Past Due Support

On Sun, 20 Jun 2004 20:08:51 -0700, "Chris" wrote:


"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Chris" wrote in message
news:cGpBc.20261$ey.1529@fed1read06...

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Chris" wrote in message
news:FBFAc.10749$ey.650@fed1read06...

"Beverly" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 18 Jun 2004 00:43:33 -0700, "Chris"
wrote:


"Beverly" wrote in message
.. .
On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 09:26:48 -0600, Bob
wrote:

Beverly wrote:
My divorce took over 3 years and I was using legal aid for
my
representation for all but the last few months. My ex
was/is
a
good
game player and knew how to cause continuances... including
hiring
an
attorney who sat on the board of Legal Aid which created a
conflict
which caused MY need to change attorney who needed a
continuance
to
catch up on the case. Anyway, I suspect it is because I
used
Legal
Aid that a temporary order of support was never asked for.
I
didn't
have to chase my ex for several years, but I did have to
ride
out
the
court schedule. Support was ordered from the month we were
divorced,
not the month I filed.


And never once did you consider getting a job and supporting
YOUR
kids.
YOU are 100% responsible for the support of the kids that
YOU
choose
to bear. The co-equal responsibility of their fathers does
not
excuse
you from your 100% responsibility for their support. Like all
whiny
bitches you expect men-pay, women-get-paid.

Pound sand bitch.

Excuse me? What caused you to have the impression that I
didn't
work
or that I don't take 100% responsibility for the support of my
children? Having not gone on welfare after splitting, who do
you
think supported the children 100% until there was an order?
Who
do
you think supports the children 100% when their father is
"between
jobs?" I have enabled myself to provide for my children
without
my
ex's help AT ALL since that is what I do most of the time
anyway.

If you support your children 100%, then what's up with this
"order"?

A piece of writing that should be filed under fiction,
specifically
fantasy? It is the court's fantasy on how they would like to see
the
division of financial responsibility.

Don't play games. There would be NO order if you didn't have a hand
in
it.

I dunno, Chris. Sounds like Dad had a hand in it, too. He, after
all,
gets
the income tax deductions every year. And he doesn't pay a penny for
the
privilege. How do you feel about that?

Income tax deductions for what?

He gets to claim the children as dependents on his taxes, even when not
paying support.

That's news to me! But even if true, how does he have a hand in the lawsuit
against himself?

Readers Digest Version:

State removed my eldest son from our custody because my eldest son
claimed he was molested by my ex.

State asked my ex to reveal his history of child molestation to me,
which he did. He was a diagnosed pedophile and had molested 10-12
children previously.

I remained married to him, seeking treatment for my ex, until it was
hammered into my head that pedophiles are considered incurable.

For a while, I considered remaining married, yet living apart, for the
next 17 years (our youngest was 1).

State threatened to take the remaining children if I did not divorce
my ex.

I chose my children above my ex and filed for divorce.

The offer on the table was for us to be divorced with my retaining
custody of the children and the basic household possessions which he
had already duplicated. Visitation was to be supervised. I did not
ask for spousal support or child support. I never asked for child
support for my eldest son either (child of a previous relationship)
and it was not a problem. Then again, his father and I had no reason
to be in court... his father did not want him.

He did not want me to have the children if he could not, so he
counterclaimed for custody. The state was poised to take the children
should he have gotten custody.

My lawyer explained to me that a court appearance meant the judge
would automatically order child support, in cases of divorce of a
couple with children, according to state guidelines.

The judge saw that no mention of spousal or child support was in the
motion. My lawyer attempted to waive it. The judge waived spousal,
but not child support. I, then, felt it fair to split tax
dependencies if we would both be supporting them. A miscommunication
occurred and both dependencies went to my ex.

As far as my ex's "hand" in the lawsuit, it was the counterclaim which
was based in revenge and not reality. He was not going to have
custody of the children either way, but he forced it to go to trial.
He also had to go through the embarassment of sitting on the stand and
admitting he was a pedophile. HIs "hand" in the entire ordeal is what
he had done... both to my son and the previous children... although I
understand it is a mental illness. I would not have divorced him
otherwise, but I was unwilling to give my children away. Adoption
proceedings had already begun on my eldest before the divorce was
final; however, he was returned to me within a month after the divorce
was final.

I am sorry that so many of the men on this list are so angry that they
cannot see past a "normal" divorce or a "normal" unwed parent
situation. I am sorry that I felt it fair to accept whatever child
support came in against the tax dependencies I could not claim, but I
still think it fair. Many posts I write to women tell them to become
independent from child support because it CAN be done. And there is
great pride in doing it. My eldest son is now 20. He didn't have a
lot of Tommy Hilfiger clothes like many of his friends, but he
survived.

In article , Beverly says...
....................................

State removed my eldest son from our custody because my eldest son
claimed he was molested by my ex.

State asked my ex to reveal his history of child molestation to me,
which he did. He was a diagnosed pedophile and had molested 10-12
children previously.

I remained married to him, seeking treatment for my ex, until it was
hammered into my head that pedophiles are considered incurable.

For a while, I considered remaining married, yet living apart, for the
next 17 years (our youngest was 1).

State threatened to take the remaining children if I did not divorce
my ex.

I chose my children above my ex and filed for divorce.
====
Yikes--What a mess. Hope all is settled down now. Why isn't/wasn't he in prison?
====

In article , Beverly says...
....................................

State removed my eldest son from our custody because my eldest son
claimed he was molested by my ex.

State asked my ex to reveal his history of child molestation to me,
which he did. He was a diagnosed pedophile and had molested 10-12
children previously.

I remained married to him, seeking treatment for my ex, until it was
hammered into my head that pedophiles are considered incurable.

For a while, I considered remaining married, yet living apart, for the
next 17 years (our youngest was 1).

State threatened to take the remaining children if I did not divorce
my ex.

I chose my children above my ex and filed for divorce.
====
Yikes--What a mess. Hope all is settled down now. Why isn't/wasn't he in prison?
====

In article , Beverly says...
....................................

State removed my eldest son from our custody because my eldest son
claimed he was molested by my ex.

State asked my ex to reveal his history of child molestation to me,
which he did. He was a diagnosed pedophile and had molested 10-12
children previously.

I remained married to him, seeking treatment for my ex, until it was
hammered into my head that pedophiles are considered incurable.

For a while, I considered remaining married, yet living apart, for the
next 17 years (our youngest was 1).

State threatened to take the remaining children if I did not divorce
my ex.

I chose my children above my ex and filed for divorce.
====
Yikes--What a mess. Hope all is settled down now. Why isn't/wasn't he in prison?
====

In article , Beverly says...
....................................

State removed my eldest son from our custody because my eldest son
claimed he was molested by my ex.

State asked my ex to reveal his history of child molestation to me,
which he did. He was a diagnosed pedophile and had molested 10-12
children previously.

I remained married to him, seeking treatment for my ex, until it was
hammered into my head that pedophiles are considered incurable.

For a while, I considered remaining married, yet living apart, for the
next 17 years (our youngest was 1).

State threatened to take the remaining children if I did not divorce
my ex.

I chose my children above my ex and filed for divorce.
====
Yikes--What a mess. Hope all is settled down now. Why isn't/wasn't he in prison?
====

On 20 Jun 2004 21:40:54 -0700, Gini wrote:

In article , Beverly says...
...................................

State removed my eldest son from our custody because my eldest son
claimed he was molested by my ex.

State asked my ex to reveal his history of child molestation to me,
which he did. He was a diagnosed pedophile and had molested 10-12
children previously.

I remained married to him, seeking treatment for my ex, until it was
hammered into my head that pedophiles are considered incurable.

For a while, I considered remaining married, yet living apart, for the
next 17 years (our youngest was 1).

State threatened to take the remaining children if I did not divorce
my ex.

I chose my children above my ex and filed for divorce.
====
Yikes--What a mess. Hope all is settled down now. Why isn't/wasn't he in prison?
====

Before I met him:

He had only confessed what he had done to child protective services
and a doctor (who reported to CPS as mandated). Child protective
services encouraged the parents to press charges, but none did. Child
protective services told me that ALL parents removed their children
from harm's way (the daycare to which he had access), but did not want
their children to have to testify.

After my son's accusation:

Ex never admitted my son's accusation to anyone; however, what my son
claimed he did matched what he had admitted to doing to the other
children explicity. Child protective services encouraged me tro press
charges, which I did. My ex was unable to get into specific treatment
programs without a conviction. My, then 5 year old, son spoke with
an investigator and my ex took a lie detector. First pass at lie
detector was inconclusive. Second pass, he managed to pass. No
physical evidence with felacio. Police said they needed more
testimony. I told them about the file at child protective services.
They told me it was protected and could not gain access to it (I have
since lobbied and had that law changed... they may now gain access if
there is reasonable cause. It is still not as it should be, but
better than it was). At any rate, they dropped the charges because
they didn't think a grand jury would indict.

In divorce court, he admitted to the disease, but not the crimes.
Personally, I am not so sure he remembers the crimes. He had a
statement from his therapist which diagnosed him with multiple
personality disorder.

On 20 Jun 2004 21:40:54 -0700, Gini wrote:

In article , Beverly says...
...................................

State removed my eldest son from our custody because my eldest son
claimed he was molested by my ex.

State asked my ex to reveal his history of child molestation to me,
which he did. He was a diagnosed pedophile and had molested 10-12
children previously.

I remained married to him, seeking treatment for my ex, until it was
hammered into my head that pedophiles are considered incurable.

For a while, I considered remaining married, yet living apart, for the
next 17 years (our youngest was 1).

State threatened to take the remaining children if I did not divorce
my ex.

I chose my children above my ex and filed for divorce.
====
Yikes--What a mess. Hope all is settled down now. Why isn't/wasn't he in prison?
====

Before I met him:

He had only confessed what he had done to child protective services
and a doctor (who reported to CPS as mandated). Child protective
services encouraged the parents to press charges, but none did. Child
protective services told me that ALL parents removed their children
from harm's way (the daycare to which he had access), but did not want
their children to have to testify.

After my son's accusation:

Ex never admitted my son's accusation to anyone; however, what my son
claimed he did matched what he had admitted to doing to the other
children explicity. Child protective services encouraged me tro press
charges, which I did. My ex was unable to get into specific treatment
programs without a conviction. My, then 5 year old, son spoke with
an investigator and my ex took a lie detector. First pass at lie
detector was inconclusive. Second pass, he managed to pass. No
physical evidence with felacio. Police said they needed more
testimony. I told them about the file at child protective services.
They told me it was protected and could not gain access to it (I have
since lobbied and had that law changed... they may now gain access if
there is reasonable cause. It is still not as it should be, but
better than it was). At any rate, they dropped the charges because
they didn't think a grand jury would indict.

In divorce court, he admitted to the disease, but not the crimes.
Personally, I am not so sure he remembers the crimes. He had a
statement from his therapist which diagnosed him with multiple
personality disorder.

On 20 Jun 2004 21:40:54 -0700, Gini wrote:

In article , Beverly says...
...................................

State removed my eldest son from our custody because my eldest son
claimed he was molested by my ex.

State asked my ex to reveal his history of child molestation to me,
which he did. He was a diagnosed pedophile and had molested 10-12
children previously.

I remained married to him, seeking treatment for my ex, until it was
hammered into my head that pedophiles are considered incurable.

For a while, I considered remaining married, yet living apart, for the
next 17 years (our youngest was 1).

State threatened to take the remaining children if I did not divorce
my ex.

I chose my children above my ex and filed for divorce.
====
Yikes--What a mess. Hope all is settled down now. Why isn't/wasn't he in prison?
====

Before I met him:

He had only confessed what he had done to child protective services
and a doctor (who reported to CPS as mandated). Child protective
services encouraged the parents to press charges, but none did. Child
protective services told me that ALL parents removed their children
from harm's way (the daycare to which he had access), but did not want
their children to have to testify.

After my son's accusation:

Ex never admitted my son's accusation to anyone; however, what my son
claimed he did matched what he had admitted to doing to the other
children explicity. Child protective services encouraged me tro press
charges, which I did. My ex was unable to get into specific treatment
programs without a conviction. My, then 5 year old, son spoke with
an investigator and my ex took a lie detector. First pass at lie
detector was inconclusive. Second pass, he managed to pass. No
physical evidence with felacio. Police said they needed more
testimony. I told them about the file at child protective services.
They told me it was protected and could not gain access to it (I have
since lobbied and had that law changed... they may now gain access if
there is reasonable cause. It is still not as it should be, but
better than it was). At any rate, they dropped the charges because
they didn't think a grand jury would indict.

In divorce court, he admitted to the disease, but not the crimes.
Personally, I am not so sure he remembers the crimes. He had a
statement from his therapist which diagnosed him with multiple
personality disorder.

On 20 Jun 2004 21:40:54 -0700, Gini wrote:

In article , Beverly says...
...................................

State removed my eldest son from our custody because my eldest son
claimed he was molested by my ex.

State asked my ex to reveal his history of child molestation to me,
which he did. He was a diagnosed pedophile and had molested 10-12
children previously.

I remained married to him, seeking treatment for my ex, until it was
hammered into my head that pedophiles are considered incurable.

For a while, I considered remaining married, yet living apart, for the
next 17 years (our youngest was 1).

State threatened to take the remaining children if I did not divorce
my ex.

I chose my children above my ex and filed for divorce.
====
Yikes--What a mess. Hope all is settled down now. Why isn't/wasn't he in prison?
====

Before I met him:

He had only confessed what he had done to child protective services
and a doctor (who reported to CPS as mandated). Child protective
services encouraged the parents to press charges, but none did. Child
protective services told me that ALL parents removed their children
from harm's way (the daycare to which he had access), but did not want
their children to have to testify.

After my son's accusation:

Ex never admitted my son's accusation to anyone; however, what my son
claimed he did matched what he had admitted to doing to the other
children explicity. Child protective services encouraged me tro press
charges, which I did. My ex was unable to get into specific treatment
programs without a conviction. My, then 5 year old, son spoke with
an investigator and my ex took a lie detector. First pass at lie
detector was inconclusive. Second pass, he managed to pass. No
physical evidence with felacio. Police said they needed more
testimony. I told them about the file at child protective services.
They told me it was protected and could not gain access to it (I have
since lobbied and had that law changed... they may now gain access if
there is reasonable cause. It is still not as it should be, but
better than it was). At any rate, they dropped the charges because
they didn't think a grand jury would indict.

In divorce court, he admitted to the disease, but not the crimes.
Personally, I am not so sure he remembers the crimes. He had a
statement from his therapist which diagnosed him with multiple
personality disorder.

In article , Beverly says...

On 20 Jun 2004 21:40:54 -0700, Gini wrote:

In article , Beverly says...
...................................

State removed my eldest son from our custody because my eldest son
claimed he was molested by my ex.

State asked my ex to reveal his history of child molestation to me,
which he did. He was a diagnosed pedophile and had molested 10-12
children previously.

I remained married to him, seeking treatment for my ex, until it was
hammered into my head that pedophiles are considered incurable.

For a while, I considered remaining married, yet living apart, for the
next 17 years (our youngest was 1).

State threatened to take the remaining children if I did not divorce
my ex.

I chose my children above my ex and filed for divorce.
====
Yikes--What a mess. Hope all is settled down now. Why isn't/wasn't he in prison?
====

Before I met him:

He had only confessed what he had done to child protective services
and a doctor (who reported to CPS as mandated). Child protective
services encouraged the parents to press charges, but none did. Child
protective services told me that ALL parents removed their children
from harm's way (the daycare to which he had access), but did not want
their children to have to testify.

After my son's accusation:

Ex never admitted my son's accusation to anyone; however, what my son
claimed he did matched what he had admitted to doing to the other
children explicity. Child protective services encouraged me tro press
charges, which I did. My ex was unable to get into specific treatment
programs without a conviction. My, then 5 year old, son spoke with
an investigator and my ex took a lie detector. First pass at lie
detector was inconclusive. Second pass, he managed to pass. No
physical evidence with felacio. Police said they needed more
testimony. I told them about the file at child protective services.
They told me it was protected and could not gain access to it (I have
since lobbied and had that law changed... they may now gain access if
there is reasonable cause. It is still not as it should be, but
better than it was). At any rate, they dropped the charges because
they didn't think a grand jury would indict.

In divorce court, he admitted to the disease, but not the crimes.
Personally, I am not so sure he remembers the crimes. He had a
statement from his therapist which diagnosed him with multiple
personality disorder.

=====
What a strange set of circumstances. At least you and your kids are out from
under it (relatively) now.
=====
=====