Awkward (and hard) question... STD testing...

I called my OB's office earlier today to reschedule an appointment I had for
Sept. 12 in the AM - my mom had booked DS in for the dentist that same
morning, and it's just easier to reschedule my appointment than the
dentist...
Luckily, I was able to get in at a better time in the morning the very next
day.
As I had requested, my doc's nurse called me back... I had asked to be
tested for any and all STDs, and the nurse said I had been tested for the
common stuff at the beginning of this pregnancy, as it's standard procedure.
Nothing had changed from being pg with DD and this one... up until now, or
so I hear.
I had a feeling the last little while, but now I've heard (from a friend)
who just said that he's not going to step in, but he told me to get tested
just to be sure. The nurse listed off what they normally test for... I
can't recall off hand, but she said they test for the most common STDs, and
I'm wondering if it would be in my best interest to go to an actual clinic
that specializes in this, or is my OB's office good enough?

xkatx wrote:
I called my OB's office earlier today to reschedule an appointment I
had for Sept. 12 in the AM - my mom had booked DS in for the dentist
that same morning, and it's just easier to reschedule my appointment
than the dentist...
Luckily, I was able to get in at a better time in the morning the
very next day.
As I had requested, my doc's nurse called me back... I had asked to be
tested for any and all STDs, and the nurse said I had been tested for
the common stuff at the beginning of this pregnancy, as it's standard
procedure. Nothing had changed from being pg with DD and this one...
up until now, or so I hear.
I had a feeling the last little while, but now I've heard (from a
friend) who just said that he's not going to step in, but he told me
to get tested just to be sure. The nurse listed off what they
normally test for... I can't recall off hand, but she said they test
for the most common STDs, and I'm wondering if it would be in my best
interest to go to an actual clinic that specializes in this, or is my
OB's office good enough?

I'm not really sure exactly what the question or issue is. Let me see if I
am clear...you were tested a month or more ago for STD's as a routine
pregnancy thing, but you've been given the heads up from a friend that your
dh is sleeping around, so you are thinking you should get tested again? Is
there something specific that you've been told to test for? For example,
has your dh suddenly come down with herpes or something? If it's just
general "he's been sleeping around and you should get tested" stuff, you
might want to wait a little while to make sure that everything that could be
infectios has time to incubate. As of a few months ago you were clean. I'm
assuming they test for Chlamidia, HIV, Herpes, etc. Maybe wait a month and
then ask to be retested.

Also, if it isn't obvious, do not sleep with him again. If you do sleep
with him, make sure you use protection, but it's probably easier to just say
no all together and cut the risk the most.

I'd also speak to your OB and explain the sticky situation and see what they
recommend. I'm sure they have the same standard panel that a clinic would
have, and probably easier to make it unobtrusive and less public, since
you're pregnant and going for regular visits anyway.

Hugs. I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03
Addison Grace, 9/30/04

Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up
your own User ID and Password

"Jamie Clark" wrote in message
. ..
xkatx wrote:
I called my OB's office earlier today to reschedule an appointment I
had for Sept. 12 in the AM - my mom had booked DS in for the dentist
that same morning, and it's just easier to reschedule my appointment
than the dentist...
Luckily, I was able to get in at a better time in the morning the
very next day.
As I had requested, my doc's nurse called me back... I had asked to be
tested for any and all STDs, and the nurse said I had been tested for
the common stuff at the beginning of this pregnancy, as it's standard
procedure. Nothing had changed from being pg with DD and this one...
up until now, or so I hear.
I had a feeling the last little while, but now I've heard (from a
friend) who just said that he's not going to step in, but he told me
to get tested just to be sure. The nurse listed off what they
normally test for... I can't recall off hand, but she said they test
for the most common STDs, and I'm wondering if it would be in my best
interest to go to an actual clinic that specializes in this, or is my
OB's office good enough?

I'm not really sure exactly what the question or issue is. Let me see if
I am clear...you were tested a month or more ago for STD's as a routine
pregnancy thing, but you've been given the heads up from a friend that
your dh is sleeping around, so you are thinking you should get tested
again? Is there something specific that you've been told to test for?
For example, has your dh suddenly come down with herpes or something? If
it's just general "he's been sleeping around and you should get tested"
stuff, you might want to wait a little while to make sure that everything
that could be infectios has time to incubate. As of a few months ago you
were clean. I'm assuming they test for Chlamidia, HIV, Herpes, etc.
Maybe wait a month and then ask to be retested.

I would have been tested at the beginning of this pregnancy, which would
have been months ago. I think my first appointment was around March or so.
As I knew all along, everything came back fine at that point.
This friend had said that he's heard a lot of garbage going around where DH
is currently 'living' at his mother's house. Back in June or July (can't
remember, exactly) he had a very suspicious email from some random girl to
him saying a bunch of stuff - I did question him on it, and of course, as
usual, he said he had no idea who this person was, nor did he know what was
going on. I really haven't believed a word that's come out of his mouth in
many, MANY months.
Now this friend heard (not sure where) some stuff, and he said that
seriously, I should get tested just to be sure. Since things have clearly
been crap - he'd come home with more lies about this and that (oh, I love
you, let's make this work) and it was a couple days and he'd take off again,
and each and every time, though, I felt like he was coming home for a piece
of a$$ - and each time I had told him no, it doesn't work like that.

Also, if it isn't obvious, do not sleep with him again. If you do sleep
with him, make sure you use protection, but it's probably easier to just
say no all together and cut the risk the most.

No, there won't be anything like that going on again. If and when he can
admit he has a drug problem, a problem with anger management, lacks
parenting/life/human skills and get help with that, whatever (I don't
believe that time will ever come anyways) and when he has a damn good excuse
and explanation for his behavior, actions and all that... Yup, won't happen,
and I don't care to hear it anymore.

I'd also speak to your OB and explain the sticky situation and see what
they recommend. I'm sure they have the same standard panel that a clinic
would have, and probably easier to make it unobtrusive and less public,
since you're pregnant and going for regular visits anyway.

Well, that's why I figured the OB was the best bet, as I'm there often
anyways. The nurse marked it down on my chart thing so it won't be
forgotten for my next appointment next week.

Hugs. I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this.

Not sure how and why I got myself mixed up with this garbage. I am starting
to really believe it's better this way, though, just not sure how to deal
with quite a few things right now.

--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03
Addison Grace, 9/30/04

Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up
your own User ID and Password

xkatx wrote:
"Jamie Clark" wrote in message
. ..
xkatx wrote:
I called my OB's office earlier today to reschedule an appointment I
had for Sept. 12 in the AM - my mom had booked DS in for the dentist
that same morning, and it's just easier to reschedule my appointment
than the dentist...
Luckily, I was able to get in at a better time in the morning the
very next day.
As I had requested, my doc's nurse called me back... I had asked to
be tested for any and all STDs, and the nurse said I had been
tested for the common stuff at the beginning of this pregnancy, as
it's standard procedure. Nothing had changed from being pg with DD
and this one... up until now, or so I hear.
I had a feeling the last little while, but now I've heard (from a
friend) who just said that he's not going to step in, but he told me
to get tested just to be sure. The nurse listed off what they
normally test for... I can't recall off hand, but she said they test
for the most common STDs, and I'm wondering if it would be in my
best interest to go to an actual clinic that specializes in this,
or is my OB's office good enough?

I'm not really sure exactly what the question or issue is. Let me
see if I am clear...you were tested a month or more ago for STD's as
a routine pregnancy thing, but you've been given the heads up from a
friend that your dh is sleeping around, so you are thinking you
should get tested again? Is there something specific that you've
been told to test for? For example, has your dh suddenly come down
with herpes or something? If it's just general "he's been sleeping
around and you should get tested" stuff, you might want to wait a
little while to make sure that everything that could be infectios
has time to incubate. As of a few months ago you were clean. I'm
assuming they test for Chlamidia, HIV, Herpes, etc. Maybe wait a
month and then ask to be retested.

I would have been tested at the beginning of this pregnancy, which
would have been months ago. I think my first appointment was around
March or so. As I knew all along, everything came back fine at that
point.
This friend had said that he's heard a lot of garbage going around
where DH is currently 'living' at his mother's house. Back in June
or July (can't remember, exactly) he had a very suspicious email from
some random girl to him saying a bunch of stuff - I did question him
on it, and of course, as usual, he said he had no idea who this
person was, nor did he know what was going on. I really haven't
believed a word that's come out of his mouth in many, MANY months.
Now this friend heard (not sure where) some stuff, and he said that
seriously, I should get tested just to be sure. Since things have
clearly been crap - he'd come home with more lies about this and that
(oh, I love you, let's make this work) and it was a couple days and
he'd take off again, and each and every time, though, I felt like he
was coming home for a piece of a$$ - and each time I had told him no,
it doesn't work like that.

So exactly when is the last time you slept with him, without protection? If
it was when you conceived, then you shouldn't need to be tested again, since
there is little/no contact for std's when you haven't had sex. Now if it
was after that, it definately would be worth getting tested again. If it
has already been a few months since the last time you had sex with him, then
getting retested now should be fine.

--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03
Addison Grace, 9/30/04

Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up
your own User ID and Password

"Jamie Clark" wrote in message
. ..
xkatx wrote:
"Jamie Clark" wrote in message
. ..
xkatx wrote:
I called my OB's office earlier today to reschedule an appointment I
had for Sept. 12 in the AM - my mom had booked DS in for the dentist
that same morning, and it's just easier to reschedule my appointment
than the dentist...
Luckily, I was able to get in at a better time in the morning the
very next day.
As I had requested, my doc's nurse called me back... I had asked to
be tested for any and all STDs, and the nurse said I had been
tested for the common stuff at the beginning of this pregnancy, as
it's standard procedure. Nothing had changed from being pg with DD
and this one... up until now, or so I hear.
I had a feeling the last little while, but now I've heard (from a
friend) who just said that he's not going to step in, but he told me
to get tested just to be sure. The nurse listed off what they
normally test for... I can't recall off hand, but she said they test
for the most common STDs, and I'm wondering if it would be in my
best interest to go to an actual clinic that specializes in this,
or is my OB's office good enough?

I'm not really sure exactly what the question or issue is. Let me
see if I am clear...you were tested a month or more ago for STD's as
a routine pregnancy thing, but you've been given the heads up from a
friend that your dh is sleeping around, so you are thinking you
should get tested again? Is there something specific that you've
been told to test for? For example, has your dh suddenly come down
with herpes or something? If it's just general "he's been sleeping
around and you should get tested" stuff, you might want to wait a
little while to make sure that everything that could be infectios
has time to incubate. As of a few months ago you were clean. I'm
assuming they test for Chlamidia, HIV, Herpes, etc. Maybe wait a
month and then ask to be retested.

I would have been tested at the beginning of this pregnancy, which
would have been months ago. I think my first appointment was around
March or so. As I knew all along, everything came back fine at that
point.
This friend had said that he's heard a lot of garbage going around
where DH is currently 'living' at his mother's house. Back in June
or July (can't remember, exactly) he had a very suspicious email from
some random girl to him saying a bunch of stuff - I did question him
on it, and of course, as usual, he said he had no idea who this
person was, nor did he know what was going on. I really haven't
believed a word that's come out of his mouth in many, MANY months.
Now this friend heard (not sure where) some stuff, and he said that
seriously, I should get tested just to be sure. Since things have
clearly been crap - he'd come home with more lies about this and that
(oh, I love you, let's make this work) and it was a couple days and
he'd take off again, and each and every time, though, I felt like he
was coming home for a piece of a$$ - and each time I had told him no,
it doesn't work like that.

So exactly when is the last time you slept with him, without protection?
If it was when you conceived, then you shouldn't need to be tested again,
since there is little/no contact for std's when you haven't had sex. Now
if it was after that, it definately would be worth getting tested again.
If it has already been a few months since the last time you had sex with
him, then getting retested now should be fine.

I'd say about a month or so was the last time? Not 100% sure, but it's
always been unprotected. And it's because I don't know exactly when this
was an issue, I'll assume right from the start of all this - maybe 2ish
months ago?
But it has been a month or so, and the doc will retest, I was told.

--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03
Addison Grace, 9/30/04

Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up
your own User ID and Password

xkatx wrote:
I'm wondering if it would be in my best interest to go to an actual clinic
that specializes in this, or is my OB's office good enough?

As far as the lab work is concerned, it should make no difference where
the sample is collected. But your question OB or STD clinic is a good
one. Your OB may not be the most up to date on STDs. To play it safe,
call your local public health clinic or state STDs information center
and ask them what nasties are going around in your area (state?).
Besides chlamydia, HIV and herpes, there may be hepatitis (actually
several different viruses, each of which require a separate test),
gonorrhea, syphilis, trich, and some more exotic stuff. And you may
want to get a fresh pap smear and have it checked for human papiloma
virus and group B strep. Be sure to explain that you know your DH is a
drug user and now you believe also promiscuous, and he does not use
condoms. Drug use is associated with a high risk of STDs, often with a
different risk profile (ie, different nasties) than promiscuity and
unsafe sex do by themselves.