And it was almost impossible to find one that size, in the first place - if you want small, they have 12" sets, if you want big, EVERYONE sells 26"+ sets. But 19"? We had to look at a lot of different retailers here before we found one. |
#28
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How much privacy do you give them?
"JennP" wrote in message news:_4xqb.130620$Fm2.108001@attbi_s04... "Sophie" wrote in message ... Heck my kids won't even have TVs in their rooms, let alone computers. Heck, *I* dont' even have a tv in my room. -- JennP. We got one for our bedroom last Christmas. Dylan hated the idea but then with Iraq it was great for watching TV there and not letting the kids see the news. I'm with you. One computer for everyone. Or maybe a second one, with no internet access, for typing/printing school work. There's no reason for a child to have their own internet access IMO. |
#29
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How much privacy do you give them?
"JennP" wrote in message
news:_4xqb.130620$Fm2.108001@attbi_s04... "Sophie" wrote in message ... Heck my kids won't even have TVs in their rooms, let alone computers. Heck, *I* dont' even have a tv in my room. Oh, me neither. I wouldn't want one, honestly. We have one TV in our living and one in our au pair's room. When she leaves to go back to South Africa next week, we'll have a live-out nanny instead, so we might put the TV that's in her room back in storage. There *is* an old (bought in 1994) Macintosh computer upstairs in Vernon's room. The kids don't play with it much any more because they've mostly outgrown all the games that will run on it. But it's not connected to the Internet and has nothing on it that's not appropriate for children, so I feel no particular need to monitor it. -- Be well, Barbara (Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [20mo] mom) This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop: "Rejuvinate your skin." -- Hydroderm ad Daddy: You're up with the chickens this morning. Aurora: No, I'm up with my dolls! All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful. Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman |
#30
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How much privacy do you give them?
"user" wrote in message
... On Thu, 06 Nov 2003 19:15:06 GMT, JennP wrote: "Sophie" wrote in message ... Heck my kids won't even have TVs in their rooms, let alone computers. Heck, *I* dont' even have a tv in my room. We have one TV in our house. And it's just 19". And it was almost impossible to find one that size, in the first place - if you want small, they have 12" sets, if you want big, EVERYONE sells 26"+ sets. But 19"? We had to look at a lot of different retailers here before we found one. We have 2 that size. You're right though, most are huge. |
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