Questions about baby shower

my baby is due in november also. my friends threw me a baby shower in
july. it was fun. we ate and opened present. since my parents are
divorced and dont get along, i invited my dads sister and his mother. my
mom had told me that my moms side of the family is going to throw me one
after the baby is born. which is nice so then if there are things you
didnt get at the first one you can get them at the second one.also if
you dont know what you are having (i do but this is if you dont)it would
also be nice to have one afterwards so they can buy you stuff for the
right sex instead of greens and yellows. and just because the holidays
are coming up in november and december i dont think that would matter.
everyone loves a baby and will come together to celebrate.
the whole guy thing, i would think they wouldnt even want to come or
feel comfortable. i told my boyfriend he could have a day to himself.
thats just my opinio though.

http://community.webtv.net/lindo_84/LindysPictures

"Steve and/or Erin" wrote
Has anyone ever had their shower after the baby? My MIL is insistent that
we
do it after (Jewish superstitious tradition), but everone else is
encouraging me otherwise. It doesn't really matter so much to me, and I am
not eager to make war with MIL (and it would be ugly). Since I am due in
November, I am worried that no one is going to want to have to gather up
during the holidays for MORE gift giving.

My MIL is a very observant Jew and she didn't want me to have a shower, or
purchase anything for the baby, before E was born. However, since she wasn't
throwing the shower (of course not since it's not de rigour) and since there
wasn't anywhere we could store baby stuff I told her that we were breaking
with superstition (which is what it is) and setting up E's room before she
was born. The superstition is that you don't want to alert the Angel of
Death that a new baby is coming by setting up the room beforehand. So, we
had two showers before E was born. One was a traditional all women, games
(ugh!) and lunch shower and the other one (the more fun one) was DH and my
friends at a BBQ. After dinner we opened presents together and it was a lot
of fun.

Regarding the superstition, I also went to a funeral while I was visibly
pregnant (another no-no) and completely freaked out MIL. However, she's a
bit of a wack-job in the best of times and we mutually tolerate each other
for the sake of my daughter (and future child). She's a great grandmother
even if she was a lousy mother and really lousy MIL.
--
Melissa (in Los Angeles)
Mum to Elizabeth 4/13/03
and ??? due early 3/05


Other questions:
I have never been a fan of all female showers- any good Jack and Jill
stories out there? Were single guys invited? Did they feel wierd?

I heard about a shower where they didn't open any presents to avoid the
long
lull in the middle of the party. At first I thought this sounded cool
(neither DH or I are looking forward to being the center of attention for
that long). But maybe people like seeing their gift opened?

Thank in advance for any advice!
Erin

In ,
Beach mum wrote:

*purchase anything for the baby, before E was born. However, since she wasn't
*throwing the shower (of course not since it's not de rigour) and since there
*wasn't anywhere we could store baby stuff I told her that we were breaking
*with superstition (which is what it is) and setting up E's room before she

Just to make the point clear to others - even if you don't have storage
space, you don't have to set up before the baby is born. Being followers
of the Jewish traditional superstition, we simply ordered stuff and had
the stores hold it for us until we notified them of a safe delivery. Then
we sent MIL to pay and pick it up (most of it) or the store delivered it
right away, COD (furniture). This was not at all difficult to arrange at
two local boutiques and a ToysRUs/BabiesRUs store in our area.

h.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large

"Steve and/or Erin" wrote in message
...
Has anyone ever had their shower after the baby? My MIL is insistent that
we
do it after (Jewish superstitious tradition), but everone else is
encouraging me otherwise. It doesn't really matter so much to me, and I am
not eager to make war with MIL (and it would be ugly). Since I am due in
November, I am worried that no one is going to want to have to gather up
during the holidays for MORE gift giving.

I had an after-baby shower, and honestly, I don't like them much compared to
before-baby showers. After the baby is there, the shower focuses on cute
baby. Before baby is there, the shower focuses on pg mom.

One alternative... have a blessingway *for you* before the baby comes, and a
shower for baby after.

Jenrose

In article ,
"Jenrose" wrote:

"Steve and/or Erin" wrote in message
...
Has anyone ever had their shower after the baby? My MIL is insistent that
we
do it after (Jewish superstitious tradition), but everone else is
encouraging me otherwise. It doesn't really matter so much to me, and I am
not eager to make war with MIL (and it would be ugly). Since I am due in
November, I am worried that no one is going to want to have to gather up
during the holidays for MORE gift giving.

I had an after-baby shower, and honestly, I don't like them much compared to
before-baby showers. After the baby is there, the shower focuses on cute
baby. Before baby is there, the shower focuses on pg mom.

One alternative... have a blessingway *for you* before the baby comes, and a
shower for baby after.

Jenrose

And for those of us who don't like sex specific stuff, a shower before
hand forces people to buy neutral clothing.

(One of my husband's relatives, who was pregnant at the same time I was
loudly commented on how she didn't want anyone giving her pink clothes
for her daughter, and then gave us an entirely pink ensemble when our
daughter was born.)

Zannah.

"Steve and/or Erin" wrote in message
...
Has anyone ever had their shower after the baby? My MIL is insistent that
we
do it after (Jewish superstitious tradition), but everone else is
encouraging me otherwise. It doesn't really matter so much to me, and I am
not eager to make war with MIL (and it would be ugly). Since I am due in
November, I am worried that no one is going to want to have to gather up
during the holidays for MORE gift giving.

If she's giving a shower then I guess she gets to decide when it is. I can
tell you though, that most people will probably give you a baby gift after
the baby is born and might not be happy about ponying up for a shower gift
so soon afterwards also. Especially near the holidays. I think I'd skip the
shower.

Other questions:
I have never been a fan of all female showers- any good Jack and Jill
stories out there? Were single guys invited? Did they feel wierd?

Yes. I have been to one, and while I don't see what the big deal is, I have
to admit, there was a lot of grumbling from the men. Many of them just
didn't want to be there. They did have a beer keg there though, to appease
the men, lol. Of course, the keg still didn't make up for the fact that most
of the men had been hoping to get in a round of golf instead of attending a
baby shower.


I heard about a shower where they didn't open any presents to avoid the
long
lull in the middle of the party. At first I thought this sounded cool
(neither DH or I are looking forward to being the center of attention for
that long). But maybe people like seeing their gift opened?

Of course they do! I like watching the gifts being opened. I think it would
be very strange to go to a shower (where a gift is expected and is the
purpose of the shower) and not see the expecting mother open the gifts.

JennP.

Zannah wrote:
(One of my husband's relatives, who was pregnant at the same time I was
loudly commented on how she didn't want anyone giving her pink clothes
for her daughter, and then gave us an entirely pink ensemble when our
daughter was born.)

Maybe someone gave it to her, despite her request, and she passed it off
onto you. ;-)

Steve and/or Erin wrote:
Has anyone ever had their shower after the baby?

I did. It was great. It was with a bunch of relatives and people from my
old home town that I hardly ever see anymore but everyone really wanted to
do it. I was glad they did it after because it would seem like a really big
rip off for them to not get to see the baby. I don't think we actually
called it a shower though. We did open the gifts at the party but everyone
brought one.

It doesn't really matter so much to
me, and I am not eager to make war with MIL

Then I would definitely just cheerfully go along with anything that she has
planned.

Other questions:
I have never been a fan of all female showers- any good Jack and Jill
stories out there? Were single guys invited? Did they feel weird?

I think that definitely depends on the crowd. I do know one couple that
went to a Jack and Jill party and everyone had a great time. I believe it
with the type of couples that went. They did a lot of couple things
together so were all very familiar with each other and it was easy to plan
activities that appealed to everyone. My dh would rather eat ground glass.
He'd never agree to go unless I twisted his arm something fierce and then
he'd be miserable. We don't generally participate in a lot of couple
things. It isn't what our crowd does. Sadly we don't even have a crowd,
lol. I think for it to work all the couples have to no each other and the
guys will enjoy the party...not do something separate.

I heard about a shower where they didn't open any presents to avoid
the long lull in the middle of the party.

Aww - presents are big point of a shower. Everyone brings something so it
is fun to see all the cute stuff.

Have fun with whatever you decide to do. Personally, I'd just let MIL do
whatever she wants and not worry about it :-)
--
Nikki

FWIW, i like seeing my gift open, definitelyi.

c
"Steve and/or Erin" wrote in message
...
Has anyone ever had their shower after the baby? My MIL is insistent that
we
do it after (Jewish superstitious tradition), but everone else is
encouraging me otherwise. It doesn't really matter so much to me, and I am
not eager to make war with MIL (and it would be ugly). Since I am due in
November, I am worried that no one is going to want to have to gather up
during the holidays for MORE gift giving.

Other questions:
I have never been a fan of all female showers- any good Jack and Jill
stories out there? Were single guys invited? Did they feel wierd?

I heard about a shower where they didn't open any presents to avoid the
long
lull in the middle of the party. At first I thought this sounded cool
(neither DH or I are looking forward to being the center of attention for
that long). But maybe people like seeing their gift opened?

Thank in advance for any advice!
Erin

. Since I am due in
November, I am worried that no one is going to want to have to gather up
during the holidays for MORE gift giving.

Actually, one thing everyone seems to be forgetting is that, as the expectant
parents, you really have no say in the shower. You don't throw showers for
yourself;your friends/co-workers throw them for you. (Whehter they are
surprises or planned.) So, if a friend offers to give you a shower, you either
accept or decline graciously. (And you can't say "I would love one, but it will
have to wait until the baby is born.)

If you don't have one (and they are certainly not required), being Jewish, the
Bris/Baby naming will then be the ideal time for a party to welcome/meet the
baby. You can and do throw that one yourself, and people can bring gifts if
they choose to.


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

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reply.)