Toddler calls me by my first name...help!

I think you need to let it roll off your back and not be so sensitive. Kids
are going to hurt our feelings to some degree and one needs to develop a
thicker skin. He sees that it bothers you and he is continuing with it.
Toughen up, as another poster said, your child was not given to for your
validation. You need to validate yourself and not worry about what other
people think (when he uses your name out in public).
--
Sue
mom to three girls

cloud nine wrote in message
...
A huge thank you to everyone for all your responses! I know it is not a
big
deal to some here, but to me, it is.

I am going to try all of your suggestions.

I appreciate it!

Sue

(Kate J) wrote in message om...
"cloud nine" wrote in message ...
This started a while ago, actually more like five months ago. DS (26 months)
has been calling me "Pam" and it's really, really beginning to bother me.

Count yourself lucky you *have* a name. My DD has been calling her
daddy "dadda" for weeks and weeks but refuses to give me a name,
despite the fact that she is perfectly capable of saying "mamma". It
drives me nuts. Even "kate" would do LOL.

Kate

LOL! DS didn't call me anything until he was ~2 1/2 in spite of
saying "daddy" at 10m. My name was "waaannnnhhhhh!", LOL. I had an
exciting weekend, once, when he kept saying "ma ma" and I made him say
it over and over and over. Then I read him "The Very Busy Spider" and
realized he was just making the goat noise. Sigh. Now I think it's
funny that he calls DH "Daddy" and I'm informally known as "mom".

I kind of wonder if deliberately not saying "mommy" is because you
don't really need a name. Sometimes I think that DS thinks I'm just a
part of him that isn't actually physically attached.

Take care,
Lisa

My DD has been calling her
daddy "dadda" for weeks and weeks but refuses to give me a name,
despite the fact that she is perfectly capable of saying "mamma". It
drives me nuts. Even "kate" would do LOL.

My daughters used to call me Papa and pat me on the arm to show they meant me,
not their father.

--Helen

I have just one suggestion - it's what I did when I thought I heard my
daughter start to call me "Cori" rather than Momma....DON'T ANSWER. DON'T
RESPOND. As far as he's concerned, your name is NOT "Pam", it's MOMMY. Why
answer to something that you don't want him to call you?? That will just
reinforce the behavior, no matter WHAT you tell him about the names...as
long as he sees you answering to it to HIM, he'll keep doing it.

Your DS: Pam, do it.
You: nothing
DS: PAM...?
You: I'm sorry, who's Pam? I'm Mommy. Can I help you?

Also, I've encouraged my DH to call me Mommy around my Dd, and I call him
Daddy to her. It helps, and I think we've made the connection. I also had to
stop calling MY mother "Mom" and start calling her what I wanted the BABE to
call her - "Dearma". :-) I felt SO HORRIBLE when my DD was calling MY mother
"Mommy"!! So, we emphasized "Dearma" for her and "Momma" for me...and I
think we're past the trouble stage.

HTH!
Corinne

--
"Since AP parents are accused of "spoiling" their children with
responsiveness, love, understanding, patience, positive interaction,
intimacy and closeness, respect, and value - I have decided that spoiling
ROCKS! Teaching my child that she ALWAYS deserves all of the above is the
right thing to do, and I plan to own my spoiling ways. Baby Spoilers Unite!"
--Jessica, iVillage AP board

On Fri, 15 Aug 2003 14:51:22 +1000, "Tai" wrote:

DS2.5 called me by my name for the first time this week and I had to get him
to repeat it to be sure he was. Since the only person in the house who calls
me by name and not "mummy" or "mum" is my husband I'm quite surprised DS
even knows what my name is!

My 3 yo actually asked what my name was a few months ago. I like that she sort
of understands that my name isn't "Mom," and that "Mom" is only the nickname my
kids use. Everyone once in a while, the kids will call me by my first name, and
frankly, I don't really care. While I have a slight concern about whether this
is disrespectful (although none of the children are allowed to call other adults
by their first names), hearing that "Mom Mom Mom Mom" mantra gets old sometimes.


Especially since my husband usually calls me by the contraction rather than the full name our son used.

My DH rarely uses my name, but calls me "Doll" instead. I have no clue why, but
the kids think this is hilarious and will also call me "Doll" sometimes. Now,
that is something I really don't like!

For the past few months he's been calling all men "daddy" and all women
"mummy". It's a phase that my older children went through and many of my
friends' children and it's funny to see the effect of it on strange men, or
rather, men who are strangers.

Oh, I love this!! It's quite hilarious! The youngest yelled, "There's Daddy!" in
a store the other day and what she meant was the one man looked sort of like DH.
It's all I can do to say, "Oh, that's not Daddy" without cracking up. Really
trips the men out, too.



Tracy
======================================
We child proofed our home 3 years ago
and they're still getting in!
======================================

thumper wrote:

(Kate J) wrote in message om...
"cloud nine" wrote in message ...
This started a while ago, actually more like five months ago. DS (26 months)
has been calling me "Pam" and it's really, really beginning to bother me.

Count yourself lucky you *have* a name. My DD has been calling her
daddy "dadda" for weeks and weeks but refuses to give me a name,
despite the fact that she is perfectly capable of saying "mamma". It
drives me nuts. Even "kate" would do LOL.

Kate

LOL! DS didn't call me anything until he was ~2 1/2 in spite of
saying "daddy" at 10m. My name was "waaannnnhhhhh!", LOL. I had an
exciting weekend, once, when he kept saying "ma ma" and I made him say
it over and over and over. Then I read him "The Very Busy Spider" and
realized he was just making the goat noise. Sigh. Now I think it's
funny that he calls DH "Daddy" and I'm informally known as "mom".

I kind of wonder if deliberately not saying "mommy" is because you
don't really need a name. Sometimes I think that DS thinks I'm just a
part of him that isn't actually physically attached.

Take care,
Lisa
-----------
You are! This has been determined by cognitive researchers.
Separates a bit past 4, you'll probably feel it, and mourn.
Steve

"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
---------------------------

snipped for slightly amusing lack of imagination in vocabulary

...What the **** is wrong
with them calling you by name??
Steve

Nothing is "wrong" with it. I was answering the op's specific
concern/question - but in my family, my sibs & I were raised to believe that
it shows respect to refer to someone by their Honorific title - "Mother",
"Father", "Grandmother", "Uncle" (blood relation or no). As young children,
it's a rule; as adults, we are requested by our elders to continue to use
the Honorific rather than their given names. Since we love, respect &
sincerely like these elders of ours, we comply with their requests. There
are instances of using given names in a casual, joking manner - but it's not
the norm.

Corinne

--
************************************************** ***********
"This generation of mothers labors under [the] dubious pronouncement that
babies sleep best in isolation. Every infant knows better. His protest at
nocturnal solitude contains the wisdom of millennia."
-- Thomas Lewis, M.D.,
'A General Theory of Love'

Corinne wrote:

"R. Steve Walz" wrote:

snipped for slightly amusing lack of imagination in vocabulary
-------------
Replaced to fight fascism and hypocrisy, you dumb bitch!

--
What the **** is WRONG with you people!??? They will know your name
AND that you're their parent as they grow up! What the **** is wrong
with them calling you by name?? My kids called us by our first names
OR by our parental title interchanably and AS THEY PLEASED, and it
never upset any of US, just a few overhearing biddy dishonoring
fascists who always want children UNDER YOUR THUMB and feel CONFUSED
AND OFFENDED that you TREAT YOUR CHILDREN AS HUMAN BEINGS AND that you
have FREED YOUR CHILDREN and given them their RIGHT TO THEIR OWN SPEECH
AND BELIEFS!!

Look down at your ****ing sig quote, and DO THAT, you ****ing abusive
HYPOCRITE!


"Since AP parents are accused of "spoiling" their children with
responsiveness, love, understanding, patience, positive interaction,
intimacy and closeness, respect, and value - I have decided that spoiling
ROCKS! Teaching my child that she ALWAYS deserves all of the above is the
right thing to do, and I plan to own my spoiling ways. Baby Spoilers Unite!"
--Jessica, iVillage AP board
-------------
Read AND OBEY your own ****ing sig quote!!!!!!!
Steve


...What the **** is wrong
with them calling you by name??
Steve

Nothing is "wrong" with it. I was answering the op's specific
concern/question - but in my family, my sibs & I were raised to believe that
it shows respect to refer to someone by their Honorific title - "Mother",
"Father", "Grandmother", "Uncle" (blood relation or no). As young children,
it's a rule;
---------------
Bull**** and nonsense, coerced speech or "respect" is ABUSE!
Leave children the **** alone, you *******s!!


as adults, we are requested by our elders to continue to use
the Honorific rather than their given names. Since we love, respect &
sincerely like these elders of ours, we comply with their requests.
-----------
OUR ****ing choice, thanks!


There
are instances of using given names in a casual, joking manner - but it's not
the norm.

Corinne
-------------
**** your "norms", the norm is what children do,
of which what you "adults" do is merely a twisted corruption!!
Steve