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#1
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really bummed out about shooting and in laws
I live in Nowwhere VT. My son is starting Kindergarten in a little over a
week. Two things happened today that disturbed me greatly. In a town 2 towns over from mine there was a shooting at a school. And my in-laws let me son watch the news and listen to them gossip about the shooting. The details of the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my child is in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me, and very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am not leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night. He *did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go. (Another story of no particular note.) He was already nervous about starting school. He needs this like he needs a hole in the head. He is not the kind to speak easily about his thoughts. (Like his Dad.) Can anyone offer me thoughts? I would not like to just assume all is well unless he raises a hue and cry since I don't think he ever would except possibly in subtle ways that would look like disciplne issues. I can keep my eyes open for that. But I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill if a molehill is all we have. Thoughts, please. Stephanie |
#2
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really bummed out about shooting and in laws
In article morHg.5980$jX.1233@trndny06,
"StephanieTheGoofy" wrote: The details of the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my child is in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me, and very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am not leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night. He *did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go. (Another story of no particular note.) I can't fathom why you aren't leaving the house and whether DS does or does not want to go to TKD! -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) "Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled." Kerry Cue |
#3
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really bummed out about shooting and in laws
"StephanieTheGoofy" wrote in message news:morHg.5980$jX.1233@trndny06... I live in Nowwhere VT. My son is starting Kindergarten in a little over a week. Two things happened today that disturbed me greatly. In a town 2 towns over from mine there was a shooting at a school. And my in-laws let me son watch the news and listen to them gossip about the shooting. The details of the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my child is in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me, and very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am not leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night. He *did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go. (Another story of no particular note.) He was already nervous about starting school. He needs this like he needs a hole in the head. He is not the kind to speak easily about his thoughts. (Like his Dad.) Can anyone offer me thoughts? I would not like to just assume all is well unless he raises a hue and cry since I don't think he ever would except possibly in subtle ways that would look like disciplne issues. I can keep my eyes open for that. But I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill if a molehill is all we have. I'm really confused. Who is afraid of leaving the house and why? The way you wrote that it sounds like you are refusing to leave, but I somehow don't think that is what you meant. Could you please clarify? I also live in VT and saw the tv news about the shootings. They were apparently related to a relationship gone bad so there shouldn't be any further danger to anyone in the community and, anyway, the shooter is in custody. These things happen, sadly, and have nothing to do with whether or not school is in session. The only tie in is that the ex-girl friend of the shooter works at the school and there were people, presumably including her, shot there. That falls in the category of coincidence. She could just as easily have worked at Wal-Mart or CVS, iykwim. Would your MIL have then told your DS it was too dangerous to go to Wal-Mart because people who go there get shot? You're probably upset, so take some breaths and try to help us understand what has happened in your family and why and then we'll probably give you more opinions than you were ready to read. -Aula |
#4
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really bummed out about shooting and in laws
StephanieTheGoofy wrote: I live in Nowwhere VT. My son is starting Kindergarten in a little over a week. Two things happened today that disturbed me greatly. In a town 2 towns over from mine there was a shooting at a school. And my in-laws let me son watch the news and listen to them gossip about the shooting. The details of the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my child is in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me, and very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am not leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night. He *did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go. (Another story of no particular note.) He was already nervous about starting school. He needs this like he needs a hole in the head. He is not the kind to speak easily about his thoughts. (Like his Dad.) Can anyone offer me thoughts? I would not like to just assume all is well unless he raises a hue and cry since I don't think he ever would except possibly in subtle ways that would look like disciplne issues. I can keep my eyes open for that. But I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill if a molehill is all we have. Thoughts, please. Stephanie If you think he is upset about it, you need to sit him down and discuss it with him. Tell him you know that Gma let him watch what happened on TV and that they were talking about it, and you understand why that might make him feel nervous or scared. Explain to him that this was an isolated incident where someone bad came looking for someone they knew and it wasn't because a stranger came in to the school. Reinforce that his school is safe and talk to him about the safety plans they have in place (like no strangers on campus, locked doors, staff patorls, etc.) I would approach the subect head-on and encourage him to come to you if he thinks of any more quesytions he wants to ask about it. Later, in un-related conversations, reinforce how fun school will be in casual conversation. Be sure to give him things to look forward to - old friends, new friends, class pets, nice teachers, etc. Good luck, -L. |
#5
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really bummed out about shooting and in laws
"Chookie" wrote in message ... In article morHg.5980$jX.1233@trndny06, "StephanieTheGoofy" wrote: The details of the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my child is in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me, and very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am not leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night. He *did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go. (Another story of no particular note.) I can't fathom why you aren't leaving the house and whether DS does or does not want to go to TKD! That was not me. That was my MIL. She is uptight. -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) "Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled." Kerry Cue |
#6
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really bummed out about shooting and in laws
"Aula" wrote in message ... "StephanieTheGoofy" wrote in message news:morHg.5980$jX.1233@trndny06... I live in Nowwhere VT. My son is starting Kindergarten in a little over a week. Two things happened today that disturbed me greatly. In a town 2 towns over from mine there was a shooting at a school. And my in-laws let me son watch the news and listen to them gossip about the shooting. The details of the shooting do not raise an particular level of fear in me that my child is in danger in school. But I am troubled that Gma was saying things to me, and very liekly others, that we were going to do this or that but now I am not leaving the house. DS loves Tae Kwon Do. Thursday is Tae Kwon Do night. He *did not* want to go. This feeling was not expressed until after all the hullaballoo. He was arguing with me this am that he really wanted to go. (Another story of no particular note.) He was already nervous about starting school. He needs this like he needs a hole in the head. He is not the kind to speak easily about his thoughts. (Like his Dad.) Can anyone offer me thoughts? I would not like to just assume all is well unless he raises a hue and cry since I don't think he ever would except possibly in subtle ways that would look like disciplne issues. I can keep my eyes open for that. But I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill if a molehill is all we have. I'm really confused. Who is afraid of leaving the house and why? The way you wrote that it sounds like you are refusing to leave, but I somehow don't think that is what you meant. Could you please clarify? No sorry I was unclear. My MIL was saying that yesterday, the day of the shooting which occured several miles from her house but nearby by hicksville standards. I was sort of quoting gma without any quotes. Very confusing. I also live in VT and saw the tv news about the shootings. They were apparently related to a relationship gone bad so there shouldn't be any further danger to anyone in the community and, anyway, the shooter is in custody. These things happen, sadly, and have nothing to do with whether or not school is in session. The only tie in is that the ex-girl friend of the shooter works at the school and there were people, presumably including her, shot there. That falls in the category of coincidence. She could just as easily have worked at Wal-Mart or CVS, iykwim. Would your MIL have then told your DS it was too dangerous to go to Wal-Mart because people who go there get shot? Yeah unfortunalte she might allow him to hear how she is not going to Wal Mart anymore. You're probably upset, so take some breaths and try to help us understand what has happened in your family and why and then we'll probably give you more opinions than you were ready to read. -Aula I am not particularly upset. What happened more clearly. Shooting occured. MIL allowed DS 5 to watch the news and learn about what, when, where and how. MIL allowed DS to overhear that she was changing her previously made plans for the day because she was not leaving the house since a shooting occured. DS then decided to change his plans to go to TKD. DS was already stressed about starting Kindergarten. I am concerned that the news that a shooting occurred at a school and that a teacher was killed will cause fear of school. I think I will take L's advice and speak to him directly while generally upselling school at other opportunities. Thanks. |
#7
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really bummed out about shooting and in laws
"StephanieTheGoofy" wrote in message news:wcBHg.2751$HW1.1160@trndny03... I am not particularly upset. What happened more clearly. Shooting occured. MIL allowed DS 5 to watch the news and learn about what, when, where and how. MIL allowed DS to overhear that she was changing her previously made plans for the day because she was not leaving the house since a shooting occured. DS then decided to change his plans to go to TKD. DS was already stressed about starting Kindergarten. I am concerned that the news that a shooting occurred at a school and that a teacher was killed will cause fear of school. I think I will take L's advice and speak to him directly while generally upselling school at other opportunities. Thanks for the clarification. That was a horrible event. I'm used to hearing about things probably a bit more than many from hereabouts because of living in FL for 13+ years. Your choice to follow L's advice is probably a good one and I hope your little guy does fine. Your MIL,otoh, needs to remember what it is like to have young children around and edit her news exposure accordingly. I don't know if you have the type of relationship where you could bring it up with her and expect reasonable results, but if you can you'll probably feel better about that aspect of the situation. -Aula |
#8
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really bummed out about shooting and in laws
"StephanieTheGoofy" wrote in message news:morHg.5980$jX.1233@trndny06... He needs this like he needs a hole in the head. Stephanie With school shootings in your area you might want to be careful what you wish for. |
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