Is this proper?

"Beverly" wrote in message
...
As I said in a previous post, my children attend a public school where
all elective except physical education have a fee attached. For the
very poor, a student can spend half the day in PE. Not that I don't
consider PE an important thing for children... but they don't TEACH
anything in these PE classes. My sons have each been "stuck" in a PE
class when the classes they wanted were full (seniors get priority and
8th graders get the classes IF there is still room). My sons played a
lot of cards in PE and I fail to see how that is physical. My sons
have chosen to be in the band as an elective music class. A component
of this is mandatory extra-curricular. Fees are high because bands
are only second to football here in the south and they go all out.
No, I don't agree with the extravagance that costs so much, but it is
simply the way it is.


Some school districts in Oregon charge a "towel" fee of about $6 for PE.
I've experienced three different school districts in this state, and each
one is different. Our current school district does not charge the towel fee
for middle school or high school, but in Salem they did. I remember paying
out as much as $35/yr just to enroll my oldest son into high school. The
$35 did not include pictures or a year book. For middle school I just paid
$30 for two students in middle school for general administrative fees.

How much are your band fees? Currently for middle school we are paying
$25/trimester for jazz band. I believe the marching band fee is close to
$200/yr in high school. It cost me $150 in fees for my son to play junior
baseball, and an additional $187 in tournament costs. The $187 did not
include costs associated with gear, hotels, food, and gas just to attend the
tournaments. Sure these are electives, but my son's father was firm on
where he stood concerning baseball and other sports. It was a much and he
was willing to pay for all costs. I don't allow him to pay for the costs
since he pays child support. It is probably why he has agree to help my son
pay for a trip to Washington DC this coming summer. I told my son we won't
be paying for it due to the costs we are facing this coming year (braces,
new intermediate trumpet, baseball, marching band, and possibly football).
My son was willing to do what he could to pay for the trip himself, which
included giving up gifts in lieu of money. So far he has raised 1/3rd of
the money himself and his father told him he'd pay for the rest.

So I guess it really depends on priorities. My son's father and I agree on
our priorities concerning our son. His education is top priority with
sports & band coming in second. It is up to our son to decide which sports
and exactly what he wants to do in band, but we put limits on how much we
are willing to support (financial as well as our time).

On last thing for others to consider, because I'm sure Bev's children are no
different... it is not like his father and I are dealing with a kid who is
barely making it through school. Our son is an honor student taking advance
placement classes. His math class is the same class his 11th grade
step-brother is taking, and he is in 8th grade. Our son has the opportunity
of completing his first year's worth of calculus, science, and writing for
college before he finishes high school. Along with those accomplishments
are scholarships to help him pay for his college education. He is fully
aware that his father and I will not be paying out the big bucks to send him
to college. We'll help, but the real cost will be covered by him.

So again, it really depends on priorities.


Thanks,
Tracy
~~~~
http://www.hornschuch.net/tracy/

On Fri, 11 Nov 2005 07:51:45 -0800, "Tracy"
wrote:

"Beverly" wrote in message
.. .
As I said in a previous post, my children attend a public school where
all elective except physical education have a fee attached. For the
very poor, a student can spend half the day in PE. Not that I don't
consider PE an important thing for children... but they don't TEACH
anything in these PE classes. My sons have each been "stuck" in a PE
class when the classes they wanted were full (seniors get priority and
8th graders get the classes IF there is still room). My sons played a
lot of cards in PE and I fail to see how that is physical. My sons
have chosen to be in the band as an elective music class. A component
of this is mandatory extra-curricular. Fees are high because bands
are only second to football here in the south and they go all out.
No, I don't agree with the extravagance that costs so much, but it is
simply the way it is.


Some school districts in Oregon charge a "towel" fee of about $6 for PE.
I've experienced three different school districts in this state, and each
one is different. Our current school district does not charge the towel fee
for middle school or high school, but in Salem they did. I remember paying
out as much as $35/yr just to enroll my oldest son into high school. The
$35 did not include pictures or a year book. For middle school I just paid
$30 for two students in middle school for general administrative fees.

How much are your band fees?

The band fees we pay are $50 per semester, but there are additional
expenses which are required to include uniform cleaning fees of $32.50
(just for fall semester as that is when the uniforms are used), two
shirts (one polo and one T) for the "secondary uniform" which were $20
combined (and the design changes every year), and special shoes which
cost $30. My drummer is also required to pay a rental fee of
$35/semester for his drums because all the drums must match AND
drummers are required to play a different type of drum each year.
Drummers are also required to buy whatever special sticks that go with
the drums and these cost $20 or more. I just sent my trombone player
in with $12 for a new flip folder (his old one broke after several
years of use) and this is not to mention slide oil, etc... that they
REQUIRE we buy through the school. When all is said and done, I'll
have sent the school around $450 for two students to be in the band
during the year.

Although there are alternatives (i.e. making the kids wait until 11pm
for dinner), I give the boys money for dinner on football fridays.
They cannot come home beforehand and may not have any food in their
locker past lunchtime. Stadium food is way overpriced and I give them
$10 each for dinner during football season. This amounts to $200;
however, I save on the meals at home on those nights.

I don't even remember how much honor's band costs, but my trombonist
always makes it. I do know it was a $100 fee when he made the youth
symphony.

Currently for middle school we are paying
$25/trimester for jazz band. I believe the marching band fee is close to
$200/yr in high school. It cost me $150 in fees for my son to play junior
baseball, and an additional $187 in tournament costs. The $187 did not
include costs associated with gear, hotels, food, and gas just to attend the
tournaments. Sure these are electives, but my son's father was firm on
where he stood concerning baseball and other sports. It was a much and he
was willing to pay for all costs. I don't allow him to pay for the costs
since he pays child support. It is probably why he has agree to help my son
pay for a trip to Washington DC this coming summer. I told my son we won't
be paying for it due to the costs we are facing this coming year (braces,
new intermediate trumpet, baseball, marching band, and possibly football).
My son was willing to do what he could to pay for the trip himself, which
included giving up gifts in lieu of money. So far he has raised 1/3rd of
the money himself and his father told him he'd pay for the rest.

So I guess it really depends on priorities. My son's father and I agree on
our priorities concerning our son. His education is top priority with
sports & band coming in second. It is up to our son to decide which sports
and exactly what he wants to do in band, but we put limits on how much we
are willing to support (financial as well as our time).

My ex and I used to have similar ideas regarding child rearing, but he
is unwilling to co-parent because he prefers not to speak with me at
all. In fact, some things we agreed upon once upon a time have been
used "against me" in an effort to turn the children against me. For
example, when we were married, we agreed that the children would never
have toy guns because we never wanted them to be comfortable with
weaponry, even if they were toys. For many years after our split,
he'd send the children some type of toy gun for gifts. I assume he
believed that I did not allow them to have them, but I did, against my
wishes, because they were from Dad. I assume this because he once
told one of my sons he would not buy a particular gift because "Mom
would take it away." I've never taken away a gift their father has
given them.

But I digress. *I* find education to be a number one priority, but
also feel that education is more than the three R's. My school system
is so backward that they use money to build a third gymnasium before
they have enough books for every student. I've had to buy novels for
my sons because they had to share and never seemed to get their "turn"
at the book. Fortunately, the same reading list has been used for all
my sons (I have a 21 year-old as well). And yes, I spoke with the
teachers and was told it was best to buy if I could afford it.


On last thing for others to consider, because I'm sure Bev's children are no
different... it is not like his father and I are dealing with a kid who is
barely making it through school. Our son is an honor student taking advance
placement classes. His math class is the same class his 11th grade
step-brother is taking, and he is in 8th grade. Our son has the opportunity
of completing his first year's worth of calculus, science, and writing for
college before he finishes high school. Along with those accomplishments
are scholarships to help him pay for his college education. He is fully
aware that his father and I will not be paying out the big bucks to send him
to college. We'll help, but the real cost will be covered by him.

So again, it really depends on priorities.

My 15 year-old participated in the gifted program for years (since 4th
grade, I think), but has recently decided that he'd rather just
concentrate on his regular classes... most of which are advanced
placement. Being in the gifted program required that he make up what
was missed in class on the day he attended the program. Both of my
teenagers plan to go to college and are working toward scholarships.
I often hear of CPs making NCPs help pay for college and it astounds
me... no one forced MY parents to pay for MY college. Personally,
I like the idea of a young adult paying for their education themselves
either through scholarships or working BECAUSE they will be less
likely to "throw a class away" knowing what it took to pay for it. I
shall also not be buying my children cars (although my husband and I
bought an inexpensive one for the kids to USE). If they want their
own car, they shall have to work and save and, perhaps, even put some
sweat equity in. I believe this is necessary because I want them to
have enough "invested" in their car that they will be careful,
responsible drivers. THEY think I am mean. *I* think I am thinking.




Thanks,
Tracy
~~~~
http://www.hornschuch.net/tracy/