Ex left the state

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
hlink.net...

"Tracy" wrote in message
...
"Gini" wrote in message
news:hcC5f.26082$p_.14351@trndny05...

"Just Me" wrote in message
...
(kellyGirl) said:
"Ask yourself what is more important, the money or a child's
relationship with it's father?
The threat of Jail forces people to do strange things!"

Obviously it's my sons relationship with his father that's more
important. If it was the child support, I would have done something
about that months ago.

And the threat of jail...who even mentioned jail? My ex isn't facing
any
jail time, just money out of his paycheck each week..that's all that
was
going to be changed. He already pays money each week for a child
that
he
had with someone else while we were separated. And it's not like
the
child support is huge, he doesn't have to pay that much.
====
"Obviously" your son's relationship with his father *isn't* more
important!
Who are you trying to fool? You sacrificed
your child's right to a father for money that isn't "huge." Sheesh!
And
you
can't figure out why dad took off?
Your son has a right to be upset!
====


Gini - I have to disagree with you on this one. They've been divorced
for
a
year after a year of separation. This woman has a good relationship
with
her ex's father. I have a strong belief he left the state due to the
stress
of the divorce and not having a family to lean on during that time of
need.
This is a man who has an ex who seems to be closer to his father than he
is.

That father-in-law/ex-wife relationship sounded weird. There is probably
a
long history behind that alliance. Plus the mother disclosed he had a
child with another woman since their divorce and was paying that woman
too.
Paying CS to two women after taxes can be an extreme financial burden.
The
concern expressed was strongly biased for the first child's welfare while
the second child's welfare has been ignored.

Wow! I missed the post where she brought up the other child. Now I'm
really thinking that an affair took place, his family disapproved of his
behavior, etc... etc... etc... leading up to the overall burden of guilty
feelings, ashamed, financially over burdened, plus a lot more. Which goes
back to where I was coming from. Where he is at emotionally in terms of his
divorce and his family is possibly similar to that of my husband's ex-wife.


I would think the order of events has driven him to flee. Just
speculating,
if the second mother already had a CS withholding order (she would have
been
smart to have one since she already knew about the CS obligation to the
first child), he could have been overwhelmed by getting a second
withholding
order for the first mother. If he was juggling his finances to take care
of
his CS obligations, he lost control of how to manage the situation when
the
second withholding order was served on his employer.

My point is - this stuff doesn't happen in a vacuum. Several other things
are probably going on that haven't been disclosed.

That I agree with... a lot more. More than we were told. Either way -
there is a very long road all parties are facing, and the right advice is
very important at this time. They need to move beyond their decisions of
divorce to help improve their situations, which includes child-support. The
father is in a much tougher position then the mother since he has two
different mothers then just one. What a mess...


Tracy
~~~~
http://www.hornschuch.net/tracy/