Proud To Be Single Parent !!!!!!

There is a lot of negativity flying around about single parents and i
don't really understand it. I am single and PROUD of the fact that take
care of my children alone. I didn't choose to do it alone and i don't
see it any differently then if the other parent had died. I live in a
small old fashioned community that has a lot of conservative elderly
people. These people who were raised strict catholics don't look down on
me for being alone or having children without being married. In fact,
they are proud of me as well. They see that i am stronger then most and
do the work of two. They see the love, care, attention, and affection
that i give double. They see my struggles and pains and my refusal to
give up. It doesn't matter what a troll or flamer has to say. They are
unaware of what we go through. They also don't know the posative that
comes from it. My daughter is only 6 and already she had told me that
she prefers to have one great parent then two lousy ones. Hold your head
up high and be proud.

"Carrie" wrote in message
...
There is a lot of negativity flying around about single parents and i
don't really understand it. I am single and PROUD of the fact that take
care of my children alone. I didn't choose to do it alone and i don't
see it any differently then if the other parent had died. I live in a
small old fashioned community that has a lot of conservative elderly
people. These people who were raised strict catholics don't look down on
me for being alone or having children without being married. In fact,
they are proud of me as well. They see that i am stronger then most and
do the work of two. They see the love, care, attention, and affection
that i give double. They see my struggles and pains and my refusal to
give up. It doesn't matter what a troll or flamer has to say. They are
unaware of what we go through. They also don't know the posative that
comes from it. My daughter is only 6 and already she had told me that
she prefers to have one great parent then two lousy ones. Hold your head
up high and be proud.


I wouldn't say I'm proud for having children out of wedlock, I would have
much rather had a lovely, responsible husband and done the whole traditional
bit... but since I didn't, and I can't change the past, I am proud of the
fact I'm doing the best job I can.

Christine

"CME" wrote in message
news:qMPUc.37629$fz2.35522@edtnps89...

"Carrie" wrote in message
...
There is a lot of negativity flying around about single parents and i
don't really understand it. I am single and PROUD of the fact that take
care of my children alone. I didn't choose to do it alone and i don't
see it any differently then if the other parent had died. I live in a
small old fashioned community that has a lot of conservative elderly
people. These people who were raised strict catholics don't look down on
me for being alone or having children without being married. In fact,
they are proud of me as well. They see that i am stronger then most and
do the work of two. They see the love, care, attention, and affection
that i give double. They see my struggles and pains and my refusal to
give up. It doesn't matter what a troll or flamer has to say. They are
unaware of what we go through. They also don't know the posative that
comes from it. My daughter is only 6 and already she had told me that
she prefers to have one great parent then two lousy ones. Hold your head
up high and be proud.


I wouldn't say I'm proud for having children out of wedlock, I would have
much rather had a lovely, responsible husband and done the whole
traditional
bit... but since I didn't, and I can't change the past, I am proud of the
fact I'm doing the best job I can.

Being a single mother is not ideal but I'll tell you something - I
rather be a single mother than to not have given birth to my son. He makes
it all worth it, even when he's throwing a temper tantrum and I'm dead
tired. If I could do it all over again, I'd do it the same way. I'm glad I
didn't get married because I'm sure it's a hassle getting divorced.

"Carrie" wrote in message
...
There is a lot of negativity flying around about single parents and i
don't really understand it. I am single and PROUD of the fact that take
care of my children alone. I didn't choose to do it alone and i don't
see it any differently then if the other parent had died. I live in a
small old fashioned community that has a lot of conservative elderly
people. These people who were raised strict catholics don't look down on
me for being alone or having children without being married. In fact,
they are proud of me as well. They see that i am stronger then most and
do the work of two. They see the love, care, attention, and affection
that i give double. They see my struggles and pains and my refusal to
give up. It doesn't matter what a troll or flamer has to say. They are
unaware of what we go through. They also don't know the posative that
comes from it. My daughter is only 6 and already she had told me that
she prefers to have one great parent then two lousy ones. Hold your head
up high and be proud.


I'm proud of the job I'm doing as a single parent, but I wouldn't have
chosen single parenting. I made bad decisions when I was younger, and now
my son has to live with choices I made. I was with a man who was unable to
think of anyone but himself, and was abusive when things didn't go his way.
Am I glad I got out? YES! Am I glad I raise my son alone? Given the
choice I had at the time, yes I am. Would I do things differently if I
could. DEFINITELY! There are so many times I wish I weren't a single
parent. It's not an easy job, but for me it was better to be single than
dead. As my son gets older, he discovers more about himself, and I'm
certain he thinks about his father. He's asked questions, and I've answered
them the best way I know how. I still feel it's a little early for him to
make contact again, but my son knows if he wants to contact his dad, all he
has to do is ask. I know how to find his father, and if my son wants to
send him a letter, I'm all for that. My feelings aren't my son's feelings.
I have to look at what is best for my child, whether or not I like it. My
son's dad chose to terminate parental rights, and contact. However, when he
did so, he stated he would "have no contact with J**** until such time as he
(the child) chose to do so." That leaves it up to my son, and when he feels
the need, I will get him the information. So far my son has digested the
information, or is still processing it. The teen years are a rough time. I
would hate to see my son gain his father's outlook on treating women,
however as far as I know that may have changed. My son has a good
foundation and solid family ties from my side of the family. He's seen my
father and my brother in their relationships with women. He knows his
grandpa and grandma have been married a long time, and how much they love
one another. My son does not remember his father and I being together. He
was only a year old when we separated. I had support from my parents, and
friends. So have I raised my son totally alone? No I have not. I would
have done so if I needed to, but I'm so glad I didn't. He's turned into a
wonderful young man, and I'm proud to be his mom. I get compliments from
others about how courteous, caring and helpful he is. So even though I
didn't choose single parenting, I think I'm doing a pretty good job. I used
to say to myself, "the next time I have a kid, I'm going to do it right."
Well, it's been 12 years, and there's not another child, so I guess I'm
doing that right. Just my rambling thoughts, I probably made very little
sense. I also gave a load of information, some of you have heard it before.

Sorry for the ramble.
Betsy

Let me clear some things up...
I never said I chose to be a single mother. Both children were
conceived during long relationships. The father of my first took off
right before she was born. The father of the one inside me made some
rather horrible choices and chose a life of drugs and danger that i
could not be a part of. I was 4 weeks pregnant when i left and had no
idea because i was on the birth control. It is a shame that things
sometimes happen the way they do. But, there is nothing that can be done
to change any of it. I take what i have and make the best i can out of
it.
In my opionion two lousy parents is not better then one great one.
This child i am carrying now is guaranteed better off then if i stayed
with its father. The home became unstable and violent. The stresses of
being there would certainly be worse then the stress of being alone on
bedrest.
As for my daughter, while i am on bedrest she is with my parents
and some of the time with my sister. That is what is best for her at the
moment considering I cant even get out of bed to make her meals or take
her to the park.
I do the best i can and it is sometimes better then what two
parents can do. I work twice as hard and benefit from twice the reward.
I am not trying to say that my children are better off then they would
be in a home with a stable father but i am saying that they are better
off without the violence, drugs and crime.

"Carrie" wrote in message

My daughter is only 6 and already she had told me that
she prefers to have one great parent then two lousy ones.

You made that up.
A six year old could not possibly have the understanding and rationale to
come to that kind of a conclusion.
I suspect that you are priming your child to suit your own personal
circumstances.

Dennis

I did not make anything up. My daughter is extremely intelligent and
quite independent for her age. She may only be starting the first grade
but she is already reading my parenting and baby magazines better then
my 12 year old brother. The only influencing she has had is the exposure
to as much as she can grasp educationally. I have to admit that at times
her speech and writing can be terrible but she makes up for it by
excelling in her vocabulary and comprehension. Some children are simply
more advanced in certain areas then others and that is a fact of life.

"Carrie" wrote in message
...
I did not make anything up. My daughter is extremely intelligent and
quite independent for her age. She may only be starting the first grade
but she is already reading my parenting and baby magazines better then
my 12 year old brother. The only influencing she has had is the exposure
to as much as she can grasp educationally. I have to admit that at times
her speech and writing can be terrible but she makes up for it by
excelling in her vocabulary and comprehension. Some children are simply
more advanced in certain areas then others and that is a fact of life.

You are FOS..............if you you don't think that she isn't telling you
want she thinks you want to hear.......from what she has picked up from
YOU.......than you have your head up your ass to far for it to matter.

"Carrie" wrote in message

I did not make anything up. My daughter is extremely intelligent and
quite independent for her age. She may only be starting the first grade
but she is already reading my parenting and baby magazines better then
my 12 year old brother. The only influencing she has had is the exposure
to as much as she can grasp educationally.

So from where did she get the exposure to two lousey parents so that she
could draw a conclusion? If it wasn't from you, it must be from someone in
your family as you have stated that they help with her upbringing.

I have to admit that at times
her speech and writing can be terrible but she makes up for it by
excelling in her vocabulary and comprehension. Some children are simply
more advanced in certain areas then others and that is a fact of life.

True, but you are only saying that as a kind of global cop out.
You made up your original statement. If you didn't then you must be the
lousey parent your daughter used to make the judgment.

Dennis

"denanson" Dennis@Large .ie wrote in message
...

"Carrie" wrote in message

I did not make anything up. My daughter is extremely intelligent and
quite independent for her age. She may only be starting the first grade
but she is already reading my parenting and baby magazines better then
my 12 year old brother. The only influencing she has had is the exposure
to as much as she can grasp educationally.

So from where did she get the exposure to two lousey parents so that she
could draw a conclusion? If it wasn't from you, it must be from someone in
your family as you have stated that they help with her upbringing.

Gosh - you guys are all so nice. Good for you supporting Carrie like
that.


I have to admit that at times
her speech and writing can be terrible but she makes up for it by
excelling in her vocabulary and comprehension. Some children are simply
more advanced in certain areas then others and that is a fact of life.

True, but you are only saying that as a kind of global cop out.
You made up your original statement. If you didn't then you must be the
lousey parent your daughter used to make the judgment.

Tell me - do you kill your prey before you eat it?