I don't like my kid's friends!

On 29 Sep 2004 19:38:47 GMT, oaway (Joelle) wrote:

Are there issues besides sex that you'd keep a kid's confidence about?

From their parents? That involved their health and safety? "Please pastor,
don't tell my Mom I copied my sermon report"...I 'd probably not tell. Unless
they made a habit of it..

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to be responding
indistinguishably based on your roles as pastor and as kids' friends'
parent. Do you see a difference in your situation there, WRT these
matters?

That's making quite an assumption about the parent's response.

Well, see that's what kind of ****ing me off. There seems to be an assumption
that parents are the worst people to tell about what's going on in their kids
life. I don't believe that assumption .

Hmmm. I'm *sure* I've mentioned more than once that my first response
is to encourage kids to talk to their parents and to offer to support
any way they want, including going with them or telling 'for' them.
I'm not sure you're hearing what I'm trying to say.

And I don't like the idea that other
people assume they know better than me what's good for my kids.

Ah, hell, ever since someone offered you toilet training or breast
feeding advice, someone's been assuming they know better'n'you do
about your kids. That's a big 'whatever' in my mind.

*I* certainly make no such assumption. I do, however, suspect that
occasionally a youth approaching adulthood knows what's better for
him/her*self* more than anyone else.....

Cele

On 29 Sep 2004 17:25:11 GMT, oaway (Joelle) wrote:

That's all I'm asking for. "Hey, Tiffany, your kid was at my house asking
about birth control, you might want to check that out" "Oh thanks Joelle, and
I'll try to bring it up in a way so it doesn't look like you came tattling" is
a conversation that can do a kid a lot more good than an address for a clinic.
IMO.

If a kid was at my house asking about birth control and I knew the
parent I might very well handle it that way. Depends on a few things,
but that's a not implausible scenario.

That's not what I've been talking about. I've been talking about a
nearly eighteen year old who ***needed the morning after pill*** and
so was *clearly already sexually active* and *clearly* in need of
birth control and *clearly* not going to approach her parents.

Cele

On Wed, 29 Sep 2004 21:00:14 GMT, lm
wrote:

On 29 Sep 2004 19:38:47 GMT, oaway (Joelle) wrote:

Are there issues besides sex that you'd keep a kid's confidence about?

From their parents? That involved their health and safety? "Please pastor,
don't tell my Mom I copied my sermon report"...I 'd probably not tell. Unless
they made a habit of it..

So you make subjective decisions about what to tell parents about. The
crux of this is not privacy, it's that you see sex as a health and
safety issue and cele sees it as a social issue -- or maybe even a
"public health" issue rather than a moral issue.

Oh, well said.

Cele

On 29 Sep 2004 19:42:22 GMT, oaway (Joelle) wrote:

I just don't think telling a kid where to get free birth control is
preventing
anything stupid.

Huh? I don't see the logic in that sentence.

I don't believe telling kids where to get birth control prevents them from
doing stupid things. How is that illogical?


Nah I'm with Cele on this one

Oh I'm well aware I'm in the minority on this subject - not just here but in
life. II happen to believe that is part of the problem.

I don't see
an end in sight to this disagreement so let's all agree to disagree shall
we?

Well ya know, I usually do let Cele have the last word but I just might not
this time.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

Gee, Joelle, I had no idea you were being so magnanimous. Thanks,
though. I can feel my ego enlarging as I type. :-))

Cele

ow is that illogical?

I think pointing them in the right direction, in this case for birthcontrol,
is preventative.

I understand that. I don't agree. Disagreeing doesn't make me illogical. It
just means I disagree.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

On 30 Sep 2004 12:51:13 GMT, oaway (Joelle) wrote:

See, that is where I think you fail your ministry. N

Wow. YOu know nothing about my ministry and my congregation and you call me a
failure because you disagree with me.

I think that's a cheap shot. I knew I should have left my job out of this.
When political correctness comes to this. I'm out of this argument.

Bye bye. Guess Cele gets the last word again.

You're angry about something someone else said, so you take a shot at
me? What's that about? I thought you and I were having a polite
discussion, and doing really very well at disagreeing with some
intelligence.

See, Joelle, I try to respond to your arguments because it seems
polite to do so, and because I enjoy the interaction and stimulatin.
Obviously if you stop interacting I've nothing to respond to and that
ends it. But if you don't *want* to discuss it with me, you could just
say you don't want to discuss it with me, and that'd be fine. I'm not
viewing this as a competition in which I need to get the last word.

So I don't know where this 'last word' stuff is coming from. I'm
disagreeing with you, not trying to beat you to death. Sorry if it's
come off otherwise.

Cele

See, that is where I think you fail your ministry. N

Wow. YOu know nothing about my ministry and my congregation and you call me
a
failure because you disagree with me.


No, I didn't call you a failure, I said you fail your ministry.... Different
animal.... that makes you human.

I don't see that as a cheap shot because it's very relevent to your
congregation. I was actually hoping to make you think that perhaps your harsh
and unforgiving stand toward the youth in your congregation might be less than
in the congregations best interests.

It's hard to teach of a loving and forgiving God if his representatives are
harsh and unforgiving.

Granted, I'm an unreligious person who is quite spiritual and have rejected the
"God of Wrath" and fire and brimstone. Sorry..... I should have been more
considerate of others who don't have this view.

Just my 2 cents.........
Christine

"Joelle" wrote in message

Do you let your their parents know you are doing that for them? Cuz I
kindof
think that's my department and I'd be pretty ****ed off if someone was
doing
that for my daughter without my knowledge.

Really? I would be pleased that someone showed some interest in my childrens
needs.

Dennis

"Cele" wrote in message

It's not about confiding in you. It's about supporting the kid in
talking to you herself, as opposed to breaching her trust and making
it almost certain they won't talk again, so that you'll be unable to
ever help in the future.

Probably the most pertinant point in this entire thread.

Dennis

"lm" wrote in message

I mean, I like them, but...

Fascinating thread Laura.
I don't like my Ex much these days but my son loves her!

Dennis