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really bummed out about shooting and in laws



 
 
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  #1  
Old August 25th 06, 01:21 AM posted to misc.kids
StephanieTheGoofy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 75
Default really bummed out about shooting and in laws

I live in Nowwhere VT. My son is starting Kindergarten in a little over a
week. Two things happened today that disturbed me greatly. In a town 2 towns
over from mine there was a shooting at a school. And my in-laws let me son
watch the news and listen to them gossip about the shooting. The details of
the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my child is
in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me, and
very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am not
leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night. He
*did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the
hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go.
(Another story of no particular note.)

He was already nervous about starting school. He needs this like he needs a
hole in the head. He is not the kind to speak easily about his thoughts.
(Like his Dad.) Can anyone offer me thoughts? I would not like to just
assume all is well unless he raises a hue and cry since I don't think he
ever would except possibly in subtle ways that would look like disciplne
issues. I can keep my eyes open for that. But I don't want to make a
mountain out of a molehill if a molehill is all we have.

Thoughts, please.

Stephanie


  #2  
Old August 25th 06, 01:57 AM posted to misc.kids
Chookie
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,085
Default really bummed out about shooting and in laws

In article morHg.5980$jX.1233@trndny06,
"StephanieTheGoofy" wrote:

The details of
the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my child is
in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me, and
very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am not
leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night. He
*did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the
hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go.
(Another story of no particular note.)


I can't fathom why you aren't leaving the house and whether DS does or does
not want to go to TKD!

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may
start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled."
Kerry Cue
  #3  
Old August 25th 06, 03:10 AM posted to misc.kids
Aula
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 82
Default really bummed out about shooting and in laws


"StephanieTheGoofy" wrote in message
news:morHg.5980$jX.1233@trndny06...
I live in Nowwhere VT. My son is starting Kindergarten in a little over a
week. Two things happened today that disturbed me greatly. In a town 2

towns
over from mine there was a shooting at a school. And my in-laws let me son
watch the news and listen to them gossip about the shooting. The details

of
the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my child

is
in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me,

and
very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am not
leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night. He
*did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the
hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go.
(Another story of no particular note.)

He was already nervous about starting school. He needs this like he needs

a
hole in the head. He is not the kind to speak easily about his thoughts.
(Like his Dad.) Can anyone offer me thoughts? I would not like to just
assume all is well unless he raises a hue and cry since I don't think he
ever would except possibly in subtle ways that would look like disciplne
issues. I can keep my eyes open for that. But I don't want to make a
mountain out of a molehill if a molehill is all we have.


I'm really confused. Who is afraid of leaving the house and why? The way
you wrote that it sounds like you are refusing to leave, but I somehow don't
think that is what you meant. Could you please clarify?

I also live in VT and saw the tv news about the shootings. They were
apparently related to a relationship gone bad so there shouldn't be any
further danger to anyone in the community and, anyway, the shooter is in
custody. These things happen, sadly, and have nothing to do with whether or
not school is in session. The only tie in is that the ex-girl friend of the
shooter works at the school and there were people, presumably including her,
shot there. That falls in the category of coincidence. She could just as
easily have worked at Wal-Mart or CVS, iykwim. Would your MIL have then
told your DS it was too dangerous to go to Wal-Mart because people who go
there get shot?

You're probably upset, so take some breaths and try to help us understand
what has happened in your family and why and then we'll probably give you
more opinions than you were ready to read.

-Aula


  #4  
Old August 25th 06, 08:06 AM posted to misc.kids
L.
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 184
Default really bummed out about shooting and in laws


StephanieTheGoofy wrote:
I live in Nowwhere VT. My son is starting Kindergarten in a little over a
week. Two things happened today that disturbed me greatly. In a town 2 towns
over from mine there was a shooting at a school. And my in-laws let me son
watch the news and listen to them gossip about the shooting. The details of
the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my child is
in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me, and
very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am not
leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night. He
*did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the
hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go.
(Another story of no particular note.)

He was already nervous about starting school. He needs this like he needs a
hole in the head. He is not the kind to speak easily about his thoughts.
(Like his Dad.) Can anyone offer me thoughts? I would not like to just
assume all is well unless he raises a hue and cry since I don't think he
ever would except possibly in subtle ways that would look like disciplne
issues. I can keep my eyes open for that. But I don't want to make a
mountain out of a molehill if a molehill is all we have.

Thoughts, please.

Stephanie


If you think he is upset about it, you need to sit him down and discuss
it with him. Tell him you know that Gma let him watch what happened on
TV and that they were talking about it, and you understand why that
might make him feel nervous or scared. Explain to him that this was an
isolated incident where someone bad came looking for someone they knew
and it wasn't because a stranger came in to the school. Reinforce that
his school is safe and talk to him about the safety plans they have in
place (like no strangers on campus, locked doors, staff patorls, etc.)
I would approach the subect head-on and encourage him to come to you
if he thinks of any more quesytions he wants to ask about it.

Later, in un-related conversations, reinforce how fun school will be
in casual conversation. Be sure to give him things to look forward to
- old friends, new friends, class pets, nice teachers, etc.

Good luck,
-L.

  #5  
Old August 25th 06, 12:11 PM posted to misc.kids
StephanieTheGoofy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 75
Default really bummed out about shooting and in laws


"Chookie" wrote in message
...
In article morHg.5980$jX.1233@trndny06,
"StephanieTheGoofy" wrote:

The details of
the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my

child is
in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me,

and
very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am

not
leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night.

He
*did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the
hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go.
(Another story of no particular note.)


I can't fathom why you aren't leaving the house and whether DS does or

does
not want to go to TKD!



That was not me. That was my MIL. She is uptight.


--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You

may
start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled."
Kerry Cue



  #6  
Old August 25th 06, 12:31 PM posted to misc.kids
StephanieTheGoofy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 75
Default really bummed out about shooting and in laws


"Aula" wrote in message
...

"StephanieTheGoofy" wrote in message
news:morHg.5980$jX.1233@trndny06...
I live in Nowwhere VT. My son is starting Kindergarten in a little over

a
week. Two things happened today that disturbed me greatly. In a town 2

towns
over from mine there was a shooting at a school. And my in-laws let me

son
watch the news and listen to them gossip about the shooting. The details

of
the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my

child
is
in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me,

and
very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am

not
leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night.

He
*did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the
hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go.
(Another story of no particular note.)

He was already nervous about starting school. He needs this like he

needs
a
hole in the head. He is not the kind to speak easily about his thoughts.
(Like his Dad.) Can anyone offer me thoughts? I would not like to just
assume all is well unless he raises a hue and cry since I don't think he
ever would except possibly in subtle ways that would look like disciplne
issues. I can keep my eyes open for that. But I don't want to make a
mountain out of a molehill if a molehill is all we have.


I'm really confused. Who is afraid of leaving the house and why? The way
you wrote that it sounds like you are refusing to leave, but I somehow

don't
think that is what you meant. Could you please clarify?



No sorry I was unclear. My MIL was saying that yesterday, the day of the
shooting which occured several miles from her house but nearby by hicksville
standards. I was sort of quoting gma without any quotes. Very confusing.

I also live in VT and saw the tv news about the shootings. They were
apparently related to a relationship gone bad so there shouldn't be any
further danger to anyone in the community and, anyway, the shooter is in
custody. These things happen, sadly, and have nothing to do with whether

or
not school is in session. The only tie in is that the ex-girl friend of

the
shooter works at the school and there were people, presumably including

her,
shot there. That falls in the category of coincidence. She could just as
easily have worked at Wal-Mart or CVS, iykwim. Would your MIL have then
told your DS it was too dangerous to go to Wal-Mart because people who go
there get shot?



Yeah unfortunalte she might allow him to hear how she is not going to Wal
Mart anymore.

You're probably upset, so take some breaths and try to help us understand
what has happened in your family and why and then we'll probably give you
more opinions than you were ready to read.

-Aula



I am not particularly upset. What happened more clearly. Shooting occured.
MIL allowed DS 5 to watch the news and learn about what, when, where and
how. MIL allowed DS to overhear that she was changing her previously made
plans for the day because she was not leaving the house since a shooting
occured. DS then decided to change his plans to go to TKD. DS was already
stressed about starting Kindergarten. I am concerned that the news that a
shooting occurred at a school and that a teacher was killed will cause fear
of school.

I think I will take L's advice and speak to him directly while generally
upselling school at other opportunities.

Thanks.


  #7  
Old August 26th 06, 12:13 AM posted to misc.kids
Aula
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 82
Default really bummed out about shooting and in laws


"StephanieTheGoofy" wrote in message
news:wcBHg.2751$HW1.1160@trndny03...
I am not particularly upset. What happened more clearly. Shooting occured.
MIL allowed DS 5 to watch the news and learn about what, when, where and
how. MIL allowed DS to overhear that she was changing her previously made
plans for the day because she was not leaving the house since a shooting
occured. DS then decided to change his plans to go to TKD. DS was already
stressed about starting Kindergarten. I am concerned that the news that a
shooting occurred at a school and that a teacher was killed will cause

fear
of school.

I think I will take L's advice and speak to him directly while generally
upselling school at other opportunities.


Thanks for the clarification. That was a horrible event. I'm used to
hearing about things probably a bit more than many from hereabouts because
of living in FL for 13+ years. Your choice to follow L's advice is probably
a good one and I hope your little guy does fine. Your MIL,otoh, needs to
remember what it is like to have young children around and edit her news
exposure accordingly. I don't know if you have the type of relationship
where you could bring it up with her and expect reasonable results, but if
you can you'll probably feel better about that aspect of the situation.

-Aula


  #8  
Old August 28th 06, 04:37 PM posted to misc.kids
LaTreen Washington
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 21
Default really bummed out about shooting and in laws


"StephanieTheGoofy" wrote in message
news:morHg.5980$jX.1233@trndny06...
He needs this like he needs a
hole in the head.

Stephanie



With school shootings in your area you might want to be careful what you
wish for.


 




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