Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)

"zeldabee" wrote in message
...
Dagny was all, like:
Nope, this absolutely depresses me too. Strollers for little babies
and baby buckets (car seats carried into stores) depress me. I don't
know why the mom doesn't like her kid enough to put her in a
sling/carrier. I hope they all have bad backs.

I do make some use of various paraphenalia but not NEARLY to the
extent of my peers.

I'll use whatever works, but not as a substitute for holding my baby when
he
wants to be held. He hated his swing, so I didn't use it, he loves his
exersaucer, so I use that, he likes being in his high chair for x minutes
at
a time.

When Sprogly was about 3 months old, my co-workers gave me a stroller, and
I
tried it, and he hated it--he started to scream after a block and a half.
I
couldn't manage the big heavy thing on the subway stairs, so I hated it.
Now, at nearly 6 months, he's been out in a stroller with Daycare Lady a
few
times, and he's really enjoyed himself. I've just ordered a lightweight
stroller, and we'll see how it goes. Right now, the sling's still working
for us, but Bloke won't use it and neither will Daycare Lady, so if
anything, they'll use the stroller even if I don't.

I do feel a bit sad for those babies who spend most of their time in
plastic
devices, as so many people remark on what a happy baby Sprogly is, and
he's
a sling baby all the way. But with my back, he probably won't be in the
future when he gets bigger. The only slings that are working for me are
the
ones where he's carried in the center, high up, and that means I can't see
where my feet are going. I've taken two falls, the most recent one being
last Friday...that makes me nervous. (Sprogly wasn't hurt, but I turned my
ankle both times.)


My back hasnt recovered from pregnancy and csection, and Im still having
sciatica. WhenI get really tired, my legs hurt and I get "stumbly". For my
baby's sake
I use the car seat in the shopping cart whenever possible, because I cant
afford for my back or legs to get weak and have problems when I need to pick
her up or carry her/

I'll be one of these bad mothers. I have rheumatological problems and
whilst I'll carry just the baby happily in a sling around the house
(the best option for me), any venturing outside the house will be in
the pram, the baby bucket probably will go into stores and I'm pretty
much praying that a carry cot is acceptably to any future children for
naps, for the sake of my own health.

I don't know what issues you have, but are you sure carrying a baby in a
bucket would help? I have joint issues (something to do with the
connective tissue, I don't really understand it) meaning I am very
vunerable to dislocations/disruptions and joint strains, I also regularly
suffer from aching joints, carrying the car seat is almost the worst thing
I can do, to the point that it is a struggle just getting it from the car
to the house. I dislike the pushchair as I find the world a very pushchair
unfriendly place, so I only use it if I want to use the carrying space
underneath and when I am collecting him from the childminders.

In fact a sling is the best invention ever for me, as a result of my joint
problems I've had fairly major surgery on my left shoulder, a carrier
like a baby bjorn would put too much pressure on that shoulder, whereas I
use the sling with the weight on my right shoulder, fabulous!

Beth wrote:
Hi,

Just thought I'd unload about the gathering I went to the other day. A
friend's 2-month-old was there and I came away feeling so odd after seeing
how he was handled. He was asleep in a bouncy seat when we got there, then
was laid on a blanket after a few minutes' dandling when he awoke. From
there Grandma held him for ten minutes and then he was placed in a swing for
an hour or so. After some cooing and hinting, I got to feed him a bottle,
and he was so into it, rolling his eyes back and sucking down the formula so
lustily that my own milk let down. Made me laugh. But at the same time I
felt so sad for him, sucking on plastic, cradled by plastic. I changed his
diaper after that and it was sodden with yellow urine.

Now I know for a fact that this baby was planned, wanted, and his folks love
him deeply. He's a happy little fellow who smiles promiscuously! I just
can't help but feel a little bleak about all the faux stuff. I fed
thousands of bottles to my niece and nephews and figured out all kinds of
ingenious ways to keep them out of my teenaged hair, but after having my own
son and raising him without many props, things seem different. Do any of
you feel this way about other parenting styles, or am I just particularly
insufferable? :-)

Beth




Well, you don't mention anything that would bother me, but YMMV.

Clisby

Even the diaper??
"Clisby" wrote in message
...


Beth wrote:
Hi,

Just thought I'd unload about the gathering I went to the other day. A
friend's 2-month-old was there and I came away feeling so odd after
seeing
how he was handled. He was asleep in a bouncy seat when we got there,
then
was laid on a blanket after a few minutes' dandling when he awoke. From
there Grandma held him for ten minutes and then he was placed in a swing
for
an hour or so. After some cooing and hinting, I got to feed him a
bottle,
and he was so into it, rolling his eyes back and sucking down the
formula so
lustily that my own milk let down. Made me laugh. But at the same time
I
felt so sad for him, sucking on plastic, cradled by plastic. I changed
his
diaper after that and it was sodden with yellow urine.

Now I know for a fact that this baby was planned, wanted, and his folks
love
him deeply. He's a happy little fellow who smiles promiscuously! I
just
can't help but feel a little bleak about all the faux stuff. I fed
thousands of bottles to my niece and nephews and figured out all kinds
of
ingenious ways to keep them out of my teenaged hair, but after having my
own
son and raising him without many props, things seem different. Do any
of
you feel this way about other parenting styles, or am I just
particularly
insufferable? :-)

Beth




Well, you don't mention anything that would bother me, but YMMV.

Clisby

She had just fed him, maybe he had a really long pee after?

"CY" wrote in message
news:5RJ0c.7750$Zp.2984@fed1read07...
Even the diaper??
"Clisby" wrote in message
...


Beth wrote:
Hi,

Just thought I'd unload about the gathering I went to the other day.
A
friend's 2-month-old was there and I came away feeling so odd after
seeing
how he was handled. He was asleep in a bouncy seat when we got there,
then
was laid on a blanket after a few minutes' dandling when he awoke.
From
there Grandma held him for ten minutes and then he was placed in a
swing
for
an hour or so. After some cooing and hinting, I got to feed him a
bottle,
and he was so into it, rolling his eyes back and sucking down the
formula so
lustily that my own milk let down. Made me laugh. But at the same
time
I
felt so sad for him, sucking on plastic, cradled by plastic. I
changed
his
diaper after that and it was sodden with yellow urine.

Now I know for a fact that this baby was planned, wanted, and his
folks
love
him deeply. He's a happy little fellow who smiles promiscuously! I
just
can't help but feel a little bleak about all the faux stuff. I fed
thousands of bottles to my niece and nephews and figured out all kinds
of
ingenious ways to keep them out of my teenaged hair, but after having
my
own
son and raising him without many props, things seem different. Do any
of
you feel this way about other parenting styles, or am I just
particularly
insufferable? :-)

Beth




Well, you don't mention anything that would bother me, but YMMV.

Clisby

CY wibbled
Clisby wrote
Beth wrote:

I changed his
diaper after that and it was sodden with yellow urine.

Well, you don't mention anything that would bother me, but YMMV.

Even the diaper??

I know from experience that you can change a nappy at 8pm and get the
baby ready for a bath at 8.30pm and find that nappy completely soaked,
equally you can have four dirty - major blowout - nappies in a day
without anything actually being wrong with the baby (once-a-weekers are
*such* fun...). They don't have schedules for these things, and a wet
or dirty nappy says nothing at all about parenting, at first glance.

Jac

nina wrote:

Better to use what you
need judiciously than to poopoo it all together. For a baby to be
more spoiled and attended to than mine, it would have to live in a
pouch on its mothers tummy.

I hate to see a baby crying in a seat or what not but I don't have a problem
seeing a baby in a stroller or seat at the mall or grocery store or what
not. If the baby is content I don't really see the problem.

I lugged mine around in my arms because they wouldn't sit in the darn seat.
Luke would if he fell asleep in the car first. I'd have used one had it
worked out and not felt one bit guilty about it :-)


--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

CY wrote:
Even the diaper??

That she fed him a bottle and then he had a wet diaper?

Sounds pretty normal to me.

Clisby

Buzzy Bee wibbled

Dagny wrote:
but then again I might just have mucked up the snipping as usual!
Nope, this absolutely depresses me too. Strollers for little
babies and baby buckets (car seats carried into stores) depress
me. I don't know why the mom doesn't like her kid enough to put
her in a sling/carrier. I hope they all have bad backs.

I'll be one of these bad mothers. I have rheumatological problems
and whilst I'll carry just the baby happily in a sling around the
house (the best option for me), any venturing outside the house
will be in the pram, the baby bucket probably will go into stores
and I'm pretty much praying that a carry cot is acceptably to any
future children for naps, for the sake of my own health.

There's worse things to do to a child.

Seconded. I do have a bad back, but even without, the combination of
residual SPD and a c-section would have precluded my carrying T far as
a newborn, so yes, he was carried into stores in the bucket (when we
were only going to be in there for five mins so not worth DH putting
the Bjorn on), or taken out regularly in the travel system. It's not
about *liking* your child, it's about *being able to move safely*. Or
even move *at all*.

T spends time in his Bumbo, his swing, the doorway bouncer. He travels
in the buggy or the pushchair, and the car seat. Shock, horror. He even
sits by himself on the floor and plays with his toys (where he is right
this minute). So clearly I'm a terrible mother, as anyone who sees us
in public will not see me carrying him. Oh, how marvellous to make all
one's parenting skills rest on such a simple criterion.

Dagny, and others expressing similar opinions, you don't see us
spending hours playing 'horses' on my knee, or his having his afternoon
and evening naps on my lap (for up to two hours at a time), or our
sharing a bath, or cosleeping for about five hours out of every night.
You can't make a single judgement about how much I *like* my child from
the fact that I have been completely unable to carry him for any
distance for several months now, since he's 27" and 20lb (and a
wriggler) and my back just won't cope with that. You can't see the mess
infection made of my c-section wound, or imagine just how painful
carrying him was (during a heatwave) when he was small. If you're happy
feeling depressed about other babies based solely on their method of
transportation, bully for you. But don't call Child Services or the
NSPCC just yet, eh?

Jac

Dagny, and others expressing similar opinions, you don't see us
spending hours playing 'horses' on my knee, or his having his afternoon
and evening naps on my lap (for up to two hours at a time), or our
sharing a bath, or cosleeping for about five hours out of every night.
You can't make a single judgement about how much I *like* my child from
the fact that I have been completely unable to carry him for any
distance for several months now, since he's 27" and 20lb (and a
wriggler) and my back just won't cope with that. You can't see the mess
infection made of my c-section wound, or imagine just how painful
carrying him was (during a heatwave) when he was small. If you're happy
feeling depressed about other babies based solely on their method of
transportation, bully for you. But don't call Child Services or the
NSPCC just yet, eh?

I think you are jumping on Dagny too much, she was commenting about a
situation with people she knew and it made her sad, the outward signs
might be the outward signs of other parenting styles, but they mean very
different things. Some people do seem to have a I must not hold the baby
too much instinct, others have an I must meet the babies needs instinct,
this is what you are doing,

*break to go and pick up ds who as decided that he prefers playing with
the mouse to eating cheerios whilst sat in his highchair*


oh dear lost the thread of what I was saying...