Daycare question for 2-year-old??

Hi,
My child is almost 2. Until now, she was taken care of by a nanny. I
hasten to say that we like the nanny, and my child is learning things
(she knows her animals, colors, shapes).

For a variety of reasons, we decided to try a daycare center. Here are
the reasons:
1. My child will get exposed to other kids.
2. We hope it will prevent further spoiling her (she thinks, naturally,
that she is the center of the universe right now, and she is slightly
spoiled, I have to admit)
3. In daycare, she'll get to do messy activities that I don't usually
tolerate at home (finger painting, for example).
4. In daycare, they have more toys than I am able or willing to provide
at home.
5. She has been resistent to potty-training, and we hope that if she
sees other kids doing it, she'll use the potty, too.
6. Finally, everybody says that if she doesn't get used to daycare now,
it will be more difficult for her to go to preschool when she is 3.

My child has been in daycare for a week (half day), and she is crying
when I drop her off. I am really very conflicted about this.

Can parents with kids this age please comment on my list of reasons for
daycare? In your experience, are kids who go to daycare when they are 2
better adjusted for preschool?
Thank you for reading!
Gia

I have comments only about a couple of things.


"Gia" wrote in message
ups.com...
Hi,
My child is almost 2. Until now, she was taken care of by a nanny. I
hasten to say that we like the nanny, and my child is learning things
(she knows her animals, colors, shapes).

For a variety of reasons, we decided to try a daycare center. Here are
the reasons:
1. My child will get exposed to other kids.
2. We hope it will prevent further spoiling her (she thinks, naturally,
that she is the center of the universe right now, and she is slightly
spoiled, I have to admit)


Whether or not she goes to daycare, if she is spoiled it should be stopped
at home with both the nanny and Mom and Dad. Set limits. If this is
difficult or you don't know how, read Setting Limits or some other such good
book

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/076...202/ref=pd_bbs
_1/104-4988866-7091903?ie=UTF8

Support your provider!

3. In daycare, she'll get to do messy activities that I don't usually
tolerate at home (finger painting, for example).


I am curious why you don't "tolerate' this sort of thing at home?

4. In daycare, they have more toys than I am able or willing to provide
at home.
5. She has been resistent to potty-training, and we hope that if she
sees other kids doing it, she'll use the potty, too.


She is 2. Most daycares won't have any more progress than you will at
training a 2yo.

6. Finally, everybody says that if she doesn't get used to daycare now,
it will be more difficult for her to go to preschool when she is 3.



Everyone is full of horse pucky.

My child has been in daycare for a week (half day), and she is crying
when I drop her off. I am really very conflicted about this.

Can parents with kids this age please comment on my list of reasons for
daycare? In your experience, are kids who go to daycare when they are 2
better adjusted for preschool?
Thank you for reading!
Gia

Hi,

1. My child will get exposed to other kids.
Could your nanny take your child to play groups? The library? Does
your school district offer any Early Childhood Family Education classes
for little ones?

2. We hope it will prevent further spoiling her (she thinks, naturally,
that she is the center of the universe right now, and she is slightly
spoiled, I have to admit)
She is two so she will think that she is the center of the universe,
but you can work on that without other kids being there.

3. In daycare, she'll get to do messy activities that I don't usually
tolerate at home (finger painting, for example).
Could she do any messy activities outside? Finger paint on an easel or
table in the yard?

4. In daycare, they have more toys than I am able or willing to provide
at home.
Early childhood teachers will tell you that the only toys a child of
this age really need are the three B's: Books, Balls, and Blocks.
Anything else is fun and may even be educational, but isn't really
necessary.

5. She has been resistent to potty-training, and we hope that if she
sees other kids doing it, she'll use the potty, too.
You say she's ALMOST 2? Now different people will tell you different
things, but our doctor told us not to try to potty train DD until she
either A.) Showed signs of readiness, or B.) was at least 2. Maybe
your DD isn't really ready yet. One thing I'm learning (slowly,
because I'm stubborn) is that potty training just can't be rushed. And
while peer pressure might work when other kids are around, it might
not work when she's home with you.

6. Finally, everybody says that if she doesn't get used to daycare now,
it will be more difficult for her to go to preschool when she is 3.
This I think is total bull (I would use the word malarchy, but I'm not
sure how to spell it.)! What about kids who stay home with their moms?
Are they all totally unprepared for preschool, I don't think so!

Do you still employ the nanny? If so I would just let your daughter
stay where she is most comfortable, I don't feel like your reasons for
daycare are strong enough to change your daughter's comfort zone. But
that's just my opinion.
Sarah

Gia wrote:
Hi,
My child is almost 2. Until now, she was taken care of by a nanny. I
hasten to say that we like the nanny, and my child is learning things
(she knows her animals, colors, shapes).

For a variety of reasons, we decided to try a daycare center. Here are
the reasons:
1. My child will get exposed to other kids.
2. We hope it will prevent further spoiling her (she thinks, naturally,
that she is the center of the universe right now, and she is slightly
spoiled, I have to admit)
3. In daycare, she'll get to do messy activities that I don't usually
tolerate at home (finger painting, for example).
4. In daycare, they have more toys than I am able or willing to provide
at home.
5. She has been resistent to potty-training, and we hope that if she
sees other kids doing it, she'll use the potty, too.
6. Finally, everybody says that if she doesn't get used to daycare now,
it will be more difficult for her to go to preschool when she is 3.

My child has been in daycare for a week (half day), and she is crying
when I drop her off. I am really very conflicted about this.

Can parents with kids this age please comment on my list of reasons for
daycare? In your experience, are kids who go to daycare when they are 2
better adjusted for preschool?
Thank you for reading!

It is not uncommon for some 2yos to have a very
difficult time transitioning to school. I think the
argument that she needs to be in school at 2 years old
because otherwise she'll have a hard time at 3 years old
is *completely* bogus. There are many kids who are
ready at three but not particularly ready at 2.
She will eventually adjust. She may be perfectly
ready to go now and is just going through a bit of a
transition, or it may be earlier than would be ideal for
her to go. Does that matter? If it's earlier than is
ideal for her to go, would you switch back? If you're
committed to the daycare, then be positive and supportive
and get on with it (after making sure that the staff
are handling the situation appropriately). If you are
stressing out over it, you're just going to make it worse
for her.
On the flip side, if you think she's not in a
great spot developmentally to do this, and you are
willing to back off, then by all means do that. It's
flat out ridiculous to say that a child who is not
even 2 years old yet is going to be damaged somehow
by quality care at home. It is certainly within
your ability to stop spoiling her and arrange for
some of the messier play to happen (or have your nanny
do so).
The main thing is that you have to make your
best assessment of what's best for her, and then do
it without all the waffling. Kids are resilient.
They learn to adapt to situations. You just don't
want to waffle back and forth and agonize over
everything all the time. That gives them a very
unsettled feeling and makes them anxious.

Best wishes,
Ericka

A good friend of mine teaches Kindergarten and has told me that she
definitely sees the difference between kids who went to daycare and those
who were in an only-child setting until school age. She says that the
children who went to daycare transition much more quickly and smoothly than
most of the others.

I have nothing against Nannies and know that they have many positives... but
thought I'd pass along info that I was told.

Best wishes!



"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
. ..
Gia wrote:
Hi,
My child is almost 2. Until now, she was taken care of by a nanny. I
hasten to say that we like the nanny, and my child is learning things
(she knows her animals, colors, shapes).

For a variety of reasons, we decided to try a daycare center. Here are
the reasons:
1. My child will get exposed to other kids.
2. We hope it will prevent further spoiling her (she thinks, naturally,
that she is the center of the universe right now, and she is slightly
spoiled, I have to admit)
3. In daycare, she'll get to do messy activities that I don't usually
tolerate at home (finger painting, for example).
4. In daycare, they have more toys than I am able or willing to provide
at home.
5. She has been resistent to potty-training, and we hope that if she
sees other kids doing it, she'll use the potty, too.
6. Finally, everybody says that if she doesn't get used to daycare now,
it will be more difficult for her to go to preschool when she is 3.

My child has been in daycare for a week (half day), and she is crying
when I drop her off. I am really very conflicted about this.

Can parents with kids this age please comment on my list of reasons for
daycare? In your experience, are kids who go to daycare when they are 2
better adjusted for preschool? Thank you for reading!

It is not uncommon for some 2yos to have a very
difficult time transitioning to school. I think the
argument that she needs to be in school at 2 years old
because otherwise she'll have a hard time at 3 years old
is *completely* bogus. There are many kids who are
ready at three but not particularly ready at 2.
She will eventually adjust. She may be perfectly
ready to go now and is just going through a bit of a
transition, or it may be earlier than would be ideal for
her to go. Does that matter? If it's earlier than is
ideal for her to go, would you switch back? If you're
committed to the daycare, then be positive and supportive
and get on with it (after making sure that the staff
are handling the situation appropriately). If you are
stressing out over it, you're just going to make it worse
for her.
On the flip side, if you think she's not in a
great spot developmentally to do this, and you are
willing to back off, then by all means do that. It's
flat out ridiculous to say that a child who is not
even 2 years old yet is going to be damaged somehow
by quality care at home. It is certainly within
your ability to stop spoiling her and arrange for
some of the messier play to happen (or have your nanny
do so).
The main thing is that you have to make your
best assessment of what's best for her, and then do
it without all the waffling. Kids are resilient.
They learn to adapt to situations. You just don't
want to waffle back and forth and agonize over
everything all the time. That gives them a very
unsettled feeling and makes them anxious.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Gia wrote:

My child has been in daycare for a week (half day), and she is crying
when I drop her off. I am really very conflicted about this.

First, does she cry the whole half day or just at drop off?

You've gotten some really good comments on this so I just have one more
thing to add. One thing that daycares I am acquainted with do (my
daughter has been in daycare for 5 months, since she was a year old) is
that they have a transition week (or two) so you don't drop them off
alone until they are used to it. Basically the first half-day you go
with the child, then if they are doing well maybe the next day you
leave the child alone for a bit, and by the end of the week work up to
a full or almost full day alone. If it's taking longer for the child to
adjust you continue going with them into the second week.

I was just wondering if you had this kind of transition time with your
daughter. Also if she is just crying when you drop her off then going
on to have fun I wouldn't worry about it. It will likely stop soon.

Daycare vs. nanny is a decision very specifc to the needs of your kids
and your family.

good luck!
Elle

I'll add one more thing to the mix. My 20 month old daughter seems to really
enjoy her 2 morning a week PDO program (mostly, I suspect, because of the
indoor and outdoor toddler large motor play areas, which rival Gymboree and
are, unlike the neighborhood playgrounds, sized for her age group), and
talks about it at home all the time, but she fusses to a major degree when
she's dropped off-and she started this right about at 15 months or so.
However, I've gone around to the window to be able to watch her, and that
crying lasts maybe 2-3 minutes after I leave the room and am out of sight.
According to the director, that's really typical for young toddlers. They
know that mommy's leaving, and they know that they can make mommy feel bad
for leaving while crying horribly, but once mommy's gone, they're ready for
the task at hand. As they move into preschool, they tend more to the "bye,
see you later". She also said that for a young toddler, it would be more
worrisome if a child didn't do this, even if it does make mommy feel
horrible.

--
Donna DeVore Metler
Orff Music Specialist/Kindermusik
Mother to Angel Brian Anthony 1/1/2002, 22 weeks, severe PE/HELLP
And Allison Joy, 11/25/04 (35 weeks, PIH, Pre-term labor)

tmdl20 wrote:
A good friend of mine teaches Kindergarten and has told me that she
definitely sees the difference between kids who went to daycare and those
who were in an only-child setting until school age. She says that the
children who went to daycare transition much more quickly and smoothly than
most of the others.

I have nothing against Nannies and know that they have many positives... but
thought I'd pass along info that I was told.

A) There are many years between not even 2 years old and
kindergarten entry. I am unaware of any research, or
even anecdotal experience, saying that you have to get
the kid out of the house before 2 years old or the kid
won't be able to adjust in kindy. I've had kids go both
ways (some starting after 3yo, some starting at 2yo) and
there wasn't a darned bit of difference by kindergarten
entry.
B) Those differences between kids who did and didn't have
preschool/daycare experience prior to kindergarten
disappear rapidly as long as the kids who were at
home had an appropriate environment. I.e., kids who
were in an impoverished (in terms of cognitive
stimulation and such) environment at home suffer
long term consequences that aren't so easy to mitigate,
but those with a rich environment at home and good
care just take a little longer to learn the ropes of
working in a large group.

Best wishes,
Ericka

You know, Micah started doing the same thing at church nursery right
around 15 months... He *had* been the angel I-love-nursery child up
until then, but for the last few months it's been difficult. I guess
this makes sense!

Em
mama to Micah, 11/14/04

Donna Metler wrote:
....
According to the director, that's really typical for young toddlers. They
know that mommy's leaving, and they know that they can make mommy feel bad
for leaving while crying horribly, but once mommy's gone, they're ready for
the task at hand. As they move into preschool, they tend more to the "bye,
see you later". She also said that for a young toddler, it would be more
worrisome if a child didn't do this, even if it does make mommy feel
horrible.

Top post

All the reasons are good but you dont have to do it right now if shes
not ready. No harm in waiting 6 monthws and seeing if she liked it
better. One of ours loved preschool from 1.5 years and the other not
until 3 yrs. Depends a lot on the child.


Gia wrote:
Hi,
My child is almost 2. Until now, she was taken care of by a nanny. I
hasten to say that we like the nanny, and my child is learning things
(she knows her animals, colors, shapes).

For a variety of reasons, we decided to try a daycare center. Here are
the reasons:
1. My child will get exposed to other kids.
2. We hope it will prevent further spoiling her (she thinks, naturally,
that she is the center of the universe right now, and she is slightly
spoiled, I have to admit)
3. In daycare, she'll get to do messy activities that I don't usually
tolerate at home (finger painting, for example).
4. In daycare, they have more toys than I am able or willing to provide
at home.
5. She has been resistent to potty-training, and we hope that if she
sees other kids doing it, she'll use the potty, too.
6. Finally, everybody says that if she doesn't get used to daycare now,
it will be more difficult for her to go to preschool when she is 3.

My child has been in daycare for a week (half day), and she is crying
when I drop her off. I am really very conflicted about this.

Can parents with kids this age please comment on my list of reasons for
daycare? In your experience, are kids who go to daycare when they are 2
better adjusted for preschool?
Thank you for reading!
Gia