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#1
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OT -- Scary Weekend...
Well guys, I need to talk about this, and I can't talk about it to any of my
real life friends yet, so I'm going to talk about it here. This is very long... We had a very scary weekend, and I think we're all still in shock. It all started out well -- Dh and I were going to drive up to my Dad & Step-Mom's house, spend the night, then leave the kids with them and go up to Lake Tahoe. We were going to spend 1 night at the Mont Bleu hotel and see the English Beat in concert. We were both really looking forward to the weekend. 1 night and 2 days away. Instead, we ended up in the ER, dh spent 2 nights/days in the hospital, and came out with a pacemaker. Here's how it happened: About 4 days ago something odd happened, but we wrote it off. We were on our way to bed, and dh grabbed a couple cans to take them out to the garage to put in the recycling bin. I heard a thud, like he had dropped a case of bottled water or something. I was in a different room, so called out to him, "Rob, are you okay?" He didn't answer. I called again, really not thinking anything was remiss or worried at all. He didn't answer. He has the annoying husband tendancy of not answering me sometimes, and it was also possible that he was in the garage so hadn't heard me, so that's why I wasn't worried. So I call out a third time, while walking towards the butlers pantry hallway and the garage door. I see his foot on the ground, and go over to him. He's sitting partway up. I asked him if he was okay, and he said yes, but he didn't sound very sure of himself. I asked him what happened, and he said, "I must have tripped." "You tripped?" "Yeah, I think so. I tripped on this rug." "Did you hit your head? Are you okay?" "Yeah, I think I'm okay." "Well why are you still sitting there." "I'm just collecting myself." So I helped him up, he sort of shook it off, put the recycling in the bin, and we went up to bed. We talked about it a little more, and I kept thinking it was pretty odd that he had tripped on a rug that's been there for 4+ years, but eventually let it go. So, the weekend approached. We were originally going to try to drive up to my folks house mid-day (about an hour and 15 minute drive) on Thursday, and he would have his phone and laptop and continue to work. Things at work have been REALLY stressful for him, as Sprint just announced ANOTHER round of layoffs (3rd time in 3 years), and he's going to lose a bunch of his crew, so plans changed and he wasn't going to be able to take off early on Thursday. So we decided to take 2 cars. I'd go up with the girls, and he'd come later, hopefully in time for dinner, but basically when he could. The girls and I got there around 4:30 and hung out. Dh called to say that he'd probably be there around 8pm. We had dinner and put the girls to bed, and dh arrived. We saved a plate of food for him, and sat at the dining room table while he ate dinner, chatting and drinking wine. Around 10:30 we had all migrated towards the hallway to say goodnight and go to bed. I went over to lock the front door, and Dh went into the family room to pick up our overnight bag and his breifcase. He walked back up the hallway to where my folks were standing, and then suddenly was on the floor. He feel straight backwards. I ran over to him and knelt down next to him. His eyes were open but he was not right, and he was breathing. It wasn't a seizure like Taylor had (my first thought), but he was not responsive. After a couple seconds he "woke up" and looked at me and then my folks, and got a puzzled look on his face. I asked him if he was okay, and he said, "...yes..." with a tone like "Why are you staring at me, why am I on the ground, and why are you asking me if I'm okay?" I asked him if he knew what happened, and he didn't, so we told him that he had fainted or passed out. He was clearly shaken. He said he felt fine right and had no memory of it. We talked a little bit more about it, trying to make sense of it. We were all shaken up at this point. A little backstory: 10 years ago when we were in the process of losing Nathan, Rob had fainted one night. We had been on our way to bed, in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth and he was peeing, and peeing, and peeing. I made a joke about Austin Powers, and suddenly he fell onto the floor behind me. He was out for a few seconds and then woke up and was fine. I made him go to the ER. We were there until all hours of the night and early morning, and the end result was basically that he was perfectly healthy and under a lot of stress (no duh!), and that urinating actually can affect your blood flow. So, we talk about that incident, and how they were probably the same thing. Everyone seemed okay, dh seemed fine, and we grabbed our bags and went upstairs. We went into our room and sat on the edge of the bed. My folks came in and we were still sort of mulling it over, when dh leaned precariously over to his side. At first I thought he was kidding, but quickly realized that he had lost consciousness again. I grabbed him and laid him back on the bed, and told my step-mom to call 911. A couple seconds later he came to, and got a puzzled and then scared look on his face. Again he had no idea what just happened, and no memory of it. We talked it through some more, and he said that he fell totally normal and fine, but heard a slight mechanical buzzing sound and felt a flush go up his face about a second before he lost consciousness. I told him we'd called 911. He said that he felt fine, and he'd be okay with going to the ER, but didn't want an ambulance, that I could drive him. I told him that it's already too late, 911 has been called and are coming. He wanted to go downstairs to wait for them in the living room, but we wouldn't let him walk down the stairs in case he fainted again. They arrived 4 minutes later and came in our room giving him the full treatment. We answered questions and told them about what had just happened, as well as the other episode a couple days before that, which we realized was probably the same thing. The did an EKG which showed some irregular heartbeats, and recommended that he go to the emergency room. We all agreed, and off we went. Stepmom stayed with the kids and my dad drives me to the ER. In the ER his EKG continued to be irregular. The ran various tests and everything else cames back normal. By then it was 2 am, and we were all exhausted. The doctor cames in and said that he wanted Dh to be admitted to the hospital so that they can monitor him overnight. Dh started to shaking his head no, and said, "We'll call tomorrow and make an appointment..." The doctor reiterated that he wanted to monitor him, and started to explain that the irregular heartbeat was what was causing the fainting, and that it could happen again at any time, and that while it could just be another fainting spell, it was also possible that his heart would not remember to beat again, and he could die. He used the words "sudden death" twice. (WTF@!!!). For some asinine reason, dh kept trying to convince the doctor and me and my Dad that going home and making an appointment for later was the best option. I looked him straight in the face and said, "Sorry, you're not going home. You're staying right here. You're **** out of luck kid, because I'm not taking you home." He immediately agreed, but you could tell he really didn't want to stay. But he agreed. They got the paperwork ready and he told my dad and I to go home to bed. It was 3:30am. The next morning I go up, had a bit of breakfast, and called dh. He didn't answer his room phone. I called again a little later, and he didn't answer. Finally he called me, and I asked him where he was and he said, "I don't need to be here, but I'm in the ICU. They've parked me here while we wait for ambulance. They're transferring me to a different hospital that has a better cardiac center." He told me that they want him to meet with a cardiologist, who will run some tests, and that they may put in a pacemaker. Wow. We made plans that I would meet him over at the new hospital. I arrived at the hospital and found him in the electrophysiology lab. The cardiologist came in a few minutes later and talkr to us for about 5 minutes. Asked us questions, went over the history, looked at the chart. He said that dh had a right branch bundle block, which is basically an electrical malfunction. It wasn't firing correctly to tell his heart to beat, so his heart was beating slowly, and occasionally missing a beat, or two, or three. It's when it missed 3-4 beats in a row that he lost consciousness. He said that there are 3 levels -- level 1 is just a slow heartbeat, and doesn't need treatment, level 2 is the slow heartbeat and an occasional missed beat, which is more serious, and level 3 is missing the beat more often and more times in a row, and could lead to death. He said that Dh had a level 2, and he thought the episodes of fainting were level 3, and that it would just get worse as he ages. The doctor looked in the chart and wanted to see an EKG strip showing the level 2 heartbeats, but they weren't brought over from the other hospital. So he said, "Okay, let's see if we can stress your heart out enough to give me a strip showing the irregularity." He pushed hard on dh's carotid artery, hard enough to slow the blood flow. The EKG immediately showed irregular heartbeats -- even I could see that his heart was skipping a beat once, then normal for a bit, then two in a row, then normal for a bit, then another skip. He explained that for some reason the electric signals weren't being fired correctly and told us a few reaons why this can happen. Sometimes it's caused by medications, or toxoplasmosis, Lyme disease, genetics, and just getting old. None of these really apply as best we could tell. Dh is 39 (well, he turns 40 on Feb 12th) and while this is sometimes found in babies or younger people, it's not very common in men under 60. He said that dh needs a pacemaker, and the next thing we knew, they handed dh forms to sign and took him off to surgery to implant the pacemaker. 1.5 hours later, he was out of surgery and moved to a room in the hospital. He was discharged today at 4:30, and we got home around 7:00pm. It has been really hard for him to wrap his head around. He didn't feel sick or weak or ill in any way before the fainting episode, and felt normal and fine afterwards, so it's been really hard for him to deal with. I mean he fainted and BAM, 12 hours later he's in surgery and has a pacemaker. He will have a pacemaker for the rest of his life. He's scared and facing his mortality, and ashamed to talk about it and tell our friends. I think he feels vulnerable. He has a 3 inch incision on his chest where they put in the pacmaker and the wires to his heart. He cannot lift that arm over his head for a few weeks, and cannot lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk with that arm. He cannot drive until we go back for his wound check next week, which he is having a problem with. He has taken no pain meds since the surgery and has very little pain. I know that he's stressing about work next week and how he's going to tell his boss and handle the work committments that he has. I've told him that I'll drive him to the office several times next week, and he has a home based office, but I know that it's going to be hard on him. Luckily we left his car at my folks house. : ) I'm doing much better than I was on Friday during his surgery. I called and talked to my mom and his folks and explained to everyone what was going on. I read all the documentation that they gave us with the pacemaker, and it made me feel much better. They are so common, and so many people have them, that it took away a lot of the fear for me. The restrictions that he will have due to the pacemaker are very minimal. It has been easier for me to adjust to than it has for him though. I wish there was more I could do for him. I know he needs to join some sort of support group for people with pacemakers, and even one for young men with pacemakers, but he's not much of the joining type. -- Jamie Clark |
#2
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OT -- Scary Weekend...
Jamie Clark schrieb:
Well guys, I need to talk about this, and I can't talk about it to any of my real life friends yet, so I'm going to talk about it here. This is very long... We had a very scary weekend, and I think we're all still in shock. It all started out well -- Dh and I were going to drive up to my Dad & Step-Mom's house, spend the night, then leave the kids with them and go up to Lake Tahoe. We were going to spend 1 night at the Mont Bleu hotel and see the English Beat in concert. We were both really looking forward to the weekend. 1 night and 2 days away. Instead, we ended up in the ER, dh spent 2 nights/days in the hospital, and came out with a pacemaker. Here's how it happened: snip Wow. That's so scary. I hope you'll all recover quickly. I really don't know what else to say. take care nicole |
#3
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OT -- Scary Weekend...
"Jamie Clark" wrote:
Well guys, I need to talk about this, and I can't talk about it to any of my real life friends yet, so I'm going to talk about it here. This is very long... Wow, that is scary. I'm glad he did go to the hospital and get it figured out! How scary for both of you! -- Rebecca Jo Mama to Alexander 6/6/05 & Jack 7/7/07 |
#4
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OT -- Scary Weekend...
Well, thank your lucky stars, Jamie. Your DH did not have an episode
while driving his car! He is mostly healthy, but he has a condition that causes sudden and unpredictable loss of consciousness. For someone who drives a car, that is extremely deadly even apart from the intrinsic risk of a severe episode resulting in sudden cardiac arrest. That's the explanation I would use: it is a safety measure. Your DH has chosen to have a pacemaker because the risk of injury to others is unacceptable. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fainting BTW, in my house, calling "are you okay?" requires an immediate and loud reply to tell the caller it is okay to stand down from the default high alert. Pologirl |
#5
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OT -- Scary Weekend...
Another by the way...
Jamie, your DH did not experience of his loss of consciousness. He did not experience the terror that you experienced. He didn't even experience his own falling down, and he probably has no real memory of immediately before or afterward. He may accept intellectually that he needs the pacemaker but without the personal experience of something being shockingly not right, emotionally he does not accept it. Pologirl |
#6
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OT -- Scary Weekend...
Yeah, you are right. We both have very different experiences of what
happened. It's easier for me to accept the new reality, party because I did experience his fainting, and partly because the pacemaker is not implanted in my chest. I did not receive the news that I had an issue with my heart, like he did, so I don't have to face my mortality, but I had to face HIS. I faced the *idea* of losing him, so really, the pacemaker is a wonderful thing to me. So we are really at different places right now. But I know he just needs some time, and that he will come around. -- Jamie Clark "Pologirl" wrote in message ... Another by the way... Jamie, your DH did not experience of his loss of consciousness. He did not experience the terror that you experienced. He didn't even experience his own falling down, and he probably has no real memory of immediately before or afterward. He may accept intellectually that he needs the pacemaker but without the personal experience of something being shockingly not right, emotionally he does not accept it. Pologirl |
#7
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OT -- Scary Weekend...
On Jan 26, 11:55 pm, "Jamie Clark" wrote:
Well guys, I need to talk about this, and I can't talk about it to any of my real life friends yet, so I'm going to talk about it here. This is very long... We had a very scary weekend, and I think we're all still in shock. It all started out well -- Dh and I were going to drive up to my Dad & Step-Mom's house, spend the night, then leave the kids with them and go up to Lake Tahoe. We were going to spend 1 night at the Mont Bleu hotel and see the English Beat in concert. We were both really looking forward to the weekend. 1 night and 2 days away. Instead, we ended up in the ER, dh spent 2 nights/days in the hospital, and came out with a pacemaker. That is frightening. Unlike elective surgery you both had little time to be able to think about it, research options and plan. I'm glad you happened to have your kids in a safe place with built in childcare while you were dealing with this. Since this happened suddenly and you weren't given time to come to terms with it in advance, it will probably take some time now. --Betsy |
#8
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OT -- Scary Weekend...
Jamie Clark wrote:
Yeah, you are right. We both have very different experiences of what happened. It's easier for me to accept the new reality, party because I did experience his fainting, and partly because the pacemaker is not implanted in my chest. I did not receive the news that I had an issue with my heart, like he did, so I don't have to face my mortality, but I had to face HIS. I faced the *idea* of losing him, so really, the pacemaker is a wonderful thing to me. So we are really at different places right now. But I know he just needs some time, and that he will come around. I am so glad for him that you pressed the issue and he was treated. I have a 85 year old friend of the family who has had a pacemaker since the late 1950's and she's still going strong. We call her the Energizer Bunny. I hope your DH has the same success. gloria p |
#9
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OT -- Scary Weekend...
snipped but read.... I am so sorry about your pants of a weekend Jamie and just hope and pray now that your hubby makes a full recovery. april |
#10
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OT -- Scary Weekend...
Thanks April.
What exactly is a "pants of a weekend" ? LOL. That must be a UK slang thing! Thanks for the well wishes, he basically is fully recovered already. It was a very quick and simple out patient procedure. He'll have to go back in a week for a wound check and to recheck the pacemaker, but he's basically fine. I aprpeciate the prayers. -- Jamie Clark "april & co" wrote in message ... snipped but read.... I am so sorry about your pants of a weekend Jamie and just hope and pray now that your hubby makes a full recovery. april |
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