Victory!

"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
Gini wrote:
"Bob Whiteside" wrote
"Soprano" wrote
After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was able
to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve of my
namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay!
Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his mother's
funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart surgery.

I will never understand how some women can celebrate being downright
nasty as some sort of moral victory.
==
Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read
usenet.



I wasn't trying to be nasty.

It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the
father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking at a
minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control. If you
were still married and either you or your husband lost his job, you would
tighten your belts and get through the rough patch, and the government
would say nothing about it. Since you are divorced, and filing for CS,
YOU still get to tighten your belt and get through rough patches--but
your ex no longer has that luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per
month no matter what. And there are outrageous consequences if he
fails--whether it is his fault or not. And YOU will not have the luxury
of being kind and saying "We'll get by on less this month." It is no
longer YOUR CHOICE--the government has taken over!
I communicate with her father and she is 6.

You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS rather
than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a position where he
can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose his job without
accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child support--and if the illness,
injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he will be held guilty of a felony
just because he cannot pay what he does not have! In Ca, if the court
orders it, payments go through the state system--and you will not have the
power to say that he does not need to pay for a couple of months until he
gets back on his feet. You will have put all control over that into the
hands of the CS system. I am not saying that he should not support his
child--but why does support have to be a certain amount of money, determined
by people who neither know nor care about your child, you, or the father?
If you communicate with him, sit down with him and show him what the state
will take from him each month--then work out an agreement where he will pay
an amount agreeable to both of you, and you wnd he will both keep records.
You can always file later if he does not live up to his end of the
agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace wants you to give up your
power to a government agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of handling
things on your own?

teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
Gini wrote:
"Bob Whiteside" wrote
"Soprano" wrote
After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was able
to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve of my
namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay!
Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his mother's
funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart surgery.

I will never understand how some women can celebrate being downright
nasty as some sort of moral victory.
==
Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read
usenet.



I wasn't trying to be nasty.
It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the
father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking at a
minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control. If you
were still married and either you or your husband lost his job, you would
tighten your belts and get through the rough patch, and the government
would say nothing about it. Since you are divorced, and filing for CS,
YOU still get to tighten your belt and get through rough patches--but
your ex no longer has that luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per
month no matter what. And there are outrageous consequences if he
fails--whether it is his fault or not. And YOU will not have the luxury
of being kind and saying "We'll get by on less this month." It is no
longer YOUR CHOICE--the government has taken over!
I communicate with her father and she is 6.

You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS rather
than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a position where he
can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose his job without
accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child support--and if the illness,
injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he will be held guilty of a felony
just because he cannot pay what he does not have! In Ca, if the court
orders it, payments go through the state system--and you will not have the
power to say that he does not need to pay for a couple of months until he
gets back on his feet. You will have put all control over that into the
hands of the CS system. I am not saying that he should not support his
child--but why does support have to be a certain amount of money, determined
by people who neither know nor care about your child, you, or the father?
If you communicate with him, sit down with him and show him what the state
will take from him each month--then work out an agreement where he will pay
an amount agreeable to both of you, and you wnd he will both keep records.
You can always file later if he does not live up to his end of the
agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace wants you to give up your
power to a government agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of handling
things on your own?


His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His Grace
thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency handle my
ex, if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to discuss this
in personal confidence in private email.

"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
Gini wrote:
"Bob Whiteside" wrote
"Soprano" wrote
After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was
able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve of
my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay!
Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his mother's
funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart surgery.

I will never understand how some women can celebrate being downright
nasty as some sort of moral victory.
==
Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read
usenet.



I wasn't trying to be nasty.
It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the
father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking at
a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control. If
you were still married and either you or your husband lost his job, you
would tighten your belts and get through the rough patch, and the
government would say nothing about it. Since you are divorced, and
filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your belt and get through rough
patches--but your ex no longer has that luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he
pay $X per month no matter what. And there are outrageous consequences
if he fails--whether it is his fault or not. And YOU will not have the
luxury of being kind and saying "We'll get by on less this month." It
is no longer YOUR CHOICE--the government has taken over!
I communicate with her father and she is 6.

You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS
rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a position
where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose his job
without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child support--and if the
illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he will be held guilty of
a felony just because he cannot pay what he does not have! In Ca, if the
court orders it, payments go through the state system--and you will not
have the power to say that he does not need to pay for a couple of months
until he gets back on his feet. You will have put all control over that
into the hands of the CS system. I am not saying that he should not
support his child--but why does support have to be a certain amount of
money, determined by people who neither know nor care about your child,
you, or the father? If you communicate with him, sit down with him and
show him what the state will take from him each month--then work out an
agreement where he will pay an amount agreeable to both of you, and you
wnd he will both keep records. You can always file later if he does not
live up to his end of the agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace
wants you to give up your power to a government agency? Doesn't he think
you are capable of handling things on your own?
His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His Grace
thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency handle my ex,
if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to discuss this in
personal confidence in private email.

Perhaps. I don't know you or your circumstances. I do know the pressure to
have to pay when there is no money to pay destroys relationships and breeds
resentments. I also know that, the vast majority of the time, children
function better with both parents in their lives--and even better when the
parents are able to communicate with each other without resentments clouding
their relationship. Maybe you and His Grace have already sat down with dad
and discussed the importance of both his presence in your child's life and
his financial responsibility to her. Maybe he didn't listen. Again, I
don't know. But if His Grace is one of those who thinks that a child is
owed a certain lifestyle, no matter what it does to the noncustodial parent,
I will have to disagree with him. And THAT is also the main disagreement I
have with the CS system. A child deserves to have his/her needs met.
He/She is NOT owed a life high on the hog.

teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
Gini wrote:
"Bob Whiteside" wrote
"Soprano" wrote
After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was
able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve of
my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay!
Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his mother's
funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart surgery.

I will never understand how some women can celebrate being downright
nasty as some sort of moral victory.
==
Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read
usenet.



I wasn't trying to be nasty.
It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the
father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking at
a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control. If
you were still married and either you or your husband lost his job, you
would tighten your belts and get through the rough patch, and the
government would say nothing about it. Since you are divorced, and
filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your belt and get through rough
patches--but your ex no longer has that luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he
pay $X per month no matter what. And there are outrageous consequences
if he fails--whether it is his fault or not. And YOU will not have the
luxury of being kind and saying "We'll get by on less this month." It
is no longer YOUR CHOICE--the government has taken over!
I communicate with her father and she is 6.
You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS
rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a position
where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose his job
without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child support--and if the
illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he will be held guilty of
a felony just because he cannot pay what he does not have! In Ca, if the
court orders it, payments go through the state system--and you will not
have the power to say that he does not need to pay for a couple of months
until he gets back on his feet. You will have put all control over that
into the hands of the CS system. I am not saying that he should not
support his child--but why does support have to be a certain amount of
money, determined by people who neither know nor care about your child,
you, or the father? If you communicate with him, sit down with him and
show him what the state will take from him each month--then work out an
agreement where he will pay an amount agreeable to both of you, and you
wnd he will both keep records. You can always file later if he does not
live up to his end of the agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace
wants you to give up your power to a government agency? Doesn't he think
you are capable of handling things on your own?
His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His Grace
thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency handle my ex,
if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to discuss this in
personal confidence in private email.

Perhaps. I don't know you or your circumstances. I do know the pressure to
have to pay when there is no money to pay destroys relationships and breeds
resentments. I also know that, the vast majority of the time, children
function better with both parents in their lives--and even better when the
parents are able to communicate with each other without resentments clouding
their relationship. Maybe you and His Grace have already sat down with dad
and discussed the importance of both his presence in your child's life and
his financial responsibility to her. Maybe he didn't listen. Again, I
don't know. But if His Grace is one of those who thinks that a child is
owed a certain lifestyle, no matter what it does to the noncustodial parent,
I will have to disagree with him. And THAT is also the main disagreement I
have with the CS system. A child deserves to have his/her needs met.
He/She is NOT owed a life high on the hog.


Nope. His Grace is in Anchorage, AK, we are in Marin County, California.
Its not about communication or resentments. Trying to manage it
ourselves would build resentments. To each their own. I seriously doubt
His Grace thinks a child is owed a certain lifestyle, His Grace has been
a monk for 36 years, more years than I have been alive, and monks take a
vow of poverty. I am not going to argue with the former head of Family
Support Services. His Grace knows me and my ex's circumstances. I will
listen to His Grace.

"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
Gini wrote:
"Bob Whiteside" wrote
"Soprano" wrote
After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was
able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve
of my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay!
Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his
mother's funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart
surgery.

I will never understand how some women can celebrate being
downright nasty as some sort of moral victory.
==
Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read
usenet.



I wasn't trying to be nasty.
It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the
father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking
at a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control.
If you were still married and either you or your husband lost his
job, you would tighten your belts and get through the rough patch,
and the government would say nothing about it. Since you are
divorced, and filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your belt and
get through rough patches--but your ex no longer has that luxury.
CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per month no matter what. And there are
outrageous consequences if he fails--whether it is his fault or not.
And YOU will not have the luxury of being kind and saying "We'll get
by on less this month." It is no longer YOUR CHOICE--the government
has taken over!
I communicate with her father and she is 6.
You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS
rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a
position where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose
his job without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child
support--and if the illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he
will be held guilty of a felony just because he cannot pay what he does
not have! In Ca, if the court orders it, payments go through the state
system--and you will not have the power to say that he does not need to
pay for a couple of months until he gets back on his feet. You will
have put all control over that into the hands of the CS system. I am
not saying that he should not support his child--but why does support
have to be a certain amount of money, determined by people who neither
know nor care about your child, you, or the father? If you communicate
with him, sit down with him and show him what the state will take from
him each month--then work out an agreement where he will pay an amount
agreeable to both of you, and you wnd he will both keep records. You
can always file later if he does not live up to his end of the
agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace wants you to give up your
power to a government agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of
handling things on your own?
His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His Grace
thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency handle my
ex, if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to discuss this
in personal confidence in private email.

Perhaps. I don't know you or your circumstances. I do know the pressure
to have to pay when there is no money to pay destroys relationships and
breeds resentments. I also know that, the vast majority of the time,
children function better with both parents in their lives--and even
better when the parents are able to communicate with each other without
resentments clouding their relationship. Maybe you and His Grace have
already sat down with dad and discussed the importance of both his
presence in your child's life and his financial responsibility to her.
Maybe he didn't listen. Again, I don't know. But if His Grace is one of
those who thinks that a child is owed a certain lifestyle, no matter what
it does to the noncustodial parent, I will have to disagree with him.
And THAT is also the main disagreement I have with the CS system. A
child deserves to have his/her needs met. He/She is NOT owed a life high
on the hog.
Nope. His Grace is in Anchorage, AK, we are in Marin County, California.
Its not about communication or resentments. Trying to manage it ourselves
would build resentments. To each their own. I seriously doubt His Grace
thinks a child is owed a certain lifestyle, His Grace has been a monk for
36 years, more years than I have been alive, and monks take a vow of
poverty. I am not going to argue with the former head of Family Support
Services. His Grace knows me and my ex's circumstances. I will listen to
His Grace.

And that is a very important thing to consider, Soprano. We do not know
your circumstances. His Grace has info you have not shared with us. We
cannot help you make your decision. We can only contribute what we do based
on our own experience, strength, and hope. I do understand better now where
you are coming from. Is there any sort of support group you belong to? (It
might be a good idea)

teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
Gini wrote:
"Bob Whiteside" wrote
"Soprano" wrote
After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I was
able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and the eve
of my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay!
Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his
mother's funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart
surgery.

I will never understand how some women can celebrate being
downright nasty as some sort of moral victory.
==
Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and read
usenet.



I wasn't trying to be nasty.
It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with the
father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are looking
at a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government control.
If you were still married and either you or your husband lost his
job, you would tighten your belts and get through the rough patch,
and the government would say nothing about it. Since you are
divorced, and filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your belt and
get through rough patches--but your ex no longer has that luxury.
CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per month no matter what. And there are
outrageous consequences if he fails--whether it is his fault or not.
And YOU will not have the luxury of being kind and saying "We'll get
by on less this month." It is no longer YOUR CHOICE--the government
has taken over!
I communicate with her father and she is 6.
You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS
rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a
position where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never lose
his job without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child
support--and if the illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he
will be held guilty of a felony just because he cannot pay what he does
not have! In Ca, if the court orders it, payments go through the state
system--and you will not have the power to say that he does not need to
pay for a couple of months until he gets back on his feet. You will
have put all control over that into the hands of the CS system. I am
not saying that he should not support his child--but why does support
have to be a certain amount of money, determined by people who neither
know nor care about your child, you, or the father? If you communicate
with him, sit down with him and show him what the state will take from
him each month--then work out an agreement where he will pay an amount
agreeable to both of you, and you wnd he will both keep records. You
can always file later if he does not live up to his end of the
agreement. Wh, exactly, is it that His Grace wants you to give up your
power to a government agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of
handling things on your own?
His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His Grace
thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency handle my
ex, if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to discuss this
in personal confidence in private email.
Perhaps. I don't know you or your circumstances. I do know the pressure
to have to pay when there is no money to pay destroys relationships and
breeds resentments. I also know that, the vast majority of the time,
children function better with both parents in their lives--and even
better when the parents are able to communicate with each other without
resentments clouding their relationship. Maybe you and His Grace have
already sat down with dad and discussed the importance of both his
presence in your child's life and his financial responsibility to her.
Maybe he didn't listen. Again, I don't know. But if His Grace is one of
those who thinks that a child is owed a certain lifestyle, no matter what
it does to the noncustodial parent, I will have to disagree with him.
And THAT is also the main disagreement I have with the CS system. A
child deserves to have his/her needs met. He/She is NOT owed a life high
on the hog.
Nope. His Grace is in Anchorage, AK, we are in Marin County, California.
Its not about communication or resentments. Trying to manage it ourselves
would build resentments. To each their own. I seriously doubt His Grace
thinks a child is owed a certain lifestyle, His Grace has been a monk for
36 years, more years than I have been alive, and monks take a vow of
poverty. I am not going to argue with the former head of Family Support
Services. His Grace knows me and my ex's circumstances. I will listen to
His Grace.

And that is a very important thing to consider, Soprano. We do not know
your circumstances. His Grace has info you have not shared with us. We
cannot help you make your decision. We can only contribute what we do based
on our own experience, strength, and hope. I do understand better now where
you are coming from. Is there any sort of support group you belong to? (It
might be a good idea)


For child support? Only this one. I might look and see if the child
support handbook lists a support group. I lent it to my ex while he
fills out the papers. Thank you for respecting His Grace's title. That
is rare on Usenet. It is an honor to meet you.

"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
Gini wrote:
"Bob Whiteside" wrote
"Soprano" wrote
After holding on to these Child Support papers for a year, I
was able to give them to my ex tonight, on his birthday, and
the eve of my namesday, so he could fill his part out. Yay!
Well that sure is better than handing him the papers at his
mother's funeral or while he is in the hospital for major heart
surgery.

I will never understand how some women can celebrate being
downright nasty as some sort of moral victory.
==
Heh--Especially when the kids are going to grow up someday and
read usenet.



I wasn't trying to be nasty.
It os soooooo important for you to find a way to communicate with
the father of your child. Your daughter is 4 years old--you are
looking at a minimum of 14 years of money battles. And government
control. If you were still married and either you or your husband
lost his job, you would tighten your belts and get through the
rough patch, and the government would say nothing about it. Since
you are divorced, and filing for CS, YOU still get to tighten your
belt and get through rough patches--but your ex no longer has that
luxury. CSE *INSISTS* that he pay $X per month no matter what. And
there are outrageous consequences if he fails--whether it is his
fault or not. And YOU will not have the luxury of being kind and
saying "We'll get by on less this month." It is no longer YOUR
CHOICE--the government has taken over!
I communicate with her father and she is 6.
You chose not to comment on anything else I said. By filing for CS
rather than coming to an agreement together you put your ex in a
position where he can never be ill, never have an accident, never
lose his job without accruing arrearages for nonpayment of child
support--and if the illness, injury, or layoff lasts for too long, he
will be held guilty of a felony just because he cannot pay what he
does not have! In Ca, if the court orders it, payments go through
the state system--and you will not have the power to say that he does
not need to pay for a couple of months until he gets back on his
feet. You will have put all control over that into the hands of the
CS system. I am not saying that he should not support his child--but
why does support have to be a certain amount of money, determined by
people who neither know nor care about your child, you, or the
father? If you communicate with him, sit down with him and show him
what the state will take from him each month--then work out an
agreement where he will pay an amount agreeable to both of you, and
you wnd he will both keep records. You can always file later if he
does not live up to his end of the agreement. Wh, exactly, is it
that His Grace wants you to give up your power to a government
agency? Doesn't he think you are capable of handling things on your
own?
His Grace cares about me and knows my circumstances. Perhaps His
Grace thinks it would be better for me to let a government agency
handle my ex, if you know what I mean. Again, I would be willing to
discuss this in personal confidence in private email.
Perhaps. I don't know you or your circumstances. I do know the
pressure to have to pay when there is no money to pay destroys
relationships and breeds resentments. I also know that, the vast
majority of the time, children function better with both parents in
their lives--and even better when the parents are able to communicate
with each other without resentments clouding their relationship. Maybe
you and His Grace have already sat down with dad and discussed the
importance of both his presence in your child's life and his financial
responsibility to her. Maybe he didn't listen. Again, I don't know.
But if His Grace is one of those who thinks that a child is owed a
certain lifestyle, no matter what it does to the noncustodial parent, I
will have to disagree with him. And THAT is also the main disagreement
I have with the CS system. A child deserves to have his/her needs met.
He/She is NOT owed a life high on the hog.
Nope. His Grace is in Anchorage, AK, we are in Marin County, California.
Its not about communication or resentments. Trying to manage it
ourselves would build resentments. To each their own. I seriously doubt
His Grace thinks a child is owed a certain lifestyle, His Grace has been
a monk for 36 years, more years than I have been alive, and monks take a
vow of poverty. I am not going to argue with the former head of Family
Support Services. His Grace knows me and my ex's circumstances. I will
listen to His Grace.

And that is a very important thing to consider, Soprano. We do not know
your circumstances. His Grace has info you have not shared with us. We
cannot help you make your decision. We can only contribute what we do
based on our own experience, strength, and hope. I do understand better
now where you are coming from. Is there any sort of support group you
belong to? (It might be a good idea)
For child support? Only this one. I might look and see if the child
support handbook lists a support group. I lent it to my ex while he fills
out the papers. Thank you for respecting His Grace's title. That is rare
on Usenet. It is an honor to meet you.

No, Soprano, not for child support. That is just a decision you get to make
and others will enforce. I have read your other writings. Believe it or
not, I do know where you are coming from. It is very difficult to trust
others, isn't it? You have a path that only you can walk--we all do. But
there are others to help you along the way. You need to find someone that
you really trust--a face to face person, because tome of voice and body
language are such a huge part of communication--and really get to step 5.
You cannot keep all this self doubt and fear stuffed inside. You seem to
belong to any number of groups, and do a lot of internet communication--but
none of it is going to make decisions for you. That is still going to be
your choices.

teachrmama wrote:

No, Soprano, not for child support. That is just a decision you get to make
and others will enforce. I have read your other writings. Believe it or
not, I do know where you are coming from. It is very difficult to trust
others, isn't it? You have a path that only you can walk--we all do. But
there are others to help you along the way. You need to find someone that
you really trust--a face to face person, because tome of voice and body
language are such a huge part of communication--and really get to step 5.
You cannot keep all this self doubt and fear stuffed inside. You seem to
belong to any number of groups, and do a lot of internet communication--but
none of it is going to make decisions for you. That is still going to be
your choices.


I trust a lot of people. I am solely here to deal with child support. I
trust a lot of people face to face. I am on Step 8. I like to write.

"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:

No, Soprano, not for child support. That is just a decision you get to
make and others will enforce. I have read your other writings. Believe
it or not, I do know where you are coming from. It is very difficult to
trust others, isn't it? You have a path that only you can walk--we all
do. But there are others to help you along the way. You need to find
someone that you really trust--a face to face person, because tome of
voice and body language are such a huge part of communication--and really
get to step 5. You cannot keep all this self doubt and fear stuffed
inside. You seem to belong to any number of groups, and do a lot of
internet communication--but none of it is going to make decisions for
you. That is still going to be your choices.
I trust a lot of people. I am solely here to deal with child support. I
trust a lot of people face to face. I am on Step 8. I like to write.

As I wrote before, Atlanta, the decision to file for governemnt enforced
child support is a complex one. It would be impossible for us here to tell
you "yes" or"no." We can only give advice. The decision is yours. It
sounds as if your ex might realize that he needs help with his commitment to
provide financially for his daughter, and is willing to have CSE help him
with this. I would imagine, from some of what you have written, that he
migfht belong to at least one of the organizations that you belong to--or,
possibly, night need to belong. In that case, a little extra help keeping
financial commitments might be exactly what he needs. Seemingly both of you
agree with this course of action, so I have no problem with it. I wish you
luck in overcoming your obstacles.

teachrmama wrote:
"Soprano" wrote in message
...
teachrmama wrote:

No, Soprano, not for child support. That is just a decision you get to
make and others will enforce. I have read your other writings. Believe
it or not, I do know where you are coming from. It is very difficult to
trust others, isn't it? You have a path that only you can walk--we all
do. But there are others to help you along the way. You need to find
someone that you really trust--a face to face person, because tome of
voice and body language are such a huge part of communication--and really
get to step 5. You cannot keep all this self doubt and fear stuffed
inside. You seem to belong to any number of groups, and do a lot of
internet communication--but none of it is going to make decisions for
you. That is still going to be your choices.
I trust a lot of people. I am solely here to deal with child support. I
trust a lot of people face to face. I am on Step 8. I like to write.

As I wrote before, Atlanta, the decision to file for governemnt enforced
child support is a complex one. It would be impossible for us here to tell
you "yes" or"no." We can only give advice. The decision is yours. It
sounds as if your ex might realize that he needs help with his commitment to
provide financially for his daughter, and is willing to have CSE help him
with this. I would imagine, from some of what you have written, that he
migfht belong to at least one of the organizations that you belong to--or,
possibly, night need to belong. In that case, a little extra help keeping
financial commitments might be exactly what he needs. Seemingly both of you
agree with this course of action, so I have no problem with it. I wish you
luck in overcoming your obstacles.


He should belong to one of those fellowships. That is up to him. Pray
for him. He's struggling. And yes, that's the issue. After one year I
have made the decision to file these papers. That is the advice. It is a
complicated issue. But it is for our daughter, not me. I don't want to
do this. I didn't want to divorce him. But this is life. This is
adulthood. This is maturity. This is motherhood. This is responsibility.
I had no idea our marriage would end in divorce after 5 years and 9
months. Its a great sorrow and a great tragedy. But that's the way it goes.